Psychosomatic Monsters
by sachi-sama
Summary: After Shizuo begins acting strangely, Izaya uses his prowess to get answers as to why. Unfortunately, this causes a series of events that ultimately fly out of control. Rated M for a certain brute's mouth and a certain raven's imagination. Bonus chapter, up!
1. The Monster Dilemma

_Welcome to the first chapter of my very first story! Welcome to all of you, and I do hope you enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own, but I like to prance around in the universe and pretend I belong there._**

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><p><strong>The Monster Dilemma<strong>

Izaya Orihara prided himself on what he knew. Of course, being an unbelievably good informant, and trolling expert extraordinaire, he had a right to be a little cocky. He loved to sit back and observe his fellow man. Well, he loved to sit back and adore his little humans. He himself was a god among men.

It was amazing to him that no matter how much he knew about society, his precious projects could still surprise him. Thus, he toyed with them. Pushed them past their limits and made them see what qualities they had that others may have previously missed. It was all in good spirit, and to him, it was as natural as breathing.

In all honesty, he loved all humans to the point of obsession. He had his few favorites, and he kept a special watch on them. He was well aware that they probably didn't love him back, but they would soon enough. Everyone would realize what a genius he was. After all, everything he did had a purpose, and messing with people was just too much fun!

Then there was a blond "man" sent to him to try his patience. The bodyguard confounded Izaya. Nothing he did was set in stone. Surely one who possessed that much strength couldn't be human. Thus, Izaya had no love for him. Shizuo was simply a toy. And a very fun toy he was. Anyone in their right mind would sooner play with a bull than purposely annoy the brute, but who ever said Izaya was in his right mind? He started small of course. Pushing the blond's buttons ever so slightly. Eventually it escalated to the point of Shizuo getting arrested. Now THAT had been hilarious.

Now, it was a daily game of tag in which the pissed off blond would run after the informant trying to snap him in half. Sometimes they destroyed half the city. Other times Izaya would simply slip out of sight before the brute could cause too much damage. Messing with little Shizu-chan was just too exciting. The blond had made the mistake of being interesting, so like it or not he was going to entertain Izaya forever.

Today had been great for Izaya so far. He had successfully completed a job and located a man who owed a lot of money to a lot of people. Shiki had promised him a pay raise for the short job, and Izaya was going to indulge a little. He had no plans in sharing his extra money with Namie. After all, she only filed the work he had done himself. Well…maybe he would give her a day off. Without pay, of course.

He skipped happily down the streets of Ikebukuro. He loved this bustling hotbed of humans. So many possibilities! He was meeting Celty here later to give her a small share of his pay. She, after all, had transported the doomed man to his fate.

He sat on a bench beside the fountain and stretched his arms releasing a small "mmm" of enjoyment. Even gods could get stiff muscles from working too hard. He grinned as he checked his phone. He had a message from Celty.

[On the way now. Shinra almost had a meltdown so I was delayed.]

Ahh, Shinra. One of Izaya's most favorite humans. He looked up to the clouds and sighed in pure bliss. Everything was going so great today! Not to mention he had a few minutes of relaxation before Celty got there. He had just closed his eyes for a minute when…

"IZAAAAAYYYYAAAAAA!" and a vending machine landed at his feet. Really, how rude. He had just begun to relax!

"Shizu-chan, you have no class. The proper thing to do would have been to wait for me to notice you before attacking! That way you wouldn't have had to over exert yourself by throwing a huge machine just to get my attention."

Said "Shizu-chan" stomped forward until he was directly in front of the informant.

"Shut the fuck up. If I wanted your attention, I would've gotten it before now. The flea's shutting his eyes and letting his guard down? You're getting sloppy!" he said with an animalistic grin. Really, such a monster.

"Ah, but I wasn't expecting a huge brute to throw something at me in broad daylight. But then again, it doesn't surprise me too much. A protozoan like you couldn't possibly think about his actions. Shizu-chan." Izaya put an extra emphasis on the nickname just to piss off the brute even more.

"Izayaaaaaaa….." Shizuo had already instinctively reached for the nearest garbage can, lifting it like it was nothing, and held it over his head in warning.

"I told you to stop calling me that! You're so fucking DEAD!" and he threw it for all he was worth.

Unfortunately, the informant did an agile one handed cartwheel off the bench that would've made the greatest gymnast green with envy, and dodged the oncoming missile. He stood slightly to the side of the bench, facing the fountain and a very angry protozoan. Grinning, he reached in his pocket and pulled out his flick blade.

"Shizu-chan is so angry. Really, can't you learn to let things go? Get a new start? Maybe learn to read? Surely you've at least heard of reading." He tossed the blade at the bodyguard's face. Shizuo caught the oncoming blade in his mouth and spit it to the side. His face said quite clearly that he wasn't amused by such witty sarcasm. Ah, well. He usually never appreciated Izaya's genius.

"Catch me if you can, ne?" The informant was running for all he was worth with the monster at his heels. This was Izaya's third favorite thing to do.

Number one was observing his humans. Number two was eating ootoro. Honestly, who could hate eating ootoro? He loved feeling the wind around him, flipping his jacket as he ran. He loved looking back and seeing the angry face of the blond. This was part of why he existed, just to play with this toy. It was so fun, so fun, so FUN!

He rounded a corner, and managed to get his footing just right to climb onto the side of a building as he ran. Scaling the building, he looked down to see Shizuo mimicking his movements, though not as gracefully. The ex-bartender managed to learn enough about parkour from chasing the flea for years.

They ran on the rooftops of buildings until Izaya grew bored. He had to meet with Celty soon, and as much as he loved torturing this man, all good things must come to an end eventually. He looked back with a final grin at the brute, and jumped off the rooftop onto a busy street, blending in with the people of Ikebukuro. He knew he had won this little round when he heard a final "IZZZAAAAYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" from the defeated man. Really, Shizu-chan was so loud.

Celty was already at the designated meeting place. The fading sun was gleaming off her helmet as she looked up to see Izaya walking toward her.

"Ah, just the woman I wanted to see! Do tell me why Shinra was having a meltdown, I'm so curious~," he said giving her his best look. He watched as she typed her response on her PDA, showing him when she was done.

_[He thought I was supposed to be off today. He was right you know.]_

Izaya put on his mask of sympathy. "Yes, yes of course you were. But I had to get this job done today. It was such good money, and really you have quite a good bit of pay from this too," he said smoothly.

The Dullahan wasn't fooled by his mask. She never was. She pecked at her keypad in record speed and shoved her response in his face.

_[Don't give me that! You know this could've waited until tomorrow and you still would've gotten your pay raise! This was about messing with Shinra and me!]_

Izaya chuckled lightly as held out his hand, giving the Black Rider her share of the money.

"As much as I love messing with the two of you, this really couldn't wait. You'll have a day off soon enough dear Celty. Oh, give my regards to Shinra. Tell him to relax and eat some good sushi!" He turned on his heel, leaving Celty to mount her bike. He heard the screech of the wheels, and the cry of a horse, and he knew she was gone. What a temper! He should remember to do something nice for Shinra later for having to deal with her so much.

He walked through his front door, and skipped merrily to his computer. Skimming his files he barely noticed the "ahem" that came from Namie's work space. He looked up at her.

"Yes?" he smiled at her.

"Orihara-san I have finished my part of the assignment for today. I can leave now right?" she said in her usual monotone voice. He went back to his files.

"Really, Namie, you act like you do so much. Leave if it makes you happy." He didn't look up as he heard her stand from her chair and stomp out of the room. He loved pushing her buttons as well. Logging on to the Dollars chat room he could easily get the gist of the conversation.

_Setton- I'm telling you, I saw them! Orihara and Heiwajima were at it again today!_

_Hikaru- Aren't they at it everyday? Honestly those two can't go 5 seconds without trying to kill each other._

Izaya chuckled to himself. He loved being famous. He typed a response himself, joining the conversation.

_Kanra- They're both so horrible! I wouldn't want them against me!_

_Setton- I know right? I'd rather them fight each other than turn and fight me. That would be so scary!_

_Hikaru- Oh, hey Kanra. Yeah you have a point they are scary. I don't even want them to know of my existence! But I will say Shizuo scares me the most._

Izaya's eyes grew wide. He forgot people were actually scared of Shizuo because of his strength. He himself was never frightened of that aspect. He thought of it more as a tool for his amusement. He quickly recovered and typed his response.

_Kanra-He is such a brute! Haha, but I don't find him scary. He actually seems quite harmless aside from his strength. Orihara scares me the most._

_Setton- Well said, Kanra! That Orihara creep is much more dangerous! I heard if he gets information on you, your life is over!_

_Hikaru- All the better reason not to get involved with either of them. Ikebukuro is dangerous enough with the Slasher still loose._

Ah, now the conversation would get boring. Izaya didn't care about the Slasher at the moment. If he couldn't associate a face with a name, he had no interest in the conversation. He let his mind wander and thought about the next day.

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><p>Izaya woke up with his usual attitude. He wanted the day to be fun, but waking up was the hardest part of the day for him. He had to analyze exactly which jobs he had to do first, and he loathed the process. But, it must be done. After he finally got up, he had a quick piece of non-buttered toast, and left Namie with a lot of things to file. Most of it was useless things he spent the night finding just to annoy her. Really, he took such care of his secretary.<p>

He left Shinjuku and headed for Ikebukuro. He hoped he could get a few things done before he encountered the brute. Once their chase started, he would have to waste time getting away. As he crossed a busy street, swinging his arms out like a child, he noticed the familiar mop of blond hair walking on the sidewalk. Ah, well. Better get the chase on early today.

"Shizu-chaaaaaaan! Hey, Shizu-chan!" he yelled, waving frantically to the bodyguard. He was making a scene, but didn't care. He was above all of them anyway. The blond didn't stop. He didn't even look back! Was he ignoring Izaya?

"Shizu-chan's going deaf! Shizu-chaaaaan!" He ran after the blond, hoping to get into the taller man's direct line of sight. To his surprise, he was able to get right beside him and fall in step with him. Shizuo nodded to him, and…kept walking. What the actual hell?

"Ne, Shizu-chan wants to take a day off? Is that it? Did you tire yourself out yesterday? I could rub your shoulders for you~," he leaned over and tried to block the blond's path. Finally, the brute faced him.

"I appreciate the offer. But no, I'm fine. Excuse me please, I'm in a hurry." He walked away, leaving a very confused informant in his wake.


	2. Informing the Informant

**Informing the Informant**

"…rihara-san. Orihara-san. Orihara-san!"

"What?" he turned to his secretary with a quick whip of his head in annoyance.

"You've been pacing back and forth for a half hour! Sit down and do some work or something; you're creeping me out!" Namie sighed drastically. "I find it harder to work when you're distracting me like that."

Izaya walked around his desk and sat in his chair. The events from the previous day were still making him antsy. Why on earth would Shizu-chan ignore him like that? He couldn't even remember one time he entered Ikebukuro without getting chased by the bodyguard. And there he was, walking right beside the man, and was _ignored._ The word burned through Izaya's mind. IGNORED. He had never been so insulted in his entire life! Even from the brute, this was all just too much. He sighed for the sixteenth time and placed his head in his hands, whirling in his chair. His fingers yanked at his dark hair, as if that would give him the answers he wanted.

"Orihara-san," Namie called over in annoyance. Obviously, he was still distracting her.

"Just go home then," he said impatiently, not bothering to look up at her.

"But I need the money of a full day's work," she retorted.

"Fine! I'll pay what is owed to you! Just get out of my apartment!" he barked at her. He glared up at her as she hastily gathered her belongings and left. Izaya was more frazzled than she had ever seen him, and she did _not_ want to be on the receiving end of his wrath. Said frazzled man got up from his chair and resumed his pacing. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was the ulcer of Shizuo's life. He knew this as a fact because he had been told so by the blond man himself. So why? _Why_ was he simply ignored? He needed answers and he needed them quickly.

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><p>Izaya knocked more and more impatiently as his fuse shortened. He knew the man was home, he never left. Finally, he was slamming his fist against the door.<p>

"I'm coming already! Geez!" came a muffled voice from the other side. The door opened a little. "Izaya?" Shinra sounded surprised. Izaya had no time to waste, and strode past Shinra without invitation. He flung himself on the couch and waited. The doctor came around the couch and sat as far away from the informant as he could.

"And what brings this little visit?" Shinra sounded less than enthused. Of course, he was probably still angry about Celty not getting her promised day off. Really. Humans and their grudges.

"I am going to cut to the chase, because my patience is wearing thin. Have you noticed anything wrong with Shizu-chan recently?" Izaya tried not to look as hopeful as he felt. If anyone knew what was wrong, it was bound to be Shinra. As often as Shizuo confided in Celty, surely she shared bit of information with her partner. Sadly, the doctor tilted his head in confusion.

"Shizuo? No, I haven't noticed anything…of course I haven't seen him for a few days. Why? You didn't do anything to him did you?" he eyed skeptically.

Izaya sighed again. Seventeen times now…

"Honestly Shinra. If I was the one who broke him I would be happy! Instead I am left to figure out what the hell is going on, and for once I am at a loss! I have no clue what is wrong with that…monster!"

The doctor waved his hands in front of Izaya's face to try and get him to stop ranting. "Hey! Easy now. What do you mean broken? Shizuo broke another bone?" he asked.

"No, you sad excuse for a doctor! He…ignored me. I was right in front of him, and he just kept walking like I wasn't there! I know he saw me because he spoke to me!" Izaya spat. Honestly, he wasn't sure why exactly he was so angry. He just was. To his annoyance, Shinra laughed. He laughed at the entire, infuriating story.

"Haha! Maybe he finally realized there's no reason to chase you anymore? Maybe he's decided to move past your little game?" his glasses glinted. Shinra could cut to the quick when he put his mind to it. Izaya feigned a hurt expression.

"Right…" he mumbled in his defeated voice. He looked up at the doctor, waiting.

"Ugh, okay. What did Shizuo say to you when he spoke? Did he at least recognize you?"

The information broker thought for a second. "No. He said 'excuse me' like some trained little beast. Then he strode past me and walked away! No 'IZZZAAAAYYYAAAA' or anything!" He saw a flash in Shinra's face. It was one of recognition. "Shinra. Tell me what you know about this. If you do not, I will have to forcibly take the information from you and I really would rather not stoop to such a level."

"I can assure you that it's none of your business. Shizuo's fine. He's been working a lot recently. He was probably half asleep or something. Don't you forget faces when you're tired? I know I do. Once I called Celty 'mom'! I never thought I'd live that one down.." Shinra laughed a little, trying to pass this off as a good-natured story. Pulling one over on Izaya was never an easy task.

Izaya glared at him, saying nothing. In all honesty, he was seething with rage. But, he felt that beating the information from Shinra wouldn't be the greatest course of action. For one, Shinra wouldn't talk anyway. For another, Celty would stop transporting for him. So, he gave his most convincing grin to the spectacled man.

"Ah, yes. I hadn't taken Shizu-chan's work schedule into consideration. He was probably just tired. I'm sure we'll have our little chase tomorrow, ne? Till next time, Shinra." He stood from his resting place and opened the door.

Standing in the hallway, he began to think about what he was just told. With his profession, he had learned to put two and two together. Sadly, he didn't have enough pieces of this puzzle to know the answer entirely, but here's what he did know:

1. Shizuo wasn't being himself.

2. Shinra knew why.

3. ….Well, there wasn't a three as of yet. The thin man grumbled to himself, getting ready to leave, when he heard it. Shinra was talking to someone through the door. Was Celty in there? No, she had jobs today. Curious, Izaya put his ear to the door and listened to the exasperated doctor.

"Shizuo, you said you were still taking your meds! I know that's a lie when even _Izaya_ knows there's something wrong with you! He was just here pumping me for information about you! If you're out, you need to come see me. Don't let this go too far, Shizuo! Call me back as soon as you're able to, it's urgent. Bye." There was the distinct click of a phone being flipped closed.

If anything, Izaya only had more questions than answers. Not ever being one to give up, he strolled out of the building and headed toward the city. If he couldn't get the information he needed from others, he would get it from the source itself.

"I'm coming to see you Shizu-chan~. You'd better not stand me up."


	3. Confrontation

**Confrontation**

Izaya walked through the crowded streets of the city, looking for the familiar building. He wasn't sure of a plan as of yet. He knew well enough, from past experiences with the blond, that he wasn't going to get his questions answered easily. Still, he half walked, half ran to the stubborn man's apartment, hoping to get the answers he craved.

He stood outside the familiar door, looking at his feet. What was he so afraid of? He had been here (also uninvited) tons of times. But now…what if Shinra had been right? What if the brute really didn't want to play their little games anymore? Never one to give in to his fear, Izaya tried the knob. It…was locked? Annoyed, the informant reached for a bobby pin he had in his pocket. Since when did the fortissimo of Ikebukuro lock his door? He inserted the pin, and moved it around until he heard a small _click._ Gently, he pushed open the door, and observed the clean apartment. Wait…clean? _Shizuo? _Baffled, he opened the door the rest of the way and shamelessly strode in.

"Shizu-chaaaaaannnnnn!" he giggled as he twirled around. Receiving no response, he walked through the cramped apartment. Eventually, he made his way to the bedroom, and poked his head inside.

There was no one there. He had been stood up after all. However, he chose to take this as an opportunity rather than a failure. If Shizuo wasn't here, he could look around as much as he pleased. Perhaps that would give him the answers he needed.

He strode over to a neatly organized desk and tried to find any papers that could be useful. There was Kasuka's latest movie poster (How sweet, Shizu-chan!). Red eyes narrowed as he continued to look. A list of people who still owed money to Tom, a copy of a movie ticket stub for Kasuka's last movie premiere, a recipe for strawberry cake-ultra sweet. (Really, Shizuo?). Izaya grimaced at the thought.

He turned his attention toward the bed. It was neatly tucked in the corners, the pillows were an exact distance from each other, and propped at just the right angle. That was a dead giveaway that Shizuo did NOT make that bed up himself. Having been here before, the sly informant had actually witnessed the process that Shizuo considered to be making up the bed. The blond man would gather up his sheets and comforter and throw them in a large pile on top of his pillows. It was then that he had noticed Izaya's presence, and the chase ensued. But still. That was _not_ how the brute made his bed.

He paused when he heard the distinct ring of a telephone. Looking all over, he found it lying on the counter. Had the brute intentionally left it there or just forgotten? The raven picked it up and flipped it open. _1 new voicemail! _Probably from Shinra. _I new text message! _It said directly under the voicemail notification. Izaya frowned. Who would text the monster? Opening the unread message, he found it was from Tom. It read:

_ Shizuo- don't come in to work today. Sorry for such short notice but the clients I have lined up have already paid. Therefore, I have no use for that strength of yours! Save it for another day. Also, call that Shinra friend of yours. He won't leave me alone. -Tom._

"Hmm…very interesting indeed Shizu-chan. If you're not at work then where would you go?" Izaya mumbled to himself.

He put the phone back where he had found it, and continued his sweep of the small living space. Eventually, he found himself in front of Shizuo's closet. He found little use in opening that door, because he didn't want to find himself face to face with thirty bartender outfits and matching ties. But, it couldn't be considered a thorough sweep if he didn't check every crevice.

Opening the door, he found…ah yes fourteen bartender outfits. Better than he expected. But there, shoved at the back of the small closet, was a suit. A white suit with a _pink _shirt. Izaya blinked. Behind the suit, there was also a similar outfit to the bartender one, but a little bit different. There was a large, fluffy, white scarf draped across the top of the hanger. Interesting… He looked closer. Behind the first two odd outfits, there was yet another. A blue kimono. Immensely confused, he tried to imagine seeing the brute in any of these outfits. He couldn't.

He was pacing yet again. Though not in the comfort of his own home. He was actually pacing in the monster's apartment. He was holding a pair of pink headphones he had found in the top dresser drawer. The small informant was vaguely aware of his predicament. If Shizuo returned, he would have a hard time explaining this. But, he felt that if he left, he would never get his answers.

What exactly was he planning on saying to the larger man? _"Stop ignoring me and tell me why you have dress up clothes!"_ didn't seem like it would do him too much good.

If this was anyone else, he would take those outfits, post blogs and photoshop pictures, and ruin the man's life. But this was Shizu-chan. A man who barely owned a wardrobe all of a sudden had pink clothes? A man who couldn't even remember to shower daily now had a spotless, organized apartment? Izaya couldn't possibly use this new dirt on the blond until he himself knew what was going on. He smirked at the idea of the blackmail he could get. Maybe he could destroy the man's ego and make him be Namie's assistant? Heh, that would be a sight to see. He turned abruptly as he heard the door click. Well, here he was. Truth time. It was time to see what was wrong with his favorite toy.

"Damn, I don't remember locking this door…" came the gruff voice of the blond as he entered. He had walked all the way across the city just to discover that Tom didn't need him._ "I sent you a message!"_ the dreadlocked man had said earnestly. Well, that would've been great if he hadn't forgotten his phone.

Trudging through his living space, he went to the counter. His phone said he had a voicemail, but no new text messages. Maybe Tom had forgotten to send it. He listened to his voicemail. It sounded panicked.

"Honestly Shinra, you treat me as though I were a child," he grit through his teeth as he dialed the spectacled man's number, waiting.

"_Shizuo! It's about damn time! Do you have any idea what I've been thinking? Where have you been?"_

"Calm down, would ya? I had a little mix up today and forgot my phone. It's cause my place is so clean. I can't find anything," he replied coolly.

"_You cleaned up? Really? That's hard to believe," _said Shinra, surprised.

"_I _didn't clean. You know I don't clean. I can't find anything when he organizes things! It pisses me off!" he half shouted. His day was turning to shit, and he was less than pleased.

Izaya, who was in the bedroom, strained to hear the entire conversation. _He? _Was Shizuo's brother cleaning for him? How…lazy. Really Shizu-chan how hard is it to sweep a floor? He stopped his thoughts as he heard the conversation pick back up.

"Shinra, I told you. I ran out of medication and it just slipped my mind. I'm not planning on letting them take over my whole life," came Shizuo's voice.

"_You come see me now! It's not like you have anything better to do, since you're off. Avoid Izaya though. He knows that there's something up with you."_

"About that, did I say something to the flea? I don't remember seeing him since the day before yesterday… How much do you think he knows?" his voice sounded nervous.

"Ah, nervous about little old me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya grinned to himself, listening more.

"_Not too much. He was freaked out though. You should've seen him, Shizuo! He looked like a cat that fell in water! You know how he gets when he can't predict the next move. Such a control freak,_" came Shinra's bubbly reply. Shizuo laughed at that.

The informant's eyes narrowed. He could only hear Shizuo's part of the conversation, but he was willing to bet Shinra just insulted him. Shizuo didn't laugh at much else.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm on my way. I'll try to avoid the flea. Yeah….okay, bye." Shizuo turned and prepared to head for the door. Instead, he came face to face with crimson eyes glistening back at him.

"I-Izaya- wha..?" he started to say, but was cut off.

"You've denied me my fun for days now, and you're keeping secrets from me! I want my answers, dear Shizu-chan. It's the least you could do after standing me up~."

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><p><em> Uwah! Chapter 3 and I'm still writing entirely on impulse! I have a slight idea of what I'm going to do with the story, but I never plan anything out. So, We'll learn together. Thanks so much for reading! Review if you want virtual love!<em>

_~Sachi_


	4. Interrogation

**Interrogation**

Shizuo looked at the smaller man in awe, and then his eyes drifted to what was in the flea's hands. A pair of pink headphones.

"Y-you went through my things? How long have you been here?" he started forward, but was cut off by Izaya.

"Ah, ah, ah dear Shizu-chan. I will be the one asking the questions here. But I won't be unreasonable. So, let's start small shall we? Who cleaned this apartment?"

It was a simple question. So why didn't the brute answer it right away? Izaya watched the man's dark eyes drift down to the floor, obviously trying to think of a lie.

"My brother. He couldn't stand the mess," Shizuo said dryly.

"And when was your brother here? If I remember correctly, he's doing a film shoot out at sea at the moment. Some movie about a killer sea creature, ne? I've heard all about it from my sisters. If you're going to lie to someone, make sure it's not to someone who lies for a living," the Izaya replied. This was a different feeling for him entirely. Never had he felt that he held so much power over the beast. The question was, _why_? Why was the blonde mumbling and stuttering like a child who had been caught breaking the rules? He stepped closer.

"I think it's something else, Shizu-chan. I think it's something _big_. Something that you've been hiding, not only from me, but from everyone. And I think you're absolutely terrified of me finding out what it is. Why else wouldn't you have attacked by now? You're glued to the spot you're standing on, paralyzed that I'm going to put two and two together. Is that about right? Shizu-chan~?" as he was talking, the informant grew ever closer to the blond.

Now, he was standing directly in front of the taller man. He reached his hands up, and placed the pink headphones on the brute's ears. Instantly, he noticed the tension between the two of them. It felt like he wanted to pull the man closer, and push him away at the same time. He wondered idly if Shizuo felt it too.

"What the hell are you doing, flea?" Shizuo grumbled. But there wasn't the normal hint of malice behind his words. Izaya giggled.

"Shizu-chan looks so cute! Those headphones suit you! I know, they were a present right? A gift from a girl? Ooooh, wait, I know! You found them and couldn't resist keeping them? Ne, I could guess all day but I feel like that won't bring me any closer to the answer. Why do you have these?" his red eyes looked up innocently.

"None of your damn business! Just because you snuck into my place doesn't mean I have to answer your questions! Now get the hell out, I have to go to Shinra's!" With that, the tall man picked Izaya up by the front of his jacket, and carried him roughly to the hallway. Izaya noticed he didn't lock his door.

"Shizu-chan."

"_What?_" Shizuo grit his teeth in annoyance.

"You forgot your phone."

"…Son of a bitch!"

* * *

><p>Shinra had been sitting with Celty, trying to explain exactly how photosynthesis was important to plants. In all honesty, the Dullahan had stopped listening ages ago, but she acted interested just to humor the passionate man. She wasn't even sure how they ended up on this topic. All she said was that roses were pretty. It was then that they both heard two loud bangs at the front door. Shizuo's distinct knock. Shinra jumped from the couch and ran toward the entrance to his apartment. He stopped when he heard the distinct voices of Shizuo and someone else arguing.<p>

"Why the hell don't you go bother someone else?" Then the door swung open, almost knocking Shinra to the floor.

There, standing beside a fuming Shizuo, was a grinning Izaya. The smaller man walked through the apartment first, as if this were an everyday occurrence. He twirled on his feet, and stood in front of the television set, waiting.

"Er- Izaya! What a…nice surprise. But I have to speak with Shizuo about something very important and-"

"I know exactly what you intend to speak with him about, Shinra, and I find myself curious to know all the details of this little secret. I have tried being patient, but now I feel as long as I shadow him, I'll find out everything eventually," Izaya huffed, crossing his arms in defiance. "I'm tired of being left out of this game. I want to play, too!"

"It's not a _game _Izaya. You're acting like a child. Again," Shinra added in afterthought. "If it concerned you, then you would know by now." The doctor glanced over at Shizuo, who was being alarmingly quiet. He had his hands in his pockets, and a scowl on his face, but he wasn't trying to throw the informant out the window. For the two of them, this was immense progress. Shinra looked between the two men.

"Did I miss something?" he motioned between them. "It seems like you two have become more docile toward each other."

"Eh? Don't say such stupid things, Shinra. Shizu-chan has simply given up on trying to get rid of me, since his last attempt didn't go too well," Izaya grinned.

"Shut the fuck up, louse! If you hadn't dodged me, that building would still be standing!" Shizuo argued back. Shinra sighed, _this _was more like them.

"Izaya, I know how stubborn you are. But really, this is my place, and I'm talking to Shizuo alone. And, since you can't be trusted…Celty?" At this, the Dullahan rose from her place on the couch and wrapped her shadows around the informant, holding him securely in place.

"Shinra! This is playing unfair!" Izaya whined. Shizuo grinned at the situation, and followed Shinra to the back, effectively cutting off the informant's line of sight. Izaya groaned and stopped trying to escape the shadows wrapped around him.

They sat in the quiet room for a few minutes. Finally, Celty showed Izaya her PDA.

[_Why do you even care what's wrong with Shizuo?_] the message read.

"Dear Celty, I only want to know why my favorite toy is broken. That's all. I have no intention of using the information to hurt the monster. I just want my answers. Nothing more," he replied smoothly. He gauged her reaction.

[_Yeah right. I don't believe that anymore than you do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think this could benefit you in some way._] said the newest message.

Izaya chuckled. She read him like a book. Looking away, he eyed the door that the doctor and the monster had hidden themselves behind. That was where all his answers were. Frowning slightly, he tried to think of his next move. He blinked when the door clicked. That was fast!

"Shizuo, you're being unreasonable!" the doctor yelled after Shizuo as he stormed out of the room. He struggled to keep up with the long strides of the taller man.

"No, YOU are. And I'm leaving now! Call me back when you have an idea that doesn't include more medication!" The brute slammed the door behind him and left the apartment building entirely.

There was silence in the room as Shinra looked guiltily at the door. He turned to see Izaya looking up at him, his crimson eyes full of questions.

"Let him go now, Celty. And no, I'm not answering anything." The spectacled man left the room as well, turning to go back into the room he and Shizuo had just left.

Celty did as she was told, and unwrapped her shadows. Izaya stood and stretched, feigning stiffness. As he did so, he was able to get a quick peek inside the room. There were files strewn all over it. Files that probably had answers in them. He smiled, and bid the two a farewell. His mood much brighter since he knew his next move.

* * *

><p>Shinra's apartment was easy enough to break into. Maybe later he'd tell the doctor to upgrade his security. An underground worker needed more protection. He walked quietly through the darkness, wondering idly if Celty even slept. He hoped so. Tip toeing to the same door from earlier, he crept in. He took out his flashlight and began to sift through the mess of files. Shinra needed to organize. Maybe he'd send Namie to help. Finally, he found the ones on Shizuo. There was more than one. Grabbing three files, Izaya made his way to the exit.<p>

The plan was to copy them, and bring the originals back so Shinra would never notice. He would even fling them back in the room so the underground doctor would think no one had been there all night. Sometimes his genius surprised even him.

* * *

><p>Closing the door to his own apartment, Izaya went to make some coffee. Normally he didn't like to drink so much caffeine so late, but he had a feeling he'd be pouring over these files all night.<p>

He had successfully created copies, and put the originals back without being noticed. While the coffee was brewing, he opened one of the files. He blinked in confusion when he saw more names in them. Tsugaru? That's not who he wanted to learn about.

There were even more names behind the massive file that was "Tsugaru". He sighed in annoyance. Maybe he had grabbed the wrong files. Then, he noticed Shinra's frazzled handwriting. The words made him freeze.

_ Multiple Personality Disorder. _

"No way…"


	5. Disorder

_Finally! We get to the main point of this little story! From here on, things will pick up! I'm excited to have the characters interact more with each other. I feel like I write dialogue better than I do anything else… :/_

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><p><strong>Disorder<strong>

Izaya barely noticed that his coffee was finished brewing. His eyes were glued to the file he had just opened. Those few words were defying everything he ever thought he knew about Shizuo Heiwajima. Just three, simple, little words: _Multiple Personality Disorder._

Shinra had written them down on the very first page. Below, there was a great deal about "Tsugaru". He was jerked out of his stupor when he realized Tsugaru must be the name of one of Shizuo's other personalities.

Standing, he shuffled to the coffee machine to pour himself a mug. He was glad for his instincts- he very well would be up all night now. Returning to the opened file, he began to skim the pages of Shinra's drabble.

_ Tsugaru is the first personality Shizuo ever came into contact with. Shizuo refers to him as his better self. Tsugaru does not pick fights, nor does he get angry. He possesses the same strength as Shizuo, but has learned to control it. When Shizuo is in this state, nothing makes him angry. He is serene and able to control his temper, just like Shizuo's always wished he himself could do._

The remaining pages in this file were based on the same prospect. They just added in more detail of what Tsugaru was like, and how he differed from the brute. Izaya found himself trying to remember if Shizuo had ever been _calm _around him. He couldn't think of a single time. He must not have ever met Tsugaru. Carmine eyes narrowed as they drifted to the next file. How long had Shizuo been hiding this? Sighing, he picked up the next. It was about a personality named "Delic."

_ Delic is another of Shizuo's personalities. He is very self confident and sometimes cocky. Compared to the others, Delic is a bit of a lecher. He flirts often, and says things that are usually very outlandish and inappropriate. When in this state, Shizuo will become outspoken, but not necessarily rude. He has a way with words that more often than not lead away from arguments. Shizuo has often said he wished he had that confidence, but could never control his strength enough to flirt so aimlessly. He's too afraid of hurting someone. _

Same as before, the file just went more into the fabrication that was "Delic." By this point, Izaya had become angry. Still, he had one more to read. He picked it up gingerly, as if he thought it would explode. The first page read "Tsukishima" at the top.

_ Tsukishima, or "Tsuki" as Shizuo refers to him, is the last personality. He is the innocent one of the group. Whenever Shizuo is in this state, he often hides his face however he can, too shy to make eye contact. Tsuki is soft spoken, and very forgetful. He gets lost easily, and falls down often. This is the most gentle side of Shizuo anyone could ever hope to see. _

By this point, Izaya had his head in his hands. He was infuriated. _How _had the blonde hidden this from him?

The information broker had Shizuo's medical records, and school records. He had every broken bone, every fracture, every sprain, every damn splinter in his computer! How could this entire disorder be left out of every file?

Huffing angrily, he spun in his chair. It was times like these his childish side came out. Shinra had often teased him in school about this side of him. If he became confused, he would act immature. It had always been that way. But that was just a little quirk to him.

It wasn't like he had three other godforsaken _personalities. _

Letting his childish side take over, he decided to do something drastic. Reason long gone by this point, he acted on impulse as he rose from his swivel chair and headed for the door, barely remembering to switch off the coffee pot before he left.

* * *

><p>Shizuo had had a very horrible day.<p>

Despite being off from work, he had absolutely no time to relax. Shinra was trying to get him to take even more fucking medication. As if the mass of pills he was already prescribed weren't enough. Not to mention his dealing with the flea almost half the day. Why that little parasite was so obsessed with figuring out the mystery was beyond him. It was probably something to do with a lack of information.

If he knew the flea, and he thought he did, then the raven haired man would want every little piece of information on everyone in the city. That was just the kind of dick he was.

Exhaling smoke out of his back door, he wondered if the smaller man would put all of this together. That was really all he fucking needed. To have that louse telling the whole damn world about his disorder. He inhaled more smoke, noting the calming effect it had, before exhaling it at the moonlit sky. Despite the horrible day, he was actually starting to wind down. Then, he heard his front door burst open. Startled, he turned around to face a very pissed off looking Izaya.

In the man's hands were the files Shinra had made. Shizuo looked from the raven, to the jumbles of paper, back to the raven. Judging by the look in those red eyes, he had figured it out.

_Shit. _


	6. Split

_Thank you so much for the reviews, faves, and subscriptions! They really motivate! All who reviewed have received virtual love as promised. Keep them coming for more amore!_

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><p><strong>Split<strong>

Mocha met carmine. Smirk met open mouth. The two men were in a battle of will, yet neither of them said a word.

Izaya simply stood in the open doorway, holding the mass of papers away from himself like they were poisoned. Shizuo had his eyes glued on the intruder, but didn't move to attack. It was a game of cat and mouse. For once in his life, Shizuo found himself to be the mouse. He also found he didn't fucking like it. His expression changed from shock to a scowl, and he broke the silence.

"Where did you get those?" He motioned to the files.

"Shinra's. I must say, he didn't guard them very well. Though, he never guards anything very well now does he? And a secret like _this_-" he held up the papers- "is very much worth protecting."

Izaya found that he loved that look on the taller man's face. It was one of pure, unfiltered anger. The exact same look that drew him to the brute in the first place. Moth to a flame, informant to a bodyguard. It was all the same, ne?

"Well we can't all be as paranoid as you. Normal class people can't afford it. Congrats on snooping successfully. Now get the hell out!" Shizuo had let his rage boil to the max by this point. He didn't care what the smaller man knew. He didn't care about anything after the day he had. He took a step forward, but the raven was brushing past him before he could lunge. Blinking, he turned around to see that the snoop was sitting on his counter, files opened.

"Now, now Shizu-chan. That attitude of yours simply won't do. Perhaps you'd be happier letting me talk to _Tsugaru _instead. I'm certain that dealing with a tamer beast will make my visit a little more friendly~."

Izaya smirked at how Shizuo's eyes widened at the name. Defeated, the blonde man sat down on the couch, looking away from the informant. He placed his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling.

"How much do you know?" he sighed in a voice Izaya had never heard him use.

"About whom? Tsugaru? Delic? Maybe you meant Tsuki? Forgive me, it's just so much to learn that I lose track! Shizu-chan, you have simply thrown me for a loop! Even I never would've guessed you were _this _messed up in that little protozoan head of yours."

Shizuo's head snapped back at the word "protozoan". He had a sneer on his face.

"I get it now. That's what you're mad about. That I had a secret you had no idea about. I'm not as comfortable displaying my insanity as you are, sorry. I prefer to keep things simple and not use my warped mind to mess with people!" Despite the cards being currently out of his favor, the blond man was never one to back into a corner and continue to be kicked. He glared defiantly up at the man on his counter, who was absentmindedly swinging his legs off the edge.

"I'm not interested in that part of it as much as you think. Yes, I was upset that so much was able to be hidden from me, but my long walk over here cleared my head a bit. I realized that there was never anything hidden in the usual sense. There are no psychiatric files on you. You've never been to one. You went to Shinra from day one to keep it all under wraps. So, the only thing I have to be mad about is Shinra keeping secrets. But, if he did everything I expected he wouldn't be as fun. As for you, dear Shizu-chan, I'm simply captivated by this development. In the past two hours, everything I thought I knew about you has been changed. I can't believe you managed to fool me for so long. Bravo!" Izaya clapped mockingly. His feet stopped swinging, and his face turned serious.

"You know Shinra is no psychiatrist. He's not trained in the art of the human mind. Books can't teach you everything about a subject like that. Going to him is simply reckless, Shizu-chan. Why have you not seen a psychiatrist?" His head tilted to the side as he looked at the blond man before him.

"No use in it. I didn't want the word 'crazy' coming up every time someone looked up my medical history. Creepers like you, specifically. Not that it matters now, since you had to snoop like always. So go ahead. Go tell Erika all about this. Then she and Walker can blog, post fliers, hell even start a 'Shizuo's Personality Fan Club' for all I care. Right now I just want to sleep." To emphasize his point, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Izaya laughed above him.

"Silly Shizu-chan. I'm not telling anyone about this," he said as his laughter subsided. Shizuo re-opened his eyes and looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah. And Celty's head is in another dimension dancing all by itself," he mumbled sarcastically. Izaya laughed again.

"Haha, you're too much! Tell me, what would be the use in telling everybody about this now? It's new. When things are new and exciting, people tend to want to know about it all at once. I don't want a mass of fans surrounding you trying to dissect your mind. I want that for myself. So, nobody besides you and I will know." He frowned. "Oh, and Shinra of course."

The brute had that shocked look on his face again. He stood from his spot and faced the man directly, the height difference made up since Izaya sat on the counter top.

"You're being serious? You're not just messing with me again? You're really going to keep this between us?" Despite his best effort, he couldn't quite get that hint of hope out of his tone. Izaya noticed it, but chose not to comment on it.

"You have my word. But I have my conditions of course," the informant smirked.

"Should've guessed it wouldn't be that easy… What the hell do you want?" Shizuo huffed, once again his mood turning pissy.

"As you know, I am a master at many things. I happen to excel _immensely _in the area of psychology, Shizu-chan. I think you should let me see if I can help you."

To say the blond was stunned would be an understatement. Izaya fucking Orihara just offered to be his therapist. "You're serious?" he sputtered.

"But of course. Do you agree with my terms? If not, I can always go post these files online," Izaya challenged. Shizuo's face turned red.

"The MOMENT you break your end of this, I'm done!" he hissed through his teeth. "If you tell anyone else about this…I'll kill you!" he never broke eye contact with those deep pools of red that stared back at him, filled with amusement.

"It's a deal then." Izaya held out his pinky. "This will be our little secret, ne? We help each other out till the end."

Shizuo looked awkwardly at the offending outstretched appendage and scowled.

"I just _know _I'll fucking regret this…" he said raising his arm.

Their little fingers locked around each other, sealing the deal between the enemies.

There was no turning back now.


	7. Upholding

_I can't begin to tell how grateful I am for the subscriptions and review and alert notices for this story! You guys are totally awesome~! It really does help to know that people are enjoying the story, it makes me wanna write more. Keep it up and I'll keep the story coming!_

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><p><strong>Upholding <strong>

Shizuo awoke with a scowl already planted on his face. He really hoped the entire thing was a dream. Izaya being his personal therapist sounded way too creepy...and he knew if word got around he would never get a moments peace. Rolling over, he looked at the time on his digital clock. 11:18 am. Deciding he needed a cigarette, he shuffled out of bed and into the living room. Good, no one was there. As he grabbed the already half empty pack of cancer sticks from the counter, he heard a small noise coming from the direction of his door.

_Oh God, no. _

"Shizu-chan! I thought you'd still be asleep. But, then again, what do I really know about you anyway?" The flea walked through the door backwards, holding an unnatural amount of books and loose papers in his arms. Shizuo raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He strode to the counter, removed a cigarette, and went to the window. Izaya glared after him.

"Those things are horrible for you, you know. They blacken your lungs and shorten your lifespan by more than half. Even a beast like you could get cancer," he spat.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here I wasn't aware that smoking was part of my mental diagnosis," Shizuo said, his voice full of sarcasm. Shamelessly, he lit the cigarette and took a slow drag of it, his face never leaving Izaya's. They glowered at each other. Then, the raven smirked.

"It's your apartment. Do what you will," he said while dropping the books on the floor. Kneeling down, he began to go through the material.

He had decided to start their sessions today, but hadn't had time to brush up on personality disorders before falling asleep the night before. Too many all nighters were taking their toll, and right upon his arrival home he had passed out cold. He could feel a cold stare boring into him. Looking up, he smiled pleasantly at the source of the stare.

"Yes, Shizu-chan? What is it that you want to say?"

There was a "pfffft" of smoke exhaled from the brute's mouth before he responded.

"I wasn't aware you were moving in," he spat, pointing at the mess the other man had brought. Izaya laughed.

"I assure you, I've no intention of calling your little cave my home. I simply need to refresh my knowledge on the subject before I start our session. I can't have myself to blame for messing you up worse, ne?" he gave a slight grin, before returning his attention to a rather large book.

"I thought you said books weren't enough to learn from. That's why Shinra couldn't properly help me or some shit," Shizuo said flatly. There was a sigh from the floor.

"It isn't enough to learn from. I have dealt with people much more mentally ill than you, Shizu-chan. Experience makes for a better therapist. I am trying to decide which approach will be most beneficial to you," Izaya stated calmly. He went from book to book, searching. He was aware that Shizuo's eyes were still on him.

Honestly, this was amusing to Shizuo. He stood watching as the informant tore through the books, eyes getting more and more narrow as he went along. Finally, his face lit up as he found the page he had bookmarked so long ago. He had saved its place because he found the work interesting, but he never thought he would need it. Smirking triumphantly, he began to read, then was interrupted by a laugh from the window.

"You act like a damn kid." was all Shizuo said before grounding out the cigarette in an ashtray. Stretching his arms above his head, he decided to take a shower while Izaya did whatever the fuck he needed to do. It was bound to be a long ass day.

He was aware of how odd the situation was, showering while his nemesis sat directly in the next room, but at the same time he felt no fear. He was upholding his end of the bargain, and for whatever reason, he trusted that the parasite would too. Besides, if Izaya backed out, he could go back to trying to pummel him.

Towel drying his hair, he returned to the living room. He didn't see the informant anywhere, but the mass of books was still in a pile on his floor. He strode to the offending mass, and picked the same large one he had seen Izaya pouring over minutes before. He blinked when it was yanked out of his hand. He turned to face Izaya, who placed the book back in the floor before he raised a mug to his mouth and took a sip. Shizuo blinked.

"You used my coffee maker?" he barked. "Whose place do you think this is?"

The smaller man simply rolled his eyes and continued to drink the warm beverage.

"I made enough for you, too. I just didn't know how you drink it. Now hurry up so we can get started!" he said impatiently. Shizuo huffed, but turned to make himself a cup of the freshly brewed coffee. He poured sugar in the black drink, and then poured milk on top. Mixing it with a spoon, he turned to see a look of disgust planted on the informant's face.

"What?" the blond asked indignantly. Izaya shook his head.

"I thought you were going to drink coffee, not a cup of Diabetes. Anywho, take a seat on the couch. We're going to start with the standard first meeting." He fell back on the brute's couch himself, noting how lumpy it was.

Shizuo sat on the opposite side of him, his face full of displeasure. Izaya took a notepad from his jacket and a pen, then focused all of his attention on the blond man beside him.

"Start talking," he said simply, waiting for the monster to do as he was told. Alas, this _was _Shizuo. Mocha eyes looked down at him questioningly.

"About what?" he said, confused with what he was supposed to talk about. Izaya rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Tell me how all of this happened, you protozoan waste! When precisely did you notice your different personalities? Your files tell me Tsugaru appeared first, but they don't say what age! I need to know _everythin_g if I am to help you." Shizuo stiffened.

"Uh...I guess when I was a kid. It was when Kasuka ate my pudding I was saving. I picked up the fridge and tried to throw it at him, but then I heard a voice in my head telling me to stop. I was so confused, I dropped the fridge and fell, so I really only ended up hurting myself." He watched as the raven wrote this down. Carmine eyes told him to keep going.

"So then every time I lost control I would hear that damn calm voice telling me off. It just started with lectures, but when I really lost control and hurt...someone...that's when he took over for the first time. I remember Kasuka and I got home, and then I lost track of the entire night. When I woke up the next day, my room was organized, and my brother was telling me how weird I acted. Tsugaru's been there ever since. I hear him often, and he's always trying to get me to change. He even has it in his head that you and me could be _friends_." Shizuo said the last part as if if burned his mouth. Izaya stuck the end of his pen to his lips.

"But why did you name him 'Tsugaru'?" Izaya asked. Shizuo laughed.

"I didn't name that pain in the ass! Naming something means you wanna keep it! He named himself. They all did."

The informant absorbed this information as he wrote it down, word for word.

"You didn't like the thought of having a calmer side? One that wasn't such a Neanderthal?" he asked as he finished writing. The bodyguard shrugged.

"I did. But I didn't like that it wasn't me being calm," he said simply. Surprisingly, Izaya knew exactly what he meant.

"You didn't like giving away your control over your own personality, because it made you feel like an inferior being that everyone had to deal with before your better half came and fixed your mistakes." Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah...it made me feel like everyone would be better off with just Tsugaru. But even then, I could deal with it. I was kind of like a yin yang, you know? I came to terms with the fact that I would never be calm if left by myself. But when I admitted that, Delic came in the picture. His voice was like Tsugaru's, but cocky. It alarmed me because he and Tsugaru interacted with each other in my head. They would have conversations, and I could hear every word. The first time he ever took over, I found myself the leader of a group project that I had apparently volunteered for. I didn't remember it at all, but during the presentation the jerk left me to do the talking. Needless to say, my grade wasn't very good. After that, the two of them debated amongst themselves when they needed to intervene in my life. If they felt that I wasn't handling something very well, they would take turns in taking over my body." Izaya stopped writing as the brute finished his little monologue.

"And Tsukishima? When did he enter the picture?" he questioned. Shizuo shook his head.

"Tsuki never said a word. It wasn't till I found myself lost in an alley on the other side of town that I realized there was someone new. He kept apologizing over and over in my head, and Tsugaru and Delic had to lead me back home. They forbade Tsuki from taking over unless I was in a well-populated area where he could ask for directions." Adding this to the notepad, Izaya prompted him again.

"And your brother? Does he know all of this?" The blond shook his head again.

"No. And he never will. Kasuka has enough to worry about. Sure, he knows that I'm different from time to time, but I told my other personalities to be careful around him. He was the main one I was afraid of finding out, and they promised me they would be very careful not to let him find out anything," he said earnestly. "Shinra was the only one to catch on." The informant glanced up at that.

"About that, how did dear little Shinra find out?" Izaya asked.

"You know how he is. He already had an unnatural obsession with finding out what caused my strentgth. So he watched me very closely and eventually questioned me about it. He told me he knew I was lying about nothing being wrong because he noticed that my eyes would sometimes be other colors. I told him mainly just to get him to shut the hell up, but he decided he would cure me and all of that shit. So, I've been going to him for help ever since high school. He started prescribing me pills, and they make all the voices shut up to where it's just me." Shizuo stated. Dark brows furrowed at that.

"But that was good then, ne? You got what you wanted."

"No. When it's just me I'm violent. You know how everyone has different characteristics? I don't. Tsugaru is calm. Delic is confident. Tsuki is gentle. _Shizuo _is a violent monster just like you've always said. I need them to balance me out sometimes, but Shinra doesn't understand that. He wants to put me on even more medication now to try and calm my anger down. I can't make him understand that the more he tries to control my flaws, the more I lose myself. I just need time to-hell, I don't know! Just time to clear my head. I guess I let it go too far though if you met Tsugaru the other day." Shizuo looked at the informant sitting beside him, still writing. Crimson eyes snapped up.

"So that was Tsugaru?" he asked. Shizuo nodded his head. Izaya grinned and wrote that down too. "So I'm guessing Tsugaru is the one who cleaned this apartment, too?" When Shizuo nodded again, Izaya's grin widened.

"This is so interesting, Shizu-chan! And now that we've had this little chat, I think I know exactly what to do to help you," the raven said enthusiastically. The blond frowned.

"How do you intend to do that?" he asked the grinning mad man.

"Ah, ah, ah. I am keeping that information for myself for the time being. When are you off work again?"

"Tomorrow night after seven. Are you coming here again?"

"Indeed I am, Shizu-chan. Tomorrow night we will begin your treatment. I need this time to prepare for it though, so I will take my leave for now." The lithe man stood up and gathered all of his books and files and headed toward the door. He turned to face the man still sitting on the couch.

"Do you feel better?" he asked with his usual smirk on his face. Shizuo's face flushed.

"Fuck no. Why would I feel better after telling you my life story?" Izaya laughed.

"You're a terrible liar, Shizu-chan. See you tomorrow night." With that, the informant left.

Shizuo let his head fall back on the couch. A terrible liar, huh? Seemed about right. He _did_ feel better after telling all of his turmoil he had bottled up for so long. Even more surprising was how well Izaya handled all of the information. If someone had come up to him and said "I hear voices and I can't control my personality", he would've punched them and walked away. Izaya had actually listened to everything he had to say, and seemed to understand where he was coming from.

Maybe the arrangement with the flea wouldn't be that bad.

Standing, he went to fetch his cigarettes. Only, they weren't there. Instead there was a note on the counter.

_ I am a soldier that is protecting your poor, protozoan lungs! If you want to smoke, you'll have to go buy another pack. I'm afraid your other ones are horribly disfigured._

_ ~Izaya_

"IIIIIZZZZAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAA!" could be heard even form Shinjuku.


	8. Solution

_Special thanks to __icywarm__ for being awesome and getting me more people to view my story! And more thanks to all who are reading. Here we go, on with the story!_

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><p><strong>Solution<strong>

Upon his arrival home, the raven threw the books on the floor.

"Namie! Put these up, would you? And when you're done, you may leave. I need my apartment to myself tonight," he grinned at his secretary before heading to the fridge.

He took out a bottle of water and observed the brunette woman as she organized the mess he made. After she was finished, she gave him a wary look.

"I'm really free to leave?" she asked. He nodded and waved her away as he headed to his computer.

He opened the Dollar's chat room and tried to see if anything interesting was being discussed. It wasn't. It was simply more Slasher chat. Exiting out of the chat, he began to work on his newest assignment.

He had already met his clients that morning, so he was free for a while. If Shizuo had to work until seven the next night, that gave him plenty of time to prepare. But now came the hard part. Izaya knew it wasn't exactly the greatest idea, but it seemed the most logical at the moment. But it was entirely dangerous. He honestly had listened to every word the blond man had said.

Taking all of this into consideration, he was able to figure out exactly what Shizuo had do ne that messed up his mental state so bad. He had split himself into seperate people based on what he was feeling. There was no "happy" Shizuo, or at least not to the blond. All Shizuo could ever be was a brute. Of course, Izaya had known the man was a brute all along, but for the other to admit it seemed a bit...sad?

Izaya knew a lot about the human mind, so he knew he would be able to fix everything in due time. He simply had to put Shizuo back together again so they could resume the chase.

The informant headed to his closet, and took out his sewing machine. Ah yes, it was a hobby he had picked up back in high school. But, when one had two sisters who loved having things sewed for them, one would need to learn the practice to shut them up.

He sat the large machine on the floor and sat cross-legged beside it. He took out his notepad, and re-read the entire contents of what he had written down during his little adventure to the monster's cave. Based on this, he needed to sew three outfits. But the personalities had to come first.

Yes, that was his plan. To better serve four seperate people, one needed reinforcements. To put Shizuo back together, he was going to split himself apart. It was reckless, but it was the fastest approach.

Besides, Izaya was too skilled to lose sight of his actual self. Losing control was something humans did. _Gods_ could handle anything. He tried to think of things his new personalities should do. Their characteristics, likes, dislikes...anything to make them seem more real. He remembered what Shizuo had said earlier:

_ "Tsugaru is calm. Delic is confident. Tsuki is gentle. Shizuo is a violent monster..." _

Ah so he had calmness, confidence, and gentleness to work with.

Calm was better when paired with hyper. Confidence seemed like it would go well with someone who thought they were above the confident person. Someone to bring them down, so to speak. Gentle was best when paired with rough. Oh yes, Izaya liked it rough.

So, he set out to work. His devilish grin grew with each time the needle pierced the fabric. Over and over and over again, the steady rhythm of the machine took him far into his thoughts.

He began the risky process of breaking himself apart. His childish side he sometimes showed seemed like it would suffice for the hyper counterpart. This version of himself would be innocent, but with an edge.

There could never be a 100% innocent Izaya.

He began to move the white fabric under the needle, creating this new version of his own self. When it was finished, he decided the white would go well with a pair of pink headphones, similar to the ones that Delic would wear.

Izaya repeated this process two more times, and added the necessary accessories. He stepped back and looked at his creations. There was a smirk on his face. Looking at his clock, he discovered how late it was. He had spent 8 hours on this project. Still grinning, he got ready for bed. He couldn't wait to test his new alternates.

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><p>Izaya found himself in a very interesting predicament. He was face to face with the outfits he had just created, but there were people in them. People who looked just like him. Puzzled, he addressed the men who shared his face.<p>

"What is the meaning of this?" he questioned. The raven with pink eyes answered him in a chipper voice.

"We are here upon your request, Iza-chan! And you can tell us what to do later on so we can help Shizu-Shizu! That's why we were created, isn't it?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes and looked beside the happy man. He stared into a pair of blood-red eyes that were much like his own, but brooding.

"What he said," the raven with the red eyes pointed to the pink eyed male, who nodded enthusiastically. Izaya raised a brow, then looked to the last male with golden eyes.

"Don't look at me with that 'holier than thou' stare, Orihara! I am as real as you and I demand respect!" The man spat. The pink eyed male hushed him by speaking over him.

"Iza-chan, we're as you created! Do you still want our help?" He raised out his arm, his hand waiting to be shook. Izaya furrowed his brows, but this _was _in fact what he had been aiming for when he had sewn these outfits. He raised his own arm, and shook hands with the white and pink clad raven.

Then, everything swirled around and fell to darkness. His eyes snapped open. Alone in his dark room, Izaya wondered what on Earth he had gotten himself into.

* * *

><p>The next day passed without much excitement. Shizuo had followed Tom all around the city, but never had to use his strength. All of the men on the list paid willingly when they saw the brute standing behind Tom. He wondered idly what the flea had planed for him.<p>

He had to admit, it was kind of nice knowing he would have company later. Even if it was just Izaya, it was better than being all alone with his other three selves. He trudged the streets of Ikebukuro toward his place. He checked his watch. 7:15 pm, it read. Walking through his unlocked door, he found the informant sitting on the edge of his couch, a large suitcase on the floor. Shizuo raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell are you already doing here?" he said. Izaya chuckled.

"I'm here waiting for you, as promised Shizu-chan. We're delving into that warped little mind of yours again tonight, ne? Let's get started, shall we?" He opened his suitcase and pulled out his white coat and a pair of pink headphones. He looked up at Shizuo with an expectant look.

"Bring out Tsugaru. I must speak with him," he smiled. Shizuo stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"The hell? Why do you need to-" but he was cut off.

"Now, Shizu-chan! There's a very impatient person who wants to meet him so just stop asking questions and do it! Bring out Tsugaru!" Izaya snapped.

The bodyguard blinked, but slumped his shoulders in defeat. He had given his word that he would let this man help him, and he was going to honor it. He closed his eyes, and let himself go. An immediate wave of calmness washed over him, like waves on the sand. Izaya stood watching with great interest as the brute became a different person.

The taller man's entire body language changed in an instant, his hostile aura turning to one that was much more relaxed. When Shizuo opened his eyes again, Izaya found himself staring into pools of blue.

"You wished to speak with me, Orihara-san?" The calm voice came from Shizuo's mouth, but wasn't Shizuo. The informant was now speaking with Tsugaru.

"Ah, yes. As you probably know, I am taking over the well being of Shizu-chan. However, the issue must be addressed that I cannot help all four of you by myself. Therefore, I have someone here who _really _wants to meet you." With that, the raven closed his eyes. His head tilted to the side, and his brows furrowed in concentration.

Tsugaru observed as Izaya's demeanor changed before him. The smaller man reached down and picked up the white jacket and put it on his body. Then, he snapped the large headphones on his head as he opened his eyes. Tsugaru found himself staring into bright, magenta eyes.

"I am Psyche! I am so pleased to meet you, Tsu-chan! We will be the best of friends, I just know it!" and the raven reached out and grabbed a very confused blond's hand, shaking it forcefully.

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><p><em>See that little button down there? You know you wanna hit it! Who knows, I may post another chapter faster if you do!<em>


	9. Longshot

_silentsakura __had a point...these chapters do need to be a wee bit longer. I'll try to go into as much detail as possible in this chapter and prolong it. On with the story~!_

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><p><strong>Longshot<strong>

Tsugaru stared at the pink clad man in awe. He knew from Shizuo that Izaya planned to help them with this predicament, but _this. _This was pure recklessness.

What had the raven done to himself? No matter how in touch with reality anyone was, once split apart the act of reassembly was no easy task. But this man had done it. Somehow he had figured out how to take himself apart. The blond stared directly into bright pink eyes, searching for any sign of Izaya. There were none. The man before him now was "Psyche" and that was all.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Psyche-san," Tsugaru said, bowing slightly. The hyper male clapped his hands together in glee.

"Tsu-chan, just call me Psyche. And don't be so unfamiliar with me, we're partners now!" he said happily, shoving himself in the blonde's arms. "I want you to think of me as your partner, Tsu-chan." The raven nuzzled his head against the taller man's neck, closing his eyes.

Tsugaru had a look of pure shock on his face. Yes, indeed the informant had gone too far if this personality had nothing to do with the original. He knew from Shizuo that Izaya was never one to let his guard down, especially not with a stranger. But here the smaller man was, his arms around Tsugaru's neck, his head nuzzled in the crook. The normally serene man couldn't help but hold the pink clad male closely in return.

"Tsu-chan? No one has ever called me that before" the blonde said quietly. The man in his arms giggled and relinquished his hold, looking up.

"I think it's cute! Don't you? Cute like Tsu-chan! You must have a cute name to match you!" he said innocently. Tsugaru felt his face heat up. Izaya's alternate personality just called him "cute". He looked down at the floor before speaking.

"I-I suppose it is rather..cute..." he admitted. "You want to be my partner? What do you mean by that?" Psyche looked at him like he was speaking Spanish.

"In therapy of course! I'm assigned to you! Iza-chan made it very clear that I am to help you, same as he is helping Shizu-Shizu. I may be different, but I am still created from Iza-chan. I know just as much about the mind as he does. So, he told me to get started tonight. I'm supposed to get your side of the story, or else I'll be in trouble with Iza-chan and everyone else. I don't want that, especially if Roppi gets mad. He's super scary." The bubbly raven said all of this very fast, barely pausing for breath between words.

Moving very quickly, using the same grace Izaya displayed, he sprinted to the suitcase and pulled out a new pink notebook and a pen. Clicking the pen, he looked up at Tsugaru with wide eyes.

"Tsu-chan, tell me how you came into existance! I think that's what Iza-chan wanted me to start with!" Psyche said. Tsugaru sat on the couch, patting the space beside him. The smaller man gave a "yay!" and rushed to his side, holding the notebook in his lap and resting against the blond's shoulder.

"Ah, that's an interesting story, Psyche. I'm glad you started with that. When Shizuo was younger, he began to have problems controlling his anger. I started out merely as his conscience. I would occasionally pop up and tell him off, but it would go straight through one ear and out the other. But, one day he went too far and hurt a woman he was trying to help. I took over for the first time later that night and observed how easy it was to simply take control. After that, he started interacting with me. There were times that he would ask for my advice, or even relinquish his hold on himself and let me take over. He thinks he's a nuisance to everyone, so he actually begs me to take over sometimes. I don't understand him really," Tsugaru explained. Psyche stopped writing.

"But that's so sad. Did he ever actually tell you he thought that, or are you just estimating?" the raven asked.

"No. He feels that way, I'm certain of it. He thinks of me as his better self. Sometimes I wish I had never taken over, for I'm not meant to exist this way. I want Shizuo to live his own life and forget about me," Tsugaru said softly.

"No! Don't you dare say that! I am so happy that you exist! If you didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now, and I'm having so much fun with you. Don't you like me? I like you, Tsu-chan! I wanna keep helping you." Psyche moved closer with every word he said, if that was possible. He was almost in the blond's lap.

"Of course I like you, Psyche. You're right, if I hadn't taken over that time then I wouldn't have met you. That would be horrible indeed," Tsugaru said earnestly.

There was something about this man that he liked. He knew all about Orihara, Izaya. Knew the dark traits the man possessed. This was obviously all of his innocence made into a separate person. He drew the calm man in, this warm person. He wrapped his arms around the small male's waist, and leaned their foreheads together, acting horribly familiar. Magenta eyes lit up at his words, and thin arms placed themselves back around his neck. Tsugaru relaxed into the position, as if it came naturally for him to hold someone so closely.

"So, we're partners, Tsu-chan? You really like me that much?" Psyche breathed in the blonde's ear as he spoke, sending chills up the taller man's spine.

"Ah, yes. We're whatever you want to be, Psyche. I do like you that much." he replied, nuzzling into the raven's shoulder. Much like a small child would, Psyche placed his lips on the blond's mop of hair, and gave him a gentle kiss.

"I like you more, Tsu-chan." The raven said mischievously. They sat together like that for what seemed like ages. Magenta stared into cerulean, and the two barely blinked for fear of missing one second of the other.

It was all very difficult to explain. They knew the original versions of themselves hated each other, but they knew that once their own eyes met, hatred became impossible. Tsugaru shifted uncomfortably.

"Um, Psyche? I need to move a bit. My legs appear to be asleep," Tsugaru said quietly. Psyche whined in response, and pushed himself closer to the tall man, shifting his weight so he pushed the man over. Tsugaru was now lying flat with his back against the couch. Psyche climbed on top of him and put his head against the blond's chest, listening to the steady heart beat speed up.

"I wanna stay like this with Tsu-chan" Psyche whispered sullenly. "If you had never existed, Iza-chan would've never set me free, and we couldn't be like this at all." Tsugaru noted the slight pout in the raven's voice, and chuckled. He started running his hands through ebony locks, and let his nails scrape the scalp gently in a petting motion. To his surprise, Psyche purred and leaned into the touch.

"Mmmm, Tsu-chan. Keep doing that," the raven said in his breathy voice. The blond complied, and repeated his actions over and over, each time listening intently as the small man made little noises. Eventually, the motions became too much for Psyche, and he found himself lulling off to sleep. He unconsciously buried his face into Tsugaru's chest, breathing deeply at the calm man's scent. He finally let go of his grip on the waking world. He was closely followed by the blond as they both fell asleep. All forms of therapy were forgotten for the two that day.

* * *

><p>The first thing Izaya noticed as he opened his eyes was that the sun was barely up. He didn't remember closing his eyes, or much of anything from the night before.<p>

Apparently he had fallen asleep in his living room all night again. He knew he wasn't in his bed. He noted that his couch wasn't as soft as usual, but it was still comfortable. Then he noted that his couch was _moving. _

Pulling his head back in shock, he looked up at the sleeping face of Shizuo. The blond had his arms around the raven, his right hand buried in dark tresses of the smaller man's hair. Izaya found himself gazing in wonder at the brute's sleeping face. He raised his hand and ran it along Shizuo's cheek. There was a small "nnn" from the larger man, and he leaned his head into the delicate touch. Izaya's eyes widened, and he snapped his hand back like it was burned.

Gently, he unraveled himself from the brute, and pulled his body off the couch. Stretching leisurely, he dug his hands into the pocket of the white coat, and pulled out the pink notepad. He flipped through the sloppy handwriting that belonged to Psyche, and frowned at how easily Tsugaru had said it was to take over Shizuo's body. He began to gather his things and head for the door when he heard a voice.

"_No, don't leave him! I wanna stay here with Tsu-chan!" t_he childish voice of Psyche shouted in his head. Izaya frowned.

"There's no need to stay here with him when we're done for the day. It's time to leave," he hissed in the semi-darkness.

"_Uwah! but that's not faaaaiiiirrrr!" t_he voice shouted loudly again.

"Shut up!" Izaya snarled. "I am in charge of this entire operation, and it's time for you to go back where you came from!" To his relief, the voice silenced itself. It was just him alone with his own thoughts.

He sighed, grateful that he was able to find his way back to his original self. Though it was harder than he thought, it was still simple enough considering how hard Shizuo had said it would be. He tried to remember any shred of the conversation with the sleeping blond. He couldn't. He guessed it had gone well, if Psyche already had an attachment to the male.

"Good, good, good," he whispered to himself as the apartment began to be covered in specks of light from the rising sun. "All going as planned."

"The hell it is!" A gruff voice snarled from the couch. Shizuo had his eyes open, and he snapped up to face the raven man. "What did you do?" Izaya raised a brow.

"Whatever do you mean, Shizu-chan? I seem to have fallen asleep here and I was trying to leave before you woke up. It seems as though that has been foiled though." Shizuo pulled his lips away from his teeth, turning his face into the epitome of rage, as he rose from the couch.

"You split yourself apart? After all I told you about the trouble I've had, you did it anyway? That's fucking crazy! What were you thinking?" he was directly in front of the smaller man, towering over him. Izaya smirked.

"Now, now, Shizu-chan. You never questioned my methods before we began. I am more than capable of handling this on my own, thank you." There was a growl of pure rage from the blond as he lifted Izaya by the front of his shirt, actually lifting his feet off the ground.

"Fuck that! You can't control this! You've gone too far this time, you damned louse! You need to end this now before it gets out of hand," Shizuo said. Izaya was simply unfazed by all of Shizuo's warnings.

"If you're done, I need to be on my way. Surely you can see the benefits of the situation! Four of you, four of me. We all help each other and be done with this all sooner, ne? We can do months of work in weeks! I assure you I am in complete control," he said calmly. The brute remained unconvinced.

"Then who were you just talking to?" Shizuo barked. "Just now, before you knew I was awake. Who were you bitching at to shut up, huh? If they're already taking over you and talking to you all the time then it's only a matter of time before you drive yourself crazy! It took me months to have my disorder progress that far, and you've done it in a single day!" Izaya still had that damn expression on his face like he was humoring a small child. He laughed gently, and removed the hands of the brute from his shirt before he continued to gather his belongings.

"I have clients early today, but I am free tonight again. We need to do another session. I think we need to continue the order in which yours fabricated, and have Delic come out later tonight." He turned to face the flustered Shizuo, who looked like he had so much more he wanted to say. Izaya sighed.

Walking up to the tall man, he brushed his lips against the blond's ear, whispering seductively.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. I'm a big boy, don't worry about me. I've put myself through worse. Pain feels a little good sometimes~."

Shizuo whispered back into the raven's ear, his lips ghosting the lobe.

"Flea...don't drive yourself crazy for me," his voice was so full of turmoil that it angered the informant.

How dare Shizuo become depressed at the thought of him hurting himself? The brute should like the idea! He nipped at the bodyguard's lobe in return, scraping his teeth across the sensitive skin as he gave the ear its deserved punishment.

"I'll see you later tonight, Shizu-chan." He licked the top of Shizuo's ear as he pulled away, noting how the tall man shivered. He saw the slight disappointed look on the brute's face as he turned to leave. He laughed as he walked down the now brightly lit streets of Ikebukuro.

"Always so interesting, Shizu-chan. You never cease to surprise me." Izaya broke out into a skip, going back to Shinjuku as he thought about the list of things he had to do.


	10. Playboy

_I decided to be really nice and post another chapter earlier than planned as a thank you for all who have been so nice to me about this story~! I know how I get when I become obsessed with a story and am left without an update for too long, so true to my word, the more nice reviews I get, the more I will update. This chapter contains mild fanservice. I got an idea when __icywarm__ reviewed that ot would be funny to see Delic flirt with Izaya. On with chapter 10!_

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><p><strong>Playboy<strong>

Izaya stopped by the grocery store after he met with his final client. His day had not gone at all as planned. His first client had no method of pay, and the last one he had just met with had been a bitter man from the past.

Izaya was assigned to find the man's ex-girlfriend, who had fled after his wife threatened to kill her. Find her he did. But the wife had gotten to the information before the man did.

Unfortunately, word had gotten back to him that the jealous wife had indeed fulfilled her promise, and the young girl's body was found earlier. Somehow the ex-client had decided that all of this was the raven's fault, and had caused a scene at the upscale restaraunt he had met the informant in.

Izaya had grown bored, and left abruptly, but not before the man gave him a death threat. Ah well, he'd have to add it to his ever growing list of death threats. No one had given him more than Shizuo.

To give himself a little treat, he went to the seafood section of the rather large store. He was going to get some sushi before he headed into Ikebukuro. Careful to avoid the dead fish eyes on him, he talked to the sales clerk and paid for his purchase. As he excited the fine establishment, his phone vibrated. Pulling the device out of his pocket, he read a message from Celty.

_ [Shinra wants to know if you've seen Shizuo lately. He needs to come get his usual physical.] _That was such a lie. Shinra simply wanted to play with the brute's mind some more. However, that was now his job. Grinning, he sent his reply to the transporter.

_ [I have not. Then again, I haven't been looking for him. If I have the sudden desire to have my neck snapped, I'll let you know when I see him.] _

He closed his phone and looked at the dark road ahead. He loved travelling in the darkest alleys. He could observe his humans and they couldn't even feel his eyes on them. He had always been a creature of the night, and the moon just made him feel so adventurous.

Opening the container of ootoro, he began to eat his precious delicacy. Closing his eyes, he sighed in pure pleasure as it slid down his throat. Number two on his list of favorite things to do. This thought made him frown. How long had it been since he did number three on his list of favorite things? The monster hadn't chased him in days now. He wondered idly if he would experience withdrawals from the lack of adrenaline in his veins.

Psyche had been quiet all day. Obviously, he was well aware that Izaya was in charge. It was his own body they were all using after all. He replayed the conversation he had with Shizuo that morning. It had unnerved him that the monster actually looked afraid for him.

Honestly, if Izaya wasn't worried, why should anyone else be? He supposed it was just one of the blond's quirks he would never quite understand.

Suddenly, he was broken from his thoughts as he heard a pair of shoes clicking on the ground directly behind him. Acting on impulse, he took out a flick blade, and turned to face the man who had just finished threatening him less than an hour ago.

"Issac, if you continue to give off that hostile vibe I will be forced to insert my blade into your skull. I assure you I never miss." Izaya used his most lethal voice. After the day he had, he wasn't leaping at the idea of playing with this imbecile. He just wanted to go to Shizuo's. The large man stepped toward him.

"I can't just forget your face or your involvement in my lover's murder! It's all your fault! I think if I take your life, then balance will be restored!" The delusional man was past reason, and he charged at the informant. Izaya sighed as he threw the blade.

Surprisingly, the man moved fast for his size, and he dodged the missile. Izaya hadn't counted on that, and he was caught off guard without another knife in his hand. Alas, the brute had been right. He was getting sloppy.

He dodged the man's punch, and flipped backwards onto the side of the building, but lost his footing when he looked back and saw a gun gleaming in Issac's hand. He felt his feet touch back on solid ground, and he weighed his options as he stared down the barrel, before locking his carmine eyes onto the wild eyes of Issac.

If he ran, there was always that chance of being shot. The informant had never been shot, but he didn't imagine it felt very good. Then again, he could just fight the man close contact style, but he despised that method.

His technique relied on avoidance of oncoming attacks, and lacked on offense. The man had a animalistic sneer on his face, nothing like the one Shizuo would sometimes wear. Izaya felt annoyed that the idiot even crossed his brain. It was happening much too often lately. Then, he heard a voice, but it wasn't Shizuo's. Nor was it Psyche.

"_This guy is full of shit. He's not going to pull that trigger, he hasn't got the resolve." _

Izaya recognized it instantly as the bored voice of the blood-red eyed man in his dream. Another version of himself he had created. He sighed yet again.

"And you are?" he muttered to himself.

_ "Hachimenroppi. I'm telling you, if you run he'll panic and shoot. Call his bluff." _The voice said this like it was easy. The informant ignored this, and turned his heel in preparation to run.

"_No! What did I just say?" _The voice sounded angry now. Suddenly, Izaya lost control of his feet. He stopped turning, and he walked toward the crazed man, the gun still pointed at his head.

He knew he wasn't in control, so why was he conscious? He knew everything that was happening, he just couldn't stop it. When his mouth moved, it was his voice, but not. It was now the self-loathing voice of Hachimenroppi, and this lethal raven was now in control of his life.

"You want to kill me? Go ahead. You'll be doing me a favor. _Please _kill me, I beg of you," Hachimenroppi said. He was staring up into Issac's eyes, his gaze unwavering. Issac gulped, and subconsciously took a step back. He hadn't expected that. However, nothing could have prepared him for what the informant did next. He opened his mouth slightly and leaned forward, inserting the gun into his own mouth. He looked up with a look of pure longing on his face, his eyes practically screaming, "do it!" Issac was so shocked, he yanked the gun out and turned, running in panic.

"You're fucking crazy, man!" The delusional male said before he disappeared into the blackness. Izaya found he had control over his body again, and also found his legs were shaking. He had just lost control over the entire situation, just like that.

"Crazy, huh? Yes, I believe I'm getting there..." Remembering to have a stern talk with Hachimenroppi later, he ignored the shaking of his body and continued to Shizuo's. The ootoro laid on the ground, forgotten.

* * *

><p>Shizuo was leaning on the counter, drinking milk with a look on his face that was somewhere between worried and angry when Izaya entered his dwelling. Throwing the suitcase in the floor, Izaya put his hands on either side of his head, and tried to catch his breath that he wasn't even aware he was holding. That had been...horrible. Simply horrible. He could never let that happen again.<p>

"Oi. What took you so long? You know it's 7:40 right? You're late." Shizuo's voice snapped him back to reality. He remembered that he couldn't freak out in front of this man, and he had to keep it together.

"Ah, I had a late meeting. Anyway, dear Shizu-chan, were you worried for me?" Izaya smirked, gauging the forced look of indifference on the brute's face.

"Fuck no. I was hoping you wouldn't show so we could forget this whole stupid thing," The blond said. His gaze never met the red eyed man's, a sure sign of lying.

"Well, I'm here. So, let's get started. Same as last night, Shizu-chan. When I give the say-so, you let yourself go. This time I want you to bring out Delic. It's his turn to meet his new therapist!" Izaya said with false enthusiasm. Shizuo looked at him sternly.

"No matter what I say, you're still going to do this aren't you? You're really destroying your mind..."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "_Now,_ Shizu-chan." He said simply. It was much like before, the transformation. Only now, the demeanor was one of pure cockiness. The posture of the blond transformed, and his head was held high. His eyes turned pink, the same shade as Psyche's. Delic grinned impishly at the raven as he laid eyes on him.

"_Izaya Orihara~,_" he purred. You have no idea how long I've waited to talk to you." Izaya smirked up at this playboy.

"Mutual, I'm sure. Unfortunately, it's not me you'll be talking to. You've heard from Tsugaru and Shizuo, I'm assuming?" Izaya asked. Delic laughed.

"Haha, yeah I've talked to them. Shizuo seems to think you're in over your head, ya know. I'd say judging by the look of uncertainty on your face, he's right. But, I'm not going to waste time trying to explain logic to you. I've listened to your's and Shizuo's arguments for years, and I know how you are. So, bring out my new play mate!"

"You're a smart one indeed, Delic." Izaya licked his own lips before he continued. "I'm glad I met you~." The look on Delic's face changed to a predatory one.

"If you don't stop with the seductive voice, I'll fuck you right here." The blond growled. Izaya blinked, his face growing red. Then he recovered and he laughed merrily.

"Oh, he should have fun with you indeed!" The informant laughed, then began the process of bringing out the last of his personalities to take take control. The difference was, now he was willing it to happen. Control made all the difference.

He opened the same suitcase as the night before, but did not pull out the same clothes. Instead, he pulled out some very elegant clothes, defined by a yellow-gold cape. A crown was placed on his head, and when his eyes opened, they were a shade of golden lava. The blond watched this little display curiously, his smile widening as he observed his new playmate's demeanor. This would indeed be fun. The raven looked at him with a look of distaste.

"You are Delic?" he questioned, an air of self- importance about him. Delic nodded.

"And you are?' The blonde asked.

"Don't address me so leisurely, commoner! I am Hibiya, but you will call me Hibiya-_sama." _The raven put extra emphasis on the 'sama', as if to say he was in charge. Delic laughed.

"Your crown is too cute. You're like a mini-prince. Perhaps I'll call you _Chibiya," _he said. Hibiya flushed.

"You'll do no such thing!" he spat at the offending man, who laughed again.

"Really, you're too cute! Chibiya it is then. You're my therapist, correct?" The blond asked shamelessly, no hint of apology in his voice. Hibiya growled, but nodded at the question. Delic grinned and moved in closer.

"Good. Help me, I'm so troubled. Dealing with everything is so..._hard,_" he said against the Hibiya's forehead. He felt it heat up against his own skin, and he chuckled.

"S-so vulgar," the raven spat, turning his head away. His face was humorously red. "Yes, I am the one assigned to you. So tell me your worthless life story." Delic's predatory look returned.

"I have conditions," he said simply. Hibiya sighed loudly.

"_What?_" He said viciously. Delic chose to ignore the venom in the smaller male's voice and continued with his terms.

"When I speak about my background with you, you must sit in my lap. And if I have some sort of psychological break through, you have to kiss me."

"WHAT?" Hibiya yelped like Delic had just threatened to yank off his face and paste it to a wall. "THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!"

"Then no therapy for us. I'm afraid you'll have to explain to all of our personalities about how selfish you are and how because of you we won't help Shizuo," Delic grinned impishly. Hibiya looked at the floor, brooding.

"Okay, okay! But you don't put a finger on me! I'll sit in your lap only on that condition!" Delic nodded at this, and flopped down on the couch patting his lap. Hibiya flushed yet again, but he did as he promised. He took out an empty notepad that was to be dedicated to only Delic, just as Psyche had for Tsugaru and Izaya had for Shizuo.

"Start your perverse tale, plebeian," he spat, refusing to turn and look at the infuriating man. Delic chuckled.

"After Tsugaru took over for Shizuo for certain things, I began to notice that Shizuo's self confidence was severely lacking. So, I volunteered him to lead a group project in school. Something simple, ya know? But as soon as I relinquished my hold, he gave up on even trying to lead. He was too embarrassed. After that, Tsugaru and I decided amongst ourselves-"

"_Delic,"_ Hibiya interrupted him, "move your hands!" Indeed, the blond's hands had placed themselves on the raven's thighs, and were massaging them accordingly. Delic grinned.

"I am moving them," he said simply. "Now shut up, I'm telling you my story. _Rude. _Anyway, as I was saying, we decided amongst ourselves that we would take over whenever we felt that Shizuo wasn't handling something well enough. I believe I was created to help that man get laid, not like it's happened yet. Ugh, how it hasn't happened yet..." His hands moved a little further up the raven's thighs. Hibiya tried to get away, in vain. The blond had him held tightly.

"D-Delic...please stop..." Hibiya mentally slapped himself for letting his voice sound like that. The imp continued his ministrations, and he spoke in a voice that made the prince melt.

"Mmm, no. I rather like this, don't you?" To emphasize, he slid one finger into the waistband of Hibiya's pants. The poor raven felt his mind slip away as his body grew hot.

"Ha-ahhh st-stop..." his voice no longer held any authority, it was too breathy. Delic moaned against his ear.

"That's hot," he whispered. "Your voice, I mean. Why won't you look at me?"

Hibiya shook his head with the last bit of sanity he could muster. He felt one of Delic's hands reach his jaw, and forcefully turn his head. Molten gold met lust-darkened magenta. For a second...Hibiya forgot why it would be bad to give into this man. When it felt so...so good.

"Heh, I think I just had a breakthrough. My life has meaning because I get to hold you like this. Do you remember what happens when I have a breakthrough?" The lecher asked.

Hibiya honestly couldn't remember anything. He shook his head, and watched Delic move their faces closer together. When the gap closed, Hibiya felt himself moan into the kiss. The blond was licking his lips trying to get him to play his little game. Hibiya refused entrance, but whimpered when his bottom lip was bitten. He felt the intrusion of Delic's tongue in his mouth, and was unable to stop his own muscle from wrapping around the other man's.

The pink eyed man still had his hands on the smaller man's thighs, and a finger hooked in the waistband. Hibiya felt the finger try to plunge in lower, as the other hand moved to undo his shirt. That was finally when the prince's mind came back. He yanked the pervert's hands away and kissed him only for a second more, before he removed himself from the man's lap.

He stumbled away from the couch and looked over his shoulder at the man he had just heatedly made out with. Delic's lips were swollen, and his heavy lidded eyes were dark with lust. He closed his eyes in bliss as he licked his lips and tasted Hibiya's flavor mixed in his mouth.

The prince actually moaned a little at the vulgar display, before he finished writing down the part of the conversation that wasn't horribly inappropriate. He hurriedly gathered his things, and made a dash for the door. As he tried to grab the handle, and open the door just a little, a hand reached out and slammed it shut. Hibiya turned to look at Delic, whose face was close to his again. Their breath mingled together.

"Not just yet, Chibiya," Delic said, connecting their lips again. This time, Hibiya opened his mouth as soon as the connection was made. His thin arms pulled the man closer to himself as he felt himself being shoved into the door. His body was pushed flush against the blond's, and he unconsciously tried to get closer by moving his hips toward the other man's. This sparked a friction that had both men moaning in unison, against the other's lips.

Delic repeated the motion, effectively scrambling the prince's mind. They were rubbing against each other faster and faster. Hibiya felt himself getting close to the edge but he didn't care. As he felt sweet release getting closer, he heard Izaya in his head.

"_Get the hell out of there NOW!" _The infuriated raven shouted in his head. This snapped Hibiya back into reality, and he once again pushed Delic away before either of them were ready. Golden eyes were boring into pink again, and as Hibiya gathered his things from the floor he pushed his lips against the taller man's for one second more.

"Goodbye, Delic." he mumbled. The blond caressed his cheek.

"Dream of me tonight, Chibiya. I know I'll dream of you," he winked. Then Hibiya was gone into the darkness of the night, left to the mercy of a pissed off Izaya and a dire need of a cold shower.


	11. Dealing

_Haha, the reviews on the previous chapter made me laugh! I was worried I wouldn't be able to write Delic and Hibiya's characters very well, because I've never worked with them before. I'm excited for this chapter, because it's going to contain a lot of Roppi. He's my favorite Izaya alternate, and him with Tsuki is just too cute. Of course, on the alternates quiz I got Psyche. It's funny, because one of my best friends got Delic. So now we're always like, "We're so psychedelic!" Lol, anyway in this chapter we'll see how the two enemies deal with the aftermath of their other personalitie's little lust fest. On with the story! :D_

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><p><strong>Dealing<strong>

Izaya slammed his door open and threw his belongings on the floor. He ripped off the golden crown and cape, throwing them in rage as he ripped off the rest of his clothes. He stepped into his shower, opening his mouth as the water poured over him. He gargled, trying to get Shizuo's taste out his his mouth.

He looked down to see he was still shaking. That had been too close. Another second and he would've been able to say he had had sex with the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, even if it wasn't really them. He leaned his head against the tiles and closed his eyes.

"_I'm sorry Orihara...It won't happen again." _Hibiya's voice said quietly in his head. Izaya sighed.

"No. I just have to watch you more closely around Delic. I knew he was a sex fiend but I didn't think you would be stupid enough to go along with it" he snarled.

_ "I didn't intend on going along with it! Things just got out of hand! Do you think I'm proud of what I did? I'm not. I hate giving up control of myself just as bad as you! I'm a part of you, after all. I just...can't get swept away like that again. That commoner has strange affect on me. He's nothing like the original," _Hibiya explained.

"Tch. Yeah, I'll give you that one. They are entirely different, just like you and I are entirely different. Never would I have ended up in a dry hump fest with Shizu-chan. If this happens again you'll be forbidden to come out at all. I will send you back where you came from and just talk to Delic myself." Then a different voice spoke up.

_ "But Iza-chan, I like Tsu-chan. Just as Hibi-chan likes Deli-chan. If Tsu-chan wanted to kiss me I'd let him," _Psyche joined the conversation. Izaya put his fist against the tiles forcefully, bruising his knuckles in the process.

"No! No, no, no. There will be none of that anymore! You're supposed to be learning about their backgrounds, not letting them shove their tongues down your throats! You are _forbidden _from letting yourselves get feelings for those monsters! I will let it slide this time but no more!" Izaya hissed. The voices in his head grew louder.

_ "That's ridiculous! You may be the original but you're not the boss! I can do what I want, I don't need your permission to take over! If I want to kiss Delic then I will! We are separate beings from you that you created, so let us live our own lives! You're being immature," _Hibiya stated smugly. It didn't take long for Psyche to enter again.

_ "Yeah, what Hibi-chan said! I like Tsu-chan and I don't see how that affects you and Shizu-Shizu. We're different from you. If Shizu-Shizu's personalities like us then why does it matter to you?"_

_ "Because he likes Shizuo," _Hachimenroppi's voice stated bluntly. Izaya's eyes widened at the accusation.

"I do not like that monster! I just don't like the fact that its our bodies you are using to violate each other. I'm sure Shizu-chan feels the same way!" he defended himself.

_ "If you hated him like you say, you would let him suffer with his disorder alone. Instead you have split yourself up to match him so that you could be with him no matter who he was. You know this to be true. You're arguing with yourself in a shower for crying out loud. Face it Izaya, you've driven yourself insane because you like Shizuo. Not to mention your other personalities grew to like his kind of quickly, don't you think? Where do you think that comes from?" _Izaya grit his teeth.

"I don't have to explain myself to you. Just listen to me when I say that I don't want to have my body violated by that protozoan's. The rest of this conversation is over," he growled.

He shut off the water and got a towel as he entered his room. He was looking for something to wear to bed, and he decided on a pair of gray sweatpants. Crawling under his duvet, he ran his hands through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts.

Maybe the brute had a point when he said there was no going back. Despite Izaya's threats, he knew he wouldn't be able to send his other selves away. They were a part of him now. As he closed his eyes, he could feel the blond's hands on his body again. Snapping his eyes back open, his face heated up. In his mind, he had just pictured Shizuo, not Delic. Groaning, he buried his face in his pillow.

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><p>A few days passed before Izaya thought about what his next move in therapy would be. Hachimenroppi needed to consult with Tsukishima before they could do anything. But he was afraid of this concept.<p>

If the two liked each other, what did that say about Shizuo and himself? If all of their alternates were...attracted to each other... The informant groaned again. He didn't want to think about this topic anymore. He was going through the files on his computer on Issac. He felt that he needed to give the man some sort of punishment for trying to jump him the other night.

He hadn't seen or heard from the brute in days. He wondered if he was as ashamed of Delic as he was in Hibiya. He wondered if Tsugaru had told him that he liked Psyche. He wondered if the Shizuo was okay by himself with no medication or therapy. He wondered... His thoughts were abrupted by a knock at his door. Sighing, he went to let the person in, thinking it was probably Namie. Sometimes she would forget things and have to come back. he found himself face to face with eyes the same shade as coffee.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked like he thought it was a dream. The monster raised a brow.

"I was wondering where my therapist went for the past couple of days. Been here talking to yourself all this time, flea?" Shizuo replied. He stepped inside the large apartment, past the informant. He looked around before he whistled.

"Must pay well to ruin people's lives for a living," he said. "I could never afford this with my salary." Izaya smirked.

"Shizu-chan, I really don't have time tonight for a session. Tell Tsukishima we will meet another-"

"I came here to see you," Shizuo interrupted him. Izaya felt his face heat up.

"To...see me?" he repeated. The blond nodded.

"No one has seen you around. I thought...maybe that you wanted company that wasn't the voices in your head. God knows I need someone else to talk to, even if it's just you."

"How sweet, Shizu-chan. I'm not going to be very entertaining I'm afraid. I'm working right now," Izaya explained. To his surprise, Shizuo dismissed this.

"That's fine. Do whatever it was you were doing. I'll wait. I came to talk to you, so that's what's going to happen," the stubborn man walked through the large space, observing the flea's apartment. Izaya blinked, but returned to his computer. He found little use in arguing.

After a few more minutes of work, he felt Shizuo's eyes on him. Looking up, carmine met mocha.

"Yes?" he asked the brute. Shizuo's face looked like it was in pain.

"You look awful, louse," he said gruffly. Izaya tilted his head to the side.

"Awful? Well, I wasn't aware I was going to have company tonight Shizu-chan. I would've freshened up more," Izaya said before returning his eyes to the screen of his computer.

"Tch, don't give me that. You have black circles under your eyes and you look like you haven't eaten in days," Shizuo growled. Izaya chuckled.

"My job has me work odd hours, Shizu-chan. You know that." The brute remained unconvinced. He walked around the large computer desk, and stood behind the raven's swivel chair. Putting his hands on top of Izaya's to stop his typing, he turned the chair around so they were looking at each other.

"Izaya. You need to get help," he whispered to the smaller male.

"I am the one helping you, Neanderthal. Now let me work." To his disdain, the blond's grip on his chair didn't lighten.

"Please. You've progressed much too far already. If you keep going down this route, I'm afraid you won't be able to come back..." The tone of the man's voice was one the informant had never heard before. At least, not directed toward himself. It was the tone one might use when going to see a deathly ill person in the hospital. Gentle, and quiet.

Izaya leaned his head forward, and touched his forehead against Shizuo's.

"You've been thinking about too much negative stuff, Shizu-chan. Maybe we should do another session. I want that look off your face." He raised his hands and gently rubbed them against the brute's jawline. Shizuo's eyes darkened.

"I don't want to. I want to stay like this," he said stubbornly. He put his hands on top of Izaya's, and pulled the smaller man's body up from the chair, pulling it against himself.

Maneuvering his tall frame just right, he switched their positions. Now he was sitting in the computer chair and Izaya was straddling his lap. He wasn't thinking about anything. It was far from his mind how out of character he was being. He just wanted to be close.

Izaya's gaze never left his, and his hands moved blond locks away from chocolate eyes. Pulling away, he hid his face in the crook of Shizuo's neck. He could feel his face heating up, and he needed to get away.

Large hands placed themselves on his thin hips. On impulse, Izaya bit the brute's neck, earning a groan. Shizuo's hands tightened on his hips, and he leaned his head against the back of the chair to give the raven more access.

Lazily, Izaya moved his tongue up the blond's neck, up to his jawline, and eventually onto his bottom lip. Their eyes met again, before Shizuo growled and yanked the back of his head down, connecting their lips. Groaning, Izaya tilted his head and hungrily moved his tongue against the brute's. He shifted, and put his knee gently against the taller man's groin. Shizuo hissed in pleasure, and he continued to devour the man on top of him.

His hands moved down to the back of the raven's thighs, and he pulled the small man closer. In response, Izaya ground his knee down again as he licked the back of Shizuo's teeth. They continued this for what seemed like ages, each wrapped up in too much pleasure to think straight.

"Nnnnn, Shizu-chan...you're so hard," Izaya whispered, feeling the other man's arousal against his knee. Shizuo bit his bottom lip in return, earning a whimper from the raven.

"Shut up, louse," he growled and changed their positions. He pulled the raven's knee away, and instead sat the smaller man's groin against his own. Their bodies responded instantly to the friction, and began to move against each other.

"Hah, Shizu-chan...harder," Izaya moaned. Shizuo complied, and used his hands to grind down the raven's hips harder against his own. There was a gargled noise from Izaya's throat, as he captured the monster's lips again.

_ "I told you. You want this man, Izaya," _Hachimenroppi's voice came through his head in a burst of color. Izaya yelped, and moved back with so much force that he actually toppled backwards out of Shizuo's lap.

The blond looked at him in surprise, noting the terrified look on the smaller man's face. Izaya looked up, meeting his gaze. Then he grabbed both sides of his head forcefully, banging his head flat down on the hard floor.

"No, no, no, no, no...shut up.." could be made out from the mess that was the informant. Shizuo leaned down, unsure of what to do.

"Flea? Flea? Izaya! Answer me, are you okay?" he said frantically trying to gain control over the situation. The informant's head snapped up, but it was no longer Izaya.

"I'm fine. Izaya's not though. I'm giving him a little break." A bored monotone voice came out from the raven's mouth. Shizuo looked scared. Just like that, Izaya had lost control over himself. That was further proof of how unstable the man must have been.

Shizuo had never had one of his other personalities take control so forcefully. What the hell had the informant done to himself?

"Who are you?" he asked the male. His eyes were red like Izaya's, but darker. More...blood color.

"Hachimenroppi. I think now would be a good time for me to have my turn with your other personality. Bring him out." Shizuo blinked, all passion in the situation was gone. His hard on was already fading. Scowling, he did as he was told. He didn't want to be alone with one of Izaya's other personalities.

When he met the raven's eyes again, he was no longer himself. Hachimenroppi observed a pair of eyes the same color as his own, but different. They were large, unfocused.

"Um...do you have any reading glasses here? I...can't really see." The blond mumbled quietly.

Rising from the floor, Hachimenroppi went to Izaya's counter, and threw the eye wear at the bumbling man. Putting them on, the gentle eyes observed Hachimenroppi from the floor.

"I'm Tsukishima. You can call me Tsuki. Who are you?" he asked brightly. Smirking in amusement, the raven answered.

"Hachimenroppi. I am your partner now." Garnet eyes widened.

"Hachi-m-men...Can I just call you Roppi-san?" Tsuki asked innocently. The raven sighed. That was the same damn name Psyche called him. But...this blond could use it, he supposed.

"Do what you want. Look, I'm supposed to ask about where you came from. Get to know you, etc etc. But that does not mean I'll be telling you anything about myself. Understood? I'm here for you, but not to tell you all my secrets. If there are things you don't want to tell me then you don't have to. It's up to you."

"I won't ask you anything, Roppi-san. I wanted to meet you for a while now. I'm glad we can talk to each other like this!" Tsuki said brightly. Roppi narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. He simply took a notebook from the counter and sat in front of the blond, waiting.

"I met Tsugaru and Delic before I met Shizuo. I was in the background, watching. I took over entirely by accident. I actually got Shizuo lost in the middle of the city. Since then, I'm not allowed to take over too much. Do you ever get lost, Roppi-san?" Tsuki finished.

"No. I am a master at navigation," Roppi said. He blushed when he realized he had just answered a question about himself. Tsuki tilted his head.

"Hm? Why are you all red?" he asked innocently. Roppi sighed, once again answering a question.

"It's nothing. You just talk to me so...easily. Most people would avoid being this close to me, much less ask me questions about myself."

"Don't you have any friends?" Tsuki asked. Roppi shook his head.

"Everyone is afraid of me. Nobody likes me. Nobody likes me...nobody-" His voice grew fainter with every word. Tsuki gently touched his hand.

"I don't think you're scary. _I _like you, Roppi-san," Tsuki said earnestly. Roppi's eyes widened. He was aware that he was sitting very close to the man, their knees touching as they sat cross legged on the floor.

"Do you like me too?" The shy voice asked quietly.

"Fuck..I think I do..." Roppi admitted more to himself than the blond. His heart rate was picking up, but why? _Why?_ He was the side of Izaya that despised humans. They were shallow, they were horrid, they were parasites. All the reasons Izaya loved them were why he hated them. But...looking at this blond. This innocent being who looked at him like he was a person and not...a monster. He couldn't hate this creature. Tsuki gently held his hand, and moved closer.

"I'm glad you like me. Most people don't because they think I'm stupid. I'm really not, I'm just scatter-brained sometimes. Delic bullies me alot because of it," Tsuki said with a sad smile on his face. Roppi moved closer, trying to soak up more of the warm feeling Tsuki gave him.

"If he bullies you again, you come and find me. I've decided that only I can hurt you," Roppi said grimly. Tsuki tilted his head again.

"Why would you want to hurt me?" he asked.

"Pain is love," Roppi replied. It wasn't until he saw the blush on Tsuki's face that he realized what he had said. He looked away quickly, refusing to meet that garnet gaze. He felt a finger on his chin, forcing him to look up.

"Then hurt me all you want, Roppi-san," Tsuki said as he gently pushed their lips together. Roppi's face was frozen in shock. Not only had this blond broken through his defenses, but he had just _kissed _him. Roppi gripped Tsuki's shoulders forcefully, digging his nails in. Tsuki whimpered, but didn't try to get away.

"Tsuki...do you like pain?" Roppi asked quietly.

"No...but if it's Roppi-san, it feels good," the gentle voice answered. Groaning, Roppi continued to abuse the taller man's shoulders, moving his nails eventually to the soft skin on his back.

Each time his nails would scrape the skin, Tsuki's whimpers evolved more into moans. They weren't making much contact, but somehow it felt intimate. Roppi wanted nothing more than to curl up against him and go to sleep. Then, Tsuki wrapped his long arms around him. Startled, Roppi looked at him. There was a look of pure bliss on the blond's face.

"You...can hurt me too. Treat me like an object if you want," The raven said. Tsuki shook his head.

"Never, Roppi-san. You seem to hurt yourself enough. You're really mean to yourself, saying that no one likes you. I'll be gentle with you and help you realize that you're more than you know you are." Tsuki nuzzled into the his neck.

Roppi snarled, leaning the blond's head by tugging his hair. He bit down on the taller man's jugular, listening in satisfaction as Tsuki yelped in pain. Then he gently ran his tongue along the wound, running his fingers through yellow tresses.

Tsuki fell back, pulling Roppi along with him. They hit the floor, Tsuki rolling over to press his body against the raven's. He wrapped his arms around the brooding male, and hugged him close.

"Izaya's body is tired. You need to rest so we can talk more later." The blond said gently. Roppi sighed.

"He's far more messed up than he's letting on. Shizuo needs to be concerned. I don't know what's going to happen to all of us if Izaya loses it..." the raven admitted.

"Are you scared for them?" Tsuki asked.

"I...don't want Izaya to go over the edge. He's so close to it now. Every day it gets worse. If he really does lose it, I don't know what'll happen to the rest of us. I'm not afraid of death, but Psyche is. Hibiya believes he can't die, or at least he never talks about it. But now... I'm afraid of missing time like this with you," Roppi said. Tsuki nuzzled him gently.

"If you fade into darkness, I'll be right beside you. So don't be afraid." Roppi smiled in spite of himself, and turned to give the blond a quick kiss.

He was well-aware that all their affections for each other were initially because of what Shizuo and Izaya felt, but at the same time, if they could exist as separate beings, even for a little while, couldn't they be on charge of their own feelngs? Roppi liked to think so, even of he knew it wasn't true.

"Goodnight, Tsuki."

"Goodnight, Roppi."


	12. Wasted

_AHHH! You guys are so awesome. __Anonlurker__, I am honored to be your first review ever! That means so much to me. __Poveromo__, your comment made me smile. __FallingforWerewolves__, yours made me dance because I thought my work with the alternates wasn't great, but you apparently understood. __Kimikokawaii,__ yours was the first comment I read when I woke up, and it made my day. So, here's more virtual love to you all! On with the storyyyy!_

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><p><strong>Wasted<strong>

Here he was, yet again. Izaya found himself in darkness, with his other selves. Psyche was the first to break the drawn out silence.

"Iza-chan...you kissed Shizu-Shizu!" The upbeat voice said. "You kissed him the same as Hibi-chan kissed Deli-chan."

"Indeed! Hypocrisy knows no bounds! You have lost the right to judge the rest of us!" Hibiya stated.

Roppi sat in the back, holding his fingers to his lips, looking lost in thought. Izaya didn't say a word. His eyes were on the floor. They were right, after all. He didn't know why he had kissed Shizuo. He didn't know why he had enjoyed it. He _really _didn't know why he was still thinking about how good it had felt. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, but said nothing still. He wasn't mad at himself, he was just...confused.

"Izaya. I kissed Tsuki," Roppi stated bluntly, ignoring how Psyche clapped his hands together and how Hibiya's eyebrows rose. Izaya stared at him.

"Aye. I knew you would," Izaya said quietly. "We're all guilty now, ne? Guess you are a part of me after all."

"Does this mean I can kiss Tsu-chan?" Psyche's voice broke in.

"I honestly don't fucking care anymore. Do what you want," Izaya snarled. He was met with a barrage of raised voices.

"Don't be so mean, Iza-chan!" whined Psyche.

"Quit acting so mighty, Orihara!" snapped Hibiya.

"Izaya...you need to listen to Shizuo. You need help," stated Roppi. The original raven was beside himself.

"What I need is some peace and quiet! Every day all I hear about is the brute! It's no wonder he's always on my mind, with how you all go on and on about him! Just give me some damn peace! Please...please..." he sank to his knees, gripping what sanity he had left by holding his head. His alternates sat beside him, all of the ravens succumbing to the silence.

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><p>Shizuo was the first to open his eyes. He grunted when he realized he was on the floor. He blinked when he realized it wasn't his floor. He blushed when he remembered whose floor it was.<p>

Sure enough, he had his arms wrapped around the thin informant. Izaya's sleeping face was far from peaceful; it was furrowed like the man was in pain. Frowning, Shizuo began to stroke his hair absentmindedly, trying to ease the discomfort that was ailing his dreams.

He wasn't too surprised by how the night before had turned out. After what had happened with Delic and Hibiya, he knew he had to have that taste in his mouth again. Shizuo knew that it was horribly different from how they normally acted, yet it came so naturally. He knew exactly where to touch the other man. Their mouths had fit together like a puzzle piece. The way Izaya had sucked on his tongue the night before... Shizuo shuddered at the thought.

Here they were, on the floor of the informant's over sized, over expensive apartment, wrapped around each other. The ground was far from comfortable, but the blond was unwilling to move. He didn't want to ruin this moment. As soon as the smaller man woke up, his mask would be back in place. He would drop the subject, and block Shizuo from his troubles. It was surreal, really. Izaya had done a real number on himself, all for the sake of helping a man he claimed to hate. In return, Shizuo was trying to hold both of them together by pushing their personal boundaries, and _literally_ holding their bodies close together.

Every shred of sanity he lost over the years was forgotten when he kissed Izaya. Every time they locked eyes, the blond could see the similar emotions running through the other man's mind. Though the raven would never willingly admit it, this toxic partnership was slowly becoming a dominant part in both of their lives.

Neither of them was good for the other, but now the personalities had somehow mended themselves together, effectively bringing the former enemies together. Shizuo knew that it was only a matter of time before one of them snapped, neither of them being stable. Looking at the sleeping man's face, he had an eerie feeling he knew who was closer to a breakdown. He could see the turmoil on Izaya's face. Sometimes when they spoke, he would notice the raven's eyes glaze over, like he was looking somewhere else.

Shizuo frowned as the man in his arms buried his face in his chest, nuzzling at the warmth. Izaya was mumbling in his sleep

"Nnnn...no. Just a moment's...peace..." he slurred. Shizuo ran his hands through onyx hair, noting how the smaller man moved closer and closer. It was like Izaya was holding onto him for dear life. When garnet eyes opened, they were glossy, dazed. The man didn't quite know where he was. Then, realization came pouring back. For a moment, there was a look of pure terror on his face. A look Shizuo had never seen the man possess. It was quickly replaced by a mask of calmness, as he looked up at the brute.

"Shizu-chan~. How did you sleep, holding me so close?" he purred. Shizuo rolled his eyes at the man's childish antics, but played along.

"I slept fucking great on this hard ass floor," he said in response, earning an impish grin from informant in his arms.

"Mmm. You seemed hard enough yourself," Izaya said bluntly. Lazily, still halfway asleep, he kissed the man above him. It was gentle, nothing like what they had shared the night before, but it said so much more to the brute as he kissed the raven back. They captured each other's lips again and again, bathing in the sunlight that streamed through the large windows of the apartment. Pulling away, Izaya stood up, stretching. He was aware of a certain pair of eyes looking him up and down, but chose not to comment on it.

"I'm off today, Shizu-chan. Namie is on call, but she's not coming here. Are you free as well?" Izaya asked.

"Um..yeah. I think so. Why?"

"I am going to laze about today. I'm extremely tired, as you know. Would you like to waste the day away with me?" God, how Shizuo wanted nothing more. It was a request that wasn't anything special, but it said so much. Izaya didn't want to part ways just yet.

"We're..not doing any sessions, right?" Shizuo asked warily.

"Haha, no. As upset as it will make our alternates, they're not invited today. It's just you and me," the raven said. _Just you and me._ Those words made Shizuo feel happy and terrified at the same time.

Standing from the ground, he rose to the same level as the informant, towering over the male. He met the gaze directly, before he answered.

"That sounds wonderful." Izaya smiled at his words, and turned to go into his bedroom. When he returned, he had the duvet from his bed, and a few pillows. He arranged the pillows on his large couch, and threw the heavy cover over it. Then, he went to a shelf and removed a rather complicated movie from its cover. Putting it in the DVD player, he turned on the plasma television set and pressed play. He turned to Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan, have a seat." he motioned to the couch as he skipped the previews. The blond went to the couch, moving the duvet as he rested under it. The cover smelled just like Izaya. He was inhaling deeply as he watched the agile man finish fiddling with the player.

Soon, he was joined on the couch by the raven, who comfortably sat almost in his lap. Half his body was on Shizuo's, the other half on the couch. Izaya moved the duvet over both of them as he snuggled against the blond. Shizuo struggled to keep up with the movie. It was some psychological thriller, and very difficult to follow.

Instead, he shifted his gaze to the raven below him. Izaya had his eyes glued to the screen, a very tired expression on his face. Absently, he reached his hand up and placed it on the blond's knee, massaging it gently. Shizuo leaned his head up to the smaller man's ear, speaking into it directly.

"You seem comfortable. I never would have pegged you as the type to watch movies." He nuzzled the ear with his lips. Izaya closed his eyes.

"Ah. I have a television mostly for decoration. I choose not to watch it most of the time. But a plot that's so difficult to follow keeps my mind off of other...things," he whispered quietly. His hand was still on the other man's knee, still moving gently over the clothed skin. Shizuo pulled the informant closer, resting his head on the man's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his thin frame.

"What are you trying to block out?" he asked. The raven leaned his head back, his cheek against Shizuo's.

"Just things. Nnn, you holding me like this helps much better," Izaya changed the subject. Sighing, Shizuo moved his hands to the informant's shoulders.

"You need to relax. Go to sleep," he growled gently in the other man's ear as he began to rub his shoulders gently.

"So gentle, Shizu-chan. I've never felt your hands use so little power."

"If it hurts, let me know. I've never done this..." Shizuo admitted honestly. Izaya laughed.

"No, Shizu-chan. It feels good. Don't stop just yet." His head grew heavy and leaned backwards into Shizuo's neck.

"Mmmm, I like your hands. I never know what they are capable of."

The brute chuckled, and continued his ministrations, enjoying every noise that escaped the smaller man's lips. He watched with great fascination as the informant began to fall asleep in his arms. The serene look of peace crossed his features, and a final moan exited his mouth before he was gone from the waking world.

Shizuo was vaguely aware of the complicated movie that was playing still. He lifted the small man gently, and pulled him on top of himself as leaned into the pillows Izaya had placed there earlier.

Taking the remote from the coffee table, he turned off the movie and took control of the television, absently flipping through channels before deciding on some old fashioned soap opera. Daytime T.V. really was too much. He found himself drawn into the twisted plot before long.

Every now and then a tiny groan would escape from the informant's mouth, but as long as his eyes remained closed that was all that mattered. Shizuo had begun stroking his fingertips along Izaya's arms, tracing small patterns into the man's skin. He didn't know how much time had passed, he just knew he was getting hungry. Frowning, he tried to devise a way he could move himself up without waking the informant. There didn't seem to be a way around it. If he stayed like this, his stomach growling would wake him anyway.

Gently, he removed himself from the couch, lifting his body and untangling himself from the raven. To his surprise, Izaya did little more than groan at the loss of the warmth. Shizuo covered him, smirking as he buried his face in the pillows.

He walked into the kitchen, and went through the cabinets trying to find something to eat. Settling on some cereal, he frowned at the bland taste. He found a container of sugar, and poured half of it into the bowl. As he ate, he kept his eyes on the screen of the television. Honestly, soap operas were hilarious. He filled the bowl with water when he was finished, and headed back to Izaya's side. Realizing he wouldn't be able to resume his earlier position, he settled his body on top of the sleeping man. Careful to shift his weight, he had his face next to Izaya's.

"Nnn-Shizu-chaaaannnn..." The man mumbled in his slumber. Shizuo stroked his hair, pulling their faces together for a simple kiss. He had realized something over the few days that Izaya had himself holed up in his apartment. The whole goal was to help him get better. Honestly, he felt better. Whenever he was with this man...he felt better than he had in a long time. His therapist was becoming his therapy.

They were both far from sane. They both had characteristics that made most people run away. They both had a disorder that wasn't common. But here, under the duvet with Izaya, none of that fucking mattered. They were complete as they were, and not split apart. They were _perfect._ Slowly, he joined the information broker in dream world. Their hands somehow clasped together as they slept.

* * *

><p>Izaya blinked blearily as he returned to consciousness. The sky was dark now, the streetlights outside were lighting the apartment. Colors danced across the duvet from the brightly lit television screen. His face was inches from Shizuo's, who was sleeping soundly.<p>

The raven sat up slowly, and then stood, heading to the kitchen. His stomach rumbled loudly, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. As he opened the fridge, his peace was interrupted yet again.

_ "Izaya. Are you still denying your feelings for Shizuo?" _Roppi's voice asked. Really, he was Izaya's favorite personality to talk to. He spoke calmly, while Psyche would practically yell, and Hibiya would speak so smugly all the raven could think of was hitting him.

"I feel safe," was all Izaya shared on the subject. Usually, whenever one of them would talk, all of them would join. Surprisingly, after he answered Roppi's question, all was quiet.

The raven grinned as he raided his fridge. He decided to make an omelet and some rice. Glancing over at the brute on his couch, he got enough ingredients to make servings for two. He stood in front of his oven, bringing all of the ingredients together. While it cooked, he made a glass of milk and got a bottle of water.

He went to the coffee table, setting the drinks down on the surface. Going back to the stove, he made two plates of the delicious smelling food. He hadn't eaten in so long, he thought he may just inhale the entire plate. He set the now full plates on the table beside the drinks. Crawling on top of Shizuo, he kissed the blond's jaw.

"Shizu-chan~. Wake up. I made you something to eat." Izaya said gently. Shizuo stirred from his slumber, and leaned into the lips against his skin.

"What is it?" he asked gruffly. Izaya giggled.

"Get up and see, silly," he replied. Leaning back, he settled beside the brute. He gripped the plate, and handed it to the tall man as he sat up straight.

"You made me an omelet?" Shizuo blinked in disbelief, looking toward the glass of milk, and back down at the plate of food. Grinning, he dug in, practically eating the entire thing in one bite.

Izaya watched him savor the food, before he ate his own. Sitting back against the cushions together, they settled in a comfortable silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shizuo happily chug the milk. He laughed at the man.

"What?" The blonde turned to him. There was a milk mustache on his upper lip. Izaya smirked, leaning in. He licked the milk from the man's lips, before he delved his tongue into the brute's mouth. Shizuo moaned, and gripped the back of the informant's head, pulling their mouths even closer together.

"Did you enjoy wasting a day with me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya purred. Shizuo growled lowly, reconnecting their lips.

"It wasn't wasted at all," he said simply, enjoying the taste of his therapist.


	13. Fractured

_I had so many reviews and was totally unaware of it! I received no e-mail notification at all. Grrr, technology...Thank you to all who review~! Oh, and __yo-yo-hey-man...__now I'm going to have to work very hard to avoid the whole Izaya and Shizuo's love child on a strawberry thing...too cute! On with the STORY!_

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><p><strong>Fractured<strong>

After the long day of leisure, Izaya felt immensely better. Perhaps all he needed was a break.

He and Shizuo had parted ways soon after their little kissing fest. The brute got a call from Tom about some guy who owed money and wouldn't listen to reason. Of course, anyone who wouldn't listen to reason got to deal with a brutal fist instead. Izaya practically had to force the man out the door, neither of them really wanting to part ways.

After Shizuo was gone, Izaya had went straight to bed and resumed his sleeping. In all, he had probably slept sixteen hours that day, but it helped _a lot. _The voices had been quiet all day besides the few words Hachimenroppi had spoken. Smirking, Izaya drifted back to out of alertness. He knew he had control over the situation.

Waking up was still the worst part of the day. Groaning, he heard a voice from his living room.

"Orihara-san! Where are those files on that missing girl?" Namie's voice broke his peace.

"In the top drawer," he replied, mumbling into his pillow. There was a pause, and then:

"They're not here!" her shrill voice verged on anger. Izaya growled and threw off his duvet. Pulling on a robe, he strutted into the area where the voice was coming from. He shoved past the brunette, mumbling about how he had to do everything himself. Looking, he realized she was right. They weren't there.

"Did you move them last time you were here?" he asked his secretary. She looked at him like he was on fire.

"Do I ever? You're in charge of gathering the information, then I file it and give it back to you. Once that's complete, you look over them and put them back. Remember? Those are our jobs," she hissed. Carmine eyes narrowed.

"Well, one of us moved them and it wasn't me. Obviously your filing is getting sloppy." He grinned when she gave off her ominous aura.

"Find them," Izaya said simply before going toward his room. He was stopped.

_ "Iza-chan! I moved those files. They were scary so I put them in the bottom drawer, away from me." _

"Psyche? When...when did you take control?" he whispered to himself, earning a stare from his angry secretary.

_ "Last night. Iza-chan was tired, so I tried to help. But your job is scary, so I gave up," _the childish voice explained.

Rubbing his eyes, Izaya tried to remember any of this. There was not even a shred of recollection.

"Oi. What's up with you?" the monotone voice of Namie interrupted his moment of terror.

"Headache..." he mumbled. Stepping into his room, he closed the doors behind him. He fell to his knees and placed his head against the cold hard-wood floors.

"Psyche... I appreciate what you were trying to do, but how easy was it for you to...control me?" Izaya whispered.

_" Eh? All I did was think about helping you, and then it happened! It wasn't hard at all!" _Psyche said happily, as if this was the greatest news in the world. _"You didn't even wake up! That's good, 'cause I wanted you to rest."_

The raven stayed on the floor for a few minutes, trying to grasp his mind around this new bit of information.

He hadn't planned on them using his sleeping state as a means to take over. The answer was to not let it happen again, but he had to sleep. Thinking about this, his phone vibrated. It was a message from Shiki, regarding their meeting that was scheduled for the afternoon.

_ [Izaya-san, I don't know why you never showed up today, but it better be a good reason. I'll await your call so we can reschedule.]_

Blinking, Izaya checked the time on his phone. It was after three in the afternoon. He abruptly stood up and threw on his clothes, flying out of the apartment like it was burning. Namie stared after him in utter confusion. Never had she seen him so unrefined.

* * *

><p>Izaya didn't know why he was running. It was unlikely that he would catch Shiki in the city. Even if he did, there would be so many bodyguards around that it would be almost impossible to speak with him. He couldn't think of a way to justify missing the meeting. He honestly didn't know how on earth he had slept so long. His body still felt tired, sluggish, His mind was more alert. He realized it was because Psyche had used his body the night before, while his mind rested.<p>

The informant ran almost all the way to Ikebukuro for no reason. His legs seemed to carry him forward while he was lost in thought. He even almost ran face-first into Simon.

"Izaya, you eat some sushi?" the Russian accented man said. The raven shook his head.

"Sushi isn't what I need right now Simon..."

"Sushi help cure sleepiness," Simon continued. Izaya blinked at him.

"I look tired?" he asked warily. The large man nodded, before turning away to speak with some tourists. Scowling, Izaya continued forward hearing Simon behind him.

"Sushi cure language barriers," he spoke to American teenagers.

_ "Where are you going?" _Roppi's voice flooded his mind. _"You've been running forever, what are you trying to accomplish?" _

"I don't know...I just need to keep my mind occupied."

_ "It looks like you're headed to Shizuo's." _Sure enough, his eyes widened as he saw the large building that contained the monster. He stopped his feet, standing at the entrance.

_ "What's wrong? Go in. It'll help you to talk to him," _Roppi said. The informant shook his head.

"I'm too...mixed up today. He'll know." There was a scoff in his mind.

_ "Trust me. He knows anyway. You need to talk to someone."_

"I'm talking to you. I don't need to speak with anyone about this. I just...need rest." Pulling out his phone, he dialed Shiki's number. He explained the situation, and was able to reschedule the meeting for next week. Shiki was going out of town today, so it had to be when he returned. Izaya moved away from Shizuo's apartment. He felt his sanity slip with every step he took away from the warm man.

"Christ, Shizu-chan...what have you done to me?" he asked the ground.

Upon his arrival back in Shinjuku, he was met by Namie as she was leaving.

"Orihara-san, I am done for the day," she said plainly. Izaya nodded to her, before she spoke again.

"Someone's here to see you."

Despite everything, those words made his stomach flip. He forgot he was looking down the barrel of a mental breakdown, even if only for a moment. As he stepped into his living room and saw that mop of blond hair, his cares faded. The brute turned to face him.

"Flea. Are you free?" Shizuo asked him. Izaya didn't answer, he just closed the distance between them by moving quickly toward the other man. The blond looked surprised, but pulled the dark man into an embrace nonetheless.

"Oi. Are you okay?" His voice contained every bit of comfort the raven needed. It was gruff, raw, _real. _He gripped the man tightly, trying to grasp his reality.

"Mmm, Shizu-chan. I am the best I've been all day," he mumbled as he tried to get closer to the monster. Shizuo had a look on his face that the raven missed. It was probably for the best that he missed it, because it was filled with so much hurt. So much worry, so much anger. He was so many things because of the man he held in his arms. He had been a bundle of nerves since he had left. He worried that Izaya was slipping. Slipping _more _if that was even possible.

"Where does all this sudden affection come from? I thought you hated me," Shizuo stated.

"Hate is a silly emotion, don't you think? It can take so many forms," was Izaya's vague reply. He rubbed his face against the taller man's chest, drinking in his scent.

"Izaya, I need you to look at me.." Shizuo whispered. Leaning back, the informant looked directly into coffee eyes, noting the pain, worry, anger...something else.

"I want you to get some help. Please, go see someone." The raven laughed, returning his face to the blond's chest.

"Silly Shizu-chan. I'm seeing you right now." Shizuo sighed, but didn't press the issue. He put his face against dark hair, inhaling deeply.

"To answer your earlier question, I am indeed free tonight. What did you need?" Izaya asked.

_ To see you..._"I just...it's nothing." Shizuo said quietly.

"So cute, Shizu-chan." Izaya raised his head and put his forehead against the taller man's. Their gazes never left the other.

"Ne, if you're so eager to see me, just stay here tonight," Izaya purred. The Shizuo's eyes widened, then a grin spread across his face, removing every expression the raven had wanted gone.

"Alright. I don't need to be asked twice." His dark eyes sent chills down the smaller man's spine.


	14. The White King

_Hmm, for some reason this goddamn site isn't sending update notices or review notices. Hope it's only temporary! However, the story must go on. WARNING. This chapter will contain nsfw goodness. Any flame I get will be used to heat up Izaya and Shizuo's bed. Now, on with the fricken' story!_

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><p><strong>The White King<strong>

This was nothing how he had planned. Shizuo grumpily observed the slender man at his computer, hurriedly typing the remainder of the day away. After he had arrived and decided to stay, Izaya's damn phone had vibrated loudly. Looking down, the raven gave a simple, "It's my boss," and had taken the call. After a few minutes of conversation, he went to the computer.

"I have to locate someone really quick. This shouldn't take long. Make yourself comfortable, Shizu-chan," Izaya had said. Yeah, that had been over an hour ago. The sky outside was beginning to shift from blue to a variety of pink and purples. The sun would be down in less than an hour. Shizuo groaned loudly.

"Aren't you almost done yet?" The typing stopped for a moment.

"So impatient. It's simply taking longer than I would've liked. This man has effectively covered his tracks. He must know there are people after him." With that, the clicking noises of Izaya's quick fingers against the keys resumed. Standing from his place on the couch, the blond walked around to where the raven was working. He passed a chess board, with various pieces scattered about.

"What is this? It looks...set up weird," Shizuo stated as he picked up the white king.

"Put that down! I have it set up a very specific way. The kings are the most important!" came the reproachful voice of the man whose face was hidden by a computer monitor.

Sighing, Shizuo did as he was told. He decided to drag a small chair from the front of the desk to the other side.

Sitting behind Izaya, he watched the complicated process the informant was in the middle of. The screen was an array of various hyperlinks, credit card receipts, hotel names, aliases, and a series of odd numbers.

"What the hell?" The blond blinked. The typing ceased once again.

"Taking an interest in my work, Shizu-chan?" A seductive voice asked. He turned to observe the blond's face. "We'll play in a minute. I need to finish this." The larger man's stomach flipped at the word _'play'_ but he tried not to show it.

"I'm just observing. You won't even know I'm here." Izaya looked at him skeptically, but turned back to the monitor.

Shizuo watched in awe as the informant moved from page to page, clicking link after link, writing down certain numbers as he went. It looked like some sort of code. Looking at the flea's face, the brute couldn't help but grin. Izaya's face was one of pure concentration, his lips twitching into a smile every time he wrote down a number.

"Aha~! I've cracked it!" The informant's gleeful cheer broke the other man's concentration. Nimble fingers began typing in the various numbers in all of the pages previously marked by hyperlinks. The monitor suddenly turned into a picture similar to that of a GPS device. Smirking, Izaya sent this message to his boss, and then turned to face Shizuo.

"See? All done," he said simply. He enjoyed the lost look on the other man's face.

"I have no idea what I just witnessed," Shizuo said blankly. Izaya laughed.

"Ahahaha! I just hacked a hacker, Shizu-chan. He had his files hidden in code. By cracking those codes, I was able to track down the location of his mainframe. Computers send off signals you know. It seems he was giving information that was leading to a lot of deaths. So, I just effectively ended that little problem." Scarlet eyes lit up with mirth. He really enjoyed his work.

The blond pulled the swivel chair closer by rolling it across the surface of the floor. He and Izaya were now sitting facing each other, their knees touching. Shizuo reached out, putting his finger under the raven's chin.

"Hmm. Now that you're done, can it be just us again?" he growled. He watched as Izaya's gaze shifted from excited to pure _want. _The red eyes shifting to black as the pupils dilated.

Large hands moved from his chin to the front of his shirt, pulling Izaya closer, connecting their lips. Shizuo found it utterly intoxicating that he never had to ask for entrance to this man's mouth. As soon as their lips connected, their tongues instantly wrapped around each other's.

"Nnn. Of course. Who else would it be, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked licking the larger man's lips.

"I lose track. Maybe one of our personalities took over and we just don't know it," Shizuo joked. Izaya frowned.

"Has that...ever happened to you? After you were aware of all of them...and acknowledged them..did they ever forcefully take control?" Izaya looked serious. Moving his head back, the blond observed his face.

"No. They don't take over unless they feel they have to or unless I ask. Has...that happened to you?"

"It was just a hypothetical situation. Of course that hasn't happened." The informant leaned forward again, capturing the other's lips. The bodyguard pushed him back.

"You're lying to me! How stupid do you think I am? If that's really happening you need to-"

"I need _what_ Shizu-chan? Pills? A psychiatrist? Do you know what that would accomplish? Not a damn thing! They would tell me what I already know! Stop trying to be my doctor, when I am the one treating you!" Izaya's expression was one of rage. Like a frazzled cat...like...Shinra's voice came floating into the blond's mind.

_ "You know how he gets when he can't predict the next move. Such a control freak!" _

Brown eyes widened. It all made sense now. The raven had lost control entirely. He was so tired and irritable because he was no longer the one making the decisions. Shizuo wondered how long this man had suffered in silence, alone with the horror of his own mind. This realization didn't mean Shizuo wasn't angry.

After all, this _was _the fortissimo of Ikebukuro Izaya was yelling at.

"You don't have any control at all!" he shouted, standing up from his chair. "If you did you'd look the same as always! You look sick, scared! Every time I wake up next to you, you're terrified of something, but you just act like nothing is wrong! Talk to me, dammit!" his furious gaze boring into the carmine eyes below him. Izaya shifted his gaze.

"Protozoan beast. You know nothing of my mind..." Shizuo saw red. He lifted the smaller man by his collar, pulling their chests together.

"_Fuck you._ I know exactly what's in your little flea brain! You forget that I've dealt with this longer. How the hell are you already giving them control of you? How did you progress so far? Do you know what you're doing to yourself? To me?"

"I'm well aware of everything! There is nothing I haven't prepared for! I have much more intelligence than you! I can handle it!" Izaya snarled. He pulled himself free from the large hands holding him, trying to walk away from the desk. he got to the side before Shizuo's hand reached out and stopped him.

"Fucking talk to me! Stop being such a dick for once in your life and _talk_ to me!" Izaya had reached his limit. He pulled out his flickblade, snapping it open and shoving the monster on the desk. He crawled on top of Shizuo and held the glistening blade against his throat.

"Don't forget for a second who you're talking to. Just because you're so cozy here now doesn't mean I've changed at all, and neither have you! We are still the same people we were before this little episode happened, and no amount of fucking therapy can change that! You are a _monster _Shizu-chan. And I can kill you right now..." his teeth were showing in a sneer as he pushed the blade closer. Mocha eyes remained unwavering.

"Liar. Everything is different now and you know it. Kill me then if it makes you happy." He closed his eyes and waited for the slash of the knife, but it never came. Izaya's furious gaze melted into one of uncertainty, then evolved into his usual mask. He dropped the blade and pressed his lips against the place on Shizuo's neck the blade had touched. Still angry, he bit the skin roughly, in punishment. Large hands gripped his head, holding his mouth in place as he continued to abuse the sensitive flesh.

"Izaya...what am I to you?" Shizuo asked quietly. Instead of a response, he felt the teeth against his neck shift, the tongue poking out. Izaya licked up his neck, nibbling his earlobe.

"You are...my sanity," he whispered into the blond's ear. He looked into the warm brown orbs that had grown wide at his confession.

The larger man pulled his mouth down on his own, tasting every crevice of the informant's mouth. Izaya melted into the kiss, grasping onto every inch of the man he could reach. The sheer force of his tongue against the brute's made him forget everything he was worried about. Every negative thought that had plagued him for days, lifted in seconds.

He moved his hands into Shizuo's shirt, roaming his bare chest. Shizuo hissed into the kiss as his nipple was abused by those nimble fingers, before he removed his mouth from Izaya's, latching it instead to the smaller man's neck.

The raven groaned quietly, continuing to push his hands lower. He reached the hem of Shizuo's pants, quickly unbuttoning them. Shizuo moved his tongue along the dark man's jugular, kissing up to his chin. He inhaled sharply as he felt Izaya's hand plunge into his pants.

Placing his hand against the other man's erection through the fabric of his boxers, Izaya applied a tiny bit of force, observing as Shizuo's head snapped back in sheer bliss. His lips were parted, his eyes clenched tightly. The informant had never seen anything so sexy. He continued to palm the man through his tented boxers, applying more and more force.

"I-zayaaaaaa..." The blonde gargled trying to pull his hand away. He felt close to the edge. Izaya slapped his hand away, instead delving his hand into the boxers, grasping the sensitive organ.

"Mmm, Shizu-chan. I want you to keep saying my name like that. It's so sexy~," he said as he began to pump the throbbing arousal. Shizuo could've screamed at the pure pleasure that was racing through his veins. It took every bit of his will power to pull the raven's hand away.

He used his strength to push the smaller man off the desk, effectively switching their positions. Izaya was now under him, back against the hard wood surface of the expensive desk. He unbuttoned the informant's black pants, pulling them down. He met the lustful stare of the man under him, before he removed the boxers as well as his own.

Izaya hissed when Shizuo ground his erection against his own painful one. He put his hands on the brute's shoulders, his head leaned back against the desk. The brute placed his hands on thin hips, guiding them upwards to meet every thrust. They were wrapped up in pure, unfiltered bliss. Each of them was entirely in a different world, their bodies coursing with pleasure.

"Ahhh...ah, Shizu-chan..." Izaya couldn't get the words out, his mind turned to mush by the rawness of their actions. Shizuo understood, and captured the informant's lips in a rough, yet passionate kiss.

His mouth moved to the crook of his neck as he felt his release creeping up in the base of his stomach. Izaya felt the movement of the brute's lips against his skin, practically _feeling _them form the word, "Izaya". The very thought made him dive off the edge, moaning loudly as he found his release. He gripped tightly onto golden locks as he rode out his orgasm, followed quickly by the man on top of him.

There were a few more thrusts before the blond collapsed onto Izaya, lazily kissing him on the lips. They relaxed into silence, the fading sun filling the windows behind the desk.

Wearily, Izaya turned his head, facing the chess board Shizuo had asked about earlier. The light from the setting sun shone on the set, making the white pieces glow. None more than the proud king, who was practically shining like a night light. The white king stood proudly, facing the black king. They were separated by so many pieces, pawns, rooks, knights, bishops, queens...yet they always faced each other.

The exhausted informant looked up at the man on top of him who was already fading out of consciousness, his yellow hair glowing as well. Thin fingers grasped a strand, a scarlet gaze shifting from the golden strand to the glowing white king. He felt completely dominated for the first time in his life by this white king.

The black king was at ease, under this man.

"Checkmate, Shizu-chan."


	15. Hallucinating

_This story is moving along very quickly. I'm on spring break this week, so I'm able to update a lot. Next week will be the challenge. I don't think any professor would want me writing this stuff in my classes...ah well, ce la vie. Also, the whole thing where it's not showing reviews or notifications, well, I think it may be a lengthy problem. All I can say is to check daily for updates, and hopefully they'll fix it soon. CHAAARRGGGEEE! On with the huffin' story!_

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><p><strong>Hallucinating<strong>

The word "afterglow" wasn't quite describing it correctly. While Shizuo had drifted off into a peaceful slumber after his climax, Izaya was left on the desk, awake, with the brute's weight on top of him.

Sighing, he looked around his now black apartment, trying to make anything out. That had been so...intense. Honestly, he was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. He saw how the blond man looked at him. The same way he knew he looked at the blond.

A lot had changed since Izaya had learned his secret...and yet... He knew at the same time that things had always been this way. The brute's strength had always been great, and he had had every opportunity in the world to kill the informant, but he never had. He would throw things, chase him, threaten to beat and kill him, but he was so caught up in the _chase _that he wouldn't know how to react if he caught the smaller man.

In retrospect, Izaya could track down a twig in the forest on his computer. Yet, he never tried to send his yakuza connections to kill the blond. He loved waking up and thinking of ways to torment the man. He smiled at things he could say to the man. He moaned at how the man now touched him... Their relationship was evolving more past enemies than it had ever been. Izaya frowned. Was that really it? Or had they ever actually _been _enemies?

They had proclaimed their hatred for the other at the first meeting, but never had much reason behind it. There were times before when...even in high school Izaya had questioned it. Sometimes they would sit on the roof of Raira, together with Kadota and Shinra, and they would act civil. They were even sometimes able to have conversations with each other while Kadota and Shinra discussed things among themselves.

They had always known where the other had lived, and had always had the other's phone number. They knew more about each other than anyone else in the city _could _know about them. And they really hated each other?

No... The informant decided that it was never quite hate. It was an emotion that could never really be placed, but hate wasn't the right word at all.

Now, looking up at this man in the pale moonlight, he could say it was further from hate than it had ever been. He reached up and stroked some hair out of the man's face, smiling at how Shizuo nuzzled his head closer into the crook of his neck. Indeed, this was quite the predicament Izaya had landed himself in.

At the same time, how fun was a chase in which no one got caught? Ah yes, here under the fortissimo, he considered himself very much _caught._ He frowned at the discomfort he felt from below. They hadn't cleaned up after their orgasms...it was horribly unsettling. Izaya was gritting his teeth at the thought of how unsanitary it must be.

He was able to maneuver himself off the desk, by setting his feet on the floor and gently pulling his body away. Shizuo stirred, but didn't wake. The raven got a small blanket from the hall closet, and covered up the sleeping man.

He found himself staring at the serene face. Maybe Shizuo was Tsugaru when he slept.

He went to the restroom, and got in the shower. The hot water washed away all of the residue, but not the feeling...or the marks. There were red marks on his neck and collarbone. He knew there would be some on Shizuo, too.

He dressed in a black t-shirt and black sweatpants before he exited the now steamy bathroom. The blond was still on the desk, undisturbed.

Izaya laughed quietly at how soundly the brute could sleep on such a hard surface, before he tried to decide on dinner. There wasn't much of anything in the apartment. The logical thing to do was to go get food.

Izaya looked down at his wardrobe. The shirt would do, but he'd have to put on some other pants. He wouldn't be caught wearing sweatpants in public. He was still a god, even if he was more than one god now.

He went back into his bedroom, slipping on some dark jeans before he grabbed his keys and locked the blond in. Even if he was a monster, if a silly gang member knew he was there, alone and asleep, he would be in danger.

Walking down the brightly lit streets of Shinjuku, he breathed in the fresh air. It smelled like rain. Ah yes, the moon was indeed beginning to be covered by a blanket of wispy storm clouds. He needed to hurry, unless he wanted to be caught in a rain shower. He wanted ootoro, but he doubted Shizuo would like that. He liked ramen okay, but it was far from his favorite.

He browsed the shops on the street, looking at every option. He knew the brute was a fan of junk food...Really, cooking would be healthier. But what could he make? He grinned suddenly. He made damn good Italian food.

Izaya had never been one to settle for one type of cuisine. He loved to study them all. Pasta sounded so good right now, and he was simply ravenous after all of his...exercise. He knew Shizuo was too.

He skipped into a store, grabbing what he needed, before he rushed off to his apartment again. As he stepped inside, he heard rain hitting the window. Ah, he had barely made it.

He looked toward the desk. Shizuo had one of his legs stretched off the edge, his arms curled around his torso. The blanket was thrown on the floor. Sighing, Izaya set the ingredients on the counter, and strode over to the blond.

He wondered idly if the taller man was feeling the discomfort from not washing off after he came. Deciding to be a decent person, he got a towel and wet the end of it, cleaning off the man on the desk. Shizuo did little more than grunt at the cold feeling. The informant then pulled up his boxers and pants, buttoning the dark fabric back together.

He threw the towel in the laundry, then washed his hands as he prepared to make fettuccine alfredo and low fat garlic bread. Even such a hearty meal could be made healthy with the right ingredients.

He flitted about the kitchen, trying to make as little noise as he could. As the sauce simmered, he gathered up some old files and reread them, brushing up on the material. He heard a noise from the desk. His garnet eyes snapped up, but he saw the blond was still asleep. Frowning, he continued his reading, leaning against his counter top.

When the food was finished cooking, he began to make plates. He got out milk for Shizuo, and this time some green tea for himself. Even with Italian food, the stuff tasted great. He continued to hear noises, but whenever he would look up, he would see nothing. His brow furrowed, he felt paranoid. Shrugging it off, he made his way to the sleeping man. They would eat at the table this time; he didn't want pasta stains on his nice couch. He passed the chess board; still he smiled idly at the two kings facing each other. He crawled back onto the computer desk, putting his weight on the blond man. He leaned down and spoke gently.

"Shizu-chaaaan~. You need to wake up. Your posture will only get worse if you keep sleeping like this." There was a groan as brown eyes opened slightly, struggling to focus on the lithe body that was on his own.

"Izaya? What...time is it?" the blond yawned. Izaya chuckled.

"Dinner time. Since you've already had dessert, I think you'll find that you're quite hungry," Izaya answered him. A blush began to creep up Shizuo's face as he remembered what they had done. He looked up into carmine eyes that were watching him closely. Izaya didn't look embarrassed at all, nor did he look angry. He simply ran his hands through yellow tresses, marveling at their glow in the light.

"Up, up, up, Shizu-chan," he sang as he removed himself from the desk. Izaya walked to the table and sat down, waving his hands for the brute to join him. Shizuo stretched before he lept off the desk and took a seat beside the raven.

"What is this?" he motioned to the food. Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Alfredo. It's Italian food. It's really good, try some." He twirled his fork in the white sauce and raised it to the brute's mouth.

"Say 'ahhhh' Shizu-chan." He forcefully shoved the concoction into his mouth before the man even thought about saying 'ahhhh'. Shizuo sputtered, trying to swallow the noodles without making a mess.

"What the fuck?" he glanced up at the smirking man who was obviously trying not to laugh.

"Was it good?" Izaya asked innocently. Scowling, Shizuo picked up his own fork.

"Yeah. I'll feed myself," he grumbled. They ate in silence, occasionally meeting each other's gaze.

"This is really good!" Shizuo said happily, shoveling the Alfredo in his mouth. Izaya leaned against his hand, resting his arm on the table.

"Mmm. It has milk in it. That's how I knew you'd like it."

"You seem to know a lot...about my likes," Shizuo stated. Ah, so the brute was thinking of the same things he was. These were dangerous waters.

Izaya changed the subject.

"I almost got in trouble today," he said simply. The blond raised an eyebrow in question.

"I overslept and missed a meeting with my boss. It could've gone horribly wrong if not for my spotless record. I still can't believe I slept till three p.m." Izaya said like it was nothing. For someone who knew him, it said otherwise.

"That's never happened before?" Shizuo asked.

"Of course, after I pull an all-nighter. But I slept the entire day away and then the whole night and half of another day. That's never happened." The blond chose to not comment on this, for fear of starting another argument.

When arguing with Izaya, there was no winner. Instead he finished his meal, and his milk, and then stood.

"Is it cool if I use your shower?" he asked. The raven nodded, and began to clear the table as Shizuo went to the bathroom.

Izaya loaded the dishwasher, aware that he had worried Shizuo man again. Ah well, his worry would just be wasted. He heard a noise again, and he turned, expecting to see Shizuo. He wanted to talk about why the man shouldn't worry so much. How he was perfectly fine. But it wasn't Shizuo. Instead, he was face to face with Hachimenroppi, in the waking world. He dropped a plate, jumping as it busted on the tile.

"What the-_Roppi?_ How are you here...how is this possible?" he sputtered. Roppi's expression didn't change.

"It seems as though your psychosis has progressed enough that I am able to manifest. Only you can see me and hear me though. Neat, huh?" Izaya's face was horrified.

"No, it's not _neat!_ Get back in my head! This is pure insanity, there's no way for you to be here like this!" His voice was rising, he had forgotten the man in his bathroom.

"No _sane_ way for me to be here. It's not just me. Soon enough, Psyche and Hibiya will be able to manifest too. You'll have all of us together, always. Unless you get help that is," Roppi's bored voice stated. He watched in satisfaction as Izaya's skin paled even more, the blood leaving his face.

"I...I don't need any help...I am in control...I am in control..." he repeated this little mantra to himself over and over, sinking to the floor. He gripped the cold tiles, trying to maintain his state of mind. He needed to calm down, needed time to think. Roppi leaned down with him, settling himself on the floor.

"Congratulations, Izaya Orihara. You're officially fucking insane." And sitting on the floor, next to a manifested figment of himself he had created with a monster bathing in his shower; he found no strength to argue. Groaning, he fell flat against the tiles, Roppi right beside him. He could no longer say that Shizuo shouldn't worry for him.

He was now worried for himself.


	16. Progress

_Ehh, yeah I know the updates are pretty frequent. But it's only until Monday that I get to write so much. Unfortunately, once college starts back up it's finals and such. However, even though the story is coming along so quickly, I assure you it's far from over. I'm horribly impatient, haha. For those concerned about this new "manifesting" version of Roppi, don't be. I have a plan. :3 Now, on with mah storyyyyyyyy!_

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><p><strong>Progress<strong>

Shizuo was pissed off, horribly livid, absolutely furious, needlessly angry. Any word used to describe it, he was. He knew exactly what the informant was going through. They had the same condition, so why couldn't he help the smaller male? Why was he being blocked out? Why...

There were no answers for why. Izaya was simply a flea bastard, and would rather suffer in silence. Shizuo knew that. He didn't know what he expected really. To walk into the apartment and have the louse run into his arms, telling him his life story? No, this was Izaya Orihara. The man was an enigma in himself. One of the many reasons the bodyguard hated him.

Yet...did he hate him? All the shit he took from Shinra over the years about maybe being friends one day with the man, maybe setting aside their differences and realizing their similarities... All of it seemed to be coming true. Izaya had driven himself crazy just for him. That wasn't hatred at all.

Shizuo aimlessly traced the tiles with his hands, letting the hot water pour over him. His mind was an array of foreign feelings he had never dealt with before.

_"Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Little Shizuo finally got some fucking action!" _Delic's voice flowed through his mind. The blonde frowned. He had forgotten that it had been weeks since he stopped taking his medication.

"Shut it. That was probably a one time thing anyway," he hissed quietly.

_"Oh, no. You gotta go all the way with him now. He's an interesting one indeed! Too fun to watch. When I met him, he barely even flinched at my remarks. He turned a little red, but nothing too bad." _Ah, yes. Delic had indeed met the informant.

"What did you say to him?"

_"Nothing too bad. Just that I would fuck him. But looks like you may beat me to it!" _Mocha eyes narrowed.

"Deal with your own flea, and let me deal with mine." He froze when he realized he had just said his flea. _His flea._ It came so easily. Izaya should be... No! One time thing, one time thing.

_"Shizuo. Orihara-san is in bad shape." _The gentle voice of Tsugaru stated.

"You don't think I know that? What am I supposed to do about it when he won't let me help him?" This was a touchy subject for Shizuo.

_"Take him to Shinra. If he cracks, he risks losing himself forever. If the personalities begin to manifest in everyday life, that's the last step before..." _The words made Shizuo shudder under the hot water.

"Why should I care? Why do I need to handle this burden?"

_"Shizuo. You're in love with Orihara-san."_

* * *

><p>Izaya was on the floor, having a mini-meltdown. Remembering his surroundings, he hurriedly picked up the pieces of the shattered plate from the floor, tossing them in the garbage can before resuming his psychotic episode. He looked up at the apathetic stare of Roppi.<p>

"Why is it just you? Do the...others not know they can manifest too?" he asked quietly.

"They don't yet. It's only a matter of time though. Trust me, if you have to hear Psyche all the time you really _will_ snap," Roppi explained. Izaya grumbled, hitting his head against the hard surface of the floor.

"This is ridiculous...fucking ridiculous," he said, trying to desperately avoid the cold gaze on him.

"I don't see what the big deal is, really. Just a few pills and you'll be good as new. It's not like it's a filthy disease or something."

"It's a very big deal! Only humans need help from other humans! I am on a whole other level! If I go on medication, what will that say about me? 'Oh, I'm Izaya Orihara. Worship me even though I'm as fucked up as all the rest of you!'" he snapped. Roppi rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and finding you on a kitchen floor talking to yourself wouldn't be at all an indication of how fucked up you are," his personality stated sarcastically. The informant glared up at him.

"Shut up! Go away or at least out of my sight or something! I can't deal this when Shizu-chan is here."

"I think it'll be good for both of you for him to find you like this. Honestly, if you have a breakdown it may be the only way you'll accept help. Shizuo already knows there's something up with you. You already know that though. You're trying not to worry him because you care so much for him." Roppi's logical voice was pounding through his ears. Izaya put his hands over them, blocking him out.

"I don't care! I don't! I'm in complete control over this! Just go away! Go away, go away, go awaaaaayyyyy!" he said repeatedly, thrashing about on the floor. A grip on his shoulder startled him, and he screamed in rage and terror while trying to escape.

"Izaya! What the hell is wrong with you?" came Shizuo's voice, flooding through his head. He opened his eyes, reaching out to touch him, touch his _sanity._

"Shizu-chan...Shizu-chan..." he whimpered as he climbed into the confused brute's lap. Shizuo was dumbstruck, unsure of what to do. He brushed his fingers through Izaya's hair, sensing how horribly fragile he was. He had never heard the flea scream like that.

"What happened?" he asked. Izaya just shook his head, refusing to speak. He inhaled Shizuo's scent deeply, again and again. The blond simply sat on the cold floor, letting the raven do whatever calmed him down.

"It's almost time to sleep," Izaya finally mumbled into his neck. Shizuo blinked.

"I need a cover or something. I'll crash on the couch."

"No! You'll sleep in my bed with me!" The high pitched squeak came from the raven's mouth, but sounded almost nothing like him. Shizuo met his eyes, which were wide with fear.

"Izaya?"

Blinking, Izaya recovered.

"I just...I want you to. My bed is big enough for both of us. Please?" he asked. Shizuo sighed.

"Fine. Whatever helps you."

Shizuo stood from his spot on the floor, Izaya along with him. Izaya had his thin arms wrapped around Shizuo's neck, holding on for dear life. Entering the bedroom, the blond sat him on the soft surface, before he crawled over him to the other side. Izaya had been right, his bed _was_ pretty huge. He settled under the duvet, trying to get comfortable. Then he felt Izaya's body moving closer to him, seeking warmth. Shizuo blinked, and then shifted his body to curl around the smaller one, trying to ease his troubles. He could feel the informant shaking.

"Izaya…tell me what's wrong. I won't even say anything negative about it. I just wanna know," he sighed in an exasperated voice.

"I'm cold," Izaya said simply.

They lay together under the expensive cover that still smelled just like Izaya. The brute was gently rubbing circles in the pale skin of the smaller man's arms, still feeling him shake. The raven jumped when the silence was broken.

"Did…you mean what you said earlier? I'm your sanity?" Shizuo asked in the darkness.

"I did," was the whispered reply. The blond frowned.

"That's… I mean, I'm just as fucked up as you. How am I your sanity?"

"Shizu-chan, just because you're not well either doesn't mean you can't provide comfort. Knowing you're here with me makes me feel…safe. You were right earlier you know," Izaya explained. The larger man's brow furrowed.

"Right about what?"

"I am very much aware that you've been going through this longer than me. You know what to expect, and that's comforting to me. I…like having you around. If anything just to observe you. Seeing a monster in his natural habitat is just too fun!"

The sweetness of the conversation ended there as the informant giggled under the duvet. Typical Izaya, still a douchebag even in private. Shizuo couldn't help but grin, though. He noticed the shaking had subsided.

"Are you going to at least tell me why you were in the floor?" he asked gruffly.

"Nope~."

And Shizuo pushed him out of the bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, the two parted ways. Shizuo left for work and Izaya went to his computer. Since Shiki was gone all week, he didn't have too much work to do. Instead, he decided to do some research on an all too familiar topic. He went to the search bar and typed in <em>Multiple Personality Disorder.<em> Instantly, the monitor was filled with various pages on the subject. He chose the top rated one, clicking on the hyperlink.

_Multiple personality disorder, also known as Dissociative Identity Disorder, is an extreme..._blah blah blah. It sounded like Shinra wrote this article. He skimmed down the page, looking for the symptoms. _Voices, extreme mood swings, loss of memory…hallucinations. _There it was, in black and white. He clicked _more info_ beside the symptom "_hallucinations"_.

"_In severe cases, it is not uncommon for the alternates to pick up a separate life of their own. They can all be seen and heard by the patient in everyday life, acting like separate beings. If this occurs, immediate help…" _Izaya exited out of the page. So he had a worse case than Shizuo? How…ludicrous. Why was he progressing so fast? Why did Shizuo have better control over it? It made no sense.

Namie walked in a little later, seeing him swear at his computer. She stared at him for a few seconds before she went to her own space. If he was having some sort of breakdown, she would rather not be involved in it. She gathered her files, and began to skim through them. The noise from the computer desk only escalated. When she looked up at him again, he had his face in his hands, mumbling muffled curses through his fingers.

"Orihara-san. If you're going to be dramatic all day at least do it in your room," she stated flatly. He shot a glare at her.

"Either ignore me or go home," he hissed. He returned to the research, none of it relieving his stress. Most of them said without treatment the hallucinations would only escalate. Groaning, he turned off the damn monitor. He stood up and walked to his room, slamming the door behind him. Namie had flinched at the loud noise, cursing silently at the frazzled man.

"Damn I'm still tired…" Izaya muttered to himself. He was having trouble falling asleep. "_Insomnia is quite common," _the website had said. He flung himself face down on his bed. The space he and the monster had shared the night before… He could still smell Shizuo on these covers. He closed his eyes, breathing in.

_"Iza-chaaaan! Hey, Iza-chan!" _Psyche shattered the silence.

"What?" he grumbled.

_"Why don't you go to sleep? Let me take over for __a while~!" _

"You don't like doing my job. It scares you. Besides, it won't help me any. If you use my body, it won't get any rest."

_"__But your mind will be rested! Just give me a list of instructions and I'll follow them!" _It was almost impossible to argue with him. Sighing, Izaya gave in.

"You are to follow _everything _exactly! If you do, I'll let you see Tsugaru." There was a loud "yaaaay!" in his mind. He shuffled through his dresser drawers, looking for a notepad. He wrote a detailed list of the files he had to have, and where to write the information down. Psyche swore to do it, and Izaya was gone, fading into the peace of his own mind.

* * *

><p>Namie was cleaning coffee off of her small desk. When the informant had slammed his door, she was so startled she spilled her caramel latte everywhere. She glanced up when she saw the cause of her spill come prancing out of his bedroom. He was dressed in a white coat and <em>pink <em>headphones. Blinking in astonishment, she watched him head to the computer, looking at a piece of paper as he went.

"Uwah…this is so complicated!" he whined. He pushed the "power" button Izaya had drawn a picture of, and began to follow the list directly. Skimming down the pages, he yawned.

"No wonder Iza-chan was so tired. This is boooorrrrriiinnngggg. But it's to see Tsu-chan, so I will be strong!"

Namie was watching him warily. She knew he was a bit of an eccentric, but to emerge in white clothes and pink headphones seemed crazy, even for him. She stared at him typing slowly. He had to check every key before he pressed it. That was odd… Izaya typed faster than anyone she had ever met in her entire life. Continuing to stare, she noticed his demeanor. He was glancing quickly from the paper to the screen, eyes wide and confused. He had no clue what he was doing. Then, he looked up at her. She noted the magenta glow in his gaze.

"Miss, you work here, right? Can you help me?" he whined. Namie didn't know what to think. What was Izaya trying to pull? She stood from her chair and walked behind him. The screen was a jumbled mess of words, none of them organized.

"What are you trying to do? You have to format these," she hissed. An innocent gaze looked up at her.

"I don't know what that means! Help me!" he whined again. Scowling, she began to put the files in the correct format. He watched her in awe as she finished changing the margins and entering a code at the top.

"You should be able to handle it from here. If this is all some little test to see if I pay attention or not, I hope I passed Orihara-san," she stated blandly. He frowned.

"Orihara-san? Oh, _Iza_-chan! Haha, it was no test. I really didn't know! Thank you!" He returned his pink gaze to the screen, finishing the code entries. She looked at him for a few more moments, before she went to her own desk again.

Psyche looked at the list again. It was finished. He had done it! Whirling in his chair, he began to sing.

"I did it! I get to see Tsu-chan~! And we're gonna kiss and one-up mean ol' Hibi-chaaaan!" he flailed his feet in happiness, continuing to whirl in his chair. He stood from the large work space, and pranced over to the nice lady who had helped him.

"Thank you again, Miss! I really like your hair, it's long and pretty! I'll be sure to tell Iza-chan to give you a raise!" With that, he skipped back into the bedroom. Namie had no clue what had just happened, but a raise sounded good. _That _much, she had understood.

Psyche jumped happily on the large bed, celebrating his success.

_"Iza-chan! Wake up, I did it! Iza-chan!" _he sang, waiting for the man's response. It didn't come. There was silence, until:

_"He's out co__ld. Just let him sleep for a little while," s_aid Roppi's bored voice. Psyche frowned.

_"Why is Iza-chan so sleepy?" _he thought.

_"Because of us. Now shut the hell up before you wake him up!"_. Psyche shuddered. Roppi truly was frightening! He rose from the bed, looking around the organized room. Iza-chan really was a clean fellow. Nothing looked out of place, except for a black tie that was on the floor. He wondered if the original raven knew it was there. Stooping, he picked it up. Then, a thought crossed his mind.

"This is Shizu-Shizu's!" he exclaimed excitedly. Why would the blond's tie be in his room? He thought for a moment. He hadn't been keeping tabs on Iza-chan's life recently. He remembered the previous morning, how upset Iza-chan had been when he heard that he was forcibly taken control of. But Psyche just wanted to help. After that, he had been frightened of him, because his face looked like Roppi's angry face. Two Roppis were a scary thought.

But why was the blond's tie in the raven's room? It was an interesting development indeed. Maybe the two were friends now? Something more? Roppi had said that they liked each other. Or at least he had said that Iza-chan liked Shizu-Shizu. He was shook from his thoughts when he heard an odd vibrating sound. He looked around, trying to locate the source of the unfamiliar noise. He found a phone on the dresser.

"Hellooo?" he spoke into the little device. There was a man's voice on the other line.

_"Izaya! It'__s Shinra! I'm calling from a blocked number so you would have to answer me! Now tell me, have you seen Shizuo? He really needs to have a check-up!" _Pink eyes blinked.

"Is something wrong with Shizu-Shizu?" he asked the man named Shinra.

_"Not yet, but if h__e doesn't come in there could be consequences. And really, Izaya. Would you stop giving him ridiculous nicknames? You know it pisses him off." _

"Iza-chan is asleep. But I'll tell him when he wakes up. I have to tell him to give Shizu-Shizu his tie back too! If you see him, tell him to come get it! He must've left it here one night! Bye, Shin-chan!" With that, the giddy man hung up on the mystery person that was named Shinra. Saying his nicknames were silly had made him a little upset. He put a lot of thought into those! He took the notepad Iza-chan had written the instructions on and flipped the page, writing the man a message for when he awoke.

* * *

><p>The first thing Izaya noticed when he opened his eyes was that his apartment was still standing. The second thing was his clothes. He was still dressed in the flashy white get-up, and his body was thrown across the floor. He groaned as he stood, his joints popping as he went. Sleeping on the floor was not his favorite past time. Especially when there was a bed right beside him. He changed into his usual v-neck black shirt and pants. Izaya slid into his trademark fur trimmed jacket, and left the room. Namie looked at him as he strode past her.<p>

"So you're done playing dress-up?" she asked him. He raised a brow.

"I don't know what you mean," he replied. Her gaze shifted back down to her work.

"Looks like you're back to normal. Well, normal for you." He continued out the door when he was stopped yet again.

"Oh, you gave me this and told me to give it to you later. I guess you meant later like now. I don't get how writing yourself a note is a good hobby, but I guess since you don't have any friends…" Namie said as she handed him a folded up piece of paper. He glared at her as he continued out the door. Upon opening it, he read the horrid writing that belonged to Psyche.

_"Iza-chan!_

_I finished your assignment~! The nice lady in your living room helped me; you should give her a raise! Someone named Shinra called and asked about Shizu-Shizu. He said our nicknames were stupid. Hope you slept well, _

_Psyche :3"_

Izaya grinned at the message, remembering how Shinra truly did despise his constant teasing of the brute. He stopped when he saw more written at the bottom of the page.

"_P.S. Shizu-Shizu left his bow tie in your room. I told Shin-chan to remind him about it later."_

"YOU WHAT?" Izaya yelped, earning a few stares from passersby. Psyche had just told the spectacled man that he had been seeing Shizuo, had been spending time with him, had had the man _in _his apartment. Cursing, he started down the street, deciding that number one on his list of favorite things to do would cheer him up.


	17. Playing

_You guys seriously rock! I'm glad to clear up any confusion that may have developed earlier. I assure you, I've done my research on the disorder. Of course I may tweak things a bit. It's more interesting that way~ Things will definitely go downhill for our poor little informant, since he's too vain to accept help. I feel like since it's chapter 17 I should write another disclaimer... So, I Sachi, do NOT own Durarara! or any of the characters. But I am planning on kidnapping Izaya for eternity... *fangirl flail* On with the story! :3_

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><p><strong>Playing<strong>

This was one of those times Izaya was glad to be a loner. He made his way through the crowded streets easily, no one bothering to stop him. It had always been this way. When he wanted to be seen, he could easily be the center of attention. Other times it was easier to blend in. Especially now, when he was so mixed up about things.

If Shinra did, in fact, start asking questions, what would he say? What _could _he say? That he was Shizuo's new therapist? That he started this whole thing unaware of what he was getting himself into? That his method of therapy thus far had led to the dissolving of his mental state and sexual situations with the brute? No...he would lie. He always lied, he always would lie. It was much simpler than being honest. Fuck, he even lied to himself.

The small man looked up at the dark sky. The moon was only half full, the stars were the reigning light forms tonight. He couldn't remember when the sun had set. He knew it was up when he left, but he wasn't really paying attention to it. Things like that had been happening too frequently lately. He had always been skilled in paying attention to everything around him. Everything, all the time. But now... Yeah, now.

Izaya looked down from the roof of a large building. This was the spot he often chose when he wanted to observe his little humans. Garnet eyes scanned the dark streets, settling on a pair of teenage boys. He frowned. He knew those boys. Masaomi and...A/C kid. Ah, Ryuugamine! He strained to hear their conversation, realizing he was going to have to get closer. He jumped down the large building, landing in an alley behind it.

"Mikado! Mikado, you're taking this WAY too seriously!" Masaomi was saying. The teen's posture was one that was mixed in defense and desperation. Ryuugamine looked at him harshly.

"I'm not! You said you were done talking with guys like that! Why were you...endangering yourself again?" the blue eyed boy demanded. The other sighed.

"I didn't search them out or anything. They just knew me from a long time ago. I promised you I wouldn't put myself in that situation again, and I haven't. You think I would lie to you? I'm your best friend!" Golden eyes looked pleadingly at Ryuugamine.

"Just drop it... I believe you, okay? Just drop it."

Izaya emerged from behind the building, not at all expecting what he saw next. Masaomi actually strode forward and embraced the dark haired teen. They stayed like that, under the streetlights. The informant couldn't help but marvel at the scene of friendship. Of course, true to his nature, he had to break up the love scene.

"Ah, what have we here? A lover's spat?" he asked, emerging from the shadows. Ryuugamine turned red and Masaomi glared openly at the intruder.

"What the hell do you want?" Golden eyes snapped up. Izaya laughed.

"Nothing. I was walking by and heard raised voices so I thought I would see what I could do to help." The teens looked skeptical.

"Um...Orihara-san, did you need anything?" Ryuugamine asked gently. He was looking at the taller man with a face filled with...sympathy? Why was he looking like that? Masaomi glanced at his friend before he too looked closer at the informant. They were staring openly, both wearing the same expression of surprise and concern. The latter emotion was lacking more on Masaomi's part, but he definitely looked surprised.

"Need anything? Not particularly. I'm simply out enjoying this lovely night. Why are you two out and about?" Izaya asked, still noting their odd expressions.

"We're going to meet Anri. _We're _going to Russia Sushi for dinner." Masaomi emphasized the "we're" to make it clear that it was just going to be the three of them. Ryuugamine glanced at him before turning to Izaya.

"But... if you need to come with us, you can. I have a coupon." This threw Izaya for a loop. What the hell?

"No thanks. I need to be on my way. See you love birds later!" He was going through the dark city again, wondering why the A/C kid was so nice all the time.

"Mikado, what the hell? Don't invite people like that!" Masaomi snapped. The other teen looked at him sternly, silencing him.

"You saw him too. Something's up with him. He looked awful."

"I fail to see where this concerns us," Masaomi scowled.

"I was just thinking that if it's enough to mess up someone like Orihara-san...it must be pretty horrible. Maybe we should be on our toes?" Mikado looked up innocently.

"Agreed. Now let's go pick up my future girlfriend!" The gold-eyed teen broke into a run, closely followed by his best friend.

* * *

><p>Shizuo stood outside a bar, smoking a cigarette. Tom had gone inside to negotiate payments with someone, and the blond didn't want to be dragged into an argument. For whatever reason, whenever he went into a bar, a fight always ensued. Drunk people seemed to be braver than the average person, and liked to challenge strong people. Strong in this case usually meant that half the bar would be destroyed and the drunkards would be knocked senseless.<p>

Violence was really so troublesome. Somehow, he always managed to find himself in the middle of it though. Whenever he got too mad...that was it. He severed any notions of friendship with his reputation, and usually ended up alone. He had always been alone, aside from Shinra who wanted to study him. Later on Kadota had entered the picture and then...

Shizuo wasn't willing to admit that Tsugaru had been right. Far from it, he only acknowledged that it wasn't hate. Love seemed to be a strong word. He really liked milk, but he wouldn't say he _loved _it. In retrospect, it all seemed a little absurd. The brute couldn't love anyone, much less the damn flea. They simply had a reliance on each other now. Each being too fucked up to function with anyone else.

At first, Shizuo hadn't been too keen on the idea of developing a friendship with the annoying man. But after a while, he couldn't help but think of the benefits. This way, he wasn't burdening Shinra with all of the prescriptions. He could use his strength when angry, because the damn flea was so slippery that he probably wouldn't hit him anyway. Now it was just the thought of having someone to _talk to_ who wouldn't think he was crazy. He could talk openly to Izaya, something he had never had before. Even Celty couldn't relate with what he was going through.

Kasuka was still scheduled to be gone for a few more weeks. Even when he returned, he still would be unaware of what was going on with his older brother. Shizuo had been hiding his disorder his whole life, and it would continue to be hidden. If Kasuka found out... Well, it wasn't going to happen, so there was no reason to think about it.

Finishing his cigarette, he ground it on the pavement. He looked up at Tom, who was exiting the establishment.

"Shizuo! You're still heeeerrrreeeee," the dreadlocked man slurred. Shizuo looked at his watch. Five minutes the man had been in that bar... How the hell was he so drunk? Sighing, he lifted his boss and began to carry him across the street. He raised his hands, trying to flag down a taxi.

"Shizuuuoooo. That's such a funny name. Like a foreign food or something. Or a bug. Wouldn't it be funny if you were a bug?" The blond was doing his best to ignore the man. It wasn't the first time he had been in this situation with him. Tom loved to drink, but wasn't a pro at holding his liquor. So, being a bodyguard, Shizuo did his duty and threw him in the back of the taxi.

"Take the long way, and make the ride bumpy. And when you throw him out, make sure he hits his head," he told the driver, who looked at him like he was insane.

"Damn, man. That's some harsh stuff! What did he do to you?"

"He called me a bug."

The taxi drove away, turning sharply and almost hitting a curb. Shizuo grinned at the harsh treatment he knew his boss was receiving, and lit another cigarette. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was happy. _Happy. _The word was as foreign as the feeling. Since he had started talking with the flea, he was so much better. It was difficult to explain. Like when one had a horrifying experience and kept it to themselves for years. The relief they felt when they shared with someone. That's how he felt. He took a slow drag from his cancer stick, smirking at how the past two weeks had gone. He turned when he passed Simon.

"Shizuo! You eat sushi?" Simon asked him.

"Nah. Don't you ever go inside the damn restaurant? Seems like it's you that's making people afraid to come here," Shizuo grinned teasingly. The Russian laughed.

"Ahaha, Shizuo has funny comment! What fun is it to go inside? I like the people." The large man motioned around the street. Ah, yes. The blond understood his desire to be around others. Continuing to smoke and listening to the Russian harass people, he looked up when he heard running footsteps.

"Mikado! Masaomi, Anri! You hungry for sushi?" asked Simon.

"Sure am! I have a coupon for you, Simon," Mikado said brightly, handing the man the slip of paper.

"Ah, come in, come in!" the Russian shouted and opened the doors wide. Masaomi and Anri went after him, but Mikado stayed behind. He looked at Shizuo.

"Heiwajima-san. Can I ask you something?" Instead of a reply, the blond blew some smoke at him. He hated questions.

"Well, it'll only take a second. We passed Orihara-san on the way here and he looked... Well, he didn't look great. Do you know anything?" Mikado asked.

"Why does it concern you? The damn flea can take care of himself, trust me. I've been trying to kill him for years," the brute grunted.

"It doesn't concern me really... I just wanted to make sure he isn't planning anything. He's a scary man, you know. So it's a little unsettling to see him look so shaken. Anyway, thanks for your time." He followed his friends inside Russia Sushi. Sighing, Shizuo ground out the remainder of his cigarette. He left in the direction of his apartment, refusing to think of the flea's panicked face from before.

* * *

><p>Shizuo opened his door with a loud sigh. He would check on Izaya later, he decided. He was too tired to do it now. When he flicked the light switch, he was beyond surprised. There the informant was, asleep on his couch. Shizuo walked over to him, leaning down on the floor beside him.<p>

"Oi, Izaya. Izaya!" he poked the smaller man's face but was met with no response. Groaning, he took the cover from his bed and threw it over the unconscious informant. He himself usually kicked it off when he slept anyway, being as warm-natured as he was. Kicking off his shoes and taking off his shirt and pants, he turned off the light. He felt his way in the darkness to his bed, and then settled under his sheet. He stared at the ceiling trying to think of a good reason for the man to be in his apartment. Uninvited, AGAIN. He was startled when he felt weight on the bed beside him.

"Izaya?" Shizuo asked in the darkness. He felt the blanket thrown over him as the raven snuggled against him.

"Mmm?" Izaya answered, barely awake.

"Why are you here?"

"To see you...but I forgot why now." The informant hid his face in the blond's bare chest.

"But...you're okay? Nothing bad happened, right?" Shizuo asked, thinking of Mikado's words earlier.

"I'm just fine now. Let's talk more tomorrow, Shizu-chan, I'm so tired..." Izaya yawned. Groaning, Shizuo wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"I'll kill you for worrying me tomorrow..." he grumbled before settling into a comfortable silence with the man he used to hate wrapped securely in his arms.


	18. Original Session

_Woke up this morning horribly un-happy because I had a math test. (I huffin' hate math) and then I checked my phone. princessofd, your comment made my whole day! As always, icy warm you're horribly appreciated and Braverly-Homunculus, FallingforWerewolves, kimikokawaii, NamiZexi, mika siam .71192, and anyone who's reading and just not the reviewing type, THANK YOU! I know I've had others too but I'm thanking the recent reviewers~ it makes me wanna keep writing! So, as promised here's some virtual love. On with the storyyyyyy!_

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><p><strong>Original Session<strong>

Izaya returned to consciousness far sooner than he would've liked. His body still felt groggy and un-rested. He wondered if he would ever feel like he'd gotten a good night's sleep again. At first, there was a slight case of amnesia. He couldn't remember why his bed felt different, or why he was so warm. This was resolved when he found himself staring into the chocolate eyes of the fortissimo of Ikebukuro. The monster was watching him thoughtfully. Apparently he had been awake for awhile, since he didn't appear tired. Izaya realized he was wrapped so closely into Shizuo that he was probably the one hindering him from leaving the bed.

"Morning, louse," Shizuo stated matter of factly.

"Indeed it is, Shizu-chan," Izaya replied. "How long have you been awake?"

"Bout a half-hour. I didn't want to wake you up."

Izaya contemplated this as he attempted to rise from the bed, only to be forcefully yanked back down. Shizuo strengthened his grip.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. We can't stay in bed all day. There's things to be done, people to harass. Don't you have a job too?" Izaya asked, a smirk on his face.

"I don't have to go in until after 4. Tom has a hangover and a severe bump on his head. Apparently his cab driver threw him out too hard. Now don't move, I'm comfortable."

The smaller man sighed before settling in beside his forceful pillow. They stared at each other, neither saying a word. If this had been a couple of weeks ago, the entire apartment would be destroyed by Shizuo trying to kill the damn flea. If it was a single week ago, it would have been surprising for the two to find themselves so comfortable around the other. Now, it was entirely normal for the two to wake up together. It seemed to be happening much more frequently though.

"You look like you didn't sleep at all," Shizuo said quietly. "Why were you here last night, anyway?"

"Ah, that is a mystery. I was walking through Ikebukuro and somehow ended up here. Honestly, I don't remember, but at least I ended up here with you and not lost in the city somewhere," Izaya grinned.

"You don't get lost. You know everything about this city. Even though I always tell you not to enter it to begin with. Slippery bastard."

"Mmm, you talk so mean to the one you're holding so closely, protozoan waste."

"Leech."

"Neanderthal."

"…Tick."

"Cro magnon."

"Don't call me things I don't know!" Shizuo snapped, losing the battle.

"Ahaha, you're so much fun, Shizu-chan. Cro magnon were some of the first homo sapiens. Along with homo habilis, homo erectus and Neanderthals. What most people call cavemen, so to speak. The fact that you didn't know makes it funnier~."

"Shut up and go back to sleep. I like you better that way, you fucking flea!"

"But when I'm asleep I can't bother you as effective-" and he was silenced by a heated pair of lips on his own. Blinking in surprise, he opened his mouth for the brute who wasted no time before delving his tongue inside. It was another form of battle, but this time Izaya let himself lose.

"Hah…to think it took me over eight years to learn how to shut you up," Shizuo huffed, connecting their mouths again. The raven lost himself in the connection, letting the blond do whatever he wanted. Finally, they broke apart for some trivial air. Shizuo leaned his forehead against Izaya's, staring into deep crimson eyes.

"That's more effective than a 'good morning'," Izaya purred.

"I'll remember that next time," Shizuo grinned.

They stayed tangled together for a few minutes more, before Izaya rose. Instead of pulling him down again, Shizuo rose with him, raising a brow in question.

"As much as it pains you, Shizu-chan, we need to have another session. I can't have you relapsing into a mental meltdown, can I?"

Shizuo groaned loudly, falling back down on the bed. Izaya recognized it as a tantrum. This grown 23 year old man was behaving like a child.

"Really, it's not the end of the world. It's part of your therapy." The raven laughed, observing the hostile look of his bed-mate. He was met with a glare.

"Just tell me who I need to be today, louse," Shizuo snapped.

"Who? Yourself, silly. Today is our session. We're going in order, or have you forgotten? Since last time it was Tsuki and Roppi, now it's our turn again. Unless you'd rather skip?" the informant asked wryly.

"Really? It's just us today? I can handle that then!" The blond lept out of bed, pulled on some clothes, and headed for the small kitchen. Izaya couldn't help but laugh again at the entire childish display. He followed the tall man out into the small space, stretching.

"Your bed wasn't as uncomfortable as it looked. But your couch was. I think I have a crick in my neck," he whined looking up at the brute.

"Don't start knocking my place. If you didn't like it you shouldn't have slept on it," Shizuo stated. Izaya poked out his bottom lip in a slight pout.

"You don't care if my neck's sore? Such a monster indeed! Here I am, helping your mental state, and my thanks is to suffer with neck pain from _your _couch. As for knocking your place, all I said was that your couch was uncomfortable. It's lumpy and cheap too. And your walls are thin. And drafty!" Izaya teased.

"Then why are you still here?" Shizuo snarled, his feathers easily ruffled.

"Because you're here," Izaya shrugged, walking around the taller man to grab a slice of bread and put it in the toaster. The blond stood where he was, his face turning red from the smaller man's words.

"Is…that all you're eating?" Shizuo asked, looking away.

"Mm-hmm. It's enough for breakfast. Besides, I don't feel much like cooking anything," Izaya replied.

"I could cook for you…" Shizuo looked down at his feet as he said this, face turning redder. Izaya chuckled.

"Now, now, Shizu-chan. Don't start being so nice to me all of a sudden. I'm not used to it," Izaya said in his most velvet tone. "Besides, I doubt I would like your cooking. It's probably unhealthy."

"I have healthy stuff! I have the same brand of eggs as you! And the same milk! So either I'm healthy too, or you're just as unhealthy as I am!" Shizuo reasoned.

"Ah, so you do. We can save that for next time though. I'm really not all that hungry," Izaya stated, taking out the now done toast and biting into it. The brute shrugged, settling on some cereal. As he poured the sugary substance into the bowl, he glanced at the raven, who was watching him intently.

"_What_?" Shizuo snapped.

"Nothing at all. I've just never seen a grown man eat cereal that has a leprechaun on the box," Izaya smirked.

After the playful banter, they headed to the couch. Shizuo laughed when Izaya sunk into it, cursing quietly. The raven pulled out his notepad, getting ready to write down whatever the blond said. Carmine eyes glanced up expectantly.

"Have a seat, Shizu-chan. The sooner we start, the sooner it's over and done with."

Shizuo grimaced, but laid flat against the cushions. He placed his head in Izaya's lap, looking up at the amused man.

"Find me more comfortable than your couch?" The informant chuckled.

"You're not as lumpy," the brute grinned. "So, what am I talking about today?"

"I've been doing research recently, Shizu-chan. And most experts believe that the type of disorder you have is caused by severe trauma, suffered usually in childhood years."

"Trauma? Like what?" The blond asked blankly.

"Like rape, abuse, neglect. Witnessing a murder can cause it. Stuff like that. You said Tsugaru appeared after you hurt someone badly? Tell me about them," Izaya said like he was commenting on a movie. Shizuo gulped, he loathed this subject.

"Do I have to…?" he almost whispered. The raven looked down at him, face thoughtful.

"Of course, silly. It's important." Noting the look of turmoil in the larger man's features, he gently combed his fingers through yellow locks in comfort. Shizuo sighed.

"Most people…were already afraid of me even when I was a kid. Kasuka was the only one who really wasn't. Well, him and Shinra. I really didn't have anyone that wanted to help me, you know? It was a lonely sort of existence…Then this woman came in the picture. She was really nice; she used to give me bottled milk a lot. She said if I drank it, I wouldn't get hurt as much."

Izaya continued his ministrations, noticing how tense the man in his lap became.

"Go on, Shizu-chan," he prompted quietly. Shizuo put his hands over his face.

"So then I started to really like her. Not really in a crush sort of way but…she made me feel safe, normal. Kasuka and I would walk by her store everyday just so we could see her. He liked her too, I think. But one day…there were these guys harassing her. They were trying to…you know…rape her, I think. So I stepped in. I was trying to _save _her… Me, a monster was trying to save her! Haha, I should've known it wouldn't…." he broke off, still hiding his face. The informant could feel him shaking, and he dropped the notepad to the side. Wrapping both hands in Shizuo's, he pulled them from the larger man's face, forcing his gaze to meet his own.

"It's in the past, Shizu-chan. Just tell me so you can let it go," Izaya said soothingly.

"…I went in to help her. And I lost it. Totally fucking lost it. Next thing I know, the whole store was a wreck. The guys were out cold but…so was she. She was under the rubble of the store and…she wasn't moving… Being the coward I was, I ran. I ran away from her. I didn't want her to…wake up and see me there. I didn't want her to think of me the same way as everyone else thought of me… We went back a few days later and she was working, wrapped in bandages. I…never went back… I never saw her again…" Shizuo finished, his grip on the smaller man's hands tightening with every sentence. Izaya grimaced, but didn't try to yank his hands away. He let the brute use his body as an outlet for his frustrations.

"You stopped writing," Shizuo grunted after a moment.

"I won't write something so personal down. Nor will I forget it. Rest assured, it's in my memory now, same as yours. That was traumatic indeed," Izaya said gently. Shizuo released his hands and sat up, now eye level with the informant.

"So does this mean that you had a traumatic experience too? Since you're also split apart too now," he said.

"Hmm, no I don't believe so. You forget that I did that to myself. My backgrounds are entirely humble and painfully ordinary. I was forced to create my own fun most of the time. Unfortunately, my type of fun tends to anger other people, as you know. I met you around the same time I learned what I enjoyed. My parents were never around too much, so it helped to pass the time," Izaya explained. Shizuo moved closer.

"Flea, you said neglect was a form of trauma. It's abuse too," he said.

"Hmm, so I did," Izaya grinned as he leaned in.

"So we're both fucked up, huh?" Shizuo placed his hands on the smaller man's face.

"Apparently so~." The space between them closed. Izaya pushed the blond backwards, crawling on top of him. Their mouths were glued together, their hands were roaming. As they heatedly kissed, the conversation from before seemed to be a distant memory. Good. Izaya wanted it gone. Only he could cause Shizuo so much turmoil.

"This…isn't how patients treat their therapists…" The raven groaned as his bottom lip was nibbled.

"Then the therapist shouldn't invite the patient to do it by not trying to stop him," Shizuo argued.

"That would imply that I wanted you to stop. Why would I do that?" Izaya asked as he kissed up the brute's jaw.

"Ah, fuck…Izaya…" Shizuo arched into his hold, heatedly connecting their lips again. Izaya kissed him slowly, letting their tongues wrap together.

"Shiz- Shizu-chan..."

"S-stop saying my name in that voice! Do you know what it makes me wanna do to you?" Shizuo hissed, feeling all his blood flow downward.

"Ahaha, you want to fuck me, Shizu-chan? Hmmm~?" Izaya asked as he licked the man's chin. The blond was starting to lose it by this point.

"Ah…do you remember…when you told me I was your sanity?" he growled.

"Of course I do. Because it's true." Izaya was moving his hand lower.

"Well…do you know what you are…to me?" Shizuo continued.

"What?" The hand was now at the hem of the blond's pants.

"You're…my therapy."

"You mean therapist," Izaya frowned, forcing his hand inside.

"Hah…no. I meant therapy…I meant-FUCK!" he hissed as the raven's hand met its destination. Those nimble fingers would be the death of him. They wrapped around the sensitive flesh, giving a few teasing strokes.

"Shizu-chan is so hard. Why are you already so turned on?" Izaya asked in his sultry voice. Shizuo's mind was swimming, blinded by white heat. He placed his hands on the smaller man's hips, willing him to continue. Izaya's pace quickened, his hand pumped him faster and faster. Shizuo arched, feeling intense pleasure and then…the hand was gone. Looking up, he saw the raven look at his phone, his expression annoyed.

"It seems I've just been given a male to track down," he said simply, making to get up.

"Hell no! You can't just leave me like this after starting all of that teasing shit! Finish what you started, flea!" Shizuo snarled, his arousal painful by this point. Izaya smirked down at him.

"Hmm, I'm afraid we can't do too much, because I really need to get going. So, I'll finish it quickly~." He pulled down Shizuo's pants and boxers, moving his body down to rest between the brute's legs.

"What are you-" was all Shizuo was able to make out before Izaya swallowed his cock. The blond's head hit the cushions, his whole body arching upwards trying to force himself into that delicious heat. Izaya gagged slightly, but didn't try to stop him. After making Shizuo remember such a painful experience, he felt he deserved the torture. Neither of them really having experience in this department caused it to be over rather quickly, and secretly Izaya was proud.

"Ah...Izaya..." Shizuo gargled as he found his release. Izaya swallowed as much as he could, but some still ended up dribbling down onto his chin. Smirking, he brought his thumb up to wipe through it, and forced Shizuo to watch as he licked his thumb clean. Shizuo hissed in a mixture of distaste and arousal, but didn't stop Izaya from fastening his pants and rising from the couch.

"Until later, Shizu-chan~."

Shizuo was still against the cushions when he heard his door open and close. He was shaking, barely able to move. "What the fuck just happened…" he asked himself.

There was a confused informant on the other side of the door, asking himself the same question.


	19. Reasoning

_I will put more of the alternates in, I promise. I just have to make it that far first, haha. I'm trying to make this story lengthy, but not so much so that it starts to get stale. If anyone has any requests, just let me know! I'm not above fanservice~ Now on with mah STORY!_

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><p><strong>Reasoning<strong>

Izaya made his way through the crowded streets, finding it hard to blend in. This was why he preferred traveling at night. In the bright sunlight, there were plenty of faces turned his way. Some pointed at him, others moved way to the side to let him pass. Ah, well. He _did _have quite the reputation.

"Oh, my dear little humans. Someday you'll appreciate what I do for you," he murmured to himself.

He was going to meet Celty. Izaya had found the man hiding in a run-down apartment building. It turned out that the mystery fellow had been stealing money from many gang members, framing _other _gang members, and trying to start a riot. While the informant could appreciate his plan, his methods left too much to be desired. He had left far too many footprints. Far too many traces of evidence. It would have been more surprising for him _not _to get caught.

Waiting underneath a bridge, Izaya leaned against the shaded wall. He was still so damn tired. It seemed no matter how much he slept, it was never enough. Sighing, he checked his watch. Celty should be arriving right about…now.

The cry of the Dullahan's horse could be heard bouncing off the walls of the old bridge. The few people who were there with Izaya left abruptly. They were simply too scared to find out what the source of the noise was. Typical humans. The black rider approached in the distance, stepping off her vehicle and moving closer to Izaya.

"Good afternoon, Celty," he said pleasantly, taking out his phone. "You took that silly fellow to this address, correct?" he added, showing her the screen. She nodded.

_[Shinra wanted me to ask you how Shizuo is.] _Her PDA read.

"_Amazingly good I'd bet…" _The informant thought idly, remembering the morning.

"And what makes Shinra think I would know that?" he dodged the question. She typed furiously on the keypad.

_[He called you yesterday and you told him that he had stayed at your apartment.]_

"Haha, obviously dear Shinra has no sense of humor! It was clearly a joke. Do you think I'd have that beast in my apartment? He'd tear me to shreds! I haven't seen him, really. If I do, I will call the doctor." he said, handing her the share of money she had earned. She cocked her head…er, helmet to the side thoughtfully.

_[Are you okay? You look different.] _The device read. Izaya frowned. He had been getting far too much of that recently. He could practically feel her non-existent eyes on him.

"Just fine, Celty. Tired, but fine nonetheless," he grinned, turning to leave. Her gloved hands grabbed his arm.

_[It's almost time for your check-up with Shinra too. Maybe you should go sooner than later? You're not looking too good.] _

Really, what was with all of these people? He was fine, damn it! Better than fine! He was a GOD!

"I said I'm FINE!" he snapped, yanking his arm away from her. He paused, noticing how she actually took a step back. Did he look that frightening?

"Ah…I mean…I just need a nap or something. Rest assured, I will be myself by tomorrow," he laughed dryly. It sounded fake, even to him.

_[Okay then. Get some sleep.] Wi_th that, she was gone. He watched as her bike glided across the pavement. Oh, right. It was a horse. Maybe he should think of it as _galloping _across the pavement?

"_Iza-chaaaan!" _Fuck. Just what he needed right now.

"What, Psyche?" he muttered to himself.

"_You were naughty with Shizu-Shizu!" _Ugh, naughty? Psyche acted like a child.

"So I was. I take it that means you saw everything?" he groaned.

"_Indeed we did, Orihara! Now it's entirely obvious where our feelings for the other personalities come from!" _came Hibiya's smug voice.

"There are no feelings on my part! I did it because I wanted to! No other reason!" Izaya growled.

"_Shut up, Izaya. You can lie all day long but we are part of you. We know better." _Ah, and enter Hachimenroppi. The informant pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"All I will acknowledge is that my feelings have…changed. But it's not affection that I feel! I want him better so that I can kill him. That's all there is to it. I can't sink as low as to kill a mentally ill protozoan. I want it level playing ground, like before," he explained, his voice rising with every word. People were staring now. Fuck them.

"_How can you try to convince us of that when even you're not convinced of it? Sounds like you're trying to make yourself believe that more than us," _Roppi spoke again.

"_Why do you care so much about it? You can't help who you love, Iza-chan," _Psyche added.

"It's not fucking love! I just told you what it was! Stop trying to put words in my mouth!" Izaya snarled, patience wearing thinner with each word.

"_Yeah right, Orihara. The only one hearing what they want here is you," _Hibiya chided.

"I'm not hearing-" Izaya began when he felt slight pressure on his shoulder. Turning, he looked into the wide eyes of a young female.

"Sir, are you okay?" she asked in a voice full of concern.

"Yeah…I was just…talking on my portable headset…" he lied horribly, dashing through the crowd. He had to get away, he had to get away.

* * *

><p>Shizuo played dumb the entire time Tom was bitching about his sore head.<p>

"Maybe you shouldn't have gotten so hammered," he had said during the tirade.

They spent most of the afternoon walking around aimlessly. Tom was too busy griping to look for anyone clearly. Finally, Shizuo snapped.

"Oi, where are we going anyway?" he asked, annoyed.

"Oh yeah. We're going to the Ralleyville apartment complex," Tom stated.

"The really shady complex? You know half of my enemies live in that place," Shizuo huffed.

"Your enemies are all over town, Shizuo. Now come on." The pair started toward the west exit. They passed large groups of people, all talking too loudly at once. It gave the brute a headache.

"Here we are," Tom said at last.

Ah, yes, the dilapidated building was indeed one of the Ralleyville apartments. Sighing loudly, Shizuo followed his boss inside. They searched for the man's apartment number. Apartment 2E wasn't there though. It was simply a door with no number on it anymore. Someone had pulled it off. Frowning, Tom went inside.

"Hello? Tom Tanaka here! I'm here for my payment!" he called. No response came.

"Maybe he moved," Shizuo suggested, kicking a chair that was lying on the floor. They were startled by a voice behind them.

"Nah, man. He was taken. Earlier today in fact. By the black rider!" a stocky man said from the hall. "You won't be seeing him no more, he's good as dead now."

"Celty took him? That means…the flea had something to do with it," Shizuo grumbled, remembering how Izaya had left earlier saying he had to track down a man.

"Shit, what awful luck! Guess I can't collect money from a dead man… This'll do," Tom said, picking up a video-game system and some games. Shizuo rolled his eyes.

The sky was turning darker now. Shizuo lit a cigarette as he made his way to Shinjuku. He would meet Izaya there instead, to avoid having to listen to the man bitch about his apartment. Izaya… Suddenly his mind reverted back to that morning. Blushing furiously, the blond shook his head.

"_So much for a onetime thing, Shizuo," _said Delic.

"_I'm glad for you! I like Izaya-san! Or, a part of him," _came Tsuki's gentle voice.

"Ugh, guys don't start," Shizuo grumbled. "I still don't even fully understand what happened."

"_It's called a blowjob," _Delic laughed shamelessly.

"_D-Delic! Don't be so vulgar!" _Tsuki whined as Shizuo choked on his smoke.

"_Easy there, children. If Shizuo doesn't want to talk about it then stop trying to make him," _Tsugaru chastised.

"_Who are you callin' a child?" _Delic hissed.

"_Ah…um, sorry Tsugaru…" _Tsuki apologized.

"Thanks," Shizuo said to his logical, calm side.

As he neared the border of Shinjuku, he was surprised to hear the cry of a horse and the screech of tires. He turned in time to see the Dullahan charging at him, full speed.

"Celty? What's up?" he asked the headless woman as she dismounted.

_[I should be asking you that! We haven't seen you in ages! Do you have a clue how worried Shinra has been?] _

"Oh, about that. I don't really need his help anymore… I'm kinda…you know. Seeing another therapist," he said sheepishly. He could feel her glare.

_[Maybe you should have told someone! He's been trying to get in touch with you for 2 weeks now! The last he heard was that Izaya was poking his head in your business and the next thing he knows you're gone!]_

Ah…maybe he should have told the spectacled man. But it would only raise questions, right?

"Sorry, sorry. It slipped my mind. Izaya gave up, I think. Haven't seen him."

_[So you really haven't been staying at his apartment some? He told Shinra that yesterday.] _

Mocha eyes widened as they read the screen. Why would the flea say that? Then a thought hit him.

"Did he sound alright? Like himself over the phone?" he asked.

_[A little high-pitched…he actually referred to himself as Iza-chan believe it or not. Whatever that means.] _

"_Psyche." _Shizuo thought. So the other personalities were coming out more frequently, even without his own alternates there as bait. Izaya really was losing it…

_[Shizuo, how long have we been friends now? Something's going on here and I want to know. Seeing as how Izaya just yelled at me I think I've earned it.] _Celty typed angrily.

"He yelled at you? For what?"

_[Who knows? All I said was that he looked bad. He did. If you haven's seen him lately he looks like a zombie almost. He snapped at me then just said he was tired. I know that man, regrettably. He's more than tired.]_

Yes, how Shizuo had indeed seen the informant lately. Probably more than anyone else had seen of him in a while. Izaya did look sickly recently. Skinnier, paler, sleepier. Just like a zombie, he agreed.

_[Why are you headed toward Shinjuku anyway? Are you going to hunt him down?] _

Fuck.

"Um…yeah. Beat his ass for all the trouble he's caused me over the years! I'll kill him!" Shizuo found it strangely hard to say these words anymore. There was no meaning behind them anymore; they were just words now.

_[Well watch out. He's in a mood. If you don't want to answer my questions that's fine. I'll tell Shinra I saw you today and that you looked good. You do look better, by the way. Whoever you're seeing is doing a good job.] _

Shizuo blinked in surprise. Celty had unknowingly just given Izaya a compliment.

"Yeah, see ya later." He waved as he continued to the flea's apartment. Maybe having Izaya for a therapist didn't suck after all… Oh, shit. Bad choice of words.


	20. Alternate Sessions: Part I

_As promised, I'm starting on the alternates again. Also, thanks again for the cute reviews! Tsugaru calling Delic and Tsuki children made me laugh too when I was writing it. Haha, it just seemed to fit the scenario. Sorry if it's a wee bit short, I'm working all weekend…ah, well. An update is an update! Story tiiiimmmeeeee!_

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Sessions Part I<strong>

Shizuo stood outside the familiar door, racked with indecision. Was he supposed to knock? They hadn't exactly discussed meeting up tonight… But then again, they hadn't discussed it last night either. He raised his hand toward the hard surface, arm outstretched and…nothing. He sighed in frustration. Why was this so fucking difficult? It was _Izaya. _Oh yeah, that's why it was difficult. It was Izaya. The decision was made for him when the door swung open revealing a strict-looking brunette woman. She looked at him with distaste, then turned her features into a forced smile.

"Hello, Shizuo," she said in a bored voice.

"Um…hey. How do you-?"

"I'm Namie Yagiri, Orihara-san's secretary," she explained.

Ah, so this was the woman Izaya was torturing. She did look easily riled.

"Oh so you just know everyone he knows then?" Shizuo asked sarcastically.

"Not quite. But I know enough about you from paperwork. He has some sort of fancy toward you, you know. Always writing stuff down about you."

At those words, Shizuo felt his heart leap. Yes, it was some sort of creeper fancy Izaya had always had with him. The flea got delight out of messing with him, he always had. But for someone who was with him often to notice something when she had never even met the blond…that was different. At least, it felt different.

"Oh…is he…here right now?" Suddenly, Shizuo felt awkward. What reason would he give this woman for visiting his so-called enemy? He really hadn't planned this out. Luckily, she never asked him.

"Yes. He's in his room. He's been there since this afternoon actually. He came in griping about a migraine and told me not to bother him unless it was a _dire _emergency," she scoffed.

"Has he ever done that before?" Shizuo asked.

"Not since yesterday. But at least today he didn't come out playing dress-up."

"Dress-up?"

"He was wearing a ridiculous white fluffy coat and pink headphones. Then he acted like he forgot how to do his own job and just… It's easier to say he's an imbecile. Anyway, I was leaving for the day before I ran into you. I'm assuming you know where his room is." And then she left.

Now Shizuo was faced with a new problem. Was he supposed to just idly walk into the flea's bedroom? It seemed…overly familiar. But then, they were being quite familiar nowadays, weren't they? And also…Izaya never knocked before he barged in. Thus, he didn't even give himself time to think it over before he opened the door to the louse's bedroom. There, he faced a sleeping informant.

Izaya was under the large covers, in a sort of ball. He had his knees pulled into his chest, and a very distraught look on his face. Frowning, Shizuo walked to the bed and sat beside him. The weight on the mattress made the small man jerk awake from his uneasy sleep.

"S-Shizu-chan?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, it's me." Shizuo ran his hands through dark hair, purposely messing it up. Izaya glanced up at him, still half asleep.

"You're so warm." The informant moved closer until his cheek was resting on the blond's knee, sighing contentedly.

"You know, this is how I can tell you're not awake. Izaya is never this nice," Shizuo chuckled.

"I'm always nice. You just overlook it with your small brain."

"That sounds more like the Izaya I know."

The raven stuck his tongue out for a reply, and then rose to eye-level with the larger man.

"Somehow I knew you'd end up coming here. If not, I was going to your place again anyway," Izaya said, grinning.

"You act like you live there. What if I didn't let you in?"

"I'd break in like always. Besides, we both know you'd let me in."

"Cheeky little bastard," Shizuo murmured.

"Overly strong infant," Izaya countered. It was always like this. They had to fight to maintain the level of animosity they had harbored for each other over the years. Even if it was just play fighting, it made their transition less…awkward.

"Why were you going to go to my place? It's thin and drafty," the brute huffed, quoting the informant from earlier that morning.

"Well, we've been severely lacking on your therapy recently. It's been sixteen days, and all we've only had five sessions. We need to be more consistent. You're doing better I think, but I want to make sure," Izaya explained.

"You want another session tonight? We just had one! It's getting late anyway. It won't even be long enough," Shizuo whined. He truly hated having to talk so much about his troubles. It was worse when it wasn't him, because then he definitely wouldn't have any control over the situation.

"Shizu-chan, it's for your own good. Besides, as long as we're spending time together, why does it matter what form we take?" Izaya teased.

"I have to be Tsugaru tonight, correct?" Shizuo sighed, giving in.

"Indeed. And I will be Psyche. And in the morning, we'll be back to Shizuo and Izaya. Sound tolerable?"

Oh, how it _seemed _tolerable. Doing was different than talking about doing. But…he would be able to stay the night…and wake up next to…

"Until later then, you fucking flea." Shizuo connected their lips briefly.

"Goodnight, brute~," Izaya purred. And the two men were no more. Drifting away inside their own minds. The original alternates were able to take control.

"Good evening, Psyche," Tsugaru said calmly.

"Tsu-chan!" Magenta eyes widened with excitement. The agile raven rose from his spot on Izaya's large bed and scanned the room.

"What are you looking for?" Tsugaru asked, entertained by this offbeat version of Izaya.

"My outfit! I don't wanna dress like Iza-chan, I'm my own person!" Psyche whined. "When he cleans things up the way he does I can never find anything!"

"Hm, you sound a bit like Shizuo. He gets mad at me for tidying up his place too," Tsugaru said. Psyche looked over at him.

"Uwah, Tsu-chan I'm being so selfish! Here we finally have time together, and I'm wasting it looking for my stuff…if only I knew where it was…"

"_Check the closet, imbecile," _hissed Hibiya's voice.

"Hibi-chan is so mean. I was going there next…" Psyche pouted to himself before opening the large closet door. He checked the very back, behind all the hangers.

"Found me!" The giddy man danced with joy, throwing off the informant's usual black attire and replacing it with his bright, white get-up. He placed his headphones (stuffed in the top dresser drawer) on his head, before turning back to the blond man, whose face was quite red at the moment.

"Eh? Why is Tsu-chan all red?" Psyche asked innocently.

"You…changed clothes in front of me. It was awfully forward, is all," Tsugaru recovered. Psyche giggled.

"It was just shirt and pants, silly. It's not like I did a striptease or something naughty like that. Unless Tsu-chan wants that?"

"No! No, I mean… Ah, never mind it, never mind it. Do you feel better now that you're in your usual attire, Psyche?"

In response, the raven crawled back onto the bed, facing the blond. Their knees were touching together. Psyche raised his hand and gently caressed Tsugaru's face.

"No I'm not feeling any better. Do you know why?" he asked quietly.

"Why?" The calm features of the man shifted into a concerned look.

"Iza-chan kissed Shizu-Shizu. Hibi-chan kissed Deli-chan. Roppi even kissed Tsuki-chan! I'm falling behind!"

"You want to kiss me?" Tsugaru asked in disbelief.

"You don't want me to?" Psyche cocked his head to the side, looking up at the blond with wide eyes.

"I do. I really do… I just want you to be sure first. I don't want any rash decisions…"

Psyche smiled widely before he leaned forward, brushing their lips together in the ghost of a kiss. It was entirely gentle on Tsugaru's part. He simply wanted to be close to the little ball of energy. Psyche wanted more, however. He swiped his tongue along the taller man's bottom lip. The blond hesitated before parting his lips. Psyche licked the other man's tongue, coaxing it to wrap around his own. The smaller man moaned against Tsugaru's mouth explicitly, moving his body forward to straddle the blond's lap, their mouths all the while conjoining together.

"Tsu-chan tastes so good~," Psyche said, sighing in bliss before delving his tongue inside once more.

"Psy-mmm-" Tsugaru managed to get out before he lost himself again. Kissing Psyche was just too much. He knew then that Psyche wasn't entirely as innocent as he looked. True to his original, he was devious and could be manipulative at times. But he still had that playfulness about him that made it more childish than vicious. The raven was just doing what he wanted, and not really thinking about anything else. Tsugaru knew Izaya to be completely different. He planned everything out from the start, making it benefit himself.

Finally, Psyche drew back, licking his own lips.

"I'm better now," he said simply, nuzzling his head in the crook of Tsugaru's neck. "Can I ask you something, though?"

The blond had been playing with a strand of dark hair idly before Psyche's voice brought him back to reality.

"Of course," he replied.

"You said before that you liked me, right?" Magenta bored into blue as Psyche raised his head.

"Yes. Because I do," Tsugaru answered.

"Is that all?" Psyche pressed.

"I…I'm afraid I don't understand the question…" Tsugaru admitted. He was beyond confused.

"I don't like Tsu-chan. Not at all," Psyche said with an entirely innocent face. His gaze never faltered. Tsugaru felt his heart sink.

"Oh…well that's okay-" he started.

"I _love _him," the raven confessed, observing as his partner's eyes grew wider and more hopeful.

"You love me? But…we really only just met. How can you be so sure?"

"It doesn't matter how long ago we met or how much I know about you. I liked you since I saw you. But since I'm always thinking about you no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I've decided it's love. And I want Tsu-chan all to myself, for always," Psyche said genuinely.

"I see…what a beautiful thing to say. I've never belonged to anyone before," Tsugaru said quietly.

"I'm not just anyone! Is that a yes?"

"Yes. I'll be yours, always."

"And if you meet Roppi or Hibi-chan, you can't love them even if they have the same face," Psyche added with a stern face.

"Agreed, but you have to agree to the same. Especially where Delic is concerned."

Psyche smiled a breathtaking smile and threw his arms around the blond's neck before connecting their lips again.

"We'll be in trouble…if we don't have therapy…" Tsugaru said, out of breath.

"I'm feeling very calm right now. Like we just had a whole bunch of therapy! Aren't you?" Psyche asked.

"Indeed I am, Psyche."

"Then it's settled." Their lips collided again and again. They drank in each other's company, soaking in the feeling of wanting. And being wanted in return. It truly was awe inspiring.

"Ah… I love you too." The blond finally said before they settled under the covers, preparing to sleep. Though they had just been released from their originals, their bodies were tired from lack of sleep. Especially on Psyche's part. The three words were said over and over, throughout the night. The repercussions would come later, along with the morning sun. But right now, under the covers, they were all that mattered. The two alternate personalities of two former-enemies held each other close, saying three little words that changed everything in an instant, until sleep claimed them, pulling them out of consciousness but not out of each other's arms.

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><p><em>Hit that little button down there for a quicker upload of the next chapter! It will include the reactions to the lovebirds and-<em>

_Delic: Me! Chibiya and I are going to have a steamy session of our own~._

_Ugh, I was getting to you. Impatient! Yes, Delic will be in the next chapter. So…you've been warned. Sorry, Hibiya._

_Delic: Don't feel bad for him. I'm going to make up for all the time I haven't seen him. Hehehe. Review so I can see my mini-prince!_


	21. Alternate Sessions: Part II

_Sachi: Um…I have to just say that there's not much use in a warning. Delic is in this chapter so…that's enough said, right? *looks nervously at the grinning blond* So just don't read if you're not into…_

_Delic: Raunchy-ness? Passionate smut? Bold steamy __**hot**__…_

_Sachi: *Dies*_

_Delic: On with the story~!_

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><p><strong>Alternate Sessions Part II<strong>

Izaya blinked into consciousness, without being able to see much of anything. The room was still dark, the sun hadn't risen yet. He knew he was being held tightly by the brute, who was entirely out of it at the moment. Gazing up, he managed to make out the features of the sleeping face, all calm and docile. So unlike the blond man. Ah, but he _had _just been Tsugaru after all.

In all honesty, Izaya had no idea what the two alternates had discussed. As soon as he faded from his own body, that was the end of his awareness. It seemed to be happening a lot lately. Why was he so tired? A lot of it had to do with the fact that he was sharing his body with three other people. In addition, things like this were happening a lot too. He would wake up multiple times in the night, no matter how tired his body was. It seemed since his mind was always going, it just couldn't let him relax enough to sleep. Not that it mattered too much anyway though. Even if he got a good night's sleep, he knew he would still feel worn down from sharing his body. He often wondered how Shizuo managed to be so vivacious during the day, but then again that man had unnatural stamina when it came to everything.

Sighing, Izaya attempted fall asleep again. It was useless as always. Well…in situations like this when he couldn't really move and had no one else to talk to…

"Psyche?" he whispered quietly.

"_Iza-chan? Why are you awake so late at night? I gave up seeing Tsu-chan longer so you could rest!"_

"Ah, sorry, sorry. What did…you and Tsugaru discuss tonight?"

"_Eh? You mean you didn't hear us?"_

"No…I was out of it at the time. Enlighten me," Izaya smirked.

"_We didn't really have too much discussion about anything helpful to you and Shizu-Shizu. It's kinda private… So I don't think I'll tell you. You'll just get mad at me."_

Izaya scowled in the darkness, moving his face closer to Shizuo's chest to better muffle his voice.

"Tell me you didn't let him fuck you," he hissed as quietly as he could.

"_Of course not. I'm not Hibi-chan! We just kissed a lot. But the things we said aren't important to you. So go back to sleep!"_

"I swear if I could get my hands on you I would snap your neck!" Izaya growled a little too loudly. Shizuo frowned in his sleep, and pulled the informant's body even closer. The raven could hear the man's heartbeat in his ears, and realized just how…_human _Shizuo could be… No. NO! He was a monster! A little beast who threw stop signs and cars and…could also use the same hands to massage gently and touch in just the right way. Unable to get out of the brute's vice grip, Izaya settled against his solid body, arguing with himself about the definition of what made a human. Eventually, the steady _thump-thump _from the blond's chest lulled him back to sleep, if only for a little while. He dreamed of a werewolf reverting back into a man.

* * *

><p>The morning was rather un-eventful. Izaya had asked Shizuo if he remembered any of Tsugaru and Psyche's conversation.<p>

"You mean you don't remember it?" The blond had asked.

"No, obviously I wouldn't have asked if I had," Izaya had frowned.

"Ah. Well, I don't either then. I was counting on you to know, since you're usually the one that observes things so well," Shizuo had grinned wickedly. Izaya knew then that he did know, and just wasn't telling. How infuriating.

"Don't you have work or something? Your little game is making me angry. I think it would be best if we skipped tonight, Shizu-chan. Give us a rest from each other. We will pick back up tomorrow, ne?" Izaya had suggested.

"Haha, you get so pissed when everyone else has secrets. Fine, we'll pick back up tomorrow. At least that means I can smoke before I sleep tonight." With that, the brute had left.

Now, Izaya sat at his computer trying to take his mind away from where it was. _Anywhere _else but the topic it was currently on. Shizuo Heiwajima seemed to be the dominant topic on his mind these days, that was a given. But seeing him as a human was just too much. It had rattled the small man to the core, enough to need a day away from him. But…how would he remain stable without his sanity for the night? How would the brute do without his therapy? Maybe he had been too rash… But they would be okay…right?

_Taro Tanaka- Ehhh? No one knows what's wrong? I thought you guys paid extra special attention to those two!_

Izaya frowned. For once, he had no idea what this online chat was about.

_Setton- I saw him yesterday. He looked bad. Don't tell him that._

_Hikaru- You mean Orihara right? I saw him yesterday too. He was yelling at someone that wasn't there. _

_Taro Tanaka- That can't be good. I just know that Shizuo knows something about it._

_Setton- But he hates Izaya. Why would he know?_

_Taro Tanaka- I just think he does. Why wouldn't he have used Izaya's recent state to his advantage yet? It's obvious that there's something going on._

_Hikaru- It's actually not that known yet. You guys are the only ones who seem to actually know Izaya well enough to notice he's more off than usual._

Finally, the informant snapped out of his horror induced stupor.

_Kanra- Hey guys! What are you talking about?_

_Taro Tanaka- Hey, Kanra-chan. _

_Setton- We're talking about Izaya Orihara. You know him at all or just the rumors?_

_Kanra- I know him from rumors. He seems fine and scary as ever to me._

_Taro Tanaka- No, there's something wrong. He's more off than usual._

_Hikaru- Yeah, for real. You should've heard him yelling yesterday. It was like a bad screamo song. _

_Setton- Just keep your eyes open and be careful. There's something fishy about all of this._

_-Kanra has logged off the chat room-_

They knew. They knew, they knew, they FUCKING knew! How? He had worked so hard to make a name for himself in the city and now… What was he going to do? There was no "quick-fix" for this. He was torn into four separate beings. Was he just supposed to get some duct tape? Super glue? For the first time in a long while, he admitted to himself that things had gotten too far out of hand. Maybe…just maybe…

"Yo," said a voice to his right. Roppi stood at the edge of his desk, absently looking over Izaya's shoulder at some paperwork.

"Why are you manifesting again? I have enough to deal with at the moment," Izaya growled, not bothering to look up at the male.

"Just visiting. You try living with Psyche and Hibiya all the time. It's exhausting. I thought I'd get some fresh air," Roppi stated. "Besides, you look like you're about to have a meltdown anyway."

"You'd love that, wouldn't you? So you could stand there and say 'I told you so' right? You and Shizu-chan and everyone else that just knows so much about me! You don't have a fucking clue about anything! Stop staring at me with that expression on your face! It infuriates me to be patronized!" Izaya all but screamed.

"You know, I haven't really even said anything negative yet. You're just in a foul mood. We all heard you snap at Shizuo this morning. Now you're all alone until tomorrow. I honestly don't think you'll make it," said the alternate raven.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Izaya threw his paperwork at the offending male, standing from his swivel chair. "Just go away and leave me alone! I have work to do and a reputation to fix and…a migraine the size of a planet… Just leave…leave, leave, leave…." he said over and over. He looked up to see Roppi staring at the door.

"Someone just knocked," he said in a bored voice before he disappeared.

Sighing, Izaya stomped to the door, throwing it open. Shizuo stood wearing a white suit trimmed with pink and…pink headphones…oh lord, no.

"Long time no see, Izaya," Delic said calmly, observing the other male's appearance. "You've looked better."

"You're not supposed to be here until-"

"Tomorrow, I know. But I find it rather unfair that you and little Shizuo have a lover's spat and I am damned to wait another night to see my mini-prince. What if I need therapy worse than you think? Do you want me to go insane and throw paperwork around _my _office?" Delic grinned.

Izaya _glared _at the man as hard as he could.

"Delic, I really think you should leave. I'm in no mood," he spat.

"I could put you in the mood. It's easy really, just a few strokes, a breath here and there. All too easy. Either let me talk to my prince, or I'll fuck Shizuo's flea," the imp stated seriously. He advanced on the smaller man, placing his hands on either side of his face. "While I have grown fond of golden eyes, I could look into red ones while I ram into you instead. You know, since you're being bitchy and all. It seems fair to me that I can have sex with you, but I doubt Shizuo would like it. Ah well, he's not here right now, is he?" Delic purred before he put his hands under the informant's jacket, trying to remove it. Izaya blushed furiously and tried to get away only to be pulled back. He forgot Delic possessed the same monstrous strength.

"Y-you're really going to try and…You have no shame at all!" he said in disbelief as the blond's hands removed his jacket and slid under his shirt, trying to remove that as well.

"No, I don't. A fuck is a fuck, and right now you're all I have. Since you're being stingy with my prince, I'll take it out on you instead," the wicked man said devilishly.

"_Get your fucking hands off him!" _Shizuo's voice rang clear in his mind, but he blocked it out.

"Now, now little Shizuo. I only promised I wouldn't fuck _Chibiya_ all the way. You never said I couldn't have Izaya," Delic whispered, successfully getting the raven's shirt halfway off his torso.

"_DELIC!" _Shizuo yelled again in a furious rage. _"Let him go, now!" _

"Fine, fine. Touchy, aren't we?" Delic sighed before he let the raven go. Izaya glared at him heatedly before retreating to his room. If the man wanted Hibiya, he could have him. The informant was NOT going back out there as himself, that was for sure. Never again would he yell at Hibiya for losing control. It was hard not to when the man's very being seemed to scream debauchery! He ravaged his closet, looking for the familiar golden items, before he lost himself again. Maybe…not thinking about anything was all he needed right now after all…and having Shizuo's presence in his apartment was calming him down already.

Delic looked up when Hibiya entered the room. He had been sitting on the floor arguing with Shizuo quietly about "personal boundaries" or some shit.

"_Chibiya~," _he purred looking the raven up and down appreciatively. Hibiya glared at him.

"Don't start that again. And how are you even facing me with no guilt on your face at all you…behemoth! You just made a pass at Orihara!" he hissed.

"Ah, but I didn't kiss him. Nor did I touch anything too private. Besides, I didn't know we were exclusive, Chibiya. And all of you really are just too sexy, even Izaya," Delic said calmly, ignoring the shouts that continued from Shizuo inside his head.

"We're not exclusive! You're just…UGH! Just stay where you are and don't move or I'll have you executed," Hibiya spat, going to find his notebook. He had promised Izaya he would get at least a little bit of therapy in since Psyche hadn't done what he was supposed to. And prince's always kept their word.

"Now talk about something important, you imbecile," he said when he re-entered the room. Delic blinked at him.

"But I can't have a session unless you're in my lap. Those were my conditions," he said simply, leaning back on his hands.

"Change them then. If I sit in your lap you're going to try something," Hibiya said firmly.

"Maybe if you named your own terms, I would know what is and what isn't allowed," Delic countered. Hibiya considered this for a moment.

"I'll sit in your lap if you promise to tell me helpful things. Helpful to _Heiwajima_, not to you. And you can't remove any of my clothes!" Hibiya said triumphantly. To his surprise, the blond only grinned wider.

"That's all? Alright then, it's a deal." He rose from the floor and settled into Izaya's couch. He pat his lap expectantly. Hibiya mentally groaned, and sat down. Instantly, the imp's hands wrapped around his torso, but didn't try to enter his clothing. Hibiya considered this to be a victory in itself.

"What am I supposed to say?" Delic asked seriously.

"Just whatever you've been thinking about. That's what therapy is," Hibiya answered.

"Alright. So, I've been thinking about fucking you."

"_WHAT?" _Hibiya tried to jump out of the man's lap, but was forcefully held down.

"Haha! Well I have. Anyway, I've been thinking about life a lot too," Delic said. The prince wrote that down.

"What about it?" he asked.

"Just…how uncertain it is. What are we anyway? I know I'm not meant to exist. But here I am. And here you are, too. I can feel you, taste you, screw you. Doesn't that make us real? What happens to us…when those two get better?" Delic asked genuinely. Hibiya frowned.

"I've been wondering that myself. I have no answer for you, Delic. I can assure you that Orihara is nowhere near better though. He's actually quite the opposite. So that's something to think about," he replied.

"Yeah, I noticed. Everyone's noticing. Especially Shizuo. You should hear him whine all the time about 'the flea'. It's tragic indeed. You're part of him. What's really happening inside that warped little mind of his?"

"I can't really say. He's a mess, though. Just know that much if you know anything. But he's also a proud mess, so he won't be accepting help anytime soon. Tell Heiwajima not to leave him alone for too long. Orihara has anxiety when he's not around. Other than that, I've been forbidden from saying," Hibiya explained.

"Hmm, it's weird isn't it? Shizuo gets better and Izaya gets worse. I wonder what's happening here," Delic sighed, nuzzling his head between the prince's shoulder blades.

"_Delic," _Hibiya chided. He knew where this was leading.

"I'm outside your clothes. And I've been talking genuinely to you. I deserve a little R&R," Delic huffed, continuing to hold the other man closely. "Besides, all this talk about existence is going to give me some sort of…breakthrough."

Hibiya shivered at those words, remembering their terms from before. If he had to kiss Delic again, that would be the end of it.

"Mmm, no I've already got it figured out. You want to hear my breakthrough?" Delic whispered right into the prince's ear.

"W-What?" Hibiya asked, preparing himself for what he knew was coming next.

"I don't wanna fuck anyone else but you." The impish man grinned before turning his prince's head so their lips could meet. He made quick use of his tongue to part the other man's lips and wasted no time in ravaging him. Hibiya moaned loudly in spite of himself as that skilled muscle moved in his mouth, effectively coaxing his own tongue to play along. They kissed deeply for a moment, before Delic's hands started roaming.

"A-ah you gave your word!" Hibiya squeaked.

"Mm-hmm. And I will keep it. Your clothes will never leave your body," Delic confirmed, unbuttoning fabric as he went.

"That's- you're twisting my words around!" Hibiya snapped, his will beginning to crumble as those devilish hands forced inside of his pants, making contact.

"Hah…_ahh_…" he leaned back into the touch, his mouth once again colliding with the imp's as he was stroked faster. "This…is what Orihara…did to Heiwajima…ahh…" Hibiya managed to choke out as he thrust his hips further into Delic's grasp, riding on his lap. Suddenly, the hand stopped.

"Ah, right. We can't do the same thing as them," Delic said simply, removing his hand. The raven whined at the loss.

"Now, now, Chibiya. Rest assured I will pleasure you," Delic grinned as he turned the man around in his lap, making the prince straddle him.

"What…can you do…without breaking your…promise?" Hibiya gasped, still trying to catch his breath.

"There's plenty I could do. But…I want this to be intimate, since it's you," Delic said as he held up three fingers, putting them against the raven's lips. Hibiya frowned.

"Y-you're doing _that?_" he asked in disbelief. Rolling his eyes, Delic forced his fingers inside the man's mouth. The prince glanced at him before he wrapped his tongue around the digits, effectively coating them in saliva as Delic looked on eagerly. Finally, the blond removed them and put his hand back inside the raven's pants. He began to push his finger past the little ring of muscles. Hibiya winced at the intrusion.

"Nnn…Feels…weird," he whined.

"It'll feel good in a little bit," Delic assured him. He placed his finger inside all the way and pulled it out, only to shove it back in with more force. The raven closed his eyes tightly each time the saliva coated finger slammed inside, the edges of pleasure beginning to ripple through him. Delic added another finger, doing the same thing over and over, looking for the spot he knew would have the smaller man clinging to him for dear life. He pushed in again with even more force, curling his fingers upwards when…

"AH! T-there! Touch me there again!" Hibiya commanded. Delic smirked, and added the last finger before he did as he was told. He hit that same spot repeatedly, the man in his lap becoming a hot mess.

"Feel good?" he whispered into the prince's ear. "You don't want me to stop?"

"Ahhh…no…d-don't…stop…" Hibiya choked, riding the digits in spite of himself. It felt _damn _good. He was beginning to see stars.

"Ah…I want to fuck you so bad right now…" Delic hissed. He remembered his promise to Shizuo, though. Damn his nobleness! Hibiya arched into his hold, smashing their lips together forcefully. The fingers curled up one more time.

"A-ahh, Delic…" Hibiya came, his pants never leaving his hips. The spent man fell forward onto the blond, who held him gently.

"Mmm, Chibiya. I want to hear you say my name like that always. Never anyone else's…"

Hibiya nodded absently, focusing instead on the obvious tent in Delic's white dress pants. Throwing caution to the wind, he undid the imp's zipper, freeing the aroused flesh, before he wrapped his hand around it, tugging gently.

"Ch-Chibiya…being awfully generous aren't we?" Delic gasped. He couldn't believe how bold Hibiya was being.

"I'm…getting back…at you…" Hibiya groaned, stroking faster. The quick breaths from Delic were telling him he was doing a decent job, making his confidence rise. He moved his hand even faster, enjoying how the blond held his waist firmly, his forehead falling onto his shoulder.

"Not too bad I suppose?" Hibiya asked quietly.

"Fuck…feels…_amazing_…" Delic said breathlessly, holding onto him tighter. His breath came faster and faster as the hand picked up pace again. He placed his mouth against Hibiya's pale neck, sucking at the skin there. Finally, it became too much and the overwhelming sensation of being stroked by _his _prince pushed him over the edge. Moaning explicitly, he bit down on white skin.

"Ahh…Chibiya…" he managed before they both sank back into the cushions on the couch. Clouded magenta bored into liquid magma, their eyes locked together. Delic leaned forward and kissed him gently, relishing in the fact that it was Hibiya who deepened the kiss this time.

"You're no longer a commoner," Hibiya stated firmly. "A commoner could never touch me that way."

"You saying I'm your princess now?" Delic laughed.

"No. You're my one and only knight. Sound acceptable?" Hibiya looked at him earnestly. Delic smiled widely.

"You just made us exclusive, _Chibiya~._"

"Which means no more hitting on anyone else," Hibiya scolded.

"Wouldn't even think of betraying my prince," Delic said before he kissed the smaller man again. No matter what happened between Shizuo and Izaya, they were going to make it work somehow. After all, what was a prince without his knight?

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><p><em>Would anyone believe me if I said I wasn't even trying to write all of this? It was just going to be an innocent session but…then this chapter happened…Ah, well. Review for Roppi and Tsuki! They have to have a session too. And I kinda like having Delic around for the postscript. He makes them funny.<em>

_Delic: Damn straight! Review and I'll take my clothes off!_

_Sachi:*hits own forehead*_


	22. Alternate Sessions: Part III

_Sachi: Ehhh? Wait what? Last chapter got the most reviews of any chapter! Mostly from people that never review!…It was Delic, wasn't it? That's it! I'm whoring him out to everyone that reviews! Delic, strip and have at it!_

_Delic: Fuck, yes!_

_Sachi: In all seriousness, thank you to all who left such great reviews! This chapter is kind of sad, okay well a lot sadder than the last one. It's also the longest chapter I've written so far! And by far my most favorite. So, you've been warned that you may tear up. On with the story! *watches Delic strip*_

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><p><strong>Alternate Sessions Part III<strong>

Shizuo awoke face-down on the couch cushions. There was a horrible feeling of stiffness in his pants, clinging the fabric to him uncomfortably. He looked over at the empty space beside him. Izaya must have woken up first. The steam coming from the bathroom confirmed this. The raven was probably washing off last night's activities. Honestly, Shizuo could care less what happened with Delic and Hibiya. They were apparently separate beings. All he had asked was that the imp not go all the way with the prince. He wanted his body's first time to be with someone of his own choice. Someone like…never mind.

Needless to say, Delic's attempt at getting into Izaya's pants had angered him beyond all comprehension. He had never felt himself get so defensive over anyone before. Besides maybe Kasuka. But it was rage for a different reason. He was _jealous. _It was a foreign feeling, but Shizuo already knew he didn't like it one bit.

"Delic, later we're going to have a very serious long and hard discussion about keeping your hands off what's mine," he whispered to himself.

"_Oooh, long and hard eh? Shizuo knows just how to phrase things to get me all excited~," _Was Delic's shameless reply.

"_Delic, really. Must you be so vulgar? Making a pass at Orihara-san was quite uncalled for," _said Tsugaru.

"_Yeah! It was r-really distasteful…Please don't touch Roppi-san like that," _added Tsuki, nervously.

"_I'm not into the Roppi one. He's too weird. Good match for you though, Tsuki. You can both hang upside down from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of his wings," _laughed Delic.

_"Roppi-san said you shouldn't pick on me anymore! Only he can hurt me now so nothing you say can bother me anymore! So take that and…and…fuck yourself with it!" _yelled Tsuki. Shizuo snorted with laughter.

"_Tsuki! Don't use that kind of language! Sinking down to his level of obscenity is beneath you and I won't tolerate such a filthy habit from you!" _chastised Tsugaru.

"_No, Tsugaru shut up. His little baby mind probably doesn't realize what it's saying. Do you even know what 'fuck' means, Tsuki?" _

"_Of course I do! Just stop saying mean things about Roppi-san! He's a good person…he's my favorite person! And I like that he's weird because I'm weird too!" _Tsuki defended.

"Then don't listen to what he says, Tsuki. Just talk to Roppi later during the next session. I'm sure he'll make you feel better. Sometimes it's good to be weird," Shizuo tried to help his most gentle counterpart.

"_Yeah, they can share a fetus in the moonlight," _Delic mumbled sarcastically.

Sighing, Shizuo observed that he was still in the pink and white suit. Letting Delic take control actually was planned… He wanted to make sure Izaya was okay. But since the man had told him not to come over last night, the brute made a loophole. The informant never said _Delic_ couldn't come over. But he hadn't expected the imp to put on the tacky suit and walk all the way to Shinjuku just to try and molest the raven. Who knew how many people had seen him dressed that way? What if word got back to Shinra? There were just so many things that had went wrong with his plan. No wonder his brain was very much against planning things out.

"Finally woke up, eh?" Izaya's voice brought him out of his thoughts. The raven stood in the bathroom doorway, towel drying his hair. He was wearing tight black pants and…no shirt…

"Aren't you…getting dressed?" Shizuo mumbled, looking away.

"Hmm? I am dressed, Shizu-chan. It's not like you haven't seen more of my body before," Izaya laughed. He loved when the brute was flustered. It was cute.

"I know that! Just…put on a shirt…" There were red marks down the informant's white torso. The flawless skin was like a map indicating just where Delic had put his mouth the night before. Izaya noticed where those mocha eyes were looking.

"Ah, yes Delic was rather rough with this body last night, ne? But at least it was Hibiya he did it to. I thought for a second there that he was going to try and have his way with _me_." The informant laughed dryly. Shizuo's face darkened.

"Speaking of which, you didn't do a damn thing to try and stop him! Don't you know by now how he is? He would've went all the way if not for me!" The blond hissed.

"Oh, my savior. Shizu-chan is so sweet for aiding me. I was simply caught by him, that's all. You seem to forget how strong that body of yours is. Delic's strength is the same, and I couldn't get away. You really did save me I suppose," Izaya laughed, going to toss the towel in the hamper. He noticed the Shizuo's eyes followed his every movement.

"Could it be…that Shizu-chan was jealous?" Izaya asked, grinning wickedly.

"No! I just…didn't want him to touch you like that!" Shizuo said loudly, face reddening.

"Mmm, I don't believe you. The very thought of Delic touching me made your blood boil, didn't it? I can see it in your face." The informant moved closer until he was standing directly in front of the seated blond, looking down at him.

"Jealousy is unbecoming, Shizu-chan. But you have no reason to be upset with me over it. I'm still only yours to touch~," he used his velvet voice before he claimed the blushing man's lips.

"Izaya…" Shizuo deepened the kiss, wrapping his tongue around that silver one that spouted so much nonsense. His hands roamed over the bare chest that was still a little damp. He grazed a nipple, enjoying the sounds that came from his informant as he pulled him down into his lap. Izaya pushed him against the back cushion of the couch, devouring his mouth. He loved kissing this man, his roaming hands, his rough voice. Of course he wouldn't admit that, not even to himself. The thought of the brute being jealous of his own personality was humorous. And hot. Shizuo was jealous for _him. _

Izaya moaned as Shizuo's hands moved to the back of his thighs, pulling him closer to himself. The raven's voice encouraged the blond, and he pulled the man's hips down against his own, sparking that all too familiar friction.

"Ahhh..Sh-Shizu-chan…more…" Izaya groaned loudly as the brute repeated the action.

"Yeah, flea. No one else gets to hear you like this," Shizuo huffed as he ground their hips together again and again. "Understand? No one."

"A-hah…of course…I'm Shizu-chan's… Nnnn, God, right there…" Izaya barely managed to get his voice legible as he rode on top of the bodyguard.

"Yep. All mine," Shizuo growled, pulling against those thin hips roughly, grinding down harder than before. He enjoyed having this much control over the smaller man. It was a wonder that Izaya even allowed it, as much of a control freak as he was. But he made no complaints as their hips rode together again and again.

"Ahhh…do you…want to do more with me?" Izaya asked, pushing down rather slowly to suggest his point.

"You have to ask, flea?" Shizuo hissed, pushing the man against the cushions, continuing to smash their hips together.

"AH…Fuck…Shizu-chan…_Shizu…" _he was too breathless to continue at this point. His mind was a scrambled mess that grew more and more disheveled as those ungodly hips rode against his own. He reached up, seeking to claim Shizuo's mouth. When their lips met, Izaya's moans became muffled. "Fckkk miiieeeh." he managed.

"Eh? Didn't quite catch that," Shizuo huffed, still continuing his ministrations.

"I sa-said…fuck…me." Izaya groaned as he rocked his lower half upwards again.

"Flea…Are you sure?" The brute asked uncertainly.

"So sure…so, so sure…" The raven moaned, capturing the blond's lips in a sloppy kiss, licking all the way down to his chin. Then the shred of sanity Shizuo held onto vanished. He had to have Izaya _now. _His hands went to the black pants and he fumbled with the button. The feelings kept coming, the man's thin arms wrapped around his neck, those breathless moans were hot against his ear…and then-

"Couldn't make it to the bed, eh?" asked a voice from the doorway. Shizuo snapped backwards like a rubber band. He was facing Izaya's secretary.

"_Namie! _Can't you ever knock? I live here, you know!" The informant hissed, buttoning his pants and trying miserably to hide his erection.

"No, I can't. I work here, you know. Work? That thing you're supposed to do. The job you actually get paid for, not the other jobs I'm sure you're giving this man right here." Namie's gaze shifted to Shizuo, who looked just as distraught as Izaya.

"I'll be at my desk. Feel free to continue," she said simply, going to file things. The blond's cloudy eyes met lust filled garnet. Izaya's lips were still swollen, his hair disheveled, his face flushed. God, how Shizuo didn't want to say what he said next.

"I guess…I have work today…" he said, looking away from that gaze full of want.

"Heh, I have work too. Guess we got a little too carried away, eh? Do you want to take a shower here before you go? I know you're still…dirty from last night." The informant grinned. Namie's huff could be made from the corner, obviously listening to the conversation. Izaya narrowed his eyes at her.

"Namie, since you're suddenly so good at listening to what I say, why don't you go buy Shizu-chan and me some coffee from the café across the street? At your own expense, of course. And if you try to spit in it, I'll chop off all your hair and hang you with it," he said grimly. She shot him a glare, and rose to do as he asked. Shizuo laughed. It was funny when the raven tortured someone else.

"Yeah, I'll take you up on that offer. I wish I had some clothes here though. I have to walk down the street dressed like this," he motioned to the pink and white suit. Izaya gave him a smirk.

"Actually, I stole one of your bartender uniforms last time I was at your place. It's in my closet, if you want it," he said.

"Do I even want to know why you took it?"

"You have so many. I wanted to see if you'd even notice when one was gone. Obviously you didn't, though. So, experiment successful!" Izaya laughed.

"Weird little freak." Shizuo rolled his eyes, heading for the closet. He noticed all of Izaya's clothes, and the other outfits shoved in the back. The pink and white outfit, the golden outfit, the red and black outfit. Then he saw his bartender uniform, hanging from a nail in the closet door. He picked it up, inhaling the scent. It smelled like Izaya.

When he walked back into the living room, he found the informant at his computer, typing away with his usual fervor. He was fully dressed now, wearing his jacket on top of the v neck shirt. Russet eyes flicked up from the screen as he observed the blond.

"Your coffee is on the counter. I assure you, it's spit proof. Namie is keeping her matted hair, unfortunately," he grinned.

"The other day you were saying how pretty my hair is," Namie hissed from her corner.

"I already told you, that wasn't me. Isn't it harder to file things when you're talking? Or would you rather me send you to get lunch for us later too?" he said with such a vicious tone it sent ice up Shizuo's spine. The informant was most likely pissed off that she had seen him and the brute in such a compromising position.

"Later, flea," he said heading toward the door.

"Wait, Shizu-chan!" Izaya called, rising from his swivel chair. He caught up to the taller man, grinning wickedly at the brunette woman, before he connected his mouth to Shizuo's. His long sleeved arms wrapped around Shizuo's neck, pulling him more into himself as the blond opened his mouth, colliding their tongues. Izaya moaned fervently, before he pulled back, licking his lips.

"Come over tonight~. And bring extra clothes, too. Roppi needs to speak with Tsuki." He removed his arms, sticking his tongue out childishly at his secretary, before he returned to his swivel chair. Shizuo grabbed his coffee from the counter before he strode past the angry woman.

"Gay little freak," she hissed at him loud enough that Izaya glanced over from his monitor to glare at her.

"Whiny little cock block," Shizuo retorted, hearing Izaya laugh as Namie's face flushed. He entered the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"Oh, Namie! I've decided what I want for lunch and it's _all _the way across town. Better get going if you're going to be back here in time for lunch." He heard the smooth voice of the informant as he began walking to the exit. He heard Namie cursing from outside.

* * *

><p>Shizuo's day was entirely uneventful; the entire day was spent walking around the city with Tom. Sometimes he wondered why the dreadlocked man even <em>needed<em> a bodyguard. He had stopped by his place, getting clothes, his toothbrush, and the white scarf and glasses he knew his alternate would need. He was walking toward Shinjuku thinking about what had happened earlier.

It was a good thing Namie had interrupted them, he decided. Izaya was simply caught up in the moment. Shizuo didn't want there to be any doubt when he took the smaller male. He wanted it perfect, honest, steamy. But…he really wanted it. He wanted Izaya Orihara. And the raven wanted him back. Still, he was nervous as he walked through the dark streets. He never knew what the informant had planned for therapy sessions. Of course, the last two sessions had been anything but helpful. Psyche and Tsugaru had announced their love for each other and Delic and Hibiya became exclusively in a relationship. Shizuo really didn't know anything about Roppi except that he was darker than Izaya. That was a scary thought in itself. But if Tsuki liked him, more power to him. He reached the familiar door, opening it without knocking. The raven looked up from the floor. He was sitting cross-legged, reading some large book. His expression was bored, his eyes blood-red. The jacket was red and black and not its usual black and tannish color. This wasn't Izaya.

"Good evening, Shizuo," Roppi said calmly, returning his attention to his book.

"Hachimenroppi. The flea knocked off early tonight?" Shizuo asked, sitting his stuff down on the floor.

"Ah, yes. He was waiting for you, but he decided to take a nap. I think it's safe to assume he'll be asleep for awhile yet. Anyway, since I'm having a session with Tsuki, I volunteered to watch the place until you got here. Izaya really is stubborn, though. He leaves us all alone with your alternates, then gets mad when he's unaware of what we discuss. I'm guessing you remember all of it though, right?" Roppi asked him.

"Uh…yeah. I remember everything," Shizuo replied. What was the raven getting at?

"I'm assuming you know that Izaya isn't well?" Roppi asked another question.

"I…didn't want to think about it." Shizuo looked at the floor.

"But you know. Since he's too stubborn, I'll just go ahead and tell you. He won't know we had this conversation, anyway. I've been manifesting in reality with him. He can see me sometimes, separate from himself."

"What?" The blond was mortified.

"_Oh no…That's not good at all," _Tsugaru's voice said quietly.

"Yes, it's been a good week now since I first did it. The little Orihara is going off his rocker, I'd say," Roppi smirked.

"If you know it's bad for him, then why do you do it?" Shizuo hissed.

"Because he needs to admit he needs help. You know him, Shizuo. He has to realize on his own terms that he can't stop this on his own. If you force him to get help, he won't heal. He's too prideful for that. I'm pushing him toward the edge, but whether he jumps or not is up to him."

As mad as this made the brute, he knew the raven was right. Izaya wouldn't accept help until he absolutely had to have it. That's just how he was. Still…Shizuo was scared…so scared.

"What…can I do?" he asked quietly, defeated. Roppi observed him.

"You love him, huh?" he asked the taller male.

"…I do."

"Then just be there when he falls."

"What if I can't catch him?"

"Then he has no one to blame but himself. I think if it's you, he'll let you catch him, though. It'll be alright, I think." Roppi walked over to the blond, ruffling his hair in an attempt to comfort him. Tsuki was right; he was a good person deep down.

"Now, bring out Tsuki. I've been waiting for him," Roppi said simply. Shizuo sighed and lifted the glasses and scarf from the overnight bag he had brought. His eyes changed to a bright red as he lost himself in the darkness of his own mind.

"Roppi-san!" The excited blond said as he started forward, only to trip over thin air and fall at the raven's feet. Roppi sighed, and leaned down to help him up. Tsuki grinned up at him sheepishly.

"Hehe…guess maybe I shouldn't try to run. I'm too clumsy."

"I like that you're clumsy. It makes me feel useful to help you up," Roppi said, pulling the blonde off the floor. Tsuki stood up straight and towered over the other male, face hopeful.

"I've waited so long to see you again! I missed you a lot! Delic was being mean earlier but I remembered what you said and didn't let it get to me. I even told him to fuck himself! Tsugaru was mad, but Shizuo laughed at it so I guess it was okay. Did you miss me too, Roppi-san?" he said this all so fast the raven had to decipher what he was just asked.

"Yes, I missed you. Very much so. Good job, standing up for yourself. I'm proud of you," he smiled.

"Really? Yay, I made Roppi-san proud!" The blond exclaimed, picking up the smaller male and hugging him tightly. Roppi hugged him back, noting that his feet were off the ground, dangling in mid-air.

"Do me a favor. Drop the 'san' from my name. It's too unfamiliar. I don't like it."

"You…just want me to call you 'Roppi'?" Tsuki asked in disbelief.

"Yes. We're partners. Be familiar with me, Tsuki. I like you that way."

"O-okay…Roppi…" The taller man said, blushing furiously. He loved it when Roppi was so forward with him. Roppi was placed back on the floor, and then he walked to get his notepad he had waiting on the counter.

"So, what's been new, Tsuki?" he asked, resuming his earlier place on the floor.

"Um…Tsugaru said he's in love with Psyche. And Delic loves Hibiya I think. Oh, and Shizuo just admitted he loved Izaya-san…" Tsuki sat down in front of the raven.

"Yes, I know all that. Izaya doesn't though, so don't tell him if you ever meet him. I meant what's going on with you? Anything you'd like to discuss?" His russet gaze noticed the red tinge in the blond's cheeks.

"Um…I've been thinking a lot…about you…that's actually all I think about…" Tsuki fumbled with his scarf, not meeting Roppi's gaze.

"Me? What about me?" the raven asked.

"Just…how much I like you… I wouldn't mind sleeping while wrapped in your wings hanging upside down from the ceiling." Tsuki continued to fumble with the white cloth. Roppi raised his eyebrows.

"Wrapped in…wait, what?" he asked. Finally, the spectacled man looked at him.

"Roppi…I…I LOVE you!" The loud confession reverberated in the raven's ears. His body felt numb. No one could feel that way about him. He wasn't good for this blond… He wasn't good for anyone. He had to get away. He had to make Tsuki leave before he ruined him. He hated himself for making that poor man fall for him!

"Don't say that. You don't mean it. Take it back!" Roppi said, standing from the floor and emitting a very dark aura. Tsuki looked up at him, terrified, but unwavering.

"No. Because I mean it. I love you, Roppi. I want to be with you, and only you." Tsuki rose from the floor too. "If you don't feel the same, it's fine. But I wanted you to know." The gentle man pulled the fuming raven against himself, wincing when nails dug into his skin as the man hugged him back.

"Let me go… I'll ruin you… Let me go, please…_please…_" Roppi sobbed, his face constricted with pain as he buried his face in the taller man's chest. Upon hearing his voice break, Tsuki released him and gave him a look of concern.

"Why are you crying? Didn't I say it was okay if you didn't love me back? Hey…stop crying." He gently rubbed his hands against the tears that fell, trying to catch them before they fell. Roppi jerked back.

"Don't fucking touch me! Get out! Leave! LEAVE!" he snarled, backing toward the bathroom door since it was the nearest exit from the room. Tsuki watched him sadly, but made no effort in leaving. The raven snapped, feeling his concerned gaze on him. He went inside the bathroom, taking the razor from the sink's edge. He returned to the room, waving it frantically at the horrified blonde.

"Get out or I'll slice you open! I mean it, leave!" he shouted. Tsuki shook his head.

"Then cut me, Roppi. If it's you, it'll feel good." he said gently. Roppi snarled, and lifted up his red and black coat sleeve. He sliced angrily at the white skin, cutting his own arm in punishment for causing Tsuki so much turmoil. He hated himself. He fucking _hated _himself.

"S-stop! Please, stop! I'll leave if that's what you want!" Tsuki scrambled forward, snatching the blade away from the sobbing man.

"That's…not what I want…I want…you to hate me…it's so much easier when people hate me…" Roppi cried miserably. Tsuki felt his own heart ache at the words. Why should anyone hate someone so beautiful? None of their hatred could match Roppi's own hatred for himself. Tsuki wiped moisture away from his own eyes as he pulled the man in close, kissing away the tears that poured from the raven's crimson eyes.

"Tsuki… I am Izaya's hatred. That's all he made me with… I am his darker self, manifested into a physical form. I am hate incarnate…so why can't I hate you?" Roppi said as he buried his face in the scarf, his wrists bleeding freely.

"Hate me if it makes you not hate yourself. Please…don't do this anymore…" Tsuki cried, holding up the smaller male's arm gently. He led them to the bathroom, praying that Izaya had bandages. Thankfully, he found some in the medicine cabinet. He sat Roppi down on the edge of the bathtub, kneeling at the man's feet. He wrapped up the wounds, taking great care to not cause anymore pain. Roppi watched him, disinterestedly. He lifted his arm up and stared at the bandages, and then back down at the blond.

"Why can't you let me die? Why are you so nice to me? Why…why can't I hate you…I'm so confused, Tsuki! Tell me why!" his voice broke again as he fell forward into the blond's arms.

"Because I love you, Roppi. I love you than I've ever loved anyone or anything…and that includes GPS! I just…love you," he whispered, the raven crying more loudly with every word. He lifted the bandaged arm sadly, kissing the surface.

"Even if you hate yourself…"

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><p>…<em>Leave a review for an upload of the next chapter! Come on, it's right down there! You knooow you wanna push that cute little button! How else will I know if I wrote Tsuki and Roppi well?<em>


	23. Interrogation and Invitation

_Ahhh! No, I take it back. LAST chapter got the most reviews! Seriously guys, you have no clue how giddy they make me when I'm forced to work 30 hours in 4 days. So, here's some virtual love! __Unknown Variable__, yes he does indeed need GPS!, __icy warm__…do I even need to say anything at this point? You should know how awesome you are. __princessofd__, thank yooou! .__71192__ your comment made me happy! __Claudere Foris__, yes I know it's rather unfair that the other personalities had great sessions but Tsuki and Roppi are my favorite so I assure you, it'll work out. __Braverly-Homunculus__, your comment literally made me dance around the break room. And __Vega Nightshade__, you read all of this in one go? AHHH, that's so awesome! You have no clue idea how much that means to me. Oh, and yes. I am a tease. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! *gets hit with vending machine*_

_Shizuo: Shut the hell up with your babbling! On with the fucking story!_

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><p><strong>Interrogation and Invitation<strong>

Izaya was in an unfamiliar place. There were voices around him, but he couldn't quite make them out. He was enveloped in darkness…pure black that spread across the desolate landscape. He tried to speak, but couldn't. Everything was a big, blurry mess. He looked down at his own hands, one of his arms wrapped in bandages. His left hand was lifted up by someone who wasn't there. Carmine eyes widened in surprise, but he couldn't voice any objections.

There were threads wrapped around each of his fingers. Each a different color, each glowing against the unwavering blackness. Izaya looked up into the faces of three males who shared his own quizzical gaze. The thread on his pinky was a bright magenta. It lead to Psyche, and wrapped around his pointer finger. He was attached to Izaya. How like him to be attached to the pinky. Small, yet strong. The one most often overlooked, but able to stand with the rest of the fingers on the hand. Psyche smiled at him, giving him a look of encouragement.

On the ring finger of his left hand there was a golden thread, attached to Hibiya's pointer finger. He was also attached in a specific way that matched his personality. Unable to stand without the support of others, much like an actual prince. Hibiya's golden eyes looked at the informant with interest. He grinned much like Psyche did.

On Izaya's middle finger, there was a black thread. It lead to Hachimenroppi's pointer finger. The vexed raven's blood eyes stared blankly at the informant, not quite yet over Tsuki's recent confession. Of course Roppi would be attached to the middle finger. His whole persona screamed "Fuck you, world!"

On Izaya's thumb, there was a frazzled, clear thread. It had no color to it; it was simply unraveling. The raven looked down, noticing it lead to his own chest. The thread looked so weak, so distraught. What would happen to it when it snapped?

Ah, but we skipped one, yes? Frowning, Izaya looked at his own pointer finger. There was a red thread tied tightly around it, leading away from all of the ravens. It lead into the darkness, making Izaya unable to see who it was attached to. Blindly, he ran after it. He had to see…he had to see… He ran until the threads attached to the other males were pulled, forcing them to follow him as they chased the darkness. Who was running from him? Who was it attached to?

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><p>Shizuo awoke, looking sadly at the man wrapped around him. They were on the floor once more. The blond remembered everything from the night before…everything. Tsuki had held Roppi here all night, both of them crying hysterically. He looked at Izaya's arm that was wrapped tightly in the bandages Tsuki had put there. Izaya had a distraught look on his face, his teeth clenched and his brow furrowed. Shizuo kissed his forehead, trying to chase away whatever plagued the man's dreams. He ran his hands through dark hair, marveling at the beauty that was the informant.<p>

Yes, he could admit it freely now. He loved this man. He loved Izaya Orihara. It was more than lust, more than a doctor/patient relationship. He wanted to help. He wanted to take care of him. He wanted so much…but he knew it was an impossible dream. Izaya would never return his feelings. If he said anything, it would probably ruin whatever strange dynamic they had going now. Seeing as how Roppi took being loved…he didn't want to imagine Izaya's reaction to it. So, Shizuo decided to pretend that nothing had changed. He would play dumb. The informant would say he was acting naturally of course, playing dumb. Damn flea.

"Shizu-chaaaannnn…" Izaya mumbled in his sleep. "Stop…running…" Shizuo frowned. Just what was the man dreaming about? He ran his hands over the jaw line's white skin. He couldn't help but claim those lips for just a moment…before the informant had that damn mask on again. Surprisingly, Izaya's hands wrapped in blond locks pulling him closer when their mouths met.

"Mmm, Shizu-chan…waking me up with a kiss, ne?" he grinned deviously.

"You were awake? What the hell… What were you dreaming about anyway?" The brute grumbled, annoyed at being caught.

"I don't remember now that I'm back in the conscious world," the smaller man shrugged. He lifted his bandaged left arm, observing it mildly.

"Hmm. Seems Roppi got a little carried away last night," he sighed.

"A little? He went crazy! What was that all about anyway?" Shizuo huffed.

"Hard to say. I don't remember what lead to it, or why he did it. I haven't been able to speak with him though so I guess it'll remain a mystery."

"Izaya…is it true? What he told me last night? You're…hallucinating now?" The blond couldn't hide the concern in his features as he scrutinized the informant's face for answers.

"Hallucinating? Of course not, silly. I'm not _that _crazy," Izaya laughed, brushing off the question.

"Yeah…sorry…" Shizuo mumbled, hugging the man close. This was so hard…pretending. He knew the raven was lying to him.

"Shizu-chan, why don't you go ahead and get in the shower first? I need to check my e-mail before I do anything. You can stay here until you have to go to work if you want to," Izaya said, lifting himself off the floor.

"Yeah…I'll do that." Shizuo took his overnight bag into the bathroom, closing the door and his thoughts of the raven.

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><p>Izaya was skimming through spam mail when there was a knock at his door. He frowned. Namie picked the worst times to actually follow directions. He strode to the door, opening it. It wasn't Namie.<p>

"Shinra?" he asked the spectacled man.

"Izaya! You've been blocking my calls and avoiding me for days now and…hey…are you alright?" Shinra asked, looking him over. The raven sighed.

"I'm _fine. _Come in, I guess," he huffed, letting the man enter his apartment. Shinra took out his medical bag, placing it on the counter.

"I'm not letting you give me a check-up," Izaya stated blandly.

"Yes, you are. You're past due. Besides, as much as you hate them, they're essential," Shinra retorted. The informant glared at him.

"This is my apartment. You will do as I say!" he hissed. The doctor winced at the venom in his voice.

"Shinra…?" Shizuo asked as he entered the room. He was dressed in fresh clothes, toweling his blond locks dry.

"_Shizuo_?" Shinra whirled to look at him, then back to Izaya.

"What's going on here?" he asked the two men.

"Obviously Shizu-chan took a shower, Shinra," Izaya grinned.

"And obviously you walk in at the worst times," Shizuo growled.

"_Obviously_ I wouldn't have to if my patients actually came to see me like they were supposed to! I've been calling both of you for weeks now!" The doctor wailed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Easy there, doc. Everything's fine," Shizuo assured him. Shinra leveled his gaze on the larger man, observing his face.

"Shizuo…you look great! Better than you have in awhile actually. Celty told me you were seeing a therapist. Who is it? They're doing a wonderful job!" he smiled enthusiastically.

"That's a secret, dear Shinra. Now if you would kindly _leave_…" Izaya began.

"Hell no! He may look good but you look like a zombie, Izaya! You're having a check-up today and that's final! Don't make me get the straps," Shinra yelled.

"I don't fucking want one! Get the straps then! I'll cut you to pieces before you can even use them!" The informant said just as loudly. Shizuo looked between them, prepared to intervene if things got physical.

"Have you seen yourself? Actually looked? Someone as vain as you can surely see when they look bad. How much weight have you lost? Are you aware you're whiter than a bed sheet now? More so than before? Go ahead and cut me all you want, but I'm going to do my job! And you know I won't leave until I do!" The spectacled man shouted. Izaya glared at him, but lowered his defenses.

"Fine. _Fine. _But only to shut you the hell up. Afterwards _leave!_" he snarled. Shinra went to get his bag, standing in front of the informant. He lifted the jacket sleeve.

"What's this?" he asked, running his fingers along the bandages.

"Mild injury. Get blood from the other arm," Izaya lied. Shinra was no idiot though. He knew the raven man enough to trust a word he said. He pulled lightly, tugging off the material, revealing deep criss-crossed slashes against ivory skin.

"My God…Izaya…" he said, observing them. He looked over at Shizuo who had his head turned away.

"What did you do?" he asked the raven.

"I was trying to carve my arm like a Christmas ham," Izaya rolled his eyes.

"I'm being serious! These are obviously self inflicted! What did you do it for?"

"I was punishing myself. Happy?"

"No, I'm not. This is horrible, Izaya."

"Ah, well. Not everyone appreciates art when they see it." The informant grinned at him. Shinra proceeded on with the exam, wrapping the injured arm back up again. He made the small man step on the scale.

"You've lost a lot of weight," he said, writing it down.

"Have to keep my girlish figure," Izaya said.

"Hmm, well it's on the verge of being emaciation. Eat more bread and high protein foods."

"Aye-aye, captain," the raven mock saluted. Shinra hit him with his clipboard.

"Ow! What the hell?" Izaya whined, rubbing his head.

"Stop acting like this is some sort of joke! You're killing yourself! Is that funny? Is it still such a damn good laugh?" Shinra wailed, throwing his chart down. "Here I've been worried sick for days and you've been here this whole time, wasting away!"

"Shinra…I'm fine," Izaya stubbornly said, picking up the charts and handing them to the spectacled man. "Everything is fine." he placed his hand on the doctor's shoulder.

"Believe it or not, I_ am_ your friend," Shinra mumbled, wiping moisture from under his glasses.

"My only friend," Izaya agreed, using his hands to wipe away the rest of the tears that threatened to fall.

"Don't waste tears for me. Haha, you know I'm almost invincible!" Izaya laughed, nudging the upset man playfully. Shinra rolled his eyes, looking back up at Shizuo, who had his head in his hands.

"Shizu-chan?" The informant asked, looking over at him too.

"Go take your shower now, flea. I need to tell Shinra how much better I'm doing," Shizuo said gruffly, not lifting his head.

"Ah, keeping secrets are we? That's fine. I do need to clean up for the day~," Izaya grinned, walking to his room for clothes, then to the bathroom.

"Shizuo?" Shinra asked when he was sure they were alone. The blond lifted his head, his chocolate eyes full of pain.

"Are you alright?" The doctor pressed. "You didn't try to throw Izaya once!"

"I don't do that anymore. He's…the one helping me," Shizuo admitted.

"Izaya is your therapist? I…well…I guess he's better than most. He always was good with the human mind I suppose. But what in the world made you go to him?"

"He came to me. And he's been helping me a lot… You see what he looks like. He spends all of his time making sure I'm okay, and doesn't worry about himself."

"But…I thought you'd be happy if Izaya got sick? Don't you hate him?" Shinra asked.

"…I did. I don't now," Shizuo said simply.

"Do you know why he cut his arm open?"

"No…" the blond lied. He couldn't tell the doctor everything that was going on. Izaya would never forgive him if more people knew. Shinra sighed.

"Look, I won't press you for information. I'm just going to give you a simple evaluation okay? If everything is going good, I won't say a word against you seeing Izaya as a doctor," he promised. Shizuo nodded.

They worked together, going over every little trivial question they always went over. The spectacled man raised his eyebrows.

"What?" Shizuo asked, concerned.

"You've made…exponential amounts of progress! At this rate, it's like you'll become one person again!" Shinra said happily. The brute felt his blood run cold.

"How…is that possible? Are you saying I'll…absorb my other personalities back in?" he asked.

"Hmm, it's almost unheard of. But I think so, yes. You will be able to be Tsugaru, Delic, Tsuki, and Shizuo all at once!"

"Then…what happens to them?"

"Shizuo, really. They're part of you anyway. I doubt it'll be a big deal if they return from where they came. Izaya truly is amazing!" The doctor said in awe.

"Mmm, yes I am," Izaya said, emerging from the steamy bathroom. "You were admiring my work with the protozoan?"

"How did you do it?" Shinra asked eagerly.

"That's a secret. My methods are entirely unorthodox, as you know. Anyway, I'm glad it's all working out." The informant grinned at Shizuo, who still looked petrified.

"Anyway guys…there was another reason I came here today... Seeing as how you're both here, I'll go ahead and tell you… Celty and I are getting married!" the doctor blurted. Obviously he had wanted to say that for some time.

"Eh…Congratulations!" Shizuo managed to choke out, slapping the doctor's back gently.

"How will she wear the veil?" Izaya asked, receiving a smack from the blond.

"We're having a party next week to celebrate the engagement. I want you both to be there. Izaya, eat more and take better care of yourself. Shizuo needs you to continue helping him do so well!" Shinra said, grasping his bag as he prepared to leave.

"Yes, yes. I know how Shizu-chan needs me," Izaya laughed, walking the man out.

"No…you don't know how I need you…" Shizuo murmured, his voice unheard.

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><p><em>Review for chapter 24! Gah, 24? We're moving right along, aren't we? Not too shabby for writing on impulse! :D Ah, and I've decided to mix things up. Hence:<em>

_Roppi:…What am I supposed to say?_

_Sachi: Tell them something to make them wanna keep reading and make them wanna leave a review of the chapter!_

_Roppi: Read and Review or I'll cut you._

_Sachi: That's not going to make anyone wanna read!_

_Roppi: Fine. Do it or I'll cut myself._

_Sachi: That's not any bettter!_


	24. Work

_As always, thanks to those who review so nicely! I had an awful weekend…So they really cheered me up! They really do fuel the chapters, haha. Now, on with the story!_

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><p><strong>Work<strong>

After the doctor left, Izaya went straight back to his computer. He sat typing, clacking away on the keys at such speed the blond could barely see his fingers move.

"Oi… How exactly is a chat room part of your job?" Shizuo asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Mmm, it's technically not. This is extra-curricular. The other tabs are work. If one of them starts blinking, they take priority. Right now I'm playing with my humans," Izaya said, still typing away. Shizuo frowned.

"Somehow…that seems like it can't be a good thing," he stated. Still…it didn't phase him like it should have. Usually, whenever the raven would say such odd things, Shizuo wouldn't know how to react. Now…it was just another kink that made Izaya who he was. Something he couldn't change, and the blond found he could…accept that?

"Shizu-chan. What are you doing?" Izaya asked, pausing his fingers on the keyboard.

"Hm?" Shizuo grunted. He had walked from his space at the edge of the desk to stand directly behind Izaya. He had his arms wrapped around the smaller man's torso over the chair. His head rested on the informant's shoulder.

"You're being awfully cuddly for a monster," Izaya laughed.

"I'm not cuddling. I'm creeping. Like you always do," Shizuo retorted.

"Creeping requires finesse. I don't randomly walk up to people and hold them while I watch them. That's truly creepy."

"You're not a random person. So technically your argument is void."

"Haha! Void? Shizu-chan used a word I wouldn't expect him to know!" Izaya giggled, continuing to type.

"Shut up… I know more than you think I do," Shizuo growled, staying in place. He truly just wanted to be closer to the lithe man. It was strange, their dynamic. Hate, hate, hate, curiosity, hate, torture, hate, creeping, hate, chasing, _hate_, insanity, hate, caring…hate? Love? Love. That's where it currently was.

"What time do you have to meet Tom?" Izaya's voice brought him from his thoughts,

"Not for 2 more hours. He's not in Ikebukuro yet," Shizuo replied.

"Hmm. I have a client coming here in a little while. You can stay, just don't cause any trouble."

"Trouble? Why would I interfere with your job?"

"I know you. Just act like you're a statue and stay quiet. Or I'll punish you~."

"What kind of chat room is this anyway?" Shizuo changed the subject, scanning the messages that scrolled across the screen.

"We're discussing the Blue Squares. Not my favorite topic, but what can you do? I can't control all of the topics otherwise it wouldn't be as interesting." Izaya grinned.

"Blue squares…not more fucking color gang shit. I hate it! The whole thing pisses me off!" Shizuo growled into the smaller man's ear.

"Most things piss you off. That's why you're fun. Anyway, why are you asking so much about me recently? Taking a genuine interest in my life now that I'm helping you out?" The raven leaned his head against the brute's, nuzzling slightly as he typed.

"Maybe I am. You doing the same by asking me so much about mine?" Shizuo retorted.

"I've always had a genuine interest in _your _life. You're one of my favorite topics." It was a simple statement. Just a statement. So why did it make Shizuo's heart beat excitedly? Why did he suddenly feel like maybe his feelings weren't unrequited? His mocha eyes scanned over what he could see of the other man. His crimson eyes running over the screen, his nimble fingers, the beginning of the bandages that were hidden by his sleeve, the way his tongue would poke out of his mouth when he had to type a long response, his skin…covered in red marks that had not yet disappeared from Delic and Hibiya's session.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, turning his head slightly to view the larger man behind him.

"Mmm?"

"How… How is Tsuki?" Izaya asked quietly.

"Tsuki? Oh…I haven't spoken to him. Why?"

"Roppi wanted to know."

"How's Hachimenroppi doing?" Shizuo questioned.

"No clue. He stopped talking after you couldn't answer him. He's difficult to read sometimes," Izaya sighed.

"I'll…tell you when I speak with him again," Shizuo promised. He stayed wrapped around the other man, neither of them saying a word for a long time. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, there was simply nothing left to discuss. Well…nothing the informant was willing to discuss anyway. Suddenly, a banging was heard from the door.

"Ah, must be my client. This shouldn't take long." Izaya rose from his chair and walked around the taller man, going toward the noise. Shizuo frowned, and walked toward the large sectional sofa, eager for whoever the intruder was to leave.

"Hello, Izaya-san," said a deep voice.

"Hello to you too, Kento-san." came the velvet voice of the informant. So they were chummy enough to be on a first name basis. The blond turned his head to see a very tall man wearing a black suit. His hair was pulled into a ponytail, his eyes looking rather fierce. The man known as "Kento" strode forward and shook Izaya's hand in greeting. Okay, so they were _very _chummy. The bodyguard didn't like this.

"Have a seat, have a seat." The raven pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "Tell me why you called and said it was urgent. I wasn't going to see you until after Shiki came back, but your voice changed my mind."

"That…is personal," Kento said, his head turning toward Shizuo on the couch. Izaya frowned.

"He's…my friend. I assure you he is as secretive as I am. No one else will know what we discuss," he said.

"Ah. Well, I need you to locate my father," Kento said gravely.

"Seems not so secretive. May I ask why you want him located?" Izaya pressed, already opening his other tabs on the monitor screen.

"I want you to kill him," said Kento. Izaya's fingers stopped typing and Shizuo's head snapped up.

"I'm an informant, not a hit-man," Izaya smiled. "I suggest you find another source if that's all you want from me."

"You don't understand, Izaya-san. My father stole my grandfather's inheritance that was to be left to my brother and myself. He's somewhere on vacation laughing it up while we pay off my late grandfather's debts!" Kento half shouted. "I want him exterminated!" his hand came down on the desk hard, reverberating the sound throughout the large apartment.

"Once again, that isn't my job. As sorry as I am to say to an old friend, I-"

"I know you can do it, Izaya-san! I know someone as good as sneaking around as you are can easily do it without getting caught!" The man interrupted.

"_Kento-san. _I won't do it. I can direct you to a decent hit-man once I locate him, that's all. I never dirty my own hands," Izaya said, still smiling pleasantly.

"Please, Izaya-san. You're the only one I trust." Kento placed his hand over the desk, on top of the informant's, squeezing it slightly. "Just do me this one favor. I'll pay double when I can afford it. Name your price."

To say Shizuo was mad at the man raising his voice was a bit rash. The blond rose his own voice more often than not, no big deal. To say he was angry at the man for asking Izaya to be a murderer was a little too nice. It had pissed the bodyguard off immensely. To say he was livid at the man for touching the informant in such a provocative way was a fucking understatement. He half-rose from his spot on the couch when-

"_Just don't cause trouble." _Izaya had said earlier. For all the blond knew, this could be a regular occurrence. Reluctantly, he remained seated, glaring hard at the dark man.

"The money isn't going to change my mind, Kento-san. While it normally does, this is one of my few principles. I'm declining, and that's final. Now if that's all you wanted, be on your way." Izaya's pleasant mask was falling more with every word. Carmine eyes narrowed at the larger man sitting across from him as he tried to remove his hand, only to have it tugged back roughly.

"It's always been about the money with you. From what I hear, you'll let anyone fuck you for the right information. Is that what it's going to take to get you to do this for me?" Kento hissed, pulling the smaller man's arm closer to himself.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up… _Shizuo was trying to think happy thoughts and not snap. But remembering exactly why he couldn't beat the guy's ass was becoming hard.

"Your intel is off. That's far from the truth. Besides, we both know you wouldn't be a decent lay." Izaya's eyes sneered at Kento as he glared hard.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I've read your files. Erectile dysfunction? You couldn't get it up if you wanted to~."

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL SHUT YOU UP ONCE AND FOR ALL!" The dark man tugged Izaya's arm forcefully, pulling him over the desk. He grabbed the black jacket, lifting the informant off the floor so they were face to face.

"Maybe I should…fill up that cocky mouth of yours?" Kento asked, licking his lips.

"Mmm, no. I'm not into appetizers," Izaya bit back.

"I've always thought you'd be a good fuck. Guess we'll find out?" The dark man was forcing his face closer to the raven's.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP!_

"HE SAID NO YOU FUCKING PERVERT!" Shizuo snarled, rising from the couch and pulling the informant against his own body with only one arm. He heard Izaya sigh.

"Who the hell are-" and Kento was effectively silenced by a fist in his face. Followed by another…and another…and…oh dear.

"Shizu-chan…I think if you don't stop he may die," Izaya grinned from his place in the brute's arm, observing interestedly.

"HE DESERVES IT!" Shizuo roared, picking up the dark man and throwing him in the hallway, slamming the door. He barely noticed that Izaya was wrapped around him like a cape, dangling his thin arms around his neck and…laughing? Dumbfounded, Shizuo sat the man back on the floor, watching him laugh hysterically. Not a snicker, or a sneer, but actual _laughing. _It was fucking weird!

"Oi. Are you okay over there? I just beat the shit out of your client and you're laughing like I threw a pie at him or something," Shizuo huffed.

"Hahahahaha! Oh, Shizu-chan that was so funny! So funny, so funny! Your face was practically _purple_! You're so cute when you're jealous!" Izaya laughed, holding his sides slightly. The taller man stared at him like he was on fire.

"It wasn't cute. I was saving you," he growled, looking at the floor.

"Kento was always rather handsy. I knew he'd try something eventually. I'm glad it was today, when you were here! I could've taken him myself but seeing you do it was too hilarious to pass up!" The raven wiped tears of mirth from his eyes as he resumed his perfect posture.

"You could've- wait, you PLANNED this?" Shizuo snarled.

"Of course not. He basically called me a whore, which infuriated me. So, I let you handle it. I would've killed him," Izaya smirked grimly.

"Where…would he have heard that rumor?" Shizuo bit his lip, looking at the floor again. He was aware that his face was tuning red.

"Are you curious to know of my sexual history?" Izaya asked shamelessly in a very "Delic-like" way. The taller man still stared at the floor, not saying anything.

"My first kiss was too long ago to remember. My first hand job was in high school. My first time giving a blow job…was with a monster. As was my first time actually having an orgasm by someone else's hands," Izaya said quietly.

"I…was your first?" Shizuo asked.

"I was yours too," Izaya stated.

Both men settled into an awkward silence, neither sure of what to say.

"I kinda thought…you know, since you're always so seductive…" Shizuo started.

"No. I don't have time for such things, working full time like I do. Not to mention the fact that everyone in this city is afraid of me. The same goes for you, right?"

"Yeah…that about sums it up," Shizuo agreed.

It occurred to them then that it was definitely interesting, how things were turning out. The two most dangerous men in the city were in a…relationship? There wasn't really a word for what they were. Izaya looked up into coffee eyes, smirking with his usual gaze.

"I like it when the monster gets flustered~."

"Sh-Shut up!" Shizuo growled.

Cocking his head to the side playfully, Izaya strode forward, placing his hands on either side of the brute's face, forcing eye contact.

"Shizu-chan's so cute," he said, connecting their lips. As they heatedly kissed, nipped, sucked, bit, and licked at each other, the thought came back to Shizuo's mind. There wasn't a name for what they were.

That was fucking fine by him.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Sorry, kinda short this time. I'm being bombarded with finals and classwork. Anywho,<em>

_Tsuki: …_

_Sachi: Tsuki! That's your cue!_

_Tsuki: Eh? Oh! R-Re-Review for the next chap-ttt-er!"_

_Roppi: Don't make him do this! He's hyperventilating! _

_Sachi: MUAHAHAHAHA! Now you have to give him mouth to mouth, Roppi!_

_REVIEW PLEEEEAAASSSEEE~! :D_


	25. Understanding

_Yay, chapter 25! I promise I'll make the chapters longer soon enough. As soon as finals are over, I'll be able to concentrate more on this…Enough excuses! On with mah story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Understanding <strong>

Shizuo left for work a little past three. They had decided to just meet the next day instead of later that night, because of the brute's clustered schedule.

"There's no reason for you to be traveling here so late at night. We'll pick back up tomorrow," Izaya had said.

"But…will you be okay?" Shizuo had asked.

"Of course. I'm Izaya fucking Orihara," was the playful reply.

Now, the sun was setting over the tops of the large buildings. Izaya watched the golden arches dance across the glass, scrolling across the buildings. He honestly wasn't sure of what to do with himself. He didn't have anyone to track down, the chat rooms were empty. Shizuo was gone…

"Maybe I should've just told him to come back here…" the raven thought out loud.

"_Just call him! He'll come here once he's off!" _Psyche said happily.

"I can't just do that. What does that say about me?" Izaya sighed.

"_That you enjoy his company? Yes, what a tragedy indeed," _Hibiya jeered.

"Shut up, Hibiya. Why don't you go let Delic fondle you some more?" Izaya snapped.

"_Haha! Well, they are in a relationship now~!" _Psyche sing-songed.

"They're what?" Izaya's eyes were wide. He remembered that he hadn't been conscious during any of the current sessions.

"_Stupid plebeian! I told you not to tell him that!" _Hibiya yelled.

"_Uwah! I'm sorry, Hibi-chan! It slipped!" _

"_Hey, Orihara. Did you know that Psyche and Tsugaru confessed to each other? They're in looovvvveee," _Hibiya retaliated.

"_Meanie! Mine was by accident!" _

Izaya stood beside the counter, listening to the voices inside his head argue with each other. He couldn't say he was mad, because he wasn't. Honestly, he had known it would lead to this direction.

"Congrats, you two. I guess you've tamed your monsters well," he said quietly.

"_Eh? I heard that correctly, right? You…congratulated us?" _Hibiya sounded flabbergasted.

"_Iza-chan! You're being so understanding!" _Psyche said.

"No. I'm just tired of fighting a useless battle. Since you're part of me, I know I can't control what you do entirely. You're just as stubborn as me. The more I tell you not to do something, the more you'll do it. So just do what you want."

"_Maybe you should tell Roppi that…He won't talk to either of us," _Psyche said sadly.

Izaya looked over his shoulder at the manifested raven sitting in the swivel chair. His arm had matching bandages and his usual fierce eyes were hollow as he stared blankly.

"Hachimenroppi. Manifesting again are we?" The informant asked, walking to the front of the desk.

"Yes. It gets tiring in there," Roppi pointed to Izaya's head.

"Psyche tells me I should talk to you. You're depressed?"

"Psyche is about as intelligent as a caterpillar."

"He's worried for you," Izaya explained.

"He's nosy," Roppi countered.

"Look," Izaya leaned against the desk and he got closer to the brooding male, "I'm not going to press and force you to tell me what's bothering you. But I'm not stupid. I know something is obviously wrong with you."

"I scared Tsuki. He trusts me so much and all I can do is hurt him…" Roppi looked out the window, avoiding the carmine gaze. "He told me…he loved me…and I slashed myself to pieces in front of him."

Izaya frowned at the word "love" but didn't comment on it.

"Hmm. Seems like a weird way to respond," Izaya said dryly. Roppi glanced up at him.

"You're being awfully blasé about this. No yelling this time? No telling me that I can't make my own decisions? How unlike you."

"Well, don't get used to it. I'm too tired to fight you," Izaya said, yawning. "Do you actually want advice?"

"Do you actually have any that won't piss me off?"

"I do. Explain your position to him. From what I heard, Tsuki is the understanding type. He'll listen," Izaya suggested.

"I don't know what to tell him. What can I say that'll make him forgive me for scaring him so bad?"

"You could try saying you're sorry. That's always an option."

"Could…you let me…talk to him?" Roppi asked, blushing a little bit.

"You're _asking _me? Wow, you're being so considerate! Here I thought you all just did what you wanted. If you want to go see him, I won't stop you. Just know that the brute is working late tonight," Izaya laughed.

"He left you all alone? Haha, what will you do here all by yourself?" Roppi looked up at him.

"I'm not alone. You're here, aren't you?" Izaya smirked.

"Yes. But I'm not supposed to be."

* * *

><p>Shizuo walked beside Tom, letting his mind wander. He barely noticed where they were going, what they were doing, who he was punching.<p>

"Hey, you alright? You seem out of it tonight," Tom remarked, glancing over his shoulder.

"Just thinking," Shizuo replied. There was so much on his mind at the moment he felt like he'd burst. Shinra had said he'd lose his personalities and become one person again. That was a good thing…right?

"Anything you want to discuss?" Tom pressed.

"Nah. It's not anything too important. Who else is on the agenda tonight?"

"A man named Kento Watanabe. He's borrowed a lot of money from me and hasn't paid any of it back," Tom scoffed. Shizuo's eyes widened.

"Kento?" _Couldn't be the same guy…_

"Yeah. His grandfather died or something. I don't know, or care. I just want my money. Ready to do this?"

"Hell yeah." Shizuo snarled animal like as they walked to some upscale apartments. Finally, he could beat someone up he actually wanted to.

"Watanabe-san isn't here. He's at the hospital," a maid said as she answered the door.

"Do you know when he'll be released?" Tom asked.

"No sir. His injuries seemed pretty bad. Can I take a message?"

"No. We'll visit later. Have a good evening." The two men stepped back out into the streets.

"Damn! People keep beating me to my own targets!" The dreadlocked man sighed.

"Hmm. Maybe the dick deserved it," Shizuo remarked, following his irate boss.

"Hell, I know he did. Anyway, he was the last one I needed you to get tonight. It was going to take time, but I guess now you're free to leave if you want to. Hopefully the bastard is out in a week. We'll send him back to the hospital."

Shizuo grinned, looking at his watch. It was ten p.m. Sighing, he observed his feet as he set off to his apartment. He really half-hoped the smaller man would be there like last time. He trudged through the bustling streets, mildly noting that it was cloudy outside. If it rained, he would sleep good that night at least. He opened his door and…silence.

Izaya hadn't come after all. His apartment was empty. Shizuo disappointedly changed clothes, put food in the microwave, and went to the window to smoke. He stared at the dark clouds moving over the moon, blowing smoke out every now and then. He wondered what the smaller man was doing. He hoped the damn informant was alright. When the beeping of the machine signaled the food was ready, he ground out the tiny remainder of his cigarette, rising to shut the beeping up. He sat on the couch, flipping on the television. Damn, nothing good was on. He settled on some stupid sitcom and ate in silence, when his door opened.

"Shizuo, I need a favor," Hachimenroppi shoved through the opening like he owned the place, stopping in front of the blond man. He was dripping wet.

"Hachimenroppi? What-Is everything okay? Is Izaya-?"

"Yes, yes, Izaya is fine. Well, fine as he usually is. I…need to speak with Tsuki," Roppi admitted, glaring at his feet.

"Right now?" The brute was surprised by the boldness the other man was showing.

"No. I walked here in a rainstorm and burst in your apartment just to ask you that before I left," Roppi said sarcastically in a very "Izaya-like" way.

"Fine, fine. Damn pesky fleas…" the blond grumbled, rising to put his plate in the sink before going to his small bedroom to get the items Tsuki would need. When he emerged, he was no longer Shizuo.

"R-Roppi! How…are you?" Tsuki asked, his garnet gaze resting on the bandages.

"I'm…fine…" the smaller man stated, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"No you're not! You're soaking wet! Come on!" Tsuki dragged the other man to the tiny washroom to remove his sopping jacket and forcibly dry him with a towel.

"Tsuki! Tsuki, I can dry myself!" Roppi exclaimed as he was assaulted with the terry cloth material.

"No, let me do it! You only got soaked because you came here to see me! It's my fault…It's my fault you cut yourself too…" Tsuki whimpered. Roppi looked up to see his eyes full of tears.

"That wasn't your fault. It was mine. That's…actually why I'm here…I'm…sorry. I'm so sorry." Roppi used the edges of the towel to dry the taller man's tears.

"But…I thought I made you do it…because I wouldn't leave…"

"I would've done it anyway. Probably worse if you hadn't stopped me… Forgive me, Tsuki."

The blond smiled gently down at the man, slowly moving the towel over raven tresses.

"Of course I forgive you. I lo-…like you a lot." he said, moving the towel down to Roppi's neck. "Your clothes are all soaked. Do you want to wear some of Shizuo's? You'll get a cold."

"That sounds good." They went to dig out some dryer clothes for the sopping man. He decided on a simple t-shirt and sweatpants. Tsuki laughed.

"I've never seen Roppi dressed so casually! It's funny!" he giggled.

"They're all I have," Roppi mumbled, flushing. He scratched his wounded arm. The bandages were sticking from the moisture and it was uncomfortable.

"Stop that. You'll cut them open again," Tsuki said, unwrapping the offending material. His eyes scanned over the wounded flesh. He moved his fingers over the gashes gently. He lowered his mouth, kissing them.

"Tsuki…" Roppi's voice was filled with sadness.

"Don't do this anymore. Your skin is too pretty to cut open like this," Tsuki said quietly, kissing up the arm. His lips moved up the Roppi's shoulder, then to his neck, up to his jaw line. Their eyes met.

"I won't do it ever again… I don't want it to hurt you, too," Roppi whispered.

"Hurt me all you want. Just don't hurt yourself." Tsuki ran his fingers through black hair, marveling at the man before him as he re-wrapped fresh bandages over the wounds. He looked down at the blushing raven. Hesitantly, he brought their lips together. It was a gentle kiss… At least, it started out that way. Roppi brought his arms up to intertwine around the taller man's neck, and Tsuki's large hands rested on thin hips. Taking initiative, the blond ran his tongue along the raven's bottom lip. Roppi couldn't believe how forward the gentle man was being, but he opened his mouth and welcomed the curious tongue as it moved around his own.

"R-Roppi…you taste…amazing," Tsuki moaned before he resumed his deep kissing. The smaller man was pushed against the wall as he was devoured, his quiet moans swallowed by the blond. Roppi's hands moved to Tsuki's back, scratching across the clothing. The taller man groaned at the harsh treatment.

"I love it when you do that…" Tsuki whispered, licking along the raven's mouth. He pulled their bodies closer, accidentally pushing their hips together.

"Nnn, Fuck…Tsuki…" Roppi hissed, repeating the action.

"You're…hard…" Tsuki mumbled against his lips.

"You are, too…"

"…What should we do?" Tsuki asked, sounding nervous. Roppi laughed quietly.

"Tsuki, you're so cute sometimes," he said as he put his hand inside the blond's sweatpants.

"Hah…Roppi…." The tall man moaned, resting his forehead against the raven's. "What…are you doing?"

"This is how you fix it…" Roppi said, moving his hand along the length. He started slow, moving his fingers from the base to the tip, loving the whimpers the blond was making as he held on to him for dear life. He was taken by surprise when Tsuki mimicked his actions, moving his hand inside the raven's pants. Roppi purred, connecting their mouths again as he showed Tsuki how to move his hand correctly by example. His nimble fingers started moving faster, stroking the blond rather harshly as he swallowed the moans.

"Rop-Roppi…Roppi…" Tsuki repeated like a mantra, mirroring the smaller man's hand as he stroked the raven in return.

"Feel…alright?" Roppi asked, going even faster.

"_Incredible_…ah…"

"Agreed…"

Their hands continued until Roppi heard a strangled cry from the blond. Tsuki's release splattered in his hand first, the man panting hard. Roppi was quick to follow, hearing Tsuki choke out his name as he came pushing him over the edge. Tsuki slumped on top of him, crushing him against the wall. They were both breathing hard, looking into each other's eyes. Roppi found forgiveness in those ruby eyes. Tsuki found the emotion he wanted to see in the raven's garnet gaze.

"I…love you, Roppi," Tsuki said, kissing the smaller man's forehead.

"…I know… you do…" Roppi whispered, leaning into the touch.


	26. Continuation

_Last chapter only got 2 reviews! Did it suck that bad? Ehhhhhhh, you guys can't get me all jacked up on 8 reviews a chapter and then cut me off! __icywarm__ and __Braverly Homunculus__, you guys each get 100,00 exp points and a giant cookie for being the only ones who reviewed! On another note, I finally caved in and wrote a Tsukioppi one-shot, haha. I couldn't resist! So, if you're into that particular pairing, give it a quick read and review too~. Much love to those who are still bearing with me despite my fucked schedule! On with the huffin' story!_

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><p><strong>Continuation <strong>

Tsuki and Roppi stayed up most of the night, simply talking. They discussed trivial things, shared secrets. The blond held the other man close, continuously saying those three words as their lips would meet. Roppi found he enjoyed hearing them, even if he couldn't say them back. Both men were weary, but tried to fight the sleep that threatened to consume them. This time, Tsuki seemed to be the most tired.

"Go to sleep, Tsuki. Fighting it is unhealthy," Roppi had said gently, pushing blond locks away from thick glasses.

"Noooo. I wanna stay with Roppi…" the stubborn man groaned in reply.

"You are with me. We'll go to sleep together."

"But when we wake up we won't see each other…"

Roppi sighed, pulling the covers properly over them before he kissed the taller man's cheek.

"We'll see each other soon enough. Stop arguing with me and sleep!"

"Mmmm. I like it when you're concerned for me," Tsuki mumbled, closing his eyes.

"I like it when you listen," Roppi countered, watching him closely.

"I love you."

"So you've said."

"I'll say it always."

"If you don't go to sleep, I won't listen to it anymore."

"Yes you will. You like it when I say it…"

Roppi removed the blond's glasses, putting them on Shizuo's small bedside table. He settled into the pillow, and stroked the other man's face.

"I do like to hear it…" he admitted softly. Tsuki's eyes opened a little.

"I love you, Roppi."

"…Say it again."

"Love you…love you…love…" The blond's eyes were slipping closed again. "You…lo-…"

Roppi chuckled, cuddling closer to the warm man.

"I…like it…that you love me," he whispered, letting his drowsiness consume him as well.

* * *

><p>Shizuo awoke, wearily staring at the other man in his bed. Izaya was wearing his clothes, his head against the pillow as he breathed softly out of his mouth. The brute grinned as he watched the informant sleep. It was his favorite expression the raven had. Like an innocent child. Shizuo shuffled, trying to get comfortable. The movements caused ruby eyes to open slightly.<p>

"Damn protozoan…stop moving…" Izaya groaned, pulling the taller man's body closer against his own.

"Sorry…didn't mean to wake you up," Shizuo whispered.

"Roppi…seems to be happy today for a change…" Izaya said sleepily.

"That's good. He freaked me out last night."

"Mmm-hmm. He spoke to me last night in my dream. Actually thanked me. I'm not too sure…of what to do with that yet," Izaya grinned.

"Do…you have to leave today?" Shizuo asked.

"Not for awhile. Why? Shizu-chan wants me to stay?"

"…It'd be nice…having company."

"Heh. I'll stay then. But I'm sleeping," Izaya replied.

"That's fine. You could use it."

"I'm not used to you being so friendly. It's creepy."

"I'm not fucking creepy!" The brute hissed.

"Shizu-chan's a creeper! Creeper, creeper~!"

"Shut the hell up and go to sleep already!"

Izaya smirked, and settled into the blond's warm embrace.

"Remember in high school when I'd always sleep on the roof during classes?" he asked suddenly.

"Hmm. Yeah. Kadota would always tell me to go wake you up," Shizuo remembered.

"Did you ever think we'd end up in this position?" Izaya looked up.

"Nope. I didn't think about anything though besides killing you."

"Haha. I was awake that day you came up there with me, you know."

"The hell are you talking about, flea?"

"That day I skipped math and went to nap. You came out a little after I did and you walked right up to me. I think you were trying to kick me," Izaya laughed.

"Your point?"

"You stopped and stood over me for a moment. Then laid down a little ways from me and went to sleep yourself."

"So?" Shizuo huffed.

"You could've killed me then."

"I'm not so low as to attack people in their sleep. I wanted you to be awake when I pummeled you," Shizuo replied.

"I don't think you ever had any intention at all of killing me, Shizu-chan. I think you wanted to curl up beside me and sleep like you did then~."

"N-No! I hated you! I really did!"

"So you don't hate me now? You keep talking in past tense. Your feelings have changed?" Izaya pressed.

"I don't know…"

"You do know. Tell me, Shizu-chan."

"I…don't want to kill you anymore…I like having you around…" The blond mumbled, fiddling with the white scarf he still wore from last night. Suddenly, he found it hard to look the other man in the eye.

"Why? How can you go from murderous intent to being so gentle? Is it a monster thing? Maybe you like me because I'm putting you back together."

"That's not why I like you!" Shizuo snapped. His face burned when he realized he admitted to liking the other man. Carmine eyes widened.

"So you like me then."

"You like me, too."

"Don't get cocky. I want you better so I can kill you fairly~."

"You want me better because you care," Shizuo countered.

"Don't act like you know me. I assure you, you don't know me at all." Izaya's voice had an edge to it.

"Then don't pick stupid fights." Shizuo's voice also had an edge. They glowered at each other. Shizuo ran his thumb along the raven's bottom lip, observing the hostile glare that was sent his way.

"I don't know…why I like you now. I just do," he admitted.

"And here I wanted an explanation," Izaya smirked.

"I don't analyze things to death like you. I like to feel the moment, not plan my feelings."

"Must be a monster thing."

"Nope. It's a Shizuo thing," Shizuo grinned. Izaya laughed.

"Always interesting, Shizu-chan. You never bore me," he snickered. "Even before I knew of your condition, you were my favorite non-human."

The topic of his condition revived the sinking feeling the brute felt in his stomach.

"Did you hear what Shinra said yesterday? About my personalities?"

"I heard him call me amazing. I always knew I liked that man," Izaya replied.

"No, before that. He said…I'm becoming a whole person again…"

"That's what we've been aiming for. I'm glad," Izaya said genuinely.

"I'm…scared…" Shizuo mumbled, looking anywhere but at Izaya. He felt two hands on his face, the cool metal of rings against his skin. The smaller man forced their gazes to meet.

"Shizu-chan. You won't be losing anything. You'll be gaining. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"But I'm…a monster…Without them, that's all I can ever be."

"That's all I ever want you to be." Russet eyes flickered with various emotions as they gazed into chocolate brown.

"Don't be scared of change. It's natural and expected. You should embrace it. If things stayed the same, you'd be throwing me out the window right now."

"Heh…That's true. What…will I do if I can't function without them?" Shizuo asked quietly.

"I'll be there with you, Shizu-chan. I'll make sure you behave," the raven replied without any sarcasm in his voice. He observed as Shizuo's eyes grew darker as his pupils widened at the words. He eyed the blond steadily.

"What do you think it'll be like? Being whole?" Shizuo asked.

"For you? It should be wonderful. You'll be able to control your nasty temper better. You'll have confidence, and the right amount of gentleness. You'll be an improved little beast," Izaya explained.

"Is it harder for you now? That you're no longer whole?"

"It's…difficult. I will admit that. But it's nothing I can't handle. It's harder than I thought it would be. I…miscalculated a little."

Shizuo couldn't believe the man was admitting he made a mistake. It was definitely a first.

"Izaya…Can't you put yourself back together now?" he asked.

"Not until you're well. Otherwise it will have all been for nothing, Shizu-chan."

"What if…it's too late then?" Shizuo voiced his fear. He watched the other man process this with a slight frown.

"You worry too much," he sighed, stroking blonde hair.

"You don't worry enough."

"I do when it's necessary. I don't worry about myself, because I don't put myself in situations I can't handle." Izaya said. Shizuo was silent, as he stared at the other man. His eyes said that the conversation was far from over.

"Shizu-chan…stop looking at me like that. It's unsettling."

"Good," Shizuo said. "I want you to get help."

"I want you to shut up."

"I want you to make me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Isn't it always?" Shizuo growled, kissing the other man roughly. Izaya kissed him in return, just as harshly. They found this to be more productive than arguing.

"I'm about to…have to leave for work…" Shizuo said between kisses.

"You have the oddest schedule in the world, Shizu-chan," Izaya purred, rolling his tongue in the other's mouth.

"You're making me not want to go…" Shizuo ran his hands down the raven's back, going up the shirt.

"Mmm. Then skip."

"I really want to…" Rough hands moved to the front, abusing the raven's chest.

"Shizu-chan…ah…" Izaya's voice was making him aroused. Regrettably, he glanced at his clock.

"I can't afford it…I need to go…" Shizuo hissed, but made no motions to get up. The smaller man glanced up at him.

"I understand. Get dressed and go," Izaya smirked, kissing the other again.

"Hah…How am I supposed to do that when you've got yourself wrapped around me?"

"Talent," Izaya giggled, forcing their tongues together again. Shizuo lost himself in the heated kiss, sucking on that devilish muscle that roamed his mouth.

"You're such a good kisser…" Izaya mumbled in the few seconds their mouths were separated.

"You're such a tease."

"You like me, though."

"I already said I did, louse."

"Shizu-chan wants to fuck me~."

"Shut up. There are better things to do with your mouth." Their lips collided again. Reluctantly, the blond rose from the bed, the informant rising with him. He couldn't shake the damn man off! Well, he wasn't really trying…but the smaller man did have quite the grip around his neck.

"I-Izayaaaa…I really have to work…" Shizuo said as best as he could with the other's tongue in his mouth.

"I'm not stopping you~."

"Yes you are! This is playing dirty!"

"You think I'm dirty?"

"_Flea!" _Shizuo hissed, pushing the other back down on the bed, silencing him with a nibble on his lips. He looked down at the other man's expression. Those swollen lips would be the death of him, really.

"Will you be here…when I get back?" the brute asked.

"Nope," Izaya grinned wickedly. Mocha eyes had a sad expression in them before Izaya spoke again.

"You're coming to my place. I have to be home tomorrow, so I can be close to the place where I'm meeting my boss."

"Oh…okay, that's fine. I'll be there as soon as Tom lets me go," Shizuo promised. He observed the raven's small frame rise from the bed, his clothes swallowing him up.

"I guess I'll have to go home in these. My clothes are still soaked." Izaya grimaced down at his wardrobe.

"You look fine. Don't knock my clothes, leech."

"They smell like you. I'm not knocking them."

"Was…that a compliment?" Shizuo was shocked.

"Maybe~. See you later, Shizu-chan," Izaya said, licking his lips seductively, turning on his heel to leave. The blond watched him open the door and step out, before he too rose from the bed.

"Damn louse…I'm gonna be late now…" he growled, noticing his pants were considerably tighter.

* * *

><p><em>I have a theory for why no one reviewed. It's because I didn't whore anyone out in the post-script, right? I'll fix that now!<em>

_Izaya: Review and I'll put my vote in for a nice steamy night with Shizu-chan~._

_Sachi: Eh? But we were going in that direction anyway…_

_Izaya: Shhh! They didn't have to know that! Let them think they single handedly control the chapters! That is the key to controlling humans!_

_Sachi: Oh I see. Review and…they'll…do what they were already going to do before anyway, but you won't know that, except that you do now because I just told you, but you'll forget that soon enough anyway because I said so._

_Shizuo: *head explodes*_

_Izaya: Are you trying to mind fuck the world?_

_Sachi: Review like that all made sense and you'll get virtual love!_


	27. Game

_Hahahaha! My mind fuck worked! I got uber reviews last chapter! You guys ROOOCK~! I checked my phone repeatedly in the break room and would flail about whenever I got a review or a favorite story alert. Eventually, my manger just gave in and danced with me, though he didn't know why. (The secret dance word was "ricochet" which comes up a lot when you throw stuff at people) This chapter contains mostly just dialogue, but I feel like I got their characters pretty good. Anywho, I hope your minds are all alright! On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Game<strong>

When Shizuo got off work, he went straight to the raven's apartment. He didn't know why he was rushing, really. But rush he did. He ran into at least three people before he got the bright idea to slow down. Still walking briskly, he arrived in Shinjuku ahead of schedule. He burst into the large apartment, startling Izaya, who was at his computer.

"Shizu-chan! You scared me!" he whined.

"Sorry…" Shizuo mumbled, sitting his bag on the floor. He observed the other man.

"You're still wearing my clothes," he stated.

"Ah, yes. They're comfortable. Plus no one was coming here today, so I saw no reason to gussy myself up," the informant shrugged, continuing to type.

"Hmph. Well sorry my tastes are so bland then…" Shizuo huffed, taking off his vest and unbuttoning his shirt as he stepped into the washroom.

"I didn't say that…" he heard the other man say quietly as he shut the door.

"Sounded like it to me," the blond called back, changing into more comfortable clothes.

"Because your brain is the size of a pebble," Izaya said loudly.

"Fine, then what were you saying? Since my brain is so small I don't wanna risk a brain explosion or something," the bodyguard huffed, entering the other room again, dressed in night clothes. He saw the raven blush while his fingers paused over the keys.

"I kept them on because your scent calmed me down…" Izaya mumbled, not looking up from the monitor. Shizuo froze in the doorway, not sure he heard right. Had the smaller man always been so…cute?

"They did, huh?" he grinned, walking over to the blushing male.

"Shut up." Izaya scowled, not looking up.

"No, I don't think I will. Tell me more about how I calm you down so much," Shizuo grinned, putting his fingers over the raven's, ceasing the typing.

"Shizu-chan, I am too busy to play your silly games," Izaya said.

"Too bad. I'm stronger than you and I caught you. So answer me."

"You're such a baby."

"You're the one being whiny."

Carmine eyes glanced over at the blonde, giving in. Izaya turned his chair to face the other man.

"What is it you wanted to know?"

"I was nice earlier and told you how I feel. So now you tell me."

"You didn't tell me why. So I don't feel like I should have to," Izaya shrugged.

"Izayyyyaaaaaaaaa~," Shizuo said menacingly, towering over the smaller male.

"Fine. I don't want to kill you either. I like it when you're here. I can't function properly without you around…and…" Izaya looked away, toward the floor. "I guess…I like you, too…to an extent."

"Good boy." The blond smirked, rubbing the other man's head affectionately.

"I'm not a dog! Go sit on the couch or something!" Izaya grumbled, turning his swivel chair so fast Shizuo swore he heard a whip-like sound. He laughed, but did as he was told, leaving the other man to finish his work.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya called over to the seated bodyguard on the sectional sofa a few minutes later.

"Hmm?"

"Are you staying in here tonight?" Izaya was standing and shutting off his equipment. Shizuo stood too, stretching.

"No. I was waiting for you, stupid," he huffed. Carmine eyes observed him.

"I never said you could spend _every _night in my room you know. Maybe a night on the couch would do you some good."

"You also never said I couldn't. Plus, we both know you'd let me in," Shizuo smirked, quoting the other man from one of their earlier conversations. His cheekiness was met with a wicked grin.

"Mmm. Perhaps I would~."

The two men walked into the large bedroom, Izaya getting under the duvet first. He pulled the thick cover up to his chin and looked sweetly at the brute.

"Shizu-chaaaaan. Hurry and turn off the light!"

"Tch. Damn louse." But the light went out regardless as the blond climbed over the smaller man, settling in beside him.

"Have you always been so childish?" Shizuo asked blatantly. There was a loud sigh beside him.

"Asking me even more questions… Really, what _is _your sudden fixation with me?" Izaya asked, his earlier cute tone replaced with inquisition.

"Just wondering…"

"Hmm, I have an idea, Shizu-chan. Since you keep wanting to know so much about me, let's make it into a game," Izaya grinned.

"Game? That sounds like it's gonna be a bad idea."

"Nope~! It'll be fun! Let's see…how about every question you ask me, I have to answer it honestly, and vice versa. We each get three passes, but whoever uses all three first loses!" Izaya was giddy with excitement.

"Passes?"

"Ugh, like if I ask you something you 100% don't want to answer, you can pass. But only twice. If you use the third one, you're the loser."

"What does the loser do as punishment?" Shizuo inquired.

"…Well, I obviously can't win any money off of you. How about loser has to give Shinra an inspirational hug and can't explain why?"

"…Where do you come up with this crazy shit?" Shizuo sighed.

"Agree with the conditions, or I won't play with you~!" Izaya sing-songed. The monster could think of a few better uses of the word "play" but chose to take what he could get.

"Fine," he growled.

"Yay! Since you're the one asking so much, it's my turn first. Hmm…is your natural hair color the same as your brother's?" The raven asked.

"Kinda. Mine's a little lighter than his. It's dark brown," Shizuo replied.

"Ah. Your move, Shizu-chan."

There were so many things he wanted to ask! But, starting slow would be best.

"Why didn't you ever wear the uniform in high school?"

"Eh? Because it was gaudy and conforming. Why should a being such as myself blend in with society? Orihara Izaya is to be noticed among the throng of people, regardless of how many! Plus…I liked for you to be able to pick me out of the crowd." The informant's explanation surprised the taller man. Of course, he _had _been able to spot the other in a large crowd. All he ever had to do was look for the student not in the required dressing.

"My turn~! Why do you insist on smoking so much? It's filthy," Izaya randomly blurted in the darkness.

"Nicotine is stress relieving. And I like the taste of tobacco," Shizuo shrugged. "Now, why are you so insistent that you are above everyone else?"

"Because I am. No one else can love mankind like me. No one else even tries! Oh, do you _see _Shizu-chan? I am what our lovely little city needs! I watch over them, I answer their prayers, I provide them with escape when they want it, I alone can be their god! They don't know it yet, but they need me!"

Shizuo wasn't at all surprised by this monologue. He knew of the other's eccentricities.

"Now, why haven't you told Kasuka of your disorder?" Izaya pressed.

"…Pass," Shizuo grumbled. The raven giggled.

"Only one more good one, Shizu-chan~. Okay, let's see…why are you suddenly so interested in my work?"

"…I…like to know where you're going to be…in case, y'know…one of us snaps…" Shizuo admitted, staring at the black ceiling. He felt the other man move closer.

"Mmm. What a cynical view of things," Izaya replied, resting the side of his face against the bare chest, grateful that the brute slept without a shirt.

"Are you really in control of things right now?" Shizuo asked. Both of them knew what he was referring to.

"Pass," Izaya smirked, whispering his reply into the other's ear.

"Fine. Tell me how everyone in your family is so fucked up, yet you claim to be from humble backgrounds."

"Haha! My parents are entirely ordinary, I assure you. The problem was that they were never around. I already told you about how I was forced to create my own fun more often than not. Well, that didn't change at all even when I was forced to watch Mairu and Kururi. They…got their eccentricities from me, I suppose. I'm mostly the one that raised them." Izaya replied.

"I thought you hated them though," Shizuo said.

"They annoy me to death. I can't control a thing they do. You can solve those pieces of the puzzle yourself. Now, tell me why you're working for Tom," Izaya said.

"He was one of the only people that would hire me since my _police _incident got me fired from my bar tending job." Shizuo hissed as the other man laughed; there was no apology said over the matter.

"Ahaha! Priceless!" Izaya laughed.

"Tell me why you really split yourself up," Shizuo interrupted.

"Ehhh? Because-"

"And I want the real reason. Not because you felt like it, or because you wanted to observe first hand. I want the real answer."

Izaya turned his head a little to look through darkness at the gruff man staring at the ceiling.

"I wanted to help," he said passively.

"But why?"

"I only answer one per round, Shizu-chan. It's my turn now. What is your biggest fear?"

"Hurting someone I care about. You?"

"…Losing control…" Izaya whimpered, moving even closer to his bed mate. "What is your most vivid nightmare?"

"I replay the day I hurt the store lady over and over until I wake up. It used to happen a lot, but now it doesn't. Yours?"

"I'm standing on a pedestal, admiring. Then one of my humans looks up and shakes the foundation that holds me, so I fall and become one of them…mindlessly walking in a line to a meaningless destination." The raven's voice was quiet. Shizuo frowned.

"Seems pretty fucked up," he stated.

"Indeed," Izaya agreed. They stared more at the ceiling together, the blond's arm lowering to the raven's shoulder, comforting him.

"If you could control your temper, what's the first thing you would do?" The informant moved his body, turning so that he was now facing the other man.

"I'd…walk through the city, listening to conversations that wouldn't piss me off… I'd get into an argument with you… I'd tell Shinra 'thanks' for all he's done… I'd do a lot," Shizuo finished, also moving so he was facing the informant.

"I bet," Izaya grinned.

"Do you think Shinra and Celty will last?" Shizuo blurted, eager to change the subject. Izaya blinked at him.

"…Yes. But only because they're both too loony to find anyone else," he explained. "Why do let me call you 'Shizu-chan' now with no hassle?"

Until then, the brute hadn't even noticed it. He had, in fact, been letting the other man call him pretty much whatever he wanted. He forgot it used to piss him off. He…enjoyed having a pet name from the other. It was soothing. But like hell he'd say that to the cheeky bastard!

"Pass," he said stubbornly. Izaya smirked widely.

"Hehe, one more and you lose~. Do you believe in God?"

"Wha-…I like the _idea_ of one…" Shizuo shrugged.

"But do you _believe _in God?"

"As of now? Not really. But I wouldn't mind learning about the concept."

"You're the type that wants to believe when you die, something amazing will happen," Izaya sighed.

"You don't want that?"

"Haha, I don't need that to feel safe and secure. I'm content knowing that this is all I get. I just need to make the best of it, since there are no second chances," Izaya said.

"I never thought of it that way… Carpe Diem crap, I guess."

"Seems like it."

They settled into silence once again. The only sounds in the room were the gentle breathing of both men and the sound of Shizuo's hand running lightly over Izaya's bare arm. The raven was getting tired, but he wanted to win. The blond only had one more time to pass, and that would be the end. Absently nuzzling the other man, he smirked deviously, knowing his next move. It was rather cruel, but it was his last resort. Besides, he was genuinely curious; it wasn't about hatred. It was the question itself.

"Shizu-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me?"

Mocha eyes widened and his hand stopped stroking the other's arm. He felt the sly raven put his hands over his heart, feeling the rapid beat under his fingertips as he awaited a response. Shizuo inwardly cursed at his stupidity. If he lied, Izaya would know due to the heart palpitations. If he told the truth, who knew what would happen? If he passed, he lost. It was a nasty catch 22 if there ever was one! But…

"Pass."

Izaya only smiled.

* * *

><p><em>Mean ol' Izzy! Ah, well he usually is mean. Now, to promise more outlandish things to reviewers! <em>

_Psyche: Those who review will get a lifetime supply of crayons!_

_Sachi: Wtf…_

_Hibiya: Stupid! Who wants crayons that badly?_

_Psyche:…People with a lot of paper?_

_Sachi: Alright well…uh…have at it then…(Please~!) _


	28. Assigned Off

_You guys are spoiling me with so many reviews~! Really, they mean so much to me! Hence, more virtual love! __icy warm__, it seems your name comes up in every chapter haha, you are my most frequent reviewer! __mjaacw, __we've already had our moment in a PM, but once again thank you for reviewing too! __FallingforWerewolves, __indeed his pass was an answer all on its own! Also, I saw you added my Tsukioppi one-shot to your faves! Thank yooou! __Kimikokawaii, __your review made my night~! That's how I wanted the end to be! __Anonlurker__, not only did I steal your first review but I also stole about 4 or 5 of them now. I hope to steal many more! __Poveromo__, we could all use those crayons! Thanks for the compliment! __.71192__, you also review frequently. Brownie points to you! __Threegreenbeans__, thanks! Keep checking for updates~! Also, you're my only review on my one-shot, so 100,000 exp points to you! __Kitsune Demon Girl__, yes, it is a lot of crayons. I look forward to when they can be honest of their feeling too! Finally, __Slayers64__, it's actually really difficult writing their thoughts separately. See, if I did that in a third person story, I'd have to include all the characters thoughts, and I didn't want to do that seeing as how two of the characters have three other beings inside of them…But now I feel like I need to try, since you were nice enough to leave me two reviews and add me to your alerts…So I tried to add the thought process to this chapter, just to prove that I listen…do any of those explanations make sense? Does anything I do make sense? Gah, I'm confusing myself! *hits head against keyboard* _

_Izaya: Um…_

_Shizuo: Right, so…I guess I'll introduce the chapter while she's freaking out…_

_Izaya: On with the story~!_

_Shizuo: Fucking flea! It was my turn!_

* * *

><p><strong>Assigned Off<strong>

The room was horribly sunny. Shizuo tried to ignore the streams of gold streaking in, but found it horribly impossible. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and looked around, trying to figure out where the hell he was.

He was sprawled out in Izaya Orihara's bed. Yes, _sprawled. _The reason for his sloppy sleeping posture was not his own fault, but the man with whom he shared the bed with. Shizuo had one leg off the bed, the covers completely off that side of his body. His other leg was wrapped around the sheets. One of his arms was under the pillow, the other was draped across his abdomen.

_Izaya, _on the other hand, was the problem. He had his head hanging over the edge, his arms wildly positioned as if to stop himself from hitting the ground in case he fell. His legs were sprawled over Shizuo's body, one of his knees touching the other man's chin, the other joined the blond's in hanging off the other side of the bed. If Shizuo didn't know any better, he would've sworn he heard the other man snoring a little.

Yes, Izaya was indeed very tired if he was sleeping like this. Even in unconsciousness, Shizuo noticed the other man had very proper posture and quiet breathing. Now he was like a monkey draped over a banana.

Shizuo sighed, and pushed Izaya's knee away from his face.

"Nooooo…" The sleeping informant whimpered, and snapped his limb back where it was, effectively kneeing his bed mate in the chin. Growling, Shizuo forced it away again, and removed himself from the large mattress. He strode to the other side, and lifted Izaya's body up, sitting him properly on the bed. He gazed over the sleeping face, smiling slightly to himself as he brushed stray hairs away from the informant's forehead. Izaya's lips twitched upwards. His dream must have improved.

Shizuo walked into the large living room, pulling his shirt on over his head. He located his cigarettes on the counter. Grinning impishly, he went to the window with the scenic view behind the computer desk, cracking it open a little. The blond lit his cancer stick, inhaling the calming tobacco.

He could see why Izaya loved this view so much. He felt like he could see half the city below him. He watched cars pass by, people hugging, running, chasing cabs. "People watching" as the informant would say. Maybe it wasn't as creepy as he previously thought, he decided as he killed the end of his cigarette.

Rising, he decided to go ahead and get breakfast. He didn't have to meet Tom until the afternoon, but the raven had his meeting with his boss today. Shizuo decided it would be best if he wasn't present at that particular meeting, knowing the other man felt the same way. Izaya was too dedicated to his work, and the blond didn't want to mess that up.

Shizuo strode to the fridge, opening it. He doubted there would be anything edible, as much of a health nut as Izaya was. To his surprise, there were numerous individual glass bottles of milk neatly placed at the bottom. There was a new carton of eggs on the second shelf. The rest was health food or "junk" as Shizuo dubbed it. He pulled one of the bottles out, opening it and drinking happily. He focused on the cabinets.

Upon the opening of the cabinets, the blond found more than he expected. There were various types of junk food scattered throughout their contents. Snack cakes, potato chips, instant type foods. Coffee eyes widened when they settled on a particular cereal box, featuring the leprechaun that the raven had jeered at in the past. Izaya had bought all of this stuff for _him._ He had been observing the brute, finding out what he liked. It was things like this that made Shizuo love him more.

Shizuo made himself some cereal, before going to the large couch to watch T.V. while he ate. Even if the raven didn't like television all that much, Shizuo saw no reason to waste such a nice, expensive, plasma. As a matter of fact…the brute was very…comfortable here now. He found he liked the large apartment much better than he thought he would. He had no problems sleeping here, no problems feeling at _home. _He frowned. _Home._ That wasn't a good word to describe Izaya's apartment… Hurriedly, he downed the rest of his cereal.

Shizuo entered the bedroom again, snickering at the informant who was halfway out of the bed once more. Picking the smaller man up, he crawled over the lithe body, claiming those lips for a moment.

"Are you going to sleep forever, louse?" he asked gruffly.

"Mmmnnnnnghhh…" was the reply he received.

"What time are you meeting your boss?" Shizuo laughed.

"Not till…twelve..." Izaya grumbled, trying to clamp his hand over the blond's mouth.

"That's not very nice, Izaya. I'm your alarm clock today," Shizuo grinned.

"Then I'm hitting snooze," Izaya huffed.

"I saw the stuff you bought for me. Thanks," Shizuo said awkwardly, drawing a circle in the duvet with his finger.

"I had to get monster food. Can't have you keeling over from starvation while you're here," Izaya said wryly.

"Thanks…" Shizuo said again, meeting the other man's gaze. The informant flushed.

"Stop thanking me! It's…weird," he mumbled, trying to look away. Shizuo grabbed both sides of his face, forcing him to continue locking their eyes.

"It means a lot to me though. So thanks."

"…You're welcome…"

The brute swooped down, connecting their lips. He kissed the other man hungrily, still keeping his hands on his face.

The game they played the previous night had painted the blond into a corner. He was well aware of that. He also knew Izaya had planned it that way. The unexpected question of love had fogged his brain, causing him to panic. Of course he loved Izaya. Of course Izaya knew it. He was played. Still…he wasn't angry. The informant had asked because he wanted to know. That was progress…right?

"Shizu-chan…are you staying here when I go to my meeting?" Izaya asked when they parted for breath.

"Nah. I'll go home for a bit before I have to meet Tom. You can focus on the meeting without having to worry about me breaking your apartment," Shizuo laughed.

"You could stay…if you wanted. I should be back before you have to leave," Izaya said cautiously.

"Are you asking me to stay?"

"If you want to."

"But do you want me to?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"But I want you to actually say it for once," Shizuo said, his voice edging on needy. Garnet eyes observed his face.

"I want you to" Izaya huffed, giving in.

"Then I will." Shizuo celebrated a little win. The informant glanced over at his cell phone on the table before he reached for it.

"Ah. I guess I need to leave soon," Izaya mused.

"Where are you meeting him?" Shizuo inquired.

"In one of his offices a little ways from here. At least I think so. He has to tell me exactly where in a few minutes."

"Wait…how are you supposed to meet him if you don't know where you're meeting him?" Shizuo asked, confused.

"It's always around the same area. He just doesn't tell me in case I decide to be a rat and get him arrested or something. This way, I don't have time to plan," Izaya explained, absently combing blond hair back with his fingers.

"He doesn't trust you?"

"Shiki doesn't trust anyone," Izaya shrugged, rising from the mattress. Shizuo watched him go to the closet and pick out clothes before he pulled them on. Izaya grabbed his phone from the table again before he turned to leave.

"See you when I get back?" he asked.

"I'll be here," Shizuo responded, feeling joy at the other's pleased expression.

* * *

><p>Izaya walked into the large office that was guarded by two large men on either side of the door. Shiki sat on the couch, a cigarette in hand. His chain was reflecting the embers from the cancer stick, his eyes watching the raven enter the room and sit across from him in the armchair.<p>

"Izaya," he greeted.

"You wanted to see me?" Izaya smirked.

"I wanted to see you two weeks ago. Why weren't you at the last meeting?" Shiki demanded.

"I overslept. I've been ill lately." Izaya tried to play it off. The older man eyed him.

"You do look pretty sick. Did you locate the man who was trying to frame us for his embezzlement?"

"Finished last night. I'll send you the coordinates when I get home," Izaya answered.

"Very good. How long have you been sick?" Shiki asked suddenly.

"…About three weeks." It was kind of true. He had been feeling drained and sickly for about that long. As long as he had been helping the brute, anyway. Still, he found it harder to lie to his boss than he did to lie to other people. Maybe because Shiki was so good at reading people?

"Hmmm…" Shiki blew out a large puff of smoke. "Maybe you working so much is hindering your recovery."

"No. I'm just getting over an awful cold. I'll be over it soon enough," Izaya dismissed.

"You'll get over it sooner if I give you time off," Shiki stated.

"You can't do that! I don't need it!"

"I've decided on it already. You need to take care of yourself. I cant have you doing sloppy work and getting us in trouble."

Carmine eyes narrowed. "I never do sloppy work," Izaya hissed, aware his tone was out of line.

"Not yet. Use this vacation-"

"It's not a vacation! You're forcing me to get behind for an unseen amount of time with no assignments!"

"Then we'll consider it your assigned off days. I'll let you know when I have another assignment for you," Shiki finished, motioning for the men to show Izaya out.

"I know the way," he scowled, turning on his heel in fury. He had never been so humiliated in his entire life.

* * *

><p>Shizuo sat on the large bed, looking around the room. He thought of all the things he <em>could <em>do. Izaya snooped around his living space more often than not. Why shouldn't he be nosy too? Besides, he was immensely curious to know more information on the broker.

He rose, kneeling to the floor to look under the bed. There was the suitcase the raven often used when carrying files and his alter ego outfits. Unable to resist, Shizuo opened it, coming face to face with four notebooks. He recognized these as the notes Izaya took during their sessions. He was _insanely _curious now. Taking the pink one he knew must be Psyche's, he began skimming the short notes.

The hyper-active version of Izaya had written very little. In fact, there was hardly anything written at all. He had paraphrased what Tsugaru had said during their first session, and there were no notes on the second session. At least, that's what the blond _thought _anyway. It was increasingly difficult to read the frazzled handwriting. Psyche obviously didn't take the care in his notes that Izaya did. Shizuo tossed it to the side, and picked up the golden notepad.

Hibiya also hadn't written much. His notes were easier to read, but vague. He seemed to have written every word Delic had said down, to a certain extent. He skipped the vulgar comments and only wrote what he deemed worthy of his time, adding hateful remarks about the imp here and there. Shizuo turned his attention to the black notepad.

Hachimenroppi had written almost nothing. His notes were scarce, scattered about the page. His script was easy to read, but wasn't in complete sentences. It was like he was bulleting things. He added few remarks about Tsuki, but did make the comment that the blond could stand up for himself more.

The last notepad was by far the most full. Izaya's handwriting verged on calligraphy the way it flowed across the pages. Shizuo felt like he was reading a novel, and not just notes on himself. He found himself reading the exact remarks he had used during their sessions, word for word. The raven had taken great care to recite him accurately. The session featuring the conversation about the shop lady was missing, like Izaya had promised. He had kept his word after all. Like his alternates, Izaya had added remarks here and there. Notes to remind himself of methods to use, exercises to try. He would underline things Shizuo had said that he found helpful.

The last page of the notes so far took a moment to read. It was about how Shizuo seemed to be absorbing his alternates back in. Izaya had used such big words that Shizuo found it hard to keep up with them. The footnotes the informant wrote this time though…made Shizuo's stomach flip. He ran his hand over the handwriting, as if he was trying to make sure he had read them correctly. When they were still there, he found himself smiling stupidly, feeling much happier than he had in awhile. There was suddenly a slamming noise from the other room. Hurriedly, Shizuo stuffed the notes back in the briefcase, and shoved them under the bed. He stepped into the living room just in time to see Izaya throw his jacket angrily on the couch.

"Damn it! Curse him to Hell!" Izaya hissed, tossing his shoes down as well. The brute watched him warily.

"What happened?" Shizuo asked, concerned. It had to take a lot to make Izaya act like this.

"What happened? _What happened? _He forced me to take time off! Do you know what that translates to? He thinks I'm sloppy in my work! I do a fucking excellent job and he says it's half-assed! That ungrateful behemoth!" Izaya's voice was verging on frantic as he kicked the couch cushions with his now bare feet. Shizuo had never seen this side of the smaller man before, but he knew he didn't like it at all.

"Relax, alright? Maybe he meant that you looked like you could use some rest…" he tried.

"You don't start too! You have no idea what a disgrace this is to have my work questioned! How _embarrassing _it was to leave there like a kicked puppy! I could've died from the sheer cruelty of Shiki's stare! He knows what pride I take in my job!" It was true, Izaya was very proud of his title.

"Isn't he just one of your clients? You can still work for other people…" Shizuo started again.

"You just don't get it, do you? I'm utterly humiliated right now Shizu-chan…" Izaya fell onto the couch, his head in his hands hiding his expression. He couldn't talk to the blond about what he was feeling. How could he expect the other man to understand? Shiki had taken all the informant had left. His job was one of the only things keeping him busy, taking his mind off of his disorder. Now…he would lose it…he knew it. There was weight beside him on the cushion.

"Izaya…" Shizuo said gently, trying to soothe the other man. He genuinely wanted to help, even if he didn't get why it was a big deal. Hell, he didn't get why most things the informant did were a big deal. Still…

"What…am I supposed to do…Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked miserably, his face still concealed. The blond pulled him in, resting his head on top of the raven's.

"We'll figure it out…" he said quietly, listening as Izaya's breathing went from ragged to controlled as he calmed himself down. They sat in silence for a while, Shizuo absently stroking along Izaya's spine.

"…I'm glad…you stayed…" Izaya said suddenly, breaking the peaceful atmosphere they had enveloped themselves in. The brute blinked in surprise.

"Me too," he said finally, continuing his ministrations. Izaya's honest confession reminded him of the footnotes of the notepad that had made him feel on top of the world only minutes ago.

_At this rate, my monster will be whole again in no time. _

_My _monster…

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Ok, so I'm better now. I beat my sense back into my brain with my keyboard. So, everything is cool~!<em>

_Izaya: *completely straight face* Sachi, I don't understand a thing you just said. Or, your thoughts for that matter. This whole story is a mind fuck._

_Sachi: *hits self with more inanimate objects*_

_Shizuo: What the hell? Izaya!_

_Izaya: Hehehehehe!_

_Shizuo: Anyway, leave a review and you'll learn the meaning of life!_

_Izaya: Shizu-chan, you don't even know how many toes you have, how do you know the meaning of life?_

_Shizuo: Stop trolling me!_

_(Izzy be trollin'. Review pleeeeaaaaassssseeeeee~!)_


	29. Vacation

_Eh, to answer Slayers64's question, I'm not sure how much longer this story will be. We're over halfway done, but we have a long way to go. Hopefully I'll keep all of your undivided attention until then, hahaha! I had my math final yesterday. I swear, if I could go back in time and stop the stupid algebraic process from ever existing, I would. Math makes me wanna rip off my face and salsa dance around it. Anywho, on with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Vacation<strong>

"I'm so booooorrrreeeeddd!" Izaya hissed from the kitchen. He was all alone today. Namie was told not to return until further notice, and Shizuo was at work. _Work. _That's what he should be doing. Instead he was walking aimlessly around his apartment looking for something to do.

Usually, it wasn't hard. He could troll someone, track someone, observe his humans…but none of that seemed to appeal to him at the moment. He simply felt lost, out of place. In his own damn home, too. Absently, he glanced at his chess board.

Today, almost all of the pawns were removed. Izaya had rearranged the entire board, moving the two kings to stand beside each other. It seemed more fitting now, after all. They were always together now. The raven found that he had grown so used to the company, it was harder to be alone. That…was a scary thought.

Of course he knew of the brute's feelings. He was glad Shizuo had passed the question though. Hearing him actually say it may be unbearable. Izaya wanted to be loved by humanity as a whole, not by a single being. If Shizuo said those words to him, he didn't know how he'd respond. If he didn't say them back, would Shizuo leave him? If Shizuo left…there would be nothing to keep him sane.

Yes, Izaya was well aware that he was losing it. Even more so now that he was forced to take time off of work. All the alone time made him slip more into his state of delusion. More often than not, whenever the blond would leave for work, Izaya would spend the entire day talking to himself. Slipping further and further away from reality. It wasn't even frightening anymore. What reason did he have to hold onto sanity anyway? Shiki had taken the most important thing from him now. His reputation was spoiled throughout the city…

He was no longer perfect.

Perfection was the single cornerstone of his entire life. He didn't have it anymore. He had nothing now. Even Shizuo couldn't help him with that fact. Not that they had even discussed it, but what could the blond say? Nothing could change what was. Izaya found he didn't have the strength to fight the realization anymore. Despite all he had ever stood for, he found himself slipping into depression. It had only been three days since his meeting with Shiki, but already he found himself more and more out of touch with the world.

"_Iza-chan… I think you should go out for a bit. It can't be good for you to be holed up in your apartment all day…" _Psyche's voice said gently. All of his alternates seemed to be worried for him these days. Hell, everyone seemed to be worried for him.

"I don't want to. They'll see me looking like this," he muttered.

"_Izaya. It doesn't matter what they think! You need to interact with real people!" _Roppi urged.

"I don't want to," Izaya said again, his eyes glazing over as he leaned against the counter.

It got worse every day. Whenever Shizuo would leave it got worse. But what could he do? Make Shizuo quit his job? Follow the blond everywhere? At some point, he would have to be separated from his sanity. The days and the nights spent without him seemed to grow longer with each passing second. There was a pressure in his head.

"_Orihara…please go talk to someone… We can feel you losing touch with reality…" _Hibiya's voice edged on gentle for once.

"What reason do I have?"

"_Shizu-Shizu loves you…" _Psyche whimpered. Izaya laughed.

"All the more reason to not seek help, dear Psyche. Without me he can focus more on himself."

"_Izaya…" _Roppi sounded like he was pleading now.

"Would you all just shut up? I'm not leaving this fucking apartment."

There was a peaceful silence for the moment. Izaya dully noted that he had slipped to the floor. He was uncertain how he got there, but chose not to dwell on it. He pressed his cheek against the hard floor, gazing across the wooden surface. He let go of his grip on the moment, and let his mind wander. He vaguely heard his door open and close in the distance. Then, felt hands lifting him up.

"Izaya! Are you okay?" The voice of Shinra said from somewhere.

"…Nmmm," he replied to the fuzzy voice. His vision cleared, and he managed to make out the forms of Shinra and Celty, both hovering over him.

_[Why were you in the floor?] _The PDA shoved in his face read.

"I don't know… Why are you here?" Izaya asked, studying them.

"Shizuo called and told us you may want company…" The spectacled man said, holding his hand out to help pull the informant off the floor.

"Ah. Dear Shizu-chan. Always worried for others…" Izaya mused, taking the hand.

_[Are you sure you're okay?]_

"Yes. I'm perfectly fine," Izaya smiled at the Dullahan. Shinra observed him cautiously.

Izaya's clothes hung off his frame. His hair was disheveled, his skin paler than normal. But most alarming were his eyes. They looked at Shinra, but didn't seem to actually see him. The carmine orbs were glazed over, half in reality and half not. The doctor had seen that look before. He had seen psychotics use the same distant stare. Shinra turned to Celty.

"Celty, could you be so kind as to make Izaya some lunch? I doubt he'll eat if we leave him be," he smiled at his lover. She nodded.

"You guys seriously don't know when you're not wanted, do you?" Izaya asked scathingly. He was met with a grin from the doctor.

"Shizuo seemed genuinely concerned for you this morning. I can see why now. Either you eat what Celty makes, or I'll make you eat it."

"Mmm, trying to force things in my mouth now, Shinra? Sorry, I never knew you were so kinky," Izaya purred. The doctor rolled his eyes at him.

"It's only been a few days since your check-up, but you look worse than I remember," Shinra observed, taking the raven's arm and rolling the sleeve up to examine the slashes. They were scabbed over in some places, but still feebly bleeding in others.

"They're still cut open!" Shinra hissed.

"They're itchy. I can't help it." Izaya shrugged.

"Come here," Shinra sighed, pulling the raven toward his medical bag. He pulled out some ointment and some fresh bandages and began to treat the wounds.

"Shinra…why do you go so far for me?" Izaya asked suddenly.

"I'm a doctor. I do what I can for all my patients," he replied as he continued to work.

"…Thank you…"

Shinra blinked in surprise, and looked at the informant, unsure if he had heard right. Since when did Izaya thank anyone?

"You're welcome…" he muttered in response.

Celty was setting the table, announcing in her silent way that lunch was ready. Shinra led the raven to the table, helping him to a chair. He didn't know why, but Izaya seemed to be so…feeble.

"I can walk, you know," Izaya said dryly, picking up his chopsticks.

"I know that," the doctor responded, picking up his own utensils and eating what his lover had made for him. He observed as the smaller man picked at his food without actually trying to eat it.

"Izaya," Shinra warned.

"I'm just trying to see if it's actually edible. I've never seen someone cook with shadows before," he grinned cheekily up at Celty.

_[Shinra says he likes my cooking…]_

"I do! You cook the best!" Shinra said to his fiancée earnestly, shoving more food into his mouth as if to prove it. Izaya continued to pick at his plate. Celty finally had enough. She wrapped the man in her shadows and held his head still while the doctor forced some food into his mouth. Izaya glared at them, struggling against the bonds. Eventually, he settled down and chewed, but his glare remained.

"I'll do it myself…" he hissed quietly. Celty released him.

"Obviously not, or you wouldn't be losing so much weight," Shinra stated calmly.

"Stop treating me like a child! I'm a grown man, I don't need to be babysat! And you can tell the protozoan that, too!" Izaya yelled, slamming his hands on the table.

_[Shizuo didn't send us here to baby-sit. He sent us to make sure you were alright, and you're not. Stop acting like a child and you won't be treated like one.]_

Izaya narrowed his eyes at her dangerously. Shinra had seen that look too many times before in Izaya's eyes. The informant was livid.

"Easy, Izaya. Just eat, please…" the doctor said gently, pointing to the barely touched plate. The raven stubbornly picked up the sticks and took little amounts at a time. Still, it was progress, Shinra decided.

After Izaya had eaten what little he did, Shinra and Celty stood to leave. Once he reached the door, the doctor turned around.

"Will we see you at our party in a few days?" he asked.

"If you don't force feed me," Izaya snarled, still angry.

"Take care of yourself until then…okay?" Shinra pleaded.

"Goodbye," Izaya waved them out, not looking up. He heard the door click. Izaya stood from his chair and placed the dishes in the sink. He trudged to his couch and sat upside down on it, his legs over the top and his head nearing the floor. He swung his legs around in the air, trying to entertain himself. He was still bored to death.

* * *

><p>Standing outside the bar once more, Shizuo answered his phone when it began ringing.<p>

"Yeah?" he asked gruffly.

"_Shizuo, we just left Izaya's. Wow," _Shinra's voice said through the speaker.

"Was he okay?" Shizuo asked worriedly.

"_If okay's the word for it. He was so out of it. I don't think he even recognized us for a few minutes."_

The blond blew out some smoke, his stomach clenching tightly at the words.

"_We force fed him though," _Shinra continued brightly. Shizuo choked on his smoke with laughter.

"Did you really? Oh, he won't be happy about that," he laughed, picturing the informant's angry stare.

"_Yeah. He wouldn't eat it willingly. I really don't understand what's going on with him. He looks like a psych ward patient. He stared at me like he was looking through me. I've seen that stare before."_

"You have?" Shizuo asked warily, hoping Shinra wasn't piecing the puzzle together.

"_Yeah. It's the stare of a madman." _

Shizuo hung up shortly after, not wanting to hear anymore. He was worried enough for the other man without having to hear all of the other stuff Shinra was spouting. He didn't understand why _he_ was doing so much better and _Izaya_ was losing it. He hadn't heard the voices in his head for days now. It was actually…soothing to have his thoughts to himself for once.

He glanced up as Tom exited the bar, completely sober this time.

"Eh, he paid willingly. Good thing I guess, since you look pissed off enough without fighting him," Tom said as he observed his bodyguard.

"I…need to go really soon. Is that okay?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, sure. We're done for now anyway," Tom replied, dismissing him.

* * *

><p>Shizuo went inside the apartment, looking for the informant. Izaya was on the couch, sprawled out wildly again. Shizuo strode over to him, leaning down to help him up. He stopped when he saw Izaya's face.<p>

The raven was staring into space, seeing nothing. He looked like a mannequin; it looked like he wasn't even blinking. Alarmed, Shizuo forced him onto the cushions, pressing his body against Izaya's. Carmine eyes lit up again.

"Shizu-chan? When did you get back?" Izaya asked, wrapping his arms around the brute's neck, nuzzling him.

"Just now… I was worried…" Shizuo admitted. Why not be honest now? What did he have to lose?

"Mmm. I'm glad you're home," Izaya said absently. Mocha eyes widened. The informant just implied that this was Shizuo's home, too. Did he even realize what he said? Probably not… Nonetheless, Shizuo's heart sped up.

"Heh, your heart rate increased. Do you like holding me so much?" Izaya laughed.

Shizuo felt himself blushing at the blatant question.

"I do," he responded. The raven's red eyes stared up at him wearily.

"Shizu-chan's so cute," he purred, stroking the other man's face with his fingertips. Shizuo brought their faces together, their lips moving in silent rhythm.

At least when they were kissing, Izaya seemed to be himself. Maybe he just needed to keep busy or something. But Shizuo knew deep down that the edge Roppi had informed him of was nearing closer. He didn't know when Izaya would fall, but he knew it was coming. And he knew Izaya would fall hard.

He just had to catch him when he did.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Aww~! Izzy's losing it guys! The story should start moving faster now. Like I said, we're over halfway done. I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be, since I'm making all of this up as I go. But, we still have some ways to go!<em>

_Tsugaru: Since I haven't been in the postscript yet, it's up to me to make sure you all review._

_Sachi: What do reviewers get?_

_Tsugaru:…I haven't gotten that far yet…_

_Psyche: Reviewers get a bucket of fried chicken and brand new underwear!_

_Sachi:…Psyche…No ma'am. _


	30. End Session: Part I

_I wasn't going to update until Friday on this story but…Holy Chicken Tenders! I got so much positive feedback from that entirely negative chapter! I was out with friends and my phone went off every 5 minutes alerting me of favorites, reviews, and subscriptions! I was added to favorite authors? Now that is an honor! So, this early update is my thanks to all of you! On with MAH STORAHHHH!_

* * *

><p><strong>End Session Pt. I<strong>

This was one of those times that Shizuo cursed his feelings for the other man. He had spent his whole life just wishing he could find someone capable for him to feel something akin to love for. Now he had it. He finally _had_ it. But he was far from happy.

If this had been only a month ago, _only a month, _he'd be happy to see Izaya in such a state of turmoil. He would laugh at the distant stare that was sometimes sent his way, guffaw at the way Izaya would stumble when he walked, chuckle at the constant murmuring that streamed from his mouth. Now though…every eccentricity pained his own heart. He watched in silence as his lover went insane.

What was he supposed to do? If Shinra locked Izaya up, what if he never let him out? What if Izaya truly was past the point of no return now? Even worse, what if he got well and cursed the blond to Hell for having him locked up to begin with? It was a lose, lose situation now matter how he looked at it. At least this way, he could be with the other for a little while longer.

Yes, it was entirely selfish. Shizuo knew he had always been selfish. He wanted to keep his brother out of harm's way. He wanted to drink all of his milk alone, not sharing with anyone. He wanted to smoke in public, not caring who breathed in his hazardous fumes. He wanted Izaya to stay with him always, sane or not. All of it seemed pretty straightforward.

Shizuo hadn't counted on the pain this decision would bring him. He never thought for an instant seeing someone go insane would be so hard to watch. Like a train wreck he couldn't look away from. Sometimes, Izaya would be himself. Those times were good and spent without argument. Other times, the blond had no idea who he was sharing a space with.

This was one of the times where Izaya was himself. He sat on the couch, going through an encyclopedia. Shizuo didn't ask what he was looking up. He only sat beside the smaller man, drinking in every minute they could spend together. His head rested on Izaya's shoulder and his arms were wrapped around the other's waist. He breathed in the scent.

How could he have ever hated this scent? Oh well…he hated the entire person not too long ago. Why did it seem so long ago now? Why did the thought of hating him seem like it could never cross his mind now? Love truly was a hell of an emotion. Shizuo wasn't sure if he liked feeling it or not, if it all did was hurt.

Love hurts. Haha.

"Shizu-chan. Are you entirely alright? I feel like you're pretending to be a boa constrictor or something the way you're wrapped around me," Izaya laughed, closing his book.

"I like it like this. I like being close," Shizuo said simply, pulling the other even closer.

"Just like a trained little beast," Izaya sighed, relaxing into the death grip. "You see me everyday. You practically live here now!"

Yes, he did see him everyday. His body at least. Seeing Izaya himself was scarce though these days. Having conversations was a blessing at best. It had been two days since Shinra and Celty forced him to eat. He hadn't seen the raven eat anything since.

"I hardly ever get to see you… So just accept it, flea," Shizuo growled, the venom absent from his tone. It sounded more like pleading.

"Mmm, Shizu-chan. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were saying goodbye to me," Izaya mused, nuzzling into the larger man.

Shizuo tensed up noticeably. He _was_ saying goodbye… Who knew when Izaya would snap entirely? Who knew when that ever distant edge would creep nearer? What else could he do besides try not to let the other man go? So many fucking questions! Shizuo truly despised planning things out, but this time…he just wished he had a plan.

"Don't be stupid. Where would I go?" Shizuo tried to sound normal. But he was talking to Izaya…so of course the raven would notice his tone. Izaya shifted, turning in the brute's lap to straddle him and make their eyes meet. Shizuo noticed that for once Izaya's eyes weren't clouded over. He was looking into bright carmine…purely Izaya.

"You're hiding something from me," Izaya said sternly. The blond tensed again, trying his best not to seem suspicious.

"I'm not. I just like holding you," Shizuo said nonchalantly.

"Shizu-chan…tell me what's bothering you."

_You. Seeing you like this. Losing you._

"I-I haven't heard my personalities in almost a week. I'm worried," Shizuo covered. Izaya's eyes went wide at the statement, and his features moved from suspicious to comforting.

"We could try having a session. Would that make you feel better?"

_Stop trying to help me! You need help…_

Why couldn't he voice his thoughts? SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING!

"I don't know if I can… What if I can't call them forth at all? I haven't heard them in days…"

Izaya smirked down at him and brushed his bangs out of his face.

"Tsugaru just needs _inspiration~,_" he said seductively.

He rose from his spot on the brute's lap to disappear into his room for a minute. Shizuo had a feeling he knew what was going on. If it freed him from the questions he would gladly take this escape route. The bedroom door opened.

"Shizu-Shizu!" Psyche bounded happily to the couch and resumed the position Izaya had just left. Shizuo stared into magenta eyes dumbfounded. He had never actually met Psyche before.

"Hey…Psyche…" he huffed, irritated that this version of Izaya was so different.

"Haha, where's Tsu-chan?" the raven asked suddenly, looking into Shizuo's coffee eyes. He wanted to see blue!

Shizuo knew that Izaya's alternates didn't know what was happening. The blond was absorbing his personalities back in. Soon, there wouldn't be a Tsugaru, Delic, or Tsuki. There would only be Shizuo, the monster. Izaya kept telling him this was a good thing, but refused to let his alternates know yet. He explained that if Psyche knew, he would stop trying to help and focus more on telling Tsugaru to forcefully take over more.

"Psyche has a dark side," Izaya had said.

Not to mention Psyche and Hibiya would take over him forcefully, too. The raven, being as weak as he currently was, wouldn't be able to fight them off.

"I'll try to get him for you," Shizuo said to the raven. Pink eyes narrowed.

"Try? Is it hard? All Iza-chan does is ask me, and I'll do anything! Tsu-chan doesn't do that for you?"

_Fuck._

"I need to focus, Psyche."

There was silence as he tried to communicate with Tsugaru. A process that was once as easy as breathing suddenly turned into a chore.

"_Tsugaru? Psyche wants to talk to you," _he thought.

Silence.

"_Tsugaru! I know you're still there!"_

Nothing…then…

"_Shizuo…I'm tired," _The weak voice of Tsugaru said quietly.

"_Just try. Please…"_

Shizuo noticed the wave of calmness that swept through his body. Tsugaru was taking over…

"Psyche…" Tsugaru smiled wearily, stroking the man's face.

"Tsu-chan! Why do you look so…exhausted?" Psyche asked worriedly. It looked like the blond hadn't slept in days. His voice was raspy.

"I'm having trouble sleeping lately… Delic talks nonstop," Tsugaru lied smoothly, still stroking the man's face. He wanted to feel Psyche for as long as he could.

"Hibi-chan talks a lot too… But I sleep just fine…" Psyche muttered stubbornly, leaning into the hold. He didn't feel right… _Something_ didn't feel right.

"Maybe I'm not as talented as you…" Tsugaru whispered. It was hard to get his voice to work right. Hell, it was hard to take over. He truly didn't know how long he would last. Suddenly, there was moisture against his hands.

"Psyche! Why are you crying?" he asked the weeping man in his lap. There were tears silently streaming down the raven's face.

"I don't like this… Something's wrong! Something's wrong!" Psyche wailed, wrapping his arms around the blond's neck and forcing him against the cushions as he wept.

"Everything's fine…stop crying…please…" Tsugaru felt his heart break. Psyche didn't know what was going on, but he still felt pain due to the blond's state.

"Don't lie to me… Everything's not fine…I feel it…" Psyche whimpered, burying his face deep into Tsugaru's chest. His cries turned to sobs, his whole body shaking violently.

"Psyche…please…" Tsugaru felt tears on his own cheek now. He didn't know what to do. What could he say? He couldn't tell the raven what was happening…it was too painful.

Tsugaru truly wanted to be absorbed back into the brute. Shizuo needed his calm nature back, just as he needed his confidence and his gentleness. Shizuo could become a whole person again. It was a great opportunity!

Strange though…that for Shizuo to take steps forward, it seemed Izaya would take steps back. He pushed the blond to get better, but did nothing to better himself. Shizuo never would've began to become whole again if not for the man he hated getting involved. For that, Tsugaru was eternally grateful to the raven. Izaya had done so much for them. He had split himself up for Shizuo. He was going mad. Still, he pushed the blond to get better. He let Psyche come to say goodbye…

_Goodbye. _

Tsugaru never thought he'd get to say that word. Who did he ever have to say it to? Shizuo always begged him to take control before Izaya started helping. Even though Tsugaru wasn't meant to exist, he felt needed. He felt like he would always be separate. He never got to actually bond with anyone.

Now…he could say it. He could see how it felt to say goodbye to someone he loved. He knew full well he wouldn't be seeing Psyche again. He had a feeling that Psyche felt that, too. But now that he _could_ say it…he found he didn't want to. He couldn't. For the first time, Tsugaru wanted to be selfish. He wanted to keep existing. _He wanted to make Shizuo crazy again!_

No…no.

He didn't want that. How could he? He was just sad, truly. He felt awful for even having those thoughts. He…just wanted to make things easier for Psyche… He loved the raven…he wanted to stay with him…

But life is cruel to those who were never meant to exist.

"It's alright, Psyche. Everything's fine. I'll be with you always," Tsugaru said gently.

"Stop… Stop! I feel like you're telling me you'll never see me again! It's not helping, it's not!" Psyche wailed, sobbing harder.

Tsugaru gently ran his hands down the raven's spine, trying to silently comfort him.

"I'll never say goodbye. I hate the word. I used to admire it…but…"

Psyche raised his head a little. His watery magenta eyes were filled with pain as he looked at his blond.

"I'll just tell you that I'll be with you always. Like I promised."

"So…you _are_ going away? For how long?" Psyche whimpered.

"A while."

"Will I see you again?"

"Of course." Tsugaru caught more tears off the raven's face as he cried harder.

"I… I love you…" Psyche squeaked, trying to control himself. He didn't want the blond to leave. How long would he have to go without seeing him again? It was painful. But he wouldn't be the one to stop Tsugaru from doing what he wanted to do. If he wanted to leave for a little while…at least Psyche would see him when he returned.

"I love you too. Always," Tsugaru responded, pulling Psyche up so their lips could meet. Psyche continued to sob quietly, but he didn't dare pull away from the man kissing him. Who knew when they would kiss again?

The sounds of Psyche crying reverberated through the large apartment. Tsugaru held him close, fading back into unconsciousness as he listened to the sobs in the distance. He kissed Psyche's lips once more, before his head hit the cushion and he lost his grip on the waking world. Psyche clutched him blindly as he buried into Tsugaru's chest, crying harder.

It was the end of their last session.

Neither of them said goodbye.

* * *

><p><em>I make myself sad! Sorry if it seems a little…awful. I was trying to type while playing with my cat (Toki) for a little while. He gets crazy jealous when I start typing. I really don't get cats too much. Anyway, if you liked it, leave a review! The chapters will be pretty intense for awhile…so…sorry! D:<em>


	31. End Session: Part II

**End Sessions Pt. II**

Izaya awoke in the darkness, feeling immensely uncomfortable. Psyche was still crying in his head. It was almost painful to listen to. It was too bad he couldn't tune the man out anymore. He shifted, trying to get comfortable.

"You awake too, flea?" Shizuo's voice asked from beside him.

They were still on the couch. Psyche had turned off the lights and fell asleep on the unconscious blond. Izaya still had the death grip on him to prove it.

"Yes. It's hard to sleep after that," Izaya answered. Truly, the entire conversation had been heart-wrenching. He was glad he missed most of it. He only knew what happened because of the crying man in his head.

"Yeah…" Shizuo agreed. They laid in silence for a moment.

"Do you want me to carry you to bed?" Shizuo asked.

"Sounds kinky~."

"Wha- No! I meant to sleep in, louse!"

"Haha, I know what you meant, Shizu-chan. Yes, I'd like that. Sleeping on this couch will give me a crick in my neck," Izaya said.

Shizuo shifted, pushing Izaya off of him as he rose. He reached down and lifted the raven off the cushions, cradling him close bridal style. He carried the smaller man to the dark bedroom, settling both of them under the covers. Shizuo wrapped his arms around Izaya's waist, pulling him close against his chest.

"Shizu-chan is spooning," Izaya laughed.

"And you're letting me," Shizuo retorted.

"Of course. I like being held by you," Izaya mumbled absently.

Shizuo's heart sped up. It seemed that Izaya was just saying random truthful things now. Almost like his filter was broken or something. He never thought he'd hear the other man be so honest with him.

"Izaya… Do you like having me around?" he asked quietly. Izaya turned his head to the side to look up at him.

"I'd think you'd already know the answer to that," he replied.

"I hoped…it was a 'yes'," Shizuo muttered.

"I like having you around. Very much so. You wouldn't be here if I didn't," Izaya sighed.

"Will…you still like me…when my alternates are gone?"

"Shizu-chan, what kind of question is that?"

At the same time, he knew. What reason would he have to remain once Shizuo was well? The blond seemed to be scared of that, too.

"Is that the reason you're so afraid of losing them?" Izaya inquired.

"…One of the reasons."

Izaya laughed again, and put his arms around the ones that were holding his waist.

"Imbecile. Of course I'll still like you. Now go to sleep."

Shizuo fell asleep grinning like an idiot that night.

* * *

><p>Izaya spent the next day alone again. Shizuo was at work. Getting the blond out of his apartment had been a chore in itself, though.<p>

"_If you need anything, just call me. Tom will let me go early if you ask me to come back sooner. Shinra's near too, so just call him if you don't wanna call me. Dammit, stop giving me that fucking stare! I'm being serious!" _

Izaya laughed, remembering their conversation that morning. The alternates were being quiet today, too. Psyche hadn't said a word. Hibiya and Roppi seemed to be trying to cheer him up. Well, best as they could anyway.

"_Crying is horribly peasant-like! Buck up and cease this nonsense!" _Hibiya had said, causing the pink raven to cry again.

"_Um…there, there?" _Roppi had tried, seeming very awkward as he tried to pat the other's head. He was the first to give up, and focus more on Izaya.

"_So. What's on the agenda today? Slipping more into insanity, or calling someone for help for once?" _he asked.

"The first one," Izaya responded lazily. He was lying on the couch, flipping mindlessly through the channels.

"_Well. Seems pointless, but alright. What happened to Tsugaru?" _Roppi said quietly, careful not to let Psyche overhear.

"I think he broke up with Psyche. Best not mention it," Izaya lied smoothly. If he told, he was uncertain what would happen. Roppi would probably be understanding, but he doubted Hibiya would be.

"_That sucks," _Roppi said in an emotionless voice.

"Indeed."

There was silence. Well, almost silence. Hibiya's voice could still be heard trying to forcefully get Psyche to stop crying. His methods were ineffective. Roppi and Izaya sighed in unison.

* * *

><p>Shizuo was headed to his own apartment. He had just finished his shift with Tom, and needed to get fresh clothes. He really wanted to just ask the raven if he could move in…but that seemed like it wouldn't go down well. Instead, he trudged through Ikebukuro quickly, trying to hurry. It was already dark.<p>

He entered his dwelling. It seemed…cold…empty. He remembered he hadn't really been here for almost a week. It…didn't seem like home anymore. Sighing, he went to his closet.

"_Shizuo…" _Delic's voice said quietly.

"Delic?" He hadn't heard that voice in an entire week mow.

"_I…need to…speak with…Chibiya…" _

"You'll get to… I have to see Izaya and ask him about the next session…" Shizuo replied.

"_You don't understand… I don't have long…I need to speak…with him now."_

* * *

><p>Izaya was still sitting on his couch when he heard his door open somewhere in the background. He snapped back to reality, glad that Shizuo was back. But…it wasn't Shizuo.<p>

"Delic! I wasn't expecting to see you!" Izaya said, rising from the cushions to meet the other man. He stopped when he saw the state the imp was in. He looked like he had been hit by a bus. Or two buses. Delic eyed him with the same concerned stare.

"You look just as bad as me…" he said to the raven, wobbling on his feet slightly.

"Don't start. You're here to see Hibiya, I assume."

"How perceptive of you."

Delic swayed again, this time falling forward. Izaya caught him, but couldn't support him. They fell to the hard floor, Delic on top. He grinned down at the raven.

"Heh. Kinda like this position," he said.

"Get off, imbecile," Izaya huffed. He stared into bright magenta.

"You know… I really like you. Not in the way that I like Chibiya, but I do like you. You should really get help so you can get better. You look like shit."

"Oh that's all tonight? No flirting? No threatening to fuck me into the ground?" Izaya hissed in response.

"I'm not into fucking someone Shizuo's in love with. Plus, you love him. So it'd be weird for both of us," Delic shrugged, moving away from the smaller man.

"How noble of you," Izaya said as he sat up. The imp laughed loudly.

"What?" Izaya huffed.

"You didn't deny loving Shizuo," Delic grinned.

"Is there a reason for your stupidity tonight? Or are you just here to make fun of me?" Izaya said, venom filling his voice. "If you want to see Hibiya, you'd better change your tactic!"

"I need to see him…" Delic said quietly. Carmine eyes filled with sympathy.

"One moment," he replied, disappearing into his room. There was a clattering sound from behind the door.

"_Chibiya~." _Delic purred when his prince entered the room. Golden eyes widened when they saw him.

"Knight…what happened?" he asked, rushing to the blond's side.

"Just…you know. Knightly duties tire me out…" Delic chuckled. He raised his palm to caress the prince's face gently.

"You're lying. Knights don't lie to their princes."

Delic looked at him appreciatively. Never had he felt for anyone what he felt for this man. That's why he couldn't even think of touching Izaya. Shizuo felt the same for him. That was one thing that really sucked about this whole damn absorbing thing.

"Do you want to know something funny?" Delic asked the smaller man.

"I suppose."

"I finally figured out my life. It's bullshit. I figured it out when it doesn't even matter. Isn't that stupid?"

Hibiya eyed him, concern on his features.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I've spent so damn long wondering whether or not my life has any meaning. What am I anyway? Part of someone else's personality? That's fucked up! I should've been born a separate person! Then…I could've found you again…and everything would be alright…" Delic had tears in his eyes now. Hibiya was alarmed, but wasn't sure how to react.

"Delic…where is this coming from?" he wiped a tear away as it fell down the man's face.

"I'm going away, Chibiya. I'm fading out. This is our last night together. And I'm too tired to even fuck you. How utterly fucked up is that?" Delic smiled bitterly, falling unceremoniously to the floor. He stared up at the ceiling, the tears falling freely now.

"Delic… Why can't I go with you? Knights don't leave their princes…" Hibiya's voice broke a little. But princes didn't cry.

"I wish…you could go with me… But it's my job to follow you, right? Not the other way around. You're needed here. Maybe you can command Izaya to go talk to a fucking shrink or something…"

"I…don't want you to go…" Hibiya muttered, staring hard at the floor. His golden eyes were watery.

"Princes don't waste tears on peasants," Delic observed.

"I'm not crying!" Hibiya hissed, snapping his eyes back up to Delic's face. "Besides…you're a knight…"

"I really…wish for that alternate universe now… Everything could be different…" Delic sighed, wiping his eyes on his white coat sleeve.

"I wish for that as well… It seems…unfair…" Hibiya agreed. He took initiative, and fell down beside Delic on the floor. He rested his head against the other man's chest, listening to his heart.

"Do you think we even exist? Or is this a dream?" Delic asked him.

Hibiya put his hand over the imp's chest, feeling the steady "thump-thump" of the muscle.

"You exist. I exist. We're just in a relatively messed up situation. Unfortunately, I don't know…how to fix it," Hibiya admitted softly. The blond laughed bitterly.

"I would've been fine with fading out…if not for you…"

"I realize that," Hibiya said viciously, angry at the situation.

"Haha… If I was born separate…I'd look everywhere for you. We could get an apartment somewhere… Find a nice place in the city… Argue over dinner. Fuck nonstop until we couldn't walk…"

Hibiya listened in silence as the man's voice broke again.

"Maybe tie the knot… Can you imagine that? Grow old together…die together…"

The prince was holding back tears now. His hand found Delic's.

"Everything could be different…in that alternate universe… Except for one thing…"

Hibiya strained his ears to hear it.

"I'd still…fall in love…with an arrogant little prick like you…" Delic smirked to the ceiling.

Hibiya cried out now, burying his face in the white suit.

"I want that too! I want that too!" he sobbed, uncaring how 'un-prince like' he was being. None of that mattered now. Nothing mattered now. Pride slipped away as he whimpered, trying to get as close to the imp as possible.

"Could it be that Chibiya fell for someone like me? Even if I was never meant to exist, you can fall for me?" Delic looked down at the smaller man who was still crying into his chest. He ran his fingers through black hair.

"I…love you…" Hibiya managed as he wept. He heard the heart skip a beat in the chest he was lying against. Delic pulled him up, on top of himself, kissing him hungrily.

Somewhere, there was that alternate universe they both dreamed of. Somewhere, they could be happy and together. Somewhere…

They could meet again…

One day…

One…

.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: T-T These are hard for me too guys…<em>

_Roppi: I've been trusted with the task of cheering all of you up. _

_Sachi: Please do! I don't want readers to cry themselves to sleep!_

_Roppi: Um…there there? *pats head*_

_Sachi: You're horrible at this!_

_Roppi: I don't know how to comfort people! Let Tsuki do this!_

_Tsuki: *Hugs all readers*_

_Sachi: Thank you Tsuki! Review for Tsukioppi next chapter. Yes, it will be sad._

_Roppi and Tsuki: …We're officially afraid._


	32. End Session: Part III

_:D You guys are spoiling me with reviews again! I'm going to get cavities with how sweet they all are! Yes, I know these chapters are harsh…Sorry…This is the drama part of the Romance/Drama category…I'm not too fond of it, but I like to write it. It's a conspiracy anyway. So, on with the story! (Sorry in advance…)_

* * *

><p><strong>End Session Part III<strong>

Shizuo had that sinking feeling in his stomach again. The kind of feeling one gets before getting a tooth filled or riding a crazy roller coaster. Tsugaru and Delic were gone. No more could they talk to him and give him their advice. Tsuki was silent too, but Shizuo could still feel him. He knew his last alternate didn't have long.

Even though his others were gone…

Were they?

He could still feel them, but in a different way.

They were part of him now Something the blond never would've imagined! It was like puzzle pieces falling back into place. Like a missing work of art back in a museum. It felt…incredible. He would've enjoyed it more…if not for the fucking guilt he felt.

While he was on the fast track to becoming a functional beast again, Izaya was left to deal with the aftermath of the other personalities departure. The poor raven sat in the swivel chair arguing with himself for what seemed like hours that morning.

While Psyche had spent his whole mourning process crying, Hibiya seemed to be taking it out on everybody. Yes, everybody.

"_Psyche, shut the hell up! Roppi, would you please stop looking at me like you don't have a fucking brain? For God's sake, Orihara, get well so I can stop existing! I want to die!"_

"_I'll kill you, if you like.," _Roppi hissed. He understood that the male was going through a loss…but damn. Shut up for a minute!

"_Iza-chaaaaaaaan! I wanna die tooooooo!" _Psyche wailed, still sobbing.

"Everyone just shut up! Stop asking me questions about what's going on, I'm just as lost as you!" Izaya finally snapped, causing Shizuo to look up alarmed from his cereal.

"Flea?" he asked worriedly. There was no reply to him.

"Hibiya! Stop acting like a menstrual woman and deal with it in silence! Damn, you make me want to tear open my brain just so I can strangle you!"

"_I second that," _Roppi agreed.

"_You wouldn't be so blasé about this if it was you!" _Hibiya's voice broke.

"_Tsu-chan…" _Psyche whimpered.

"_No, I wouldn't. But I wouldn't take it out on you. I would now though, because you pissed me off," _Roppi said dryly.

"_Why don't you go find some razor blades?" _Hibiya countered.

"_Why don't you go get molested by Delic? Oooh, wait…" _Roppi feigned surprise.

"_Tsu-chan…" _Psyche whimpered.

"Shut up! What part of that do you ingrates not understand?" Izaya yelled over them all. Shizuo was watching him sadly as he flailed around in his chair.

"Izaya…"

"_It's all your fault we're in this mess Orihara! I was fine where I was, but you just had to drag me out and force me to meet him! Now nothing is the same! I can't go back to how I was!" _Hibiya screeched.

"_Stop blaming Izaya! He's just trying to help Shizuo! It's not his fault your Delic left you!" _Roppi yelled.

"_TSU-CHAN!" _Psyche wailed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Izaya snapped, throwing his stack of files off the desk so they landed in the floor loudly. He was standing now, looking like he might try to flip the entire desk over if he could. The blond decided now was the time to intervene.

"Izaya! Calm down! What's wrong with you?" he asked worriedly as he ran to the distraught man.

"Shizu-chan…Shizu-chan…Shizu-chan!" Izaya forced himself into the brute's arms, breathing heavily.

"What? What is it?"

The raven didn't answer. Instead, he buried his head in the other man's chest trying to regain his senses.

It was getting harder to do.

"No quiet… So loud… Can't think…" he said sporadically.

"Wha- They're louder now? Izaya…" Shizuo said gently, holding the other man close. This was going too far.

"I think we should call Shinra…" he told Izaya. There was no response. Izaya didn't seem to hear him.

The raven was glancing over at the corner of the room, eyes entirely cloudy and unfocused. He was mumbling quietly to himself, so quietly the blond couldn't make anything out. This was unbearable…

"Flea…please…" Shizuo pleaded.

Carmine eyes remained where they were. Izaya still didn't hear him.

There was no Tsugaru to talk sense. To tell him what he needed to do to help the smaller male. No Tsugaru to take over and gently soothe the raven into relaxation.

There was no Delic to help him massage Izaya. Help him use his body to calm the catatonic state Izaya seemed to be going into.

Tsuki was too weak to help.

There was only Shizuo. The monster. What could he do? _Nothing. _

Not a damn thing.

He held Izaya close, hoping he would snap out of it and return soon. He didn't know…how much longer he had until Izaya wouldn't be able to find his way back. He hoped to whatever high being there was that he had a little more time…

"Shizu-chan… You're crushing me…" Izaya muttered.

The brute could've cried with joy.

* * *

><p>The issue arose again that he needed clothes. Delic had taken over last night, and had went back to Izaya's place without packing. Poor Shizuo couldn't wear the same clothes three days in a row…(even though Izaya had promised no one would notice anyway.)<p>

He worked through his shift with hurried pace, often hitting people way harder than he meant to. Part of it was due to his brain being focused more on his lover. The other part of it was how pissed off he was that he was the cause of all this mess to begin with. Even if Izaya promised otherwise…He knew he was the reason the raven had driven himself insane. Shizuo would give anything to be able to help the other man…Anything except force him into an asylum. He didn't think either of them could bear that.

"Shizuo…are you alright?" Tom asked after the blond punched a guy into a brick wall just for talking on his phone too loud.

"Just fine," Shizuo huffed, lighting a cigarette and stomping on the guy's phone as he caught up with his boss.

"You see why I'm concerned…" The dreadlocked man pointed to the unconscious form of the poor man on the ground. Shizuo sighed.

"Just wondering…when everything got so damn complicated."

"Haha, and your outlet for that is to pound people out of existence?" Tom laughed.

Shizuo couldn't help but grin. He had always liked Tom. Except when he was drunk, that is. He never felt a shred of guilt for paying the cab drivers extra to treat the man like luggage when he was drunk. He followed behind his boss, eager to get back to Izaya. After the events of that morning…he was too worried to leave him alone for long.

* * *

><p>The raven sat at his desk, staring at a blank screen. Well, staring wasn't really the word. He looked at it directly, but couldn't tell if there were words on it or not. Izaya felt like he was looking <em>through<em> the damn thing.

He had been having trouble focusing lately. Whether it be on files he still poured over or simple tasks like cooking, he couldn't concentrate on them worth a damn. He felt like butter scraped over too much toast. He was trying to do so much, but was just one person… Well, he used to be one person.

Pretending was the main problem. He was well aware his filter seemed to be malfunctioning. He was saying such honest things to the brute these days, it was a wonder Shizuo didn't use it more to his advantage. He couldn't control his words, or his posture. He couldn't control his dreams. He couldn't control the voices. He couldn't control Shizuo (not that he ever really could.) He couldn't…

Control anything…

Izaya shuddered, snapping back from his stupor. He glanced around, unsure of where he was for a moment. He realized with a start that it was dark outside.

"Ah, where has the time gone? I wasted the entire day…"he muttered to himself. His personalities had calmed down, aside from the occasional hiccup from Psyche and the occasional sniffle from Hibiya. What worried him most was Roppi.

Roppi listened quietly to the other alternates around him. Psyche was curled into a ball, still crying. How the man could have so many tears in him, Roppi would never know. Hibiya was fiercely watching his feet. Every now and then his hand would come up to brush under his eyes.

Roppi sighed for the umpteenth time. None of this made any fucking sense!

Tsugaru left Psyche.

Delic left Hibiya.

Shizuo was doing better.

Crimson eyes opened wide with realization.

_Shizuo was doing better!_

That meant…

"_Izaya!" _he yelled into the darkness, causing the informant to stumble as he was walking.

"What?" Izaya snapped.

"_He's absorbing them! He's becoming a whole person again and you didn't tell me!" _

Izaya cursed under his breath, pleading that Psyche and Hibiya weren't listening. Thankfully, they weren't.

"Calm down! If you want to talk then make it private!" he hissed to himself.

He looked straight into the furious eyes of manifested Hachimenroppi.

"Tsuki! What about Tsuki?" he snarled, grabbing the informant's jacket roughly.

"He will be absorbed too," Izaya said calmly.

"No! NO NO!" Roppi shook him as he screamed. "Unacceptable! He's mine!"

"Roppi!" Izaya shouted just as loudly, causing the other to release him in surprise. "Shizu-chan is the main priority! What did you think would happen? That I would tell him to simply ignore the beings plaguing his mind? Of course not! We're curing him! So stop blaming me when you helped too!"

Roppi stepped back, shaking violently.

"_You helped too!" _Yes, he had helped.

"Roppi…" Izaya said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be alright."

"Tsuki…" Roppi whimpered, looking at Izaya pleadingly. "Please…let me talk to Tsuki…"

"I don't know if that will be wise," the informant said, looking at him sadly.

"Izaya… I'm not asking…" Roppi laughed bitterly.

* * *

><p>Shizuo was pulling clothes out of his closet when the door burst open, again interrupting him.<p>

"What the hell? Does no one want me to be clean?" he snarled as he looked at the door.

Hachimenroppi was standing in the doorway, trembling slightly.

"Hachimen-" Shizuo said, observing the other male.

"Tsuki…now…" Roppi said quietly, looking up through his bangs with pained eyes. "Please…"

Shizuo felt his heart ache at the painful words.

"Of course…" he said quietly, trying to concentrate.

Roppi held a breath as crimson eyes opened blearily, trying to focus on him.

"Roppi…" Tsuki smiled gently.

The raven picked up the glasses from the bedside table and placed them on the blond's face so he could focus.

"Tsuki… Why didn't you tell me?!" he shouted, angry beyond reason. Tsuki looked at him sadly.

"I didn't want to worry you…" he whimpered.

"Worry? _Worry? _What the fuck do you call this, you imbecile? How can you be so okay with this? How can you look at me like that when you're _leaving me?" _Roppi thrashed his arms about like a madman.

"It's alright… Calm down please…"

"Shut the fuck up! You're so annoying! No matter what I say or do you still look the exact same! Like I can't do anything bad enough! Like you understand! Like…"

_Like I'm your whole world…_

"Roppi… I'm not leaving you…" Tsuki said quietly, looking at the ground.

"Stop lying. Stop mumbling. Just stop talking… Idiot…" Roppi sighed, breathing heavily to try and calm himself down.

"I'm not lying! I just…feel it. I'm not leaving you. I couldn't bear it! So…stop worrying…I promised I'd go with you anywhere…and I will," Tsuki said loudly.

"Everyone leaves… Everyone…" The raven had tears streaming now. He didn't care anymore.

"Roppi! Please!" Tsuki hurried over to him, pulling him into a warm embrace.

"I'll never leave you! I love you!"

"Stop saying that! Stop it!" Roppi snarled, trying to get away. He clawed mercilessly at the blond's skin in his desperate escape.

_Stop getting my hopes up…_

"I love it when you tell me things bluntly. It lets me know you're not lying to me. I love it when you look at me like I'm an idiot, because your eyes sparkle when you do. I love sleeping next to you… I love touching you… I loved p-pleasing you…" Tsuki was saying gently as the raven clawed. "I love it when you try to tell me what to do, because it shows you care. I love the noises you make when I touch you. I love when you hurt me, because it feels so…so fucking _good_."

Roppi stopped trying to escape now. He just held onto the blond behemoth for dear life.

"I love when I tell you I love you and your face lights up. Your heart skips beats. Your cheeks turn red. I love you, Roppi. And I'll never stop saying it," Tsuki murmured.

The blond was fighting unconsciousness. He didn't have long. He only held on to…

See Roppi one last time…

"Tsuki… No matter what I do…you always say such kind things to me…I really cant get rid of you…" Roppi's voice broke as he spoke.

"Nope. We alternates of Shizuo are just as stubborn as he is," Tsuki laughed quietly, crying silently too.

"And…I really can't…follow you…to where you're going…" Roppi cried more.

"Yes you can. I really think so. Just focus on helping Izaya-san get well again. I promise, it'll be okay!" Tsuki held him closer.

"You're really…content with parting like this? You don't want anything from me?" Roppi's voice was hard to hear, but Tsuki managed. He laughed again.

"All I ever wanted was you, Roppi," he whispered. He pulled the raven down to the floor, finding it suddenly hard to stand.

He was so damn tired… He wanted to sleep. He knew everything would be different when he let go this time. But he wasn't afraid… He wasn't…afraid anymore…

"Stupid brute…" Roppi sobbed quietly, muffling his voice in the blond's neck as they fell to the floor together. Tsuki laughed, stroking his raven hair.

He was content, just with this…

"I love you, dammit!" Roppi snarled like it was an insult. Tsuki's eyes opened wide and looked down at him in surprise.

"R-Roppi?"

"I said I fucking love you! I love you, I love you, I love you! As many fucking times you said it to me, I'll say it to you! You stupid, protozoan imbecile!"

Tsuki had tears streaming by this point as he looked at Roppi.

"Stop staring at me! Moron!"

Tsuki pulled his face closer.

"Stupid!"

Their lips ghosted against each other. Roppi melded into the hold, forcefully clashing their lips together almost painfully. He was still angry, after all. Nothing he ever said could insult the imbecile.

"I love you too, Roppi," Tsuki sobbed.

"…Again…"

"I love you! I love you… I love you…" Tsuki murmured the mantra repeatedly. The raven drank in the words, saying them back every now and then.

"I love you," were the last words they heard from each other.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry again! I'll update my other chapter fic later haha. I only had time to write one today and in all fairness, this one did come first. Love always, Sachi. (Review for virtual love!)<em>


	33. Personal Demons

_Okay, I've been asked questions again. __Slayers64__, you and I are going to have to start a Q&A panel here soon, haha. (I like that you keep me in your best interests by trying to help) So, no I don't pre-write. I'm an impulse writer, everything I write is in the moment. Here lately, I've been having a helluva time trying to find internet access. See, I've been updating at school, but now I'm out so I have to post while I can. That's why I never had clear posting days. I write so much because it relieves stress for me, and here lately I've been ripping my hair out with stress. I'm moving, everything's changing. Add my own mental demons in with that and that's how it's been for the past few months. BUT! The silver lining is that my sister (who I'm moving in with) has internet, so I can start posting less frequently, but still regular enough to keep you all interested. As for your second question, I HAVE been adding lines…But I've been doing it in Microsoft, and not the actual website, so I guess it's not posting. (I was unaware of the issue) So, I'm going to try and use the website this time, and if that doesn't help I'll think of something. Thanks for your help~! Hope I answered good enough! _

_Izaya: Seriously…shut up…no one cares!_

_Shizuo: On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Personal Demons<strong>

Alone at last… There were no more voices in his head. It was purely Shizuo. Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo. He tried to figure out whether or not he felt very different. He still felt like himself, there was no change there. But was he calmer? He probably would be if not for the stress Izaya was causing him. Was he more confident? There would have to be a situation that required it for him to know. Was he more gentle? Well, that one seemed likely. He was lying on the floor beside the sleeping informant, looking at the man with the same expression Tsuki wore when he looked at Roppi. Izaya was sleeping peacefully, at least for now. He had been murmuring to himself earlier, but he was silent now. Shizuo never looked away from his sleeping face. He would grin whenever Izaya's face would change expressions.

Only a month and he was already in love with the damn flea. Suddenly, Erika's crazy fan girl fantasies were coming true. Hopefully she never found out. Would she be at Shinra and Celty's party? Oh dear lord… The blond really hoped not. He could hear her now: "_Shizu-chaaaaan~! Give Izaya a big sloppy kiss for me!"_

He shuddered involuntarily.

"Cold, Shizu-chan?" The raven's voice asked wearily from below him.

"No… Just freaked out. How long you been awake for?"

"Just woke up… Nghhh, my head is killing me…" Izaya removed himself from the brute's hold and sat up straight. "How do you feel?"

Shizuo was silent for a moment. How did he feel? It was a simple question with no simple answer. He had been awake for over an hour trying to figure that out for himself! He did feel complete again. He felt safer… He felt more at peace with everything… Guess that was his answer, then…

"I feel…amazing…" Shizuo grumbled. He didn't want to brag since he knew Izaya was suffering.

"I'm glad, Shizu-chan," Izaya said as he stood from the floor. "I don't know why Roppi insists on sleeping on the floor so much. My whole body is stiff!" He strode to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out Aspirin, grateful that the beast even had it in his apartment.

"Flea… How do _you_ feel?" Shizuo asked him when returned to the room.

"I feel like I did yesterday," Izaya responded.

"And how was that?"

"Same as the day before~."

"Izaaaayaaaaaaa…" Shizuo growled, annoyed at the lack of straightforward answers.

"Still such a brute even after the absorption of your other personalities… Ah well. I guess you're still you," Izaya shrugged.

Shizuo froze. He _was _still himself. What had he expected? To be another person? No… But he had expected something more that what was given. Still, he was happy with the way things turned out on his end. Happier than he had been in ages. Maybe now, he could finally reel in that anger of his.

"So, what's on the great blondie's agenda today?" The raven asked suddenly.

"Erm…well, I'm off tomorrow… But I have to meet Tom a little later today… What are you going to do?" Shizuo responded.

"I think I'll renew my love for the internet. My poor computer has been without my lovely fingers for too long!" Izaya sing-songed, holding up the nimble appendages for emphasis. The blond frowned.

_That's not the only thing that's been without your fingers for too long…_

"I see."

"Nnn, Shizu-chan. You don't seem too happy this morning for someone who's almost sane again."

"What reason do I have to be sane, when you're…" Shizuo cut his sentence short. Crimson eyes narrowed.

"When I'm what? Finish it! What?" Izaya hissed.

"Insane! There, you happy? You need help!" Shizuo was angry, as always. The flea just got under his skin sometimes. It couldn't be helped…

"The only thing I need is for you to shut up! Every damn second you just _have _to insist that you know what's better for me than I do! I've been on my own for almost my whole life. I know how to take care of myself!" Izaya snarled. But…something happened then that he never would've expected.

"Fine. I don't want to argue with you. Just calm down," Shizuo huffed.

To say Izaya was surprised was an understatement. He gawked at the blond like he was floating in mid-air.

"Sh-Shizu-chan? You…actually kept your temper?" he mumbled, mostly to himself. The brute heard him nonetheless.

"I just get tired of having the same conversation. I know I won't win with you about this whole thing. Just drop it."

What reason did he have to argue anymore? Who knew how much time he even had left with the smaller man? Izaya was looking at him interestedly now.

"That…was like Tsugaru was speaking. But it was still you…"

"_Tsu-chan? Where?" _Psyche squeaked inside his head.

"Part of Shizu-chan… But still there!" Izaya responded.

"Still- what are you talking about, louse?" Shizuo mumbled, confused.

"Don't you see? They're part of you now but somehow… It's like they still exist in their own forms too… Maybe like you can feel them without having to hear them? It's like they're your conscience now! Oh, what an interesting turn of events! You're one person again but your alternates are still very much a part of you!" Izaya looked almost giddy when he said all of this. Shizuo just looked confused.

"So…wait… You're telling me they're still…alive?"

"Stupid protozoan… They never _died, _you idiot! They simply joined back into your subconscious. Like melting back together!"

Shizuo stared at him.

"Seriously? Ugh, think of an ice tray, Shizu-chan. What happens to ice when it melts?" Izaya tried again.

"Um… It becomes water…" Shizuo answered dimly.

"Yes, but is it still _there_?"

"Oh… I think I'm getting it now…"

"Exactly! Each of the cubes melts into the tray, but they are still in existence. Eventually the water leaves the individual grooves in the tray and fills the whole ice tray with water! So, you are in the process of reconciling your mind back together! Though they cannot speak with you anymore, they are very much a part of you. This is so interesting~!"

Suddenly, Shizuo didn't feel so guilty anymore.

"You really think that? I mean. They're not…dead?"

"Silly imbecile. Of course not. You're just well now. Which means, they are where they belong," Izaya smirked.

"Now that I'm better… Can't you…reassemble too?" The blond asked warily.

"I'll…work on it…" The raven sighed.

* * *

><p>Shizuo was finished with his shift now. Tom was in a really good mood due to getting paid extra to keep the blond off of a wealthy man. Apparently, word had spread about the awful mood the brute was in recently. Now of course he wasn't so pissy anymore, but the clientele didn't have to know that. Whatever helped him not have to use violence.<p>

Shizuo really hated violence.

He was heading back to the raven's apartment, grateful that he could still do so. He had been worried that Izaya wouldn't want to continue seeing him after his alternates were gone, however, Izaya had told him to come over after work. Shizuo had packed clothes and taken them with him, so he wouldn't risk going so long without clean clothes again.

Suddenly though, his phone vibrated. Looking down, he saw a message from Celty.

_[Shinra wants to know if you have time to visit?]_

Technically he did… He was off earlier than expected. But, if he avoided the spectacled man again, he didn't want to think about the hissy fit he would have to endure.

_[I'll be right over.]_

As always, he didn't knock when he arrived at Shinra's. There was never really any need. Ever since he could remember, he would always stride in. Shinra never complained, so he never stopped. As the blond opened the door, he saw Celty sitting on the couch, a laptop resting on her legs. She wasn't wearing her helmet, and the black smoke was wispy as it clouded out of her neck.

"Shizuo! Thanks for stopping by!" Shinra said loudly as he ran from the bedroom. He was holding a bag of what seemed to be vitamins. "I wanted you to give these to Izaya for me. If I took them, he'd just pitch a fit again. But he really needs to take these supplements to help him get his body back in shape."

Shizuo eyed the bag. He knew he wouldn't have much success either in trying to help the smaller man. The bag would most likely be thrown out by the morning. Sighing, he took it anyway.

"Thanks. I'll give it to him."

Shinra studied him for a second.

"Shizuo… What exactly is your relationship with Izaya?"

The blond froze. He knew this question would arise eventually. Still, he was hoping for later rather than sooner.

"There…isn't a word for what we are…" he said quietly, finding the room suddenly very heated.

"You're more than friends though, aren't you?" The glasses glinted in the light.

_Oh dear lord, could this get any fucking worse?_

Shizuo said nothing, but looked at the doctor and gave a curt nod. Shinra smiled at him, but said nothing else on the matter. For now, at least.

Shizuo turned to say goodbye to Celty. He studied the laptop screen for a moment.

"Celty! You're still part of the whole Dollars thing?" he growled at her. She jumped at the sound of her name, and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck.

_[I like the chats…] _her PDA read as it was thrust into the blond's face.

Shizuo huffed loudly before he scanned the screen. He saw Celty's entries appear under "Setton".

"You're discussing Izaya?" he asked her as he read.

_[He's been acting strange lately. People have been noticing.]_

Of course they would… He wondered what Izaya would say if he knew.

_Setton- He looked rough last time I saw him. I wonder what's up with him._

_Taro Tanaka- No one I know seems to have the answer either. Maybe no one cares? Poor guy. It must be rough having no friends._

Shizuo found truth in that statement. Aside from Shinra and Kadota, Izaya didn't seem to have any friends. Still, what a rude thing to say. He wondered if they all, like Celty, actually knew the raven in person.

_Setton- What could make a person lose so much weight in such a short amount of time?_

_Hikaru- Drugs? Maybe he's a user now._

Shizuo laughed at that. Izaya use drugs? Yeah, he was a real Aspirin junkie.

_Taro Tanaka- I say it's something mental. Maybe he's depressed?_

_-Kanra has joined the chatroom!-_

The blond sighed. Did these people have nothing better to do than probe the internet and gossip all night?

_Setton- Hey Kanra! Been awhile!_

_Taro Tanaka- Kanra-chan! Thought you were dead for awhile!_

_Kanra- Hey guys! Nah, I've been busy. So, you're still babbling about Izaya Orihara?_

_Hikaru- Yeah, I saw him in town today going back to Shinjuku. He looked worse than last time. He was mumbling to himself again._

Shizuo couldn't help but continue to read. Izaya would freak out if he knew these people were observing him so well.

_Kanra- I think you guys are reading too much into this. Maybe he's stressed out?_

_Taro Tanaka- Then he's been stressing way worse than I ever have._

_Hikaru- I think he's crazy! Fucking crazy! Lol, I always thought so but I really think that now!_

_Setton- Hikaru! That's not nice at all. Crazy is a strong term!_

_Kanra- He's not crazy! He's not!_

Whoever this "Kanra" was, she was awfully defensive.

_Taro Tanaka- Kanra-chan?_

_Setton- Do you know him in person? _

_Kanra- …_

_Kanra- I used to…_

_-Kanra has logged off the chatroom!-_

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Dun dun DUNNN!<em>

_Izaya: I'm being insulted! I'll troll them all out of existence!_

_Shizuo: Calm down flea. We already know you're losing your marbles._

_Izaya: I have all of my marbles! _

_Sachi: That sounds kinda wrong…Anyway, review for the next chapter! I'm making it extra…steamy. If you get my drift. *winks*_

_Shizuo: YES! FINALLY!_

_Izaya: I don't get it. Review so I can find out!_


	34. Deep

_Finally, I got to use the huffin' laptop! So, here's an update for those of you who were totally patient with me~! On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Deep<strong>

Izaya was bored. Bored, bored, bored! He had promised the blond he would go on the internet... But he wasn't sure that would occupy enough of his mind. Sighing, he went to his computer and logged onto the Dollar's chat room. There was a lenghty discussion going on...about him.

_Setton- He looked rough last time I saw him. I wonder what's up with him._

_ Taro Tanaka- No one I know seems to have the answer either. Maybe no one cares? Poor guy. It must be rough having no friends._

Izaya hissed at the snide remark. Who needed friends? That was a human requirement for happiness.

_Setton- What could make a person lose so much weight in such a short amount of time?_

_ Hikaru- Drugs? Maybe he's a user now?_

How dare they? That was where the conversation had ended before he logged in. Now it was cheery greeting to the person they were bad mouthing.

_Setton- Hey Kanra! Been awhile!_

_ Taro Tanaka- Kanra-chan! Thought you were dead for awhile!_

_ Kanra- Hey guys! Nah, I've been busy. So, you're still babbling about Izaya Orihara?_

_ Hikaru- Yeah, I saw him in town today going back to Shinjuku. He looked worse than last time. He was mumbling to himself again._

Crimson eyes narrowed. He wasn't talking to himself! He was talking to Roppi!

_Kanra- I think you guys are reading too much into this. Maybe he's stressed out? _

In all honesty, he _was _stressed out. Immensely so.

_ Taro Tanaka- Then he's been stressing way worse than I ever have._

_ Hikaru- I think he's crazy! Fucking crazy! Lol, I always thought so but I really think that now!_

Okay, why was that statement suddenly so hard to argue with?

_Setton- Hikaru! That's not nice at all! Crazy is a strong term! _

_ Kanra- He's not crazy! He's not!_

_ Taro Tanaka- Kanra-chan?_

_ Setton- Do you know him in person?_

Izaya paused his fingers over the keyboard for a moment. Did he know himself? Not really... Not anymore. He was just as lost as the rest of them with what was happening to him.

_Kanra- ..._

_ Kanra- I used to..._

_-Kanra has logged off the chatroom!-_

He paced the floor. He paced around his computer desk, then around the entire apartment. Why couldn't he think? Why were the voices so loud? Why...was his own voice so damn hard to hear? HE NEEDED TO THINK, DAMMIT!

So why couldn't he? Why, no matter how hard he concentrated, could he not answer a single question he asked himself? It was always a bombardment of responses from his alternates.

_"Iza-chan... They called you crazy..." _Psyche said.

_"Orihara... Even the most noble and proud king knows when he cannot stand alone," _Hibiya whispered.

_"Izaya. Why is it everyone else can see it but you? You need help. And soon," _Roppi hissed.

"You think I don't know that? I know that just as well as you! Even better than you! I don't even remember my fucking address! It took me three tries to log into the chatroom! I feel like a senile senior citizen and it's getting worse..." Izaya groaned, his knees giving out. His head was met with the hard surface of his floor.

_"Then why don't you tell Shizuo that? Have him help you!" _Roppi ground out.

"I'd...rather die...than tell Shizu-chan I'm not perfect..." Izaya mumbled, his eyes going blank. If only...he could find a way to muffle the voices. Just a simple way to shut them up, even if only for a little while. He remained on the floor until Shizuo walked in.

The blond strode immediately to the raven's side, lifting him up. The carmine gaze looked up at him, relief making its presence known in their red depths.

"Shizu-chan... You came for me..." he whimpered, caressing the bodyguard's face. Shizuo leaned into the touch.

"Izaya...what happened?" he asked the smaller male, noting the slight hysteria in the gentle features.

The raven smirked up at him, his eyes glowing with mischief.

"Shizu-chan~. When you're holding me, they're silent."

"Come again?" Shizuo asked blankly. His answer was the raven's lips on his.

Izaya sat up, connecting their mouths abruptly, sliding his tongue against the brute's. Shizuo blinked, but gave in easy enough. He groaned as he dominated the lip-lock, pulling the man into his lap. Izaya let out a gentle gasp, his breath washing over Shizuo's face. The blond immediately lowered his mouth to the ivory skin of the informant's neck, covering it with bruises.

"Mmm...ah...Shizu-chan... Leave a ton of...marks..." Izaya moaned, tangling his fingers in golden locks as he felt teeth graze his flesh. Large hands moved down to his ass, pulling him further into the brute's lap.

"Want me to tell the world... That you're mine?" Shizuo growled, pulling the lithe body against his own, grinding their hips together.

"Hah...Y-Yes..."

That damn velvet voice would be his undoing. He was finding it harder to hold back. Every movement created a different noise from the man on top of him. It was like they were reading braille on each other's bodies.

Izaya pressed down rather roughly, releasing a growl from the monster. Nimble fingers worked against his tie, undoing it and throwing it to the side. He then started unbuttoning the white shirt, pausing only to remove the vest first. Shizuo raised his head to look into the flea's eyes.

Blazing crimson met steamy mocha. The blond marveled at the kiss swollen lips, the hazy glow in red orbs, the light pink dust covering the informant's face. Izaya was _breathtaking_.

The raven's fingers picked up where they left off, and undid every button on the white dress shirt. His eyes never leaving the blond's, he slowly removed the white material, Shizuo helping him by shrugging it off his arms. Then large hands moved to the black and tan jacket, removing it harshly.

"E-Eager, are we?" Izaya joked as Shizuo ran his hands under the long sleeve T-shirt he wore. The raven's breath hitched when calloused hands found his nipples. The brute caressed one, while using his thumb and forefinger to pinch and abuse the other.

"Nnn- Shizu~" Izaya groaned at he threw his head back in ecstasy. Shizuo gave an animalistic grin before he yanked the man's head back, forcefully connecting their lips. They broke the heated session only to fully pull off the informant's shirt completely, then resumed the sloppy kiss.

Shizuo rose, holding the smaller male up by grabbing his ass again to support him. Izaya responded by wrapping his legs around the brute's waist, holding on tightly as he dove his tongue in for more. Shizuo stumbled, landing against the counter as he made his way to the flea's large bedroom. Izaya, being who he was, impatiently thrust his hips against Shizuo's to emphasize the need to hurry.

"Sh-Shit, Izazya..." he hissed, almost running in the direction of the bedroom now. He slammed the door open, throwing the informant down on the mattress. He looked down at his prize, bucking and needy. Izaya looked like a fucking meal right now, and Shizuo fully intended to taste him.

He crawled on top of the smaller man, straddling his thighs as he pushed him against the surface of the bed. Izaya's head hit the pillow as his mouth was devoured. He whined when the blond pulled away, trying to keep the connection between their mouths. Shizuo pushed him back.

"Stay," he told the smaller man as his hands moved lower to the silver button of the black pants. Izaya mewled as he was relieved of the constricting material. Coffee eyes hungrily eyed the tent in the navy boxers as he threw the pants on the floor. He experimentally pushed his hand lightly on the front of the silk material.

"Ahh! Mmm, God-" Izaya panted, urging Shizuo to continue. The blond grinned wickedly, repeating the action over and over. His large hands ripped the material away to get better access to the engorged flesh. He looked hungrily at the informant's erection, before he licked the side of it lightly. Izaya practically screamed.

"Ohh, Shiz-" he managed, trying to force himself into the hot cavern. Shizuo held him down as his tongue wrapped around the now fully erect member, suckling lightly as he took the entire length into his mouth. The informant was bucking underneath him, shoving himself all the way into the back of Shizuo's throat.

The blond's hands came to rest on the raven's thighs, guiding the smaller hips to pull further away from his mouth, then fully back into it. Izaya's eyes were rolling back into his head.

"Shi-Shizu-chan- So good..." he hissed as his slit was tongued too. He could feel the brute laughing, the vibrations causing wonderful sensations. Shizuo puled off of him and looked up at him smugly.

"Izaya~. Open your mouth for better things," he grinned, as he stood swiftly to retrieve a tiny bottle he had bought just for this occasion. Izaya watched him hungrily, still trying to catch his breath, as Shizuo squeezed some of the lube from the bottle.

The way the raven was looking up at him, through his bangs... How could anything be so sexy? Shizuo leaned down to kiss him hard as he positioned a fully slicked finger between Izaya's legs, rubbing over his entrance. Izaya gasped, jerking his hips forward and whining breathlessly. Gently, Shizuo pushed one in.

"Nnn..." Izaya breathed into his mouth as Shizuo pushed the finger in all the way, pulling it out only to slowly press back in. He repeated the motion, adding another finger when he deemed the other ready for it. He began to scissor the small hole, stretching it the best he could. Izaya mewled beneath him, riding against the digits. Shizuo added the third.

This one caused a little pain. Izaya scrunched his eyes up tight, taking deep breaths as he removed his mouth from the brute's. He hissed at the twinges of electricity that shot through his body. Shizuo started desperately searching for the sweet spot...

"Ah! There!" Izaya shouted, arching up into the hold. Shizuo blinked, but did as was told and aimed for the same spot repeatedly.

"Hah..." The informant moaned as the blond picked up his pace, the overwhelming pleasure threatening to push him over the finish line.

"S-Shizu-chan...stop! I- I can't! Too good!" he ground out as his prostate was hit dead on. The brute smirked and stopped what he was doing.

"Tell me what you want, Izaya."

"Mmm... I want you...to fuck me...into the mattress..." Izaya said shamelessly, looking through half lidded eyes to see the blond's expression change from animalistic to full predatory.

Shizuo removed himself for a moment, lifting to undo his own pants and remove his boxers in a single swipe. He then lined himself up with the now prepared entrance, reaching down to squeeze more lube onto his member. He gently inserted the head into the tight ring of muscles, pausing to observe his lover's face.

Izaya's lips were parted, his eyes closed in concentration. He wrapped his legs around the blond's waist again, signaling to push in all the way. Shizuo did just that. He sheathed himself to the hilt inside the hot walls, _slowly_, waiting again before he started moving.

The informant was biting his lower lip, trying not to voice the pain he was feeling. Yes, he was prepared, but this was just- a lot. A lot in every aspect of the word. It wasn't just the physical aspect, but the mental as well. He felt complete for the first time in ages. So he waited until the pain subsided a little, before he arched upwards into the blond's body, giving the go ahead.

Shizuo pulled out, almost all the way, before he slammed back in. Izaya hissed in pain mingled with pleasure, adjusting to the rhythm quickly. He was meeting Shizuo thrust for thrust, each searching for the sweet spot again.

"Ah! Th-There!" Izaya moaned loudly. That was pleasure that he never felt before! He never thought it could feel so incredible being filled. He almost felt complete again, here, joined with Shizuo.

"Heh... Easy..." Shizuo huffed, ramming into the spot again and again. The man beneath him was writhing in pleasure, still matching his thrusts. Izaya's eyes were closed, his eyebrows furrowed each time his prostate was hit. Shizuo's aim was accurate, but not flawless. Some of the thrusts clumsily missed by a few degrees, just barely rubbing against the bundle of nerves and driving Izaya crazy.

"Izaya... I need you to open your eyes," Shizuo huffed after a particular hard thrust had both men moaning in unison. Hazy crimson opened unwillingly, staring up into chocolate brown. They held each other's gaze as the blond took one of the raven's legs and hooked it over his shoulder, deepening the thrusts.

"AH! Shizu!" Izaya howled, still trying to keep his eyes open. This felt fucking _amazing_. "Shizu-chan... Ki-Kiss me..." he pleaded.

The blond leaned down, connecting their lips as his thrusts grew more erratic. Izaya tangled his hands in yellow tresses, deepening the sloppy kiss. Shizuo reached down to grasp Izaya's cock, firmly, if a bit clumsily, pumping in time with his thrusts.

"Shizuo-! Shizuo!" Izaya sobbed, his release splattering all over his and the blond's chests. The use of his real name and the tightening of the velvet walls around him had Shizuo coming too, filling Izaya to the brim. Izaya moaned loudly at the feeling, his toes curling tightly. Shizuo fell on top of him, pulling out gently and lying beside him in the sullied sheets.

The brute peppered light kisses up the informant's neck as he wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Both of them were panting heavily, equally spent.

He had finally fucked the flea! No interruptions, no having to stop halfway through. He had been able to claim the man as his own. But...It wasn't simply _fucking _was it?

Making love... That seemed like a better way to phrase it... If only...Izaya felt the same. But there was only one way to know that. Fearing rejection was natural, but if he didn't do this... He would never forgive himself.

It was all or nothing.

"Izaya, I love you... I love...you..." Shizuo confessed, waiting for the laughter, or at least the anger. It never came. Had the man fallen asleep?

Shizuo looked at his face. No, it was worse than being asleep. Izaya's ruby eyes were unfocused again, his mind somewhere else. Just like that, his flea had been taken from him. These episodes were happening much more frequently now. Who knew when the man would break? Everything Shizuo had been holding back since the beginning, everything he had tried so hard to hide, all the fucking pain he felt at being completely helpless and useless was now running down his face. He buried his face in the informant's neck and cried freely, praying his love would return.

His confession remained unheard.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Why must everything be so sad?<em>

_Shizuo: You wrote it. Why can't I get laid without the drama?_

_Sachi: It's a dramatic story! Gah, if it was all kittens and happy sushi, it wouldn't be worth reading!_

_Psyche: Reviewers will get their very own wooden plank!_

_Sachi:..._

_Shizuo: Why the hell would anyone want that?_

_Psyche: To go planking with, of course~!_


	35. Gathering

_I must say...I was kinda concerned last chapter...You know, with the whole finally writing the smut and ending it on a major downer thing. You guys were very understanding! IzayaNeko, you're quoting me now? That's a good way to get in trouble, haha! In thanks to all of your general awesomeness, I'm posting a chapter earlier than planned~! (Oh also it's a belated gift for Izaya's birthday...) *dodges knife* On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Gathering<strong>

Shizuo woke to see it was still dark in the room, despite daybreak. Upon further inspection, he could hear the thunder crashing outside. Of course it would be raining. The weather seemed to fit his mood. Even the _sky_ cried for Izaya Orihara. Maybe the damn man _was _a god...

The blond had a crashing headache. He hadn't shown such emotion in so long, and he felt that his body just didn't know how to react to it anymore. It was like his head was punishing him for crying for the first time in almost fifteen years. He grumbled, pulling the smaller body beside him closer, trying to will his aching head to feel better.

Izaya was awake, but silent. He stared out the sliver of the outdoors he could see between the blinds. His ruby eyes were somewhere between unfocused and concentrated, both fighting for control. Lazily, he turned his head toward the brute when he felt the warm body pull him closer.

"Shizu-chan..." he smiled, brushing his fingertips over the man's still kiss swollen lips. Mocha eyes widened, snapping down to look at him.

"Izaya! Oh, thank god..." he sighed, kissing every bit of the informant's skin he could reach.

"Why are your eyes so red? You didn't sleep well? Here I thought physical activity did a body well." Izaya's smooth voice drawled.

Still the same Izaya... Still the same...

"Please... Please don't...go away anymore..." Shizuo whispered.

"Eh? Where did I go?" Izaya asked incredulously.

Shizuo pulled their lips together, kissing the informant hard. Izaya tilted his head, giving their heated lip lock a better angle. Shizuo heard the slight moan Izaya let out as the warm breath washed over his face.

"I'm guessing...you didn't hear anything I said after we made love..." Shizuo said, breaking apart from the fierce battle of tongues and teeth. Izaya's crimson eyes widened considerably.

"Made love? What a ridiculous thing to say, Shizu-chan. I will admit it was an amazing experience though. You can have me again whenever you like~." Izaya laughed, tossing the gentle admission to the side. The brute frowned, but didn't comment. At least the man _heard_ him this time.

"I assure you it'll happen more times than you can count," Shizuo grinned wickedly, giving the other a chaste kiss. The raven mewled when they parted, rising from the mattress, still completely naked.

"If I'm not mistaken, today is Shinra's party," Izaya said, going through his closet for clothes. The blond watched his every move from the bed.

"Yeah... Did you still want to go?"

"Of course. Shinra may be an insignificant little pest, but I do owe him quite alot. As long as he doesn't try to inject me with anything, I'm fine," Izaya said as he pulled a charcoal gray sweater from his closet, as well as black dress pants. "Do you want to go to your apartment to get some nicer clothes?"

"I'm not leaving you here by yourself," Shizuo mumbled stubbornly. He felt the glare sent his way from the smaller man.

"Are you implying I need a babysitter?" Izaya asked, his tone verging on dangerous.

"No. I just want to be with you," Shizuo huffed, eyeing a fold in the duvet he suddenly found very interesting. He heard Izaya chuckle.

"Fine. Then I'll go with you to get your clothes. First things first, I need a shower. Next time we have sex, we're cleaning up afterwards. I feel sticky in places no man should ever feel sticky..."

Grnet eyes flashed mischievously, and then Izaya drew close to the other man.

"Shizu-chan~. Why don't you shower with me?" he purred, nuzzling the other's ear as he breathed into it. Shizuo felt his body grow hot at the simple words.

"No need to ask twice, flea," he growled, lifting the informant and smashing their lips together as they stumbled to the washroom.

* * *

><p>It was still raining hard when they exited the raven's apartment building. Izaya had a very large umbrella he released over their heads, saving them from the fat raindrops that continued to assault the pavement. Shizuo was pleased, happy that he had an excuse to walk so close to the other man. He wrapped his hand in the Izaya's free hand, swinging the linked appendages.<p>

"Shizu-chan, you're very happy today," Izaya observed, intertwining their fingers. "I guess the monster likes getting lucky."

Shizuo laughed loudly.

"Who doesn't?" he asked, still chuckling. "The fact that it was you made it that much hotter."

"Mmm, if you don't stop with the sweet talk I may have to ask you where you put _my_ monster," Izaya joked, the familiar glint back in his eyes.

"_Your _monster? Guess that means the flea is at least a little attached," Shizuo smirked. Izaya chuckled.

"I suppose so. We fleas tend to get attached to the beings we suck the life from~."

"We monsters tend to love getting the life sucked from us."

"You implying that I should suck something again?" Izaya purred.

"If you want. I'm more addicted to being inside you now, though," Shizuo said bluntly, noting the blush that crept over the pale skin of his counterpart.

"Such a Delic thing to say..." the informant mumbled.

"Such a Hibiya reaction," the bodyguard countered.

They made their way into Ikebukuro, glad that everyone was too busy trying to find shelter from the rain to notice them properly. When they arrived at the brute's building, Izaya closed the large umbrella, shaking the moisture off of it before they stepped inside.

The raven immediately walked to the taller man's closet, looking for a proper outfit.

"If I'm going to be seen with you, you must at least look like a trained little beast," he explained. He shuffled through the endless bartender getups before his nimble fingers paused over thick material. He pulled out a tan colored sweater with a v-neck collar.

"Shizu-chan, you have to wear this~!" he sang, showing the other the garment.

"Aw, man... I forgot that Kasuka gave me that..." Shizuo grumbled, pulling off his shirt and reaching for the offending material. He pulled the sweater over his head, noticing Izaya's pleased face instantly.

The monster looked _damn_ good in that sweater. So different from the things he usually wore, but still so elegant that he looked...sexy. The informant licked his lips as he returned to the closet to find pants. He settled on navy colored slacks, tossing them to the blond.

Izaya walked over to him, running his fingers through the golden locks, disheveling them. He brushed the hair this way and that, styling it. When he was finished nit-picking, he stepped back to view the finished product.

"Shizu-chan, I must say you look downright edible right now," Izaya smirked, standing on his toes to press his lips to the brute's. Shizuo hummed against his mouth, deepening the kiss.

"You always look edible," he countered, licking the other male's teeth. They were getting ready for round three of their marathon love-making when the raven's phone went off. They were forced to stop eye-fucking each other by the shrill ringing noise.

"What?" Izaya asked when he pushed the 'accept' button.

_"Izaya! Did you get the vitamins I sent you?" _Shinra asked loudly.

"Yes. I threw them in the garbage disposal and laughed as they died," the raven huffed.

_"Izayaaaa! You'resickandyouneedit!" _the doctor wailed quickly.

"I know, I know. They're still on my counter. What time would you like for Shizu-chan and I to come over?" Izaya asked.

_"Now! We've already got some people over! Hurry up and make sure you have a present!" _Shinra laughed. Izaya hung up.

"Fuck... We forgot to get him a gift..." he told the Shizuo, who was staring at him.

They made their way back into the storm under the umbrella, to the nearest shop. They got Shinra a new medical kit, filled with various gadgets. For Celty, it was more difficult.

"We should get her a hat. A tiara. Oh, a headband!" Izaya joked, earning a firm smack from the blond. They settled on flowers. It seemed perfectly cliche enough to be acceptable. Finally, they started toward Shinra's humble abode.

Izaya stepped in first, looking around the room at the various faces. Shinra knew a lot of people! Mostly from the underground... Shiki was standing by the window, chatting with a subordinate. Izaya hissed, and started toward him.

"Oi. Talk to Shinra first. It's common courtesy," Shizuo said as he pulled Izaya back, forcing him to walk in the general direction of the brunet.

"Izaya! Shizuo! Great to see both of you!" Shinra greeted, his arms wrapped firmly around the Dullahan's waist. It was an open romantic gesture, and both men were surprised that Celty wasn't trying to pull away. Usually she would intervene if the spectacled man got too clingy in public, but now her body rested firmly against the young doctor's. Her helmet cocked to the side as she observed the two men.

_[Are you here together?]_

"Of course. We walked in together didn't we?" Izaya laughed, dismissing the obvious question.

_[I meant are you here together as a couple?]_

Izaya's gaze turned thoughtful as Shizuo sighed. The brute hated questions like that, because it was a good way to have the flea openly shoot his feelings down.

"Yes. I suppose that _is_ the way things have turned out..." Izaya mused, shocking everyone around him.

"Y-You got me flowers!" Shinra blurted suddenly, trying to clear the awkwardness in the air. Shizuo pulled his gaze away from Izaya to flick the doctor's forehead.

"These are for Celty, stupid," he growled. The Dullahan took the flowers gratefully, bowing in thanks. Izaya handed Shinra the large box. (They had it gift wrapped at the shop.)

"A new medical bag! Oh, with the extra-" and the doctor man was off, explaining what every tool was used for in _explicit _detail. While he was ranting, Izaya used his chance to escape. He scanned the crowd, looking for Shiki.

"Izaya." A deep voice said from behind him. He turned to look up at the older man.

"Shiki-san," he said, bowing accordingly. The man motioned for the raven to follow him. They went out to the balcony, away from the crowd and music.

"Izaya, you still look the same. Are you not well yet?" Shiki asked him as soon as the door was closed.

"I was never sick enough to take off work! I can return tomorrow! Tonight! I _need_ to return!" Izaya hissed, his voice edging on desperate. Shiki raised a ringed hand to silence him.

"Obviously you're not relaxed at all. Maybe we should consider...making your leave long-term."

The raven felt his stomach drop at the words, his hope crushed. He was done for. He was finished. He was imperfect. Whatever Shiki said next didn't register with him. He was slipping...slipping...

The older male looked at the raven, concern etched into his features. He sighed loudly and made his way back inside, congratulating Shinra and Celty before he and his bodyguards exited the party. Izaya was still on the balcony, staring into the cloudy sky absently.

* * *

><p>Back inside, Shizuo was searching for Izaya. Despite it being such an enclosed place, it was full of people. This made it very hard to move around in and even harder to locate people. The blond bumped against countless bodies as he tried to make his way through the crowd.<p>

"Shizu-chan!" Erika's voice called out suddenly. Shizuo bit his lip as he willed her to explode. No such luck. She stopped directly in front of him, Walker in tow.

"Where's Izaya? We saw you walking around together earlier today, all comfy under the umbrella~. We were getting the newest volume of our favorite manga! So tell me, are you guys dating? In love? Have you done it yet? Please tell me you have!" she squealed. Walker tried to edge away from her.

"Erika! Leave him alone! You know he hates Izaya!" Kadota's voice said from behind her. "Shizuo. Been a while."

"Kadota. Still messing with these gangs, I see," Shizuo huffed.

"Of course. In case you haven't noticed, almost everyone in here is either underground, Yakuza, or gang related," Kadota shrugged.

"Dota-chin! Where's Izaya?" Erika asked him loudly, speaking over the music.

"I don't know, but when I see him I'm going to hit him for teaching you to call me that!" Kadota snapped irritably. Shizuo laughed, immediately scanning the crowd again for the smaller man. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

><p>Outside, it was pouring rain again. Izaya still stared up at the sky, not even flinching as he was soaked.<p>

_"Iza-chan... Go inside. You'll get sick," _Psyche said gently. The other alternates were being quiet, or so it seemed.

"Shut up... If I stay out here maybe I'll get lucky and drown..." Izaya hissed. He stepped over to the edge of the balcony, looking down. This was just like his nightmare...

He stood over the humans, observing from a high place. Shiki had just kicked him off his pedestal. Now he was doomed to walk mindlessly with the rest of the world. That...was horrifying... What could he do to end it?

For a moment...only a moment...jumping seemed like a great idea. So fast, so easy. No one would be any wiser to his death for a few hours at least. The humans below would discover him and call the paramedics, knowing it was too late to save him anyway. Silly creatures.

Just as he placed a foot over the edge, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to face Hachimenroppi, who was _glaring _at him. Behind him were- Izaya's heart sank. Psyche and Hibiya were manifested too, glaring at him with equal distaste.

"No...no...please..." Izaya whimpered, falling against the railing, willing the men to disappear.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You die, we die too! Stop being so inconsiderate to everyone besides yourself!" Roppi shouted. The pink eyed male flinched at the raised voice, but stepped forward, trying to help Izaya up.

"Iza-chan... Please...go inside..." he whimpered, tugging on the soaking wet charcoal sweater. Izaya yanked his arm away.

"Orihara! Stop this nonsense at once! Even peasants have enough sense to go inside when it's raining!" Hibiya yelled over the pouring rain. Izaya cowered into his corner, wrapping himself into a ball and refusing to move. They continued to shout, plea, pull, tug, beg...

"Izaya! Izaya! Iza-chan! Orihara!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he finally screamed, yanking at his hair. Nothing he did could make them stop... Nothing... They were manifested... They were real... They existed...

If they existed, then did he? Could he truly tell what was real and what was fake anymore? What if _he _was made up? What if everything was just a figment of his altered reality? What if...he was their alternate?

He rose from his place in the corner and reentered the party. All eyes stopped and looked at him intently. The music even stopped as the crowd parted to let him through.

"Izaya!" Shizuo called, trying to get to him.

The raven looked down at his left hand, once again tied up with various strings. The pink string leading to Psyche who was gently patting his back. The black led to Roppi, who was cursing at him angrily. The yellow led to Hibiya who was lecturing about proper ways to stay healthy after getting soaked in a rainstorm. The red one... The _red_ one!

"EVERYONE STOP!" he shouted suddenly, making the quiet crowd jump. He frantically looked around, trying to find who the red string was attached to. He fell to his hands and knees, following the long thread. He paused when he ran into someone's legs. Whoever it was, they were wearing navy blue trousers.

He looked up at a blond, and the tall man crouched in front of him, looking very worried. Did he know this man? Why was he so concerned? Why was he touching him? Why...couldn't he understand a word the guy was saying? His gaze shifted to the man's left hand.

The thread! The red string was tied on the blond's pointer finger! He lifted the hand, nuzzling it, admiring it. He didn't want to release the thread when he had worked so hard to find it! Why was everyone trying to pull him away?

"No! I have to stay here! Leave me alone! Leave me ALONE!" he shouted, frantically fighting the hands that were trying to help him up. The blond looked scared, and said something to the spectacled man who was kneeling down too now.

Izaya slammed into the blond's chest, sobbing loudly. He just wanted to stay here. Why couldn't they understand? Why was everyone out to get him? So what if he wasn't perfect anymore? Didn't he have a right to stay where he wanted?

"Please! Just let me die here! I'll be out of your way forever...please...PLEASE!" he started thrashing again, but his body was held down by strong hands. Izaya looked wearily down at the hands holding him down then...he noticed the string again... He looked at the blond's face, still crying and pitiful.

In a rush of color, it came back to him. He could understand the human language again. He realized where he was and what a fool he made himself out to be. But even worse was the fact that Shinra was getting a vial... It looked an awful lot like sedatives.

He resumed his escape attempt, clawing at the blond who was screaming his name. Shinra was filling a needle with the sedative, getting ready to use it. Izaya wailed uncontrollably, tears falling in large quantities.

"Shizuo! Shizuo, please! Don't let him do this! Please! I'll do whatever you want! I'll stop calling you 'Shizu-chan'! I'll let you fuck me whenever you want! Please! Please! PLEASE!" he sobbed, thrusting his face in the cream colored sweater, inhaling the monster's scent. He felt the hard body tense against him...and he prepared himself for the needle... But it never came.

Instead, he was lifted off the floor, cradled into Shizuo's chest. The blond ran toward the door, ignoring the pleas from Shinra that followed him. He ran straight into the soaking wet streets, immediately getting drenched by torrents of rain. Izaya cuddled against him close, still crying feebly. He wrapped his arms around the brute's neck, whispering thank yous.

As Shizuo ran to the raven's apartment, he wasn't truly thinking of anything. When the man he loved was so in pain, all he could do was protect him. No matter how bad of an idea it may have been, he had to save Izaya. He couldn't bear to hear his name called with such hysteria.

He cradled Izaya close, promising he wouldn't let anything happen to him. Izaya wasn't hearing a word of it, his crimson eyes focused on the rain they couldn't see.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Right so...I gave you guys a long update! That makes up for the sadness right? I tried to be nice!<em>

_Roppi: This made even me sad. And that's hard to do. You're depressing._

_Sachi: I'm SORRY! D:_

_Tsuki: Um...well, review and you'll get a boat filled with pretzels and a pocket full of dreams!_

_Roppi: Can we have beer with the pretzels?_


	36. Overwhelmed

_Every time I write a chapter on this story, I have to depress myself for a few minutes before I can truly add to it. If I don't, I have to go back and edit it. I want the readers to feel the pain the characters feel. Does it work? I really hope so! D: On with the (depressing) story~!_

* * *

><p><strong>Overwhelmed <strong>

"I'm sorry."

_Why? Why are you sorry?_

"Izaya...stop saying that..."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry...Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..." The raven was still sopping wet, on the floor in a ball. He was rocking back and forth, holding himself around the arms. Shizuo was kneeling in front of him.

"Stop. Stop! Izaya, fucking look at me!"

"So sorry...So sorry..."

Izaya was whimpering, crying feebly. He kept mumbling apologies to the frazzled blond. He was sorry for worrying him...sorry for making him leave the party...sorry for making him fall in love with such an unworthy specimen...but most of all...

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect... I'm sorry!" He yanked his hair again, hard enough so that it was in danger of being ripped out.

"Stop it! You're scaring the hell outta me! Just...calm down alright? Please...I need you to get a grip..." Shizuo pleaded, unsure of what to do.

All he wanted to do was help. He wanted to help the raven like he had helped him. But he had no idea how to do it. He just knew that if Shinra got a hold of him, he might not ever be released. Shizuo couldn't be alone anymore... They were in this together.

"I'm trying...I'm trying..." Izaya whimpered, taking deep breaths. Shizuo ran his hands along the smaller man's spine, trying to soothe him.

What if...he couldn't find his way back this time? What if that edge Roppi warned him about was here? What would he do? What _could _he do? He... He needed Tsugaru. He needed Delic. Tsuki... He needed someone to tell him everything would be alright, dammit! But...

There was only silence...

Silence filled with the whimpers of the broken man before him.

"I'm so sorry, Shizu-chan... I'm so sorry..."

Shizuo sighed, angrily yanking on his own golden locks in frustration. How could he fix this? Izaya Orihara never said sorry. He never cried. He never broke down. But here he was, faced with the inevitable mental breakdown that was happening before him. He knew it was coming...but he...he needed more time...

Please...

Please...

PLEASE!

The raven's phone was ringing; they both ignored it. Then Shizuo's phone rang. They ignored that too. The only things in their minds were the rocking motions the raven was doing and the harsh panting Shizuo was exhibiting. There was only them. There was only the monster and the flea. That's all there had ever been. The others... They were just alternates of the original forms... They weren't real. _They weren't real._

"Izaya... Izaya Orihara. That's who you are. No Psyche. No Hibiya. No Roppi. You're only Izaya. I need you to remember that..." Shizuo whispered, pulling the man's face from his hands.

"No... I'm nobody...I'm everybody... It's all at once, Shizu-chan. It's all up here," Izaya responded, pointing to his head. "They're everywhere now. I can't shut them up anymore."

"Are...you admitting you need help? Are you saying you can't fix this? You never had control over it?" Shizuo asked, knowing the answer. Still...he wanted the raven to laugh at him. To hit him lightly on the arm and make fun of him... Like always...

Like the old Izaya...

"Silly brute... I never had control over it. I see that now... My entire existence is a lie. I'm such a good informant, aren't I, Shizu-chan? I lie so well that I can lie to myself. I've been made a fool of. I can't- I can't go back...to how things were..."

Shizuo's heart dropped.

"I don't want to return to how things were, stupid! I don't want to have you setting me up all the time! I don't want to throw street signs at you and chase you around the city! I want to stay with you like this! Like...like a couple..." the blond shouted, angry and sad all at once. He couldn't bear this...

"Shhh. It's alright. We're alright. There's only this right now... Everything else will come later..." Izaya drawled, leaning forward and pulling the taller man to the floor with him. They were lying on the hard surface, tangled in each other.

"I love you, Izaya," Shizuo whispered to the ceiling.

"I know you do. Now shush. Just keep living in this moment with me. We may not have much time together anymore..." Izaya responded, his voice frail.

"If- if we had never been crazy... If we had just kept chasing each other around Ikebukuro, would we still be here? If I had asked you on a legitimate date, would you have gone?" Shizuo inquired. It was a stupid question, but any time that was spent keeping Izaya grounded was worth the ridicule he may receive.

"Haha, of course not. I would have met you, but only to tease you. Maybe we could've had a one night stand... That would've been good for you," Izaya laughed. "Of course, I could never truly leave you alone... Even if you wanted to leave, and forget about me, I'd follow you. That's just how I am. I'm stingy with my toys."

Shizuo nuzzled against his hair, inhaling the scent that was purely _Izaya. _The smell he used to hate. Just like the man in his arms. The man he used to hate. So much had changed in such little time. More was changing. Everything he had gained was being taken from him.

"I'm your toy? That makes sense..."

"You're my favorite toy. My favorite monster. My only sanity," Izaya whispered, his eyes focused on the ceiling.

Vaguely, they could hear the storm that was still assaulting the city outside. The sounds of cars running through puddles and people running from the moisture filled the night.

"Do you believe in coincidence?' Izaya asked suddenly.

"Coincidence?"

"We met back in high school. We were in 'hate at first sight' with each other. You spent every day almost for eight years chasing me. Now, you caught me, and it ended up like this. Coincidence? Fate?"

"I don't give a fuck. I hate all that stupid fate crap. We're like this because we choose to be," Shizuo huffed.

"Karma then? Because I ruined so many lives, my payback is to lose my mind? No, that's not good enough...There would be no reason to put _you _through this. You've never done anything to have your karma turned against you," Izaya mused.

"I beat people up for my paycheck. I'm just as guilty as you."

There was a peaceful silence around them again. The rain continued outside, and the city continued to thrive despite the weather. Izaya began to absently hum a tune that Shizuo didn't recognize.

"Do...you feel better?" Shizuo asked. The humming stopped.

"My wounds have a Band-Aid on them, but are far from healed. For the moment, my episode is coming to a close. As for right now, I'm still unstable. But, it will be alright. Everything will be alright. Everything..."

And the humming started again. Shizuo knew that the raven's grip on reality was slipping despite his words that he was almost better again. There was unimaginable pain in his chest. Pain that he hadn't felt since...he hurt that woman so long ago.

"You're alright. Everything's alright. Nothing else can happen tonight... It's only us now, Shizu-chan," Izaya hummed absently.

Why was he saying such random things? Was he comforting himself? Or...trying to comfort the blond? But why would he be trying to comfort Shizuo?

"Shizu-chan... You're going to be fine. Relax."

"What are you-" Shizuo began, but then he heard it. The cracking in his voice. And he realized, he was crying again.

"Shhh. We're fine. We're perfect, together. We're complete... We're safe from the storm."

Did he mean the storm outside or the storm in his mind?

"I know. I know that..." Shizuo responded, pulling him closer.

"Shhhh. Let's go to sleep. And in the morning, everything will be different. It will be sunny outside, and we'll feel better," Izaya mumbled, his eyes glazing over again.

"No. No! I want to stay awake with you! Izaya, don't go to sleep yet! I don't know... If you'll be yourself when you wake up..."

"Silly... I told you I'm nobody. Anyone I wake up as will be me. Like that old Beatles song... How did it go?"

"Izaya..."

"I am he, as you are he, as you are me…"

_"__Izaya."_

"And we are all together~."

"Shut up for a second! Damn your incessant babbling!" Shizuo sighed, gritting his teeth.

"Heh… Despite your sudden agitation with me...at least I stopped your tears…" Izaya hummed again, reaching his hands toward the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked, watching the raven's fingers flex, obviously trying to grab something.

"I see the threads…They're rather beautiful, don't you agree?"

"I…can't see anything…" Shizuo admitted.

"What a shame. You would think they were beautiful. There's one tied to you. Did you know that? It's red. It's tied to your pointer finger, and it's attached to mine at the other end. We're connected." Izaya moved his hands around through the air.

"Red thread? But that means…"

"I know what it means, Shizu-chan. It's alright. If this is how everything turned out, it's alright…" The raven dropped his hands, linking one of them with Shizuo's.

Their eyes met once more. The blond could tell that his flea was almost out of it again. He leaned over and kissed the smaller man, telling him it would be alright. Izaya smiled.

"Shizu-chan… Did you know… There's no one I would rather be tied to…than you…" Izaya purred, his eyes closing as he spoke.

"I love you," Shizuo whispered.

"Shhhh. Sleep time…"

"Izaya… Look at me…" Shizuo pleaded. Izaya opened a hazy eye to observe the brute's face.

"I love you," Shizuo said again, looking at the smaller man directly.

"Of course you do… You're tied to me. Now sleep."

"Do…you think you can ever…love me too?"

"Shhh…" Izaya hushed, his eyes closed again.

Shizuo stared at the roof again, feeling the raven's body slacken against him. His breathing was even and his head rolled over. Mocha eyes watched his sleeping face, blinking tears away before he resumed to angrily glare at the ceiling. If this was karma…

Then karma truly was a bitch.

"I'm…the one who's sorry…"

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Short, chapter is short. I'm working on my comic book tonight, and I think I'll add another chapter to my other fiction. Plus, I may draw a Tsukioppi picture! Ah, I've never done one! Excitement! <em>

_ Psyche: So…Am I going to have any more lines? I feel underappreciated as a character…_

_ Sachi: Psyche, dear…You will have your moment in the sun. Patience is a virtue! _

_ Psyche: I didn't know patience could have sex to begin with…_

_ Sachi:…_

_ Tsugaru: Virtue, Psyche. Not virgin._

_ Sachi: *hits self*_

_(Reviews are loved as always~!)_


	37. Delusional

_Ah, another difficult chapter. These are hard to write when I love Izaya so. But I guess technically it's harder for Shizuo than it is anyone else, for he also loves Izaya so. Well, time to depress my fellow blond~! (I added smut to reward all of you for bearing with the sadness.) On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>Delusions<strong>

Shizuo looked over at the man in the swivel chair. Izaya was humming again. He had been since he woke up. He was typing on the computer, which would've been fine if it was turned on. The screen was black. Shizuo wasn't sure if Izaya actually thought the screen said something or if he was just being silly. He found that he didn't dare ask, because he didn't want to hear the probable answer.

The typing stopped as the raven's song came to an end. He absently starting spinning in his chair, gradually picking up speed as he went. Then the laughter started. The hollow sound of someone who really didn't want to laugh; someone you could see through. The blond was on the couch, watching the scene sadly.

"Ne, Shizu-chan~. Don't you have work? Can't keep Tom waiting, can we? Go beat people up all day and you'll feel better," Izaya said as the chair stopped. Shizuo watched as he stood up and stumbled a little from dizziness.

"I called and said I couldn't come in today. Or tomorrow. Or any day until I can leave you here alone," Shizuo informed him.

Izaya stopped by the edge of his desk, his face thoughtful.

"Yes... I suppose that is best. You can help me, if you like."

Shizuo glanced up at him as he moved in front of the couch.

"What do you need help with?"

"I need help filing things. Namie hasn't been here in so long. I guess she quit. Shiki will wring my neck if I don't gather his information," Izaya sighed, moving forward to straddle Shizuo's lap.

"Flea...you sent her on leave because Shiki sent _you_ on leave...remember?"

Carmine eyes looked down at him suspiciously.

"Yes, I know that Namie is on leave because I'm on forced vacation. Why do you bring that up all of a sudden?"

"Because you- Nothing. No reason. It just popped in my mind..."

Izaya laughed again, the hollow sound filling the room.

"Oh, Shizu-chan, you're too much sometimes. You just blurt whatever comes to your mind... Truly a protozoan..." His eyes glassed over again, his face furrowed with concentration. "That...is what I call you, ne? A protozoan? I can't...remember..."

The raven's head slumped on Shizuo's shoulder, his breathing ragged.

"I-Izaya? What is it?"

"I had a file on you... Why I called you the names I did. I think Namie destroyed them... She destroyed my names for you! Now I can't call you anything!"

The blond tensed, realizing the man was suffering from a psychotic episode. He froze, his veins turning icy. What could he do?

"Shh. You call me 'Shizu-chan'. Just call me that," he muttered softly.

"You hate that name. You hate it like you hate _me_." Izaya hissed, raising his head to glare at the taller man.

"No. I did hate it. But I love it now. Like I love you. I need you to-"

"Stop lying! You're patronizing me! I can see it in your face! You think I'm crazy? Unwell? _Delusional?! _I know what you're trying to do...You're making a fool of me! So you can tell everyone that you finally beat me at something!" The smaller man was thrashing as he spoke, trying to remove himself from the blond's lap.

"No I'm not. I don't think any of those things. I just need you to relax... I need you to _breathe_... Okay? Just please...come back..."

"Come back? Is that all you have to say? I'm right here, you waste of space! You damn neanderthal! Cro Magnon! Caveman! Brute!"

Shizuo bit his lip as the raven's fist collided with his cheek. He held on to the other as the thrashing continued. The brute felt himself hit a few more times before Izaya finally wore himself out.

"I'm not crazy... I'm not... I'm not...Not, not, not, not..." he was whimpering into Shizuo's shoulder.

"No, you just suffer from the ability to create personalities that take over your body every now and then," Roppi said calmly from beside the couch.

"Go away, Roppi. I'm with Shizu-chan," Izaya hissed, turning his head to look at the other raven.

"Looks to me like you're beating him up."

The informant blanched, looking down at the blond. He did look like he had been in a fight. Why wouldn't he have fought back? This was _Shizuo. _No one fought him. Then he realized what had happened.

"Oh, Shizu-chan... I'm sorry..."

Shizuo placed his hands on either side of the smaller man's head, looking into his cloudy eyes.

"Don't start that apologizing shit again please... I can't take it." he whispered.

"Iza-chan... Why are you acting this way?" Psyche asked from beside them.

"Because he's losing it," Hibiya said from the counter.

"I'm not losing it... Everything is fine," Izaya said quietly. He pulled Shizuo closer.

"Yeah, you're perfectly sane. Like the crazy guy in _Psycho_ that hacked women up while they showered," Roppi hissed.

"Uwah! That's just a movie right? Too scary!" Psyche whimpered.

"No. It's based loosely on actual events," Roppi replied.

"Shut up..." Izaya pleaded.

"Izaya..." Shizuo said.

"No one hacks people up in the shower, plebeian! It's just a movie!" Hibiya said from his space at the counter.

"It's based on a true story..." Izaya sighed, giving in to the delusion as he interacted with them.

"No! Too scary! I need to never hear things like this or I can't sleep!" Psyche wailed from the other end of the couch.

"See, he was based on an American serial killer, Ed Geinn, who killed women and skinned them to make a suit from their skins. The part_ Psycho_ was based on was-" Roppi was explaining.

"No! No! NOOO! I can't hear this, La, la, la, la, la!" Psyche sang, covering his ears childishly. Izaya laughed in spite of himself as Roppi talked over the whimpering raven.

"WAS BASED ON HOW ED EMBALMED HIS DEAD MOTHER SO THEY COULD ALWAYS BE TOGETHER."

"Disgusting! I demand we discuss something else!" Hibiya shouted.

"Tell them about Jeffery Dahmer," Izaya said from his place in the brute's lap.

"Oh, yes. He actually injected acid into his victim's brains so they were still alive but unable to move when he raped them," Roppi grinned.

"Why do you know these horrible things?" Psyche wailed.

"And then he would cut them up and place their bodies in acid to destroy them. The parts he didn't eat, at least~."

"AHHH! AWFUL! I'm never sleeping again!"

"Commoners, shut the hell up!"

"Haha! Tell them about-" Izaya began, but was interrupted.

"Flea! Izaya, please! Please!" Shizuo shouted as he shook the smaller man's shoulders. His mocha eyes were wide and...afraid?

"Shizu-chan, we're just stating facts. These men are all dead and gone now, there's no need to fear them."

"No... No that's not...Izaya..._please_..." the blond pleaded, burying his face in the raven's chest.

"Shizu-chan?"

And the alternates vanished, the clouds went away from his eyes. It was just him and Shizuo, alone on the couch.

"Shhh, Shizuo... It's alright."

"Don't fucking tell me it's alright! It's not alright! You're not _alright! _None of this is acceptable! I...I can't...I can't..." The blond snarled, his hands running over every inch of Izaya he could reach.

"Can't what?"

"I...I don't know...how to help you. How to make them leave you alone, I can't..."

Izaya placed his fingers under the blond's chin, lifting his face to look into chocolate orbs filled with pain.

"I know. It's okay. I know how you can help me," he purred, standing to quickly make his way to the bathroom, brandishing the tiny bottle of lotion as he emerged.

"Not now... Not right now, flea. I just..."

Izaya licked his lips, forcing his tongue inside as the blond tried to argue. Shizuo's head fell against the cushions, his mouth continuously assaulted by the man on top of him.

"Iz-Izaya... Stop..." he growled.

"Ne, Shizu-chan... Don't deny that you want this..." Izaya said, lowering his hand to rub the front of Shizuo's pants.

"S-Shit..." Shizuo hissed, bucking up into that sinful hand unconsciously.

"Mmm, you're getting hard." Izaya leaned forward, voicing a breathy moan into his ear. "I can't wait to have you inside me again..."

"Izaya...fuck..."

"Thought you'd never ask." The informant grinned deviously as his hands unbuttoned the taller man's pants. He yanked the material down as he palmed the man's arousal through the thin boxers he wore.

In spite of himself, Shizuo brought his hands to the raven's hips, holding on and no longer trying to fight as the pleasure coursed through him.

"Hah...Izaya..."

"Heh... I know, I know. I'll stop teasing you now," Izaya said as he moved his hands to the front of his own dark pants, pulling them and his boxers down with one sweep.

"Nnn, see what you're doing to me, Shizu-chan? Your moans are so sexy," he purred as he captured the blond's lips in a fierce kiss.

It was the only way... The only other time his alternates were 100% quiet. Only when he was joined with Shizuo... Only when they were one... When they were _complete_.

"Izaya! Izaya, stop!" Shizuo said from below him as his own boxers were fully removed. Izaya was hovering over him, coating Shizuo's erection in lotion while trying to lower himself down. "You aren't even prepared! You'll hurt yourse-"

"Don't care... Don't fucking care... Need this... Need to be _whole_..."

And Izaya slammed down with harsh finality, cutting off any further protests. He couldn't explain. He _needed_ this. When they were apart, he wasn't himself. He couldn't think. But this way- this way they were together, _really_ together...

Even if it couldn't last. Izaya couldn't keep it. He never could.

He fell against Shizuo as he reached his orgasm, his trembling body only held down by Shizuo's strong arms. He breathed in their conjoined sweat, listening to Shizuo panting in his ear. All of it was the bitter perfection of the moment. Izaya wouldn't change a thing.

"You...could've...hurt yourself..." Shizuo hissed between pants.

"Didn't hurt... Felt amazing. I love when you're inside me..."

"Izaya..."

"You love it too, ne? Or am I not good enough now that I'm broken?"

"Izaya! You're not broken, dammit! Not yet!"

The raven lifted himself off of the man's hips, Shizuo sliding out slowly. Izaya moaned at the feeling, his body still hypersensitive from his orgasm.

"You know...that I fucking love...making love to you..." Shizuo murmured.

"Of course. I love it, too..." Izaya said, kissing him again.

"Um...next time, warn us before you go at it..." Roppi mumbled from his place beside the couch.

"So romantic! I miss Tsu-chan!" Psyche whimpered from beside them.

"I could've gone my whole life without seeing such a vulgar display..." Hibiya added.

"Into voyeurism now, are we?" Izaya asked, facing his other personalities.

Shizuo watched him sadly as he rose, arguing with the thin air. The raven walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. The blond heard the water running and knew he was getting a shower.

Izaya was...

_They_ were...

Out of time...

Shizuo placed his face in his hands as he realized just how far this whole thing had gone. Izaya was on that edge. This was it. This was the end.

Would he jump? If he did... Would Shizuo be able to catch him?

The blond couldn't bear to live without Izaya. They were connected, after all.

The door opened and Izaya emerged, clean and still mumbling to himself. He went straight back to his computer and resumed typing on the blank screen. Every now and then he would grow quiet, and his voice became whimpers, pleas for help.

Then the arguing would begin again.

This was it... _This was it_.

This was the climax.

And Shizuo... What would he do now that the time had come? Would he sit back and let the man destroy himself? Would he be able to observe as his love lost his mind any longer? No. He couldn't do this anymore...

Even if Izaya hated him forever, even if he never understood why...

Izaya was his responsibility. They had made a promise. They had joined little fingers and pledged to help each other to the end. And Shizuo was a man of his word.

Shizuo trusted the red string of fate that was attached to both him and the flea, even if only one of them could truly see it. He picked up his cellphone.

"Shinra... Yeah, I need you to come to Izaya's apartment. It's an emergency."

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: Dun dun DUNNN! We're getting close to the end, people! I believe we have three more chapters to go, four at the most. Ah, I'll be so sad…My first fanfiction, ending…It's been an amazing time though! So stick with me till the end~! By the way, I'm currently a criminal justice major, so serial killers fascinate me. (In case you were wondering why I knew these things about them.) Everything I said was true! So I broadened your horizons while you read. And who said fanfictions were a waste of time? :D<em>

_Izaya: Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen?_

_Sachi: No reason~! _

_Shizuo: Well, at least I got laid again._

_Izaya: Technically, I fucked myself with your anatomy. It's not like you did much work._

_Shizuo: Izzaaaayyaaaaaaaaaaa…_

_Sachi: If you wanna see what happens next-_

_Izaya: You will __**review~!**_


	38. Snapped

_Awww, you guys! I know it's sad that it's ending soon! I'll have a really hard time ending it myself. __anon__, "Best story I ever read." :O Holy mother of frick! That's like a mega compliment! I don't even...Just wow. I wish you had an account and a user name so I could send you an uber-happy PM, but I hope you accept this love in the A/N instead. RaiRaiBlue, sorry! I hope your final went well! FallingforWerewolves, I know what you mean…Also, __PokePyro__,__ you think it's good enough to be a book? I thought about maybe making my own comic book with my own characters in the same scenario...Glad to know someone would read it! Since your review was so deliciously gangsta, I feel I should return the favor by being thug nasty. Hence: Gir, what chu say? You got yo own style, yo! You's be pimpin'! Dear Lord, I'm so lame. I'd attend therapy with Izaya too, but only if I get the same treatment as Shizuo!_

_Shizuo: EH?_

_Sachi: N-Nothing! On with the story! *ducks*_

* * *

><p><strong>Snapped<strong>

Shinra walked into the apartment with a quizzical stare glued to his face. He had seen Izaya acting strange lately, and the wild behavior at his party had frightened him. But to hear Shizuo's terrified voice over the phone... That had scared him shitless. Shizuo never showed such emotion. Ever.

When he stepped into the large apartment, he first noticed Izaya at his computer. He was spinning in his chair and mumbling non-stop. Shinra looked to see if he was talking to Shizuo.

The blond was at the counter, his face in his hands. He looked up when he heard the door close.

"Shizuo, what's the problem?" Shinra asked, his eyes glued to the raven.

"I think you can see it." Shizuo sighed, looking over too.

Izaya was still spinning. He hadn't even looked up when Shinra walked in. He didn't seem to notice. He didn't notice Shizuo either. He was just...gone.

"Izaya! Izaya, I'm in your apartment! It's polite to greet your guests!" the doctor wailed dramatically, trying to provoke him.

He didn't look up. Instead, he stopped and looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, Psyche! I don't want to hear about your damn obsession with the color pink!" he growled.

There was a drawn out moment. Shizuo shook his head and ran his hands under his eyes briefly, before he looked over to Shinra, whose jaw was almost on the floor.

"What... Who's Psyche?"

"I-It's a long story... I guess you need to know it though..." The blond motioned to the sectional sofa before he led the brunet over to it.

"Basically, every personality I had...Izaya made one to match it..." he said quietly.

Shinra cocked his head to the side, his face impassive.

"He... Made one? I don't understand..."

"It was my therapy... He split himself up. For Tsugaru, he invented Psyche. For Delic, he invented Hibiya. And for Tsuki...he made Roppi."

"Izaya split himself up? But...that's impossible! That's not even heard of! I don't-"

"Look at him! Fucking look at him, Shinra! He's not faking this! He's given up his sanity for me! I-I can't bear this anymore!" Shizuo shouted.

The spectacled man looked over to the raven, who was now nowhere to be seen. At closer inspection, he realized Izaya had slid to the floor under his desk.

"Please... Please just be quiet... Please..." his voice whimpered pathetically.

That was _not_ Izaya's voice...

"I know he's not faking... Izaya has always been so in tune with psychology... I suppose with his level of intelligence, it's more than possible that he achieved in splitting himself up. I just don't understand_ why_ he did it." Shinra said quietly, his heart aching from the level of despair in the room.

"He did it for me. Everything. He did it for me..."

"Shizuo... This isn't your fault. Izaya did this to himself."

"Then why do I feel this way? I only want him the way he was. I don't fucking care if he trolls people out of existence! I don't care if he deals with the Yakuza! I don't care if he sets me up and gets me arrested a thousand more times! I'll chase him around again and let him escape! I'll let him cut me! I'll- FUCK! Just...fix him!" Shizuo pleaded.

Shinra watched the blond crumple into himself, his head fading behind his hands and his voice breaking off. This wasn't Shizuo. No one was who they were supposed to be.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Izaya suddenly yelled from his hiding place. There was a slight shuffling noise and he emerged from the other side, holding his fingers to his temples. He walked to his room and disappeared again.

"Shizuo… I think you already know he's not going to accept help so easily. This is _Izaya_ we're talking about. I can't do anything without his consent," Shinra said apologetically.

"I know that! I just- I don't know… Just try! _Try._"

"You… You're in love with Izaya…" It wasn't a question, but the blond nodded in response anyway.

"That's why…I need you to try."

The doctor removed his glasses and pulled a rag out of his coat. Wiping them off, he looked back up at the troubled man and shook his head sadly.

"You know I can't. I'm not even a certified therapist. Unless he gives me permission, I can't do anything at all."

"That's BULLSHIT!" Shizuo roared. "You can! You _have_ to! We don't have any other options- He's out of time!"

"You have another option! A real therapist! Someone with the license and the experience! I don't know what to do except prescribe him medication, and you and I both know he wouldn't take it! The bag of vitamins I gave you is still on the counter and it looks like it hasn't even been touched! He's too stubborn to accept help unless he's forced to! I can't do anything for him!" Shinra retorted.

"I can't take him to anyone else! They'll lock him up! They'll take him away from me!"

"Maybe that's what he needs!"

"I'M WHAT HE NEEDS!" Shizuo screamed, standing up from the couch, his fists clenched.

"It seems to me that you're the one who needs _him_!"

The blond's stature slackened in defeat. He looked at the doctor with his eyes full of pain.

"I do need him. He cured me! He's been there for me this whole fucking time… Please, Shinra…We just need to try…" he said miserably.

Shinra sighed, nodding in defeat.

"If I make it worse, you have no one to blame but yourself."

"You can't make it any worse. He's already having a hard time coming back to reality when he slips."

"Slips? Shizuo, we need to start from the beginning if we're going to do this. Tell me everything that happened since he first decided to help you."

* * *

><p>"Do you think Tsu-chan is happy wherever he is?" Psyche asked dreamily from his space on the bed. He was lying beside Hibiya, who was leaning against the headboard.<p>

"I don't know. Delic told me he was fading. I guess that means they all just went back to where they came from," Hibiya replied, looking up toward the ceiling.

"Tsuki said pretty much the same thing. They're part of Shizuo now," Roppi said in a bored voice. He was sitting at the edge of the bed at the other alternates feet.

"Part of Shizu-Shizu? So what Iza-chan said about them still being alive…" Psyche said in a hopeful voice.

"Yeah, I think they're still very much alive. Just…in a different way now," Roppi told him.

"Ooooh, yay~! I wonder if that means we can ever see them again!" Psyche said happily.

"Don't be ridiculous. You see them whenever you look at Heiwajima," Hibiya hissed.

"B-But… I can't kiss Shizu-Shizu… This isn't fair!" Psyche wailed.

"No. Life's not fair. It's not just you, it's all of us. If prissy over here would get help, we could fade with them," Roppi sighed, pointing to the last raven.

The alternates looked down, the threads on their fingers leading to the informant. He was lying in the floor, facedown.

"Iza-chan… Are you alright?" Psyche asked gently.

"Define 'alright'," Izaya mumbled.

"Orihara, you have no reason to be so sullen about things. This is what you wanted. You summoned us to help Heiwajima, and we did," Hibiya informed him.

"That's all I ever wanted…" Izaya replied, his voice muffled from the floor.

"T-Then you should be happy… He's all better!" Psyche said with false cheer in his voice.

"I thought I was stronger than this. I can't even make you shut up anymore. I can't open my eyes and know reality from fraud. I can't even hear my own voice anymore. I just… Who the hell am I? Izaya doesn't exist. He never did…" Izaya whimpered.

The other personalities all exchanged an alarmed look. Red, gold, and pink eyes wide.

"Izaya… Don't talk like that. You're just a little mixed up right now. You're still the same…" Roppi tried to be comforting.

"How do we know…that you aren't the real ones? Maybe you summoned me? Maybe my entire existence is a dream. One big fucked up nightmare."

"Of course you're the original! Stop being like this! Succumbing to depression is beneath you!" Hibiya snapped.

"Is it really? I don't even remember…what I used to be like…"

"Iza-chan…you're scaring me… Go get Shizu-Shizu…" Psyche pleaded.

"Shizu-chan is the punch line to this awful joke isn't he? The irony of my discontent? The cherry on my fucked up sundae?" Izaya mumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Roppi asked incredulously.

"The one time I did a nice thing in my life, and it ends like this… I used to love irony. Didn't I? I caused it… I created it for others. Here I am, reduced to this…" A hollow laugh escaped him as he sat up.

"Iza-chan…"

Izaya reached under his bed and pulled out the briefcase filled with all their notes on the brute and his alternates. Opening them one by one, he began pulling out every page that had been written on.

"What the hell? Izaya! Why did you have us write those if you were just going to tear them up?" Roppi snarled.

"I'm erasing. Erase, erase, erase… This way, Shizu-chan can forget…"

"Forget…? Orihara…" Hibiya's golden eyes were panicked.

"Y-You're…giving up? Iza-chan, we need you!" Psyche wailed loudly.

"No one needs me. I used to be a god, you know. I could stand above anyone. Now I find myself below the feet of those I used to condescend to… I can't bear it. I can't do this," Izaya said bitterly, tearing the pages to shreds in anger.

"So, you're just going to kill yourself?" Roppi asked quietly.

"I'm going to disappear."

"Shizuo loves you! He fucking _loves_ you! Why are you acting this way? You're so selfish! You never think about anyone but-" Roppi was cut off.

"Shut up! I _am_ thinking of everyone! What use is a broken god? A former glory to the world of man? A fallen angel is nothing but a fucking demon! I can't be here if I am imperfect! Stop lecturing me like I'm the only selfish one here! You only want me to stay so you can see your stupid lovers again!" Izaya shouted.

"That's not even the point here, Izaya! You need to get help! Stop being so-"

"I'M NOT BEING ANYTHING! JUST KEEP YOUR WORDS TO YOURSELF!"

"Stop yelling! Stop, please! Iza-chan, we're only trying to help! We love you too!" Psyche sobbed, his pink eyes filled with moisture.

"Love is a fucking useless emotion. It makes you do things that lead to your downfall. I only want to leave this place. Since you're tied to me, you're coming too," Izaya said simply.

"Heiwajima is tied to you, too," Hibiya pointed out.

"Shizu-chan will find someone else to be tied to. He's a beautiful creature. He can adapt."

"It's not that easy, imbecile! Heiwajima is in love with you!"

"All the more reason to leave! If you don't want to come… I'll just snap these threads!" Izaya yelled viciously, scratching at his fingers.

"Stop that! All you're doing is hurting yourself!" Roppi chastised, rising to try and pull the original raven's hands apart.

"That's the idea! I'll tear these hands to shreds! FUCKING SHREDS! Then you'll finally shut up! I can disappear… Shizu-chan can move on. If only they'd cut!"

Izaya's hand was a bleeding mess as he ripped at them mercilessly.

"Stop, Iza-chan!"

"Orihara!"

"Izaya!"

A new voice added in.

"IZAYA!"

Shizuo ran to him, yanking his hands apart and holding him down.

"Stop! What the fuck are you doing?"

"I NEED TO DO THIS! Leave me alone! If you ever loved me at all you'd leave me alone!" Izaya was thrashing in his grasp, flailing his limbs in an escape attempt.

"Shinra- Fucking help me!" Shizuo shouted to the spectacled man in the doorway. Shinra was watching with wide eyes as he gave a curt nod, reaching for the needle.

"NO! NOOO! I'm not crazy! Just let me go and you'll never see me again! PLEASE! Shizu-chan!"

"This isn't about that! I need you to get better, Izaya! I_ do_ love you! That's why I'm doing this!" Shizuo yelled over him.

"Izaya, you need medical attention… At least let me look at your hand…" Shinra whispered.

"Then put the damn needle away!"

The doctor placed it back in his pocket and raised his hands innocently.

"Easy… I'm just going to bandage your hands…"

Carmine eyes clouded over again as the informant looked up, gazing absently at Shinra. Shizuo climbed off of him, helping him sit up.

"I love you…" he whispered quietly, knowing the man didn't hear him.

Shinra knelt in front of them, looking over the wounds carefully.

"Wow… You did a real number on yourself… I need to clean these."

Izaya was only noticing the threads. The threads. The fucking THREADS. Still there, plain as day. Looking up, he saw his alternates standing behind Shizuo. They were watching him. Always watching him. GOLD, PINK, RED. Always. Mixed with Shizuo's own coffee eyes and now the spectacled gaze of Shinra.

More and more subjects were seeing him lose it. Unacceptable. Then…he noticed…

The thread on his thumb… The clear thread that was frazzled… It was hanging on only by a sliver of string. Barely there at all. He frowned, cocking his head to the side as he observed it. The others were so bright. Why was this one… Why…

Looking up, he saw the man with glasses say something to the blond. They both looked scared, the smaller of the two even more so. The blond told him something, and the man in the white coat reached in his pocket again.

Izaya knew what that gleaming was.

"NO! GET AWAY!" Izaya screamed in pure terror, scrambling to his feet and bolting. He pushed the doctor and did all he could think to do. He ran.

There were voices calling him, real or imaginary, he didn't know. He didn't look back. He was in the black streets, the lights up above his head. The rain had returned. The streets were filled with it.

"Izaya! This is crazy! You're in no shape to be running away like this!" Roppi didn't understand that this was necessary. No one ever did.

This was the only SANE thing left to do.

"Iza-chan! Go back! They can help you!" Psyche's voice was broken due to his sobs.

No. Never again. This was all there was. This was all there needed to be. Blackness and them. They were part of the scenery now. Never to be noticed. Never to stand out. Not anymore, not anymore, not...

Vaguely, he knew they were in a city. He just couldn't remember what it was called. People were everywhere. Only…they didn't interest him now. They looked at him with scrutinizing eyes. Their speech made no sense. None. NONE.

"Izaya!"

"Orihara!"

"Iza-chan!"

The alternates continued to verbally abuse him. Their voices filled his mind. His own was fading. Fading like the string. The thread. The clear thread…tied to his chest. FADED.

"Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya!"

Over and over. That wasn't his name anymore… That person didn't exist. He couldn't…

He never did!

"IZAYA! ORIHARA! IZA-CHAN! IZAYA! IZAYA! IZAYA! IZAYA! IAZYA! IZAYA! IZAYA! IZAYA!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" The informant sank to his knees in the sea of people. He felt hands on him, but couldn't register what they were trying to do.

Clawing, scratching, biting, ripping, tearing.

He'd do what he had to in order to get away. He only wanted peace. He wanted to disappear…

These people would never let him… All of them were trying to help him… They were all condescending to him, making him feel worse. They were getting back at him. Physically, he'd never get to escape… Never…

But mentally, he could….

He looked at the clear, frazzled thread. So feeble…

He placed his thumb near his mouth, gnawing at it. Immediately, his alternates caused an uproar. They pried at him ruthlessly. He continued to scrape his teeth across the thread. Then-

_Snap!_

Everything went dark.

Finally…peace…

_Peace_…

.

.

.

All alone, in a sea of nameless faces, Izaya Orihara had finally snapped.

* * *

><p><em>Sachi: I don't even…I mean…This chapter is the product of a stressful week and…I've been depressed so I just poured it all out and…THIS happened. I actually teared up while I was typing it…I'm so sorry! It just…had to go down like that…<em>

_ Izaya …_

_ Shizuo …_

_ Sachi: For once, there will be silence in the postscript…We all need to recover. Please review! They are the beacon in the dark that has been my week._


	39. Discretion

_You guys are so sweet! Many reviews I got told me to cheer up and get better, haha. Thank you so much for all the support! Truth be told, my depressed state has helped me write these chapters...so I think I'll just keep the funk I'm in till I finish. It'll be Gucci. Kauri-chan, you ARE my bacon in the dark! And I thank you, Now, on with the story~!_

* * *

><p><strong>Discretion<strong>

Shizuo lit another cigarette. He had gone through half his pack in a just an hour. Izaya was missing. He had ran out of the apartment in a psychotic state and they had no idea where he was.

Shinra had sent Celty to find him.

"If anyone can find him in time, it's my Celty," he had said.

Shizuo and the doctor were waiting in Izaya's abandoned apartment for the raven to return. The blond was chain smoking and pacing by the large window behind the computer desk.

How had he messed up so bad? Letting Izaya run past him was the worst possible thing he could've done. Like always though, Shizuo the monster messed things up. Grinding out his latest tobacco victim, he ripped at his hair in agitation.

"Stop that. It's going to be-" Shinra started.

"Don't tell me it's going to be alright. Just don't. I'll believe that when he gets back."

"Shizuo, this is Izaya we're talking about. He'll be fine."

"You haven't seen him these past few weeks. If you think what you just witnessed was a rare event, you should try living with him. This is an everyday thing now. I just... I messed up this time..." Shizuo's voice was plagued with guilt.

They lapsed into silence as the rain assaulted the windows. The steady droplets of water were cleansing the city and the air. Wherever Izaya was, Shizuo hoped he was safe and warm. He hoped he had come to his senses and was on the way home. He hoped he was just...alive.

Shinra's cell phone rang from behind them. Shizuo jumped up and went to the young doctor's side as he read the message from Celty.

_[Found him. This isn't good.]_

Frowning, the blond watched the reply being typed.

_[What do you mean by not good? What's wrong with him?]_

The phone rang again in record speed.

_[You'll see. I'm almost there.]_

"What... That's not..." Shizuo couldn't form a logical sentence. His world had shifted violently on its axis, away from the sun. He felt cold and lonely.

A few minutes passed in an unbearable silence. The brute paced the floors again ad the doctor sat on the couch going through a psychology book. They looked up when the door opened.

Celty was holding a still form in her shadows. Gently, she placed the sopping wet black mass on the couch. Shizuo ran to Izaya's side...but wished he hadn't.

Izaya's eyes were open, but he wasn't blinking. His red eyes were blank, unfocused on anything. His dark hair stuck to him as closely as his clothes were glued to his body from the rain. The raven looked like a mannequin.

"What's wrong with him?" Shizuo panicked. No one answered him. Turning, he saw Shinra's face.

"Shinra? What's wrong with him?"

The brunet blinked and tried to send him a gentle smile.

"I need to do some tests... Celty, would you be kind enough to help me get Izaya to our place? I have all my equipment there."

Nodding, the Dullahan lifted the informant again. His expression remained blank and unseeing. Shizuo's eyes were glued to the lifeless face.

"I'm coming, too," he informed the couple.

"I knew you would. Get some clothes for both of you. We're going to be busy for awhile."

Doing as he was told, Shizuo allowed the pair to go on ahead and take Izaya to their apartment. He ran to his own place to get clean clothes. He was carrying two bags, one for him and one for Izaya. Hustling as fast as he could, he arrived at Shinra's.

Celty was on the couch, her helmet off. Her shadows were wispy in the air again as her form turned to observe Shizuo. Rising off the couch, she moved to stand in front of him.

"Celty, how is he? Is everything alri-"

The Dullahan wrapped her arms around him tightly and pulled him against her.

"C-Celty?" he gasped as her hold tightened. Her body was shaking.

His long arms wrapped around her in return as he let her try to comfort him. The weight of it all suddenly fell on him as the ever-loving woman embraced him. Losing Izaya...again and again. His head fell against her shoulder.

"I love him." he told her.

Her gloved hands rubbed into his back as she resumed comforting him. Sighing, he pulled away.

"I need...you to tell me where you found him... How he was..." he muttered. She pulled out her PDA.

_[He was on a crosswalk in Ikebukuro, lying on the ground face down in a puddle.]_

"Ikebukuro? And no one tried to help him?" Shizuo asked incredulously.

_[They were. I pulled up in time to see him scratch and bite a few people. By the time I got through the crowd he was just lying there, looking the same way you just saw him.]_

The blond ran his hands through his wet hair and drew in a shaky breath. He made his way to Shinra's guest bedroom.

Izaya was lying on the bed, hooked to various machines. His blank stare was gone, covered by his eyelids. He appeared to be asleep. Shinra was standing over him, writing a few things down on a chart.

"He's not doing too good, Shizuo," he told the brute without even looking up.

"I see that... Did he catch a cold in the storm?" Shizuo asked, going to stand beside the raven. He took one of the pale hands in his own.

It was freezing.

"No. I wish that was it. Izaya...suffered a mental breakdown."

The force of those words were slow in sinking in. Shizuo looked up at Shinra, his face smooth. The doctor's eyes were pained behind his glasses, a few strands of moisture leaking from them.

"What...does that mean?" Shizuo asked quietly.

"It means I can't do anything else to help him. No one can. Izaya is gone."

Shizuo's knees felt weak. He managed to prop himself up by leaning on the bed. Izaya shifted toward the edge at the added weight, but didn't stir.

"No... He's alright... He's- alive!"

Shinra wiped more tears away at his terrified words. This was truly too much.

"Shizuo, he_ is_ alive. But he isn't himself anymore. Izaya is in a sort of...coma. Whether or not he comes out of it is up to him...but the chances aren't good."

"That doesn't matter! He's Izaya Orihara! None of those statistics matter! As long as there's even a slight chance that he can make it...he will! He wouldn't leave!"

The doctor placed his hands on the blond's shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Just sit here and talk to him... It may help... There's nothing else we can do but wait."

* * *

><p>Darkness.<p>

Quiet.

Loneliness.

Who was he? _Where_ was he?

Did it even matter?

Of course not. Nothing mattered anymore. He knew that much, even if he didn't know anything else.

He felt weightless. His whole physical being felt like it didn't weigh anything. He was floating in the endless void. His hand still displayed the threads...all except for one.

There were three men with him, staring at him. He didn't know who they were.

"Iza-chan... Iza-chan..." one of them whimpered. He had pink eyes and a pink thread tied to him. He started forward, but was pulled back by one of the other ravens.

"Izaya... Can you hear me?" The one with red eyes asked.

Izaya? Who was that? Why were they all looking at him? Was _he_ Izaya? He stared at them, not sure what to say.

"Orihara...Just nod if you can at least hear us..." The golden man said quietly.

They all spoke like they were talking to a wounded animal. Absently, he nodded. After all, he _could_ hear them. He just didn't know what they wanted.

In all the time they had been in this dark place, there was a deep murmur in the background. It was unintelligible ramblings. He himself couldn't understand a word of the drabble, but the pink man would sob whenever the deep muttering continued. In all that time...they hadn't spoken to him. But now they were.

"Good, good. So you can understand us... Do you know who you are?" The red one asked again.

He shook his head.

"You're Izaya Orihara. Remember? You created us... This is your mind."

Izaya Orihara? Seemed familiar... It was an original name. But was it _his _name?

"Iza-chan...please..." The pink one was blubbering again. The gold one put a hand on the white coat in comfort, and allowed the man to cry on him.

"Izaya, you drove yourself mad. This is the limbo you put yourself in," the red one informed him.

Limbo? Was that a place? Well, limbo was dark. And that infernal rumbling in the background was obnoxious.

"But it's not too late for you yet. Look." He pointed to something.

Looking down, there was a clear sliver on his thumb. Horribly close to snapping in half, but still intact. The other threads were bright and thick. The red one was glowing.

"What...is this?" his voice was raspy.

"That's the last bit of your sanity. As weak as it is, at least it's still there. You've been given another chance."

A chance for what? To leave this awful place? But...what was out there?

"Iza-chan... You need to listen to Shizu-Shizu. He's been talking to you for days..." The pink one whined, pointing up.

Is that what that deep rumbling was? Someone out there talking to him? Why couldn't he understand what the voice was saying?

"Can't understand..." he sighed, tugging at his hair.

"That's because you're not listening. You never listen. The one talking to you is named Shizuo Heiwajima. He loves you," the red one hissed.

"Shizu..." That name...didn't seem right. It needed to be shortened. "Shizu-chan..."

"Yes! That's it! Shizuo! And you're Izaya!"

Izaya...Izaya...Izaya...

If he kept repeating it...he could keep being Izaya.

"I'm...Izaya..." he croaked out.

The other ravens nodded at him and gave him encouraging smiles as he released his hair.

"Do you know who _we_ are?" The golden one asked.

Gold, red, pink... He knew them from somewhere. They had names, just as he had a name. Izaya...Izaya Orihara...

His eyes widened.

"Hibiya... You're Hibiya..." he told the golden man. "Hac-Hachimenroppi..." The red one nodded.

And then...

"Psyche..." The pink male choked out a sob and ran forward to grab him around the neck.

"Iza-chan! Iza-chaaaaaan! Don't leave again! I love yoooooouuuuu!" he wailed.

"Would you control yourself? No wonder he wants to forget all of us!" Hibiya snarled, snatching Psyche backwards.

"But I _do_ love him! And I love you two, tooooo! And Tsu-chan!"

Roppi sighed and placed his hands on Izaya's face.

"He's right. We _do_ love you. We need you to snap out of this mess you've done to yourself."

"What if...I can't?"

"Stop doubting yourself so much. Shut up for once and _listen_."

The rumbling ahead continued...but...it was different.

_"Izaya... Please wake up... You can't leave me like this... Damn flea...damn..." _The voice broke off at the end in a choked noise, then resumed. _"I chased you everywhere, fucking everywhere... Why can't you let me follow you again? Don't go so far away that...you can't hear my voice..."_

But he _could _hear the voice. He'd been hearing it non-stop for ages. Longer than he'd been in here...Longer than- High school. Uniforms. Knives. Monsters. Shinra. Celty. Kadota. Information broker. Shinjuku. Ikebukuro. The slasher. Secret. Tsugaru. Delic. Tsuki. Promise. Therapy. Falling. _Love_...

Shizuo Heiwajima.

Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan. Shizu-chan. Fucking _Shizu-chan! _

"Shizu-chan! I hear you! I hear you!" Izaya called to the voice. His alternates looked at him approvingly.

"You can go out there with him. All you have to do is get better. Forget us," Roppi said.

"I- I can't just do that... What about you guys? What about your...lovers...?"

"Stupid... As long as you're together with Shizuo, we'll be together with them too. Tsuki promised me that. He wouldn't lie to me."

"I can't go out there and face them all again... They can't see me as imperfect as I've become..." Izaya whimpered.

"Iza-chan, you're perfectly fine... You just have to _try_," Psyche said gently.

"I can't... I can't..."

There was a bitter laugh from above him.

"Izaya... We're not giving you a choice. Tell Shizuo goodbye for us," Roppi said.

The red thread on his finger began tugging. He was going toward the voice, toward the warmth of the unknown. Toward the judgmental outside world full of deceit and lies. Toward Shizuo Heiwajima...

His alternates waved from below as he faded from the darkness.

In the room with the low light and beeping machines, Izaya Orihara opened his bleary carmine eyes.


	40. Truest Form

_Alrighty, __RaiRaiBlue__, sorry for the cliffie! Sometimes they're necessary though! __Kauri-chan__, THANK YOU! You're so sweet! To answer your question, yes I'll be doing other fics! I'm already working on another one. (It's called 'Fix You' and it's a Tsukioppi, just go to my profile) __tsukicchan__, yay, cookies! I love you too! Finally, __xxnERURaiHimexx,__ when you said you hated me I was like: "BUT WHYYYY?" then I read the rest of the review and it made me smile...until I got to the end when you said you would die and haunt me if I didn't update soon... Then I had myself a Tweek Tweak moment and went: "HOLY SHIT DUDE!-nghhhh- THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" *types frantically* On with the story!_

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><p><strong>Truest Form<strong>

Shizuo sat loyally beside the informant for two days straight. Shinra had told him on many occasions to just get some sleep, but how could he? Izaya was...dying... No, worse than that. It was like being in love with a doll. It couldn't return his feelings and didn't respond to any stimulation. Even when Shizuo held his cold hand, there was no warmth of a person in the touch. It was lonely, terribly lonely.

So he did all he could think to do. He talked.

He told the unconscious raven his damn life story. He babbled about irrelevant things. He told secrets. He even tried to boost Izaya's already inflated ego by telling him how beautiful he was.

By the third day, there was no change. His ramblings cut off somewhere around the time his voice grew hoarse. He put his head down on the bed beside Izaya and quietly observed the gentle breathing of his lover.

"Izaya... Please wake up... You can't leave me like this... Damn flea...damn..." he sighed with his face in his hands. He looked up to see Izaya's lips twitch. The first movement he had seen in days.

"I chased you everywhere, fucking everywhere... Why can't you let me follow you again? Don't go so far away that...you can't hear my voice..." Shizuo whispered, holding his hand out to brush against pale skin.

The raven's head seemed to lean into the touch. Mocha eyes widened as the heart monitor sped up.

"Shinra!" he called nervously, but then he remembered... The doctor and Celty had gone out to get groceries.

Izaya's features contorted into a frown as his brows furrowed. The heart monitor was beeping erratically.

"Izaya! C'mon... Wake up, dammit!" Shizuo pleaded, feeling helpless as he held the raven's hand in both of his own.

The beeping slowed down again, back to a steady pace. Shizuo sighed, feeling horribly disappointed, yet slightly relieved at the same time... Then...Izaya opened his eyes.

"Izaya!" Shizuo exclaimed, nearly throwing his body on the bed with the informant. Izaya's gaze stopped him in place.

He still had that defeated look on his face. That "I want to die" face that had been in place for weeks now. He seemed surprisingly alert for someone who just woken up from a three day nap.

"Izaya... Talk to me...please..." The blond said gently, tightening his hold on pale fingers. Red eyes glanced over to him, then back at the ceiling.

So this was how it was going to be.

"Do you have any idea... What it's like to sit here for days worrying about you? The least you can do is fucking talk to me!" Shizuo hissed, his rage boiling. "I thought you were gone! I thought-"

Izaya wrapped his hand around the ones holding his own. His carmine gaze remained on the ceiling, his eyes filled with grief.

"Dammit, flea... I need you to talk to me. I miss your voice..."

How could anyone deny such a plea?

"What...do you want me to say?" Izaya asked bitterly.

"Anything. Just keep talking, please..." Shizuo sighed contentedly as he heard the smooth voice of the informant wash over him. He leaned over and nuzzled against the pale hand he was holding, inhaling deeply.

"You're like a puppy..."

"A puppy that missed his annoying flea."

"A puppy that needs a new master."

"If anything, I'm the master here. And you've been gone too long, so it's only natural that I missed you..." Shizuo defended, kissing Izaya's fingers.

"Why are you still here?" The raven asked sadly. The way this man loved him... Sometimes it was too much.

"What the fuck does that mean? I'm here because I love you."

There it was again. That word. That FUCKING WORD. _Love. _

"Don't say that! Never say that to me again! Never, do you hear me? I hate it! I hate you! Just leave! _Leave! _For once just..." Izaya's voice broke.

Shizuo was watching him sadly, but made no motions to get up. Quite frankly, he didn't care what Izaya wanted right now.

"For once just leave me alone..." The raven whimpered.

"No."

It was a solid word, spat with finality. Izaya narrowed his tear-filled eyes at him.

"No? _No? _Stupid brute, I command you to leave!"

"No. I'm staying. I know you're only acting like this because you don't want me to see you like this. But it's fine. I've seen you worse. I'm staying."

Izaya's eyes widened to the point of looking frantic. He looked like a cat who had been submerged in water for too long. He pulled his lips away from his teeth in a sort of snarl as he glared at Shizuo.

"Why? Why do you insist on this so much? You hate me, Shizuo! You always have! Stop trying to say you love me when we both know you only feel sorry for me! I helped you out and now you think you love me? Ha! You just feel like you owe me something! Stop patronizing me!" Izaya yelled, his heart monitor going haywire again.

"Even if you are still sick, I'll snap your fucking neck if you say that to me again," Shizuo snarled as he released the raven's hand in anger. Izaya looked up at him.

"Stop acting like I don't know what I feel. I never felt sorry for you! I don't love you because I'm obligated to! Believe me, if I could choose who to love, it DAMN sure wouldn't be you!"

"How... How do you know you love me? Explain it, please...Just tell me what it's like..." Izaya said, his voice barely audible.

"You want to know how I know? Fine." Shizuo said gently, picking up the raven's hand again as a sense of calm washed over him.

"Tsugaru told me Psyche laughs weird. But a good weird. He throws his head back and closes his eyes and cackles like a chicken. He cries easily and is obsessed with the color pink. He loves to talk, but he also loves to listen. He plays games just to entertain himself. He's childish and immature."

Izaya glanced up at him warily, but remained silent. What did this have to do with anything?

"Delic said Hibiya put on a good front about being arrogant. Actually, he said Hibiya is the most insecure person he's ever met. Obviously he wants everyone to think of him highly, but whenever he walked into a room his eyes would dart around nervously. He looks at his feet when he talks sometimes. Delic also said that Hibiya loved to make him laugh. He wouldn't mean to do it, most likely, but whenever Delic started laughing, Hibiya would laugh too."

Carmine eyes returned to the ceiling as the ranting continued.

"Tsuki said Roppi was the saddest person he'd ever met. All he wanted to do was hold the suicidal maniac close and never let him go. But Roppi is also kind. He took care of Tsuki and never judged him, which was what Tsuki needed. They were good at caring for each other."

Izaya inhaled deeply, his breath hitching.

"How do I know I love you? Everything they mentioned to me came from watching your alternates so closely. I realized_ I_ knew so much about _you_ that I never knew before... Like how you always arrange your bottled water in perfect rows... You check your phone three times every minute. Your eyes light up whenever someone tells you to track someone. When you _really _laugh, your eyes close. Sometimes you stick your tongue against your bottom lip when you're thinking..."

Izaya wiped his hand under his eyes.

"When you leave your apartment, you check the lock twice. You wear your key ring around your pinky finger like a ring until you get outside, then you put the keys in your front pocket. You skip when you walk. You wear that fucking jacket no matter what temperature it is outside. If it's hot, you just roll the sleeves up. You walk into a room like you own the place, and I used to be so jealous of that... Of your _confidence_..."

Izaya laughed bitterly. That confidence was gone now.

"Your information broking pisses me off. I don't like the people you deal with. I hate the way you mess with people. I hate your god complex. I hate when you give me that goddamn smirk of yours. I hate it when you leave without telling me where you're going. I really hate how sometimes your red eyes creep me out, but most of the time I just find them breathtaking. What I _really_ hate is how even when I'm not thinking of you, I know deep down that I am."

"Shizu-chan..."

"I love you, Izaya Orihara. And I can learn to love your flaws. All I need...is a chance," Shizuo finished.

Izaya was crying. He had been since the start of the speech, but the tears ran freely now. What was the use in hiding them?

"How...can you love me...when I'm so flawed...? I'm imperfect... I'm broken..."

Shizuo sighed, running his free hand through his blond hair.

"Everyone has flaws, louse. I just learned to accept mine. Seeing you actually act human for once...It makes you more perfect in my book than your other self did." his large hand brushed under the red irises, catching the tears.

"Protozoan... Such simple thinking..." Izaya smirked up at him.

"Yep. We protozoans are only interested in one thing for a long time, since multitasking is too hard. Right now, I'm only interested in you. But I need to know...that you're going to try."

Izaya's eyes spilled over again. He cursed angrily under his breath at the situation.

"What if...I can't? Shizu-chan, what if it's too hard?" he asked miserably.

"I'll be right there. It'll be fine. Nothing worth having is easy."

"I don't know if I can... I just don't know anything anymore...I hate this. I hate being unsure of things. My whole life is based on calculating!" Izaya said vehemently.

"Then start a new life. With me. I'll help you like you helped me."

"I didn't help you that much, imbecile. You healed yourself," Izaya snapped.

"No. The more I got better, the worse you got. It's like...you gave parts of yourself to me so I could be whole again. Now I just need to return the favor. As long as we're together...we'll be complete."

"Heh... I'm not too keen on the idea of picking up my pieces and reassembling myself..." Izaya laughed bitterly.

"I'll do all the work. I just need you to try. I need you to _want_ to get better. Stop giving up on yourself, Izaya!"

"This is your only chance...to get rid of me once and for all. You can pull Psyche through and live with him. Or Hibiya or Roppi even. That's not appealing to you? You can finally be rid of Izaya Orihara forever..." Izaya informed him.

Shizuo laughed.

"I want to keep chasing after the same man I've been chasing for nine years. What's a monster without his flea?"

Tears welled up again before he could stop them.

Being _wanted _like this...by the man he _himself_ wanted...

Shizuo's face was above his, coffee eyes also filled with moisture.

They had been through so much. So fucking much. That's why...

"I'll try. I'll try for you, Shizu-chan..." Izaya promised.

Their lips met briefly as the tears spilled over. The moisture of both sets of tears falling consumed their faces as they kissed again and again. Finally, Shizuo pulled back and placed their foreheads together, chocolate meeting garnet.

"That's all I need from you."

Shinra came home to find the two so closely wrapped together, he wasn't sure whether or not they had merged into one body. Celty was behind him.

_[Maybe we should move them? It can't be comfortable on that little twin sized bed.]_

Shinra agreed, and the two tried to pry Shizuo away from Izaya gently. The raven whimpered and the blond growled lowly, tightening his grip.

"Um…Let's leave them…"

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><p><em>Sachi: One chapter left...Omigahhhh, I'm going to cry...This is like letting my baby go out into the world all alone! Who will love it? Who will care? grabs fic and holds it close* Mama's got you...<em>

_ Shizuo: ...You're one weird ass little girl, you know that? It's just a fanfiction!_

_ Izaya: I'll miss being the cornerstone of Sachi's love~._

_ Sachi: You will always be my love, Izaya! I've got a plan and it involves duct tape._

_ Izaya: *hides*_

_ Sachi: Anyway, review my lovelies! Let's all be together for one more chapter, ne?_


	41. Epilogue

_I don't even...just wow you guys. I can't even tell you how amazing it is to wake up with 20 unread emails about this story. You're all just...AMAZING! __Shizzuchan__, the best? Aw, you're too kind! __tsukicchan__, like I'd ever say no to cookies! I'll do my best to make it SUPER DUPER for you. __Braverly Homunculus__, you and I share the same sad feeling. __Aisling Luighseach, __you honor me! I'm so happy to be your first review! __Kauri-chan__, I seriously love your reviews! __Naliams__, for someone who says they hardly ever review, you have supported me for so many chapters! Thank you! __xxERURaiHimexx__, I love you too! I promise I'll write more emotionally scarring stories for you! __icywarm__, I owe you a great debt for being so helpful. You have stuck with me for every chapter, and I seriously love you! I hope you will stick with me for other fictions as well. __FallingforWerewolves__, me tooooo! __RaiRaiBlue, __yes! We will meet again! __Slayers64__, I felt that way too...I could make it 100 chapters, but why would I do that if half of them are fillers? I hate fillers! I did a double take too at the new review button! __PineapplesForBreakfast__, don't slap meeee! I don't mean to be depressing! As long as you love/hate me, we'll get along famously! __Izaya-Neko__...I'm kidnapped? Alright, but I require pocky every hour and a nice big can of green Monster. Also, I need access to the internet and a hot tub! Oh, and a nice castle for my kitty cat, Toki. Love your crazy reviews! Now...for the final chapter of __Psychosomatic Monsters.__ It's been a hell of a ride you guys. I love all of you~ *sobs*_

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

It's crazy how certain events can make a person reevaluate their priorities. This is how it used to be:

1. People Watching.

2. Eating ootoro.

3. Getting chased by Shizu-chan.

The new list was much like the old list, but instead of 'being chased' he simply put 'being caught'. Yes, the brute had caught him. Not like he didn't want to be caught.

Everyday since his breakdown was a challenge. It's not like you can just crack to pieces and glue yourself back together. No, it took weeks of therapy. Weeks of telling Shinra EVERYTHING. He only committed to telling the doctor so much so he could have the drugs. Those pills were fucking _magic_! They made the voices stop.

Not that the voices hadn't already been much quieter. They were almost entirely silent, even when he went a few days without his meds. It was an incredible feeling, being whole again. One that he would never again take for granted. Of course, when Shizuo found out Izaya had skipped the medication, it wasn't pretty.

"Fucking louse hasn't been taking his medication!" The blond had yelled furiously.

"Izaya! You need it! You're much more unstable than Shizuo; you can't just stop taking it! You could have a relapse and be where you were three months ago!" Shinra had yelled.

"Relax! Shit, I just wanted to see what would happen! You act like I slapped your mothers or something!" Izaya had huffed, trying to grin innocently. It hadn't worked.

Since then, Shizuo had taken the liberty of _feeding _him his pills every day. The brute would literally sit and place the white pill on the informant's tongue and glare until he saw the smaller man swallow it. Mother _fucker_.

Even so, the biggest adjustment had been working full time again...with the brute living there.

Yes, Shizuo Heiwajima lived with him now. Don't fucking rub it in. They didn't have a choice!

Shinra had been adamant about Izaya not living alone. Shizuo had volunteered to stay over for a while and watch the smaller man. Days became weeks...weeks became months... When the lease on the blond's apartment was due for resigning, Izaya just told him to leave it. They moved the rest of his stuff in the next day.

Surprisingly, Shizuo was very easy to live with. Izaya could do whatever he wanted during the day, as long as he told the taller man where he was going first. All he had to do at night was...well, you know. Shizuo was very much into sex these days. They built on it every night, not that either was keeping score. (Shizuo was. He _totally_ was.)

At first, there were disagreements of course. One of the most pointless arguments they had ever had was the whole 'white bread vs. wheat bread' mess. Shizuo had pitched a bitch fit about wheat bread tasting 'like ass', and Izaya had laughed, asking how the man knew what ass tasted like. Of course, it had lead to a chase. Later, after half of Ikebukuro was destroyed, (because they always went there even though they lived in Shinjuku) they had compromised. Now they only bought white wheat bread.

Shizuo had his own cabinets filled with his junk food. Izaya still had his health food. Both called the other's food choices 'despicable', out of fondness really.

Both...and here's the major thing, both were _happy. _It was horribly foreign to both of them. They adapted quite well though. Happiness truly isn't overrated. If you're lucky enough to find it, hold on to that shit! (Shizuo's wise words.)

Today was different. Why? Because Izaya said so. It was officially the four month mark since he had gotten better. Shizuo had officially lived in Shinjuku for three months now. And, despite popular opinion, they were still together in this fucked up relationship.

If that wasn't worth a small present, Izaya didn't know what was.

It was because of this that he strode into their shared bedroom at seven in the morning to pounce on the blond.

"Shizu-chaaaaan~! Wake up! I have a surprise!" he sang.

Shizuo growled and buried his head under the mass of pillows, grumbling about dead fleas. Izaya laughed.

"Now, now, Shizu-chan. Don't be so kind to me~! Do you know what today is?"

"The day you grow the fuck up?"

"Nope! It's opposite day!" Izaya said gleefully.

Shizuo uncovered his head to glare at the smaller man.

"Opposite day is impossible," he huffed.

"No it's not! It's opposite day because I say it is! Now play along with me or you won't get your gift!"

"Izaya... If you _say _it's opposite day, then that means it's _not _opposite day, because you said it is, so it isn't. So technically...this is just like any other day," Shizuo explained.

"Nope. Since you just said it's not, that means it is! Now come on and get up, genius!"

Shizuo didn't miss that insult. Calling him a genius on opposite day was basically calling him an idiot.

"Izaaaayaaaaaaaa~" he growled menacingly.

Laughing, the informant stood from the bed and pulled on the blond's feet. Yes, you read that right. He pulled on his feet, trying to drag him out of the bed. They both referred to this type of behavior as 'Psyche' behavior.

Izaya had many 'Psyche' moments. Whenever he would throw a fit for not getting his way, or when he referred to their sex life as a great big game (one that Shizuo was in the lead of) that was Psyche!Izaya.

Delic!Shizuo made his appearance in the bedroom. The brute had his little kinky quirks that came with having that sort of personality inside him. One incident...involved a Lolita dress. Yes, a _Lolita _dress. Of course, it had been destroyed. Not by Izaya, but by Shizuo. Damn brute ripped it off of the smaller man before practically pounding him into the bed. Stupid protozoan.

Hibiya!Izaya made his appearances in public placed. Izaya would act 'holier than thou' around clients, and especially around strangers. It was interesting to watch the raven act so confident again. Shizuo had made him keep the crown for...fun.

Tsugaru!Shizuo was the logical one that appeared sometimes. Whenever they had a pointless argument (like the bread mess) his logical side would take over. He was actually the one to suggest that they buy White Wheat.

Roppi!Izaya hadn't been around much since the informant got better. Those first few weeks were Hell though. The raven broke down and gave up at least fifty times before he realized he was making progress. Nothing came easy, ne?

Tsuki!Shizuo appeared whenever Roppi!Izaya appeared. He was the encouraging one of all the alternates.

The best part of all of this nonsense? Even when they portrayed their alternates perfectly, they were still themselves the whole time. Izaya's eyes were always carmine and Shizuo's were always mocha. They didn't have to worry about losing control anymore. It was an amazing concept...

Now though, Shizuo was forced to play along with Psyche!Izaya, and it was entertaining even though it was annoying. These little quirks he was presenting were...cute.

Do you want to go for a walk today?" he asked the raven.

"Nope~."

"Wait...does that mean yes since it's opposite day? Or no?"

"It means no, Shizu-chan," Izaya smirked.

Well, that was no fucking help.

"I hate this! Can't it be regular day?" Shizuo snarled, returning to his soap opera as Izaya typed a message on a chat room. Old habits die hard.

"Every day is regular day. Come on, it's fun to spice things up! And since you said you hated it, that means you love it."

"No, it fucking doesn't! It means I think you're an immature little fucker!" Shizuo spat.

"Awww, you're too kind!"

Son of a bitch!

"Well if you're going to be such a Psyche all day, I'm going for a walk."

Izaya looked up at him, a small frown on his face. Something was obviously troubling the informant. What could it be?

Shizuo had thought that their previous meeting with Shinra would help that frown he would sometimes wear. It was a look of worry...and Shizuo wanted it gone. So, their last meeting with the underground doctor, he made good on his promise from losing the bet...and he gave the damn man an inspirational hug. Even the look of pure terror on Shinra's face was nothing compared to the glee Izaya received from that little gesture. The damn informant laughed for ten minutes straight!

But here it was again, that damn frown was back. Shizuo sighed, and debated on whether or not to just ask what was wrong... But on opposite day, he didn't want to risk it.

"I'll be back, louse. See you in a few," he said as he turned to leave.

"I hate you, Shizu-chan," Izaya called softly.

The blond rolled his eyes, opening the door. Then...his world stopped.

"W-What?" he asked, turning to face the smaller man, who was now blushing.

"I- I...hate you. I hate you a lot."

I hate you...

On opposite day...

"Say it again," Shizuo growled, walking to the computer desk and straddling the man's lap. "Say it to me again, Izaya."

The raven's face was furiously red. He was biting his lip as he looked into the monster's eyes. But...he had promised himself he would do this...

And after what happened last time, he would never break a promise to himself ever again.

"I hate you, Shizu-chan. I hate you so much. And...I wish I could live without you..."

_"I love you, Shizu-chan."_

_ "I love you, Tsu-chan."_

_ "I love you, Delic."_

_ "I love you, Tsuki."_

Shizuo felt the small tears in his eyes as he looked at Izaya. He was being sincere. Even if the man couldn't say the actual words, even if he had to invent a fucking _holiday_ just to say them... He had said what the blond wanted to hear so desperately for months now. And Shizuo was elated to the point that he felt he could float away.

"I hate you too, louse. I'm about to make hate to you in our room. I _don't_ suggest you cancel your plans today," Shizuo purred as he captured the man's lips in his own. "I hate you, Izaya... God, I hate you..."

_"I love you, Izaya."_

_ "I love you, Psyche."_

_ "I love you, Chibiya."_

_ "I l-love you, Roppi."_

And as the blond carried the smaller man into the large bedroom, as the computer reverted to its screensaver, and the cell phone rang and wasn't answered, they couldn't help but think of how far they had come. Broken apart, and somehow merged together, they were in love- er, hate. And hate was what they had always felt, ne?

So, even if the whole opposite day concept was fake, suddenly it was their favorite holiday. And it would come once a year...or if Psyche!Izaya had his way, once a week...

To think it took a complete mental breakdown for the two morons to commit to each other...

But then again, they never did things the easy way.

So, chasing gave way to catching, and hate gave way to love. And finally, the psychosomatic monsters had been tame.

What-fucking-ever. Just leave them alone so they can make hate until Shinra comes pounding on the door to bitch for having his calls missed.

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><p><em>Sachi: Every single review...made this possible. I know it's been a long ride...But I am honored I had such great company. I-I...I fucking love you guys! :D<em>

_ Shizuo: Won't there be more Shizaya fics?_

_ Sachi: Of course! Keep a lookout on me, guys. I'm addicted to this pair._

_ Delic: What about me?_

_ Sachi: I have plans for you too, Delic. Ohohoho. Now, everyone...Take a bow! It's finally over!_

_*everyone bows*_

_Sachi: Delic! Stop checking out everyone's asses!_

_ Delic: Then don't make them bow! That's just asking for trouble!_

_ Sachi: Ugh...Once again, thank you, thank you, thank yooooou! I hope you'll all stick with me for more fics. So...until we meet again, my beloved readers. _

_ ~Sachi_


	42. One Year Later

_So umm... One more chapter? For old times sake? This is for you guys, I swear! ...Okay, so it's for me too. I can't seem to move on... This story means a lot to me. I got asked so many times if I was going to write one more chapter...and this story still gets reviews all the time...so I decided to write a bonus as a thank you. I was going to make another story instead, like a little one-shot, but I decided to just add a chapter to this one so it would alert you and no one would miss the extra part of the story. Because I love all of you and wrote this just for you! So, let's all stick together this ONE LAST TIME. This one is the last, I promise. On with the story!_

* * *

><p><strong>One Year Later<strong>

Izaya wearily blinked the sleep out of his eyes. The steady dripping continuously pounding the window told him it was raining outside. _Great. _

He rolled over to see his favorite monster, who wasn't there. He frowned. Shizuo _never _woke up before him. It was unheard of.

Yawning hugely, Izaya untangled himself from the large sea of sheets. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as the calendar caught his eyes.

It was the 24th of October.

Which meant it had been exactly a year since he agreed to help Shizuo with therapy. A year since he nearly ruined his mind. A whole _year _since he had acquired feelings for the brute.

"Damn, where has the time gone?" The informant cursed quietly. A flash of lighting shone through the window and was soon accompanied by a large booming noise.

Sighing, Izaya pulled on a clean pair of pants and set off to find his lover, not bothering with a shirt. Shizuo would just pull it off of him anyway. The monster loved to expose his body. Shizuo thought he was more attractive when he didn't wear clothes.

Damn perverted brute.

"Shizu-chaaaan!" Izaya called into the blackness that was his apartment. Frowning, he looked around to see why it was so dark even in the daytime. Ah, his curtains were drawn shut. He pulled them open and grinned at the moisture pounding the glass. If it was storming this badly, they could stay inside together all day. Izaya was already ahead of his work and Shizuo didn't usually have to work on such days. Tom hated rain.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya called again. No answer.

Cursing quietly, he tried to wrap his mind around where the brute could possibly go. It's not like he had friends, besides Shinra and Celty. Those two had been on their own planet since they got married. Nor did he have family, besides Kasuka, who was supposedly out with his new girlfriend.

No, Shizuo had nowhere to be at all, which made the poor informant confused.

He fucking hated being confused!

Deciding to get even more ahead on his work, he pulled one of the brute's shirts over his head and turned on his computer. He had an unread email from Shiki.

_Izaya, find as much info as you can on a man named "Kento Watanabe". He's been trying to get information on you and we believe he's trying to put a hit out on you. Sorry I didn't call, my cellphone is in dire need of an upgrade and hasn't been working properly._

Izaya sighed at the message. Kento seriously needed to learn to move on. It's not like _he _made Shizuo beat him up! No, Kento had brought it upon himself by being too handsy.

Besides, neither of them had even seen Kento since that day.

Izaya entered the man's name and immediately started sifting through his records.

"Rape? Oh dear. Looks like I have you," he said to no one in particular as he sent the message to Shiki, via email.

Of _course _the man would be wanted for something so foul. Kento practically reeked of foul play. This way, they could turn him in to the authorities. Unless Shiki just wanted to beat him up, which could be likely.

The man didn't like it when people threatened the men who worked for him.

Izaya's attention was on the monitor again as it made a sound signaling a new email.

_Thanks. See if you can find his coordinates. This is extremely important._

The informant frowned again. What was so important that it required immediate attention?

Nonetheless, he did as was told. He looked up credit card records and recent receipts the man had acquired.

It seemed Kento was near Shinjuku. Near him and Shizuo.

On impulse, Izaya fingered the blade in his pocket. It made him feel safer. Yes, Kento was a little pest more than anything, but he was a man humiliated by being beat up and having his advances declined.

A man that's been humiliated is capable of anything.

Izaya hurriedly sent the coordinates to his boss, awaiting a response. His monitor speakers beeped again.

_Thanks again. Stay inside today. We think he's sent someone to find you. _

The informant's blood ran cold. Shizuo was out there somewhere.

He calmed down a little when he remembered that the blond was so formidable, no one in their right mind would pick a fight. Shizuo was a master at beating people up. But...

A gun could take down anyone.

He dialed Shizuo's number.

_Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeep..._

"Dammit...pick up, Shizu-chan..."

_"Hello?"_

"Shizu-chan! Where are you?"

_"At Shinra's. Why?"_

"...Stay there for a while, alright?"

_"Why?"_

"Do you remember Kento Watanabe-san?" Izaya sighed.

_"The guy that tried to kiss you? Yeah."_

"Shiki just informed me he's sent someone to try and kill me."

_"WHAT?"_

"Calm down! This isn't the first time someone's hired an assassin to kill me! My information broking pisses people off, you know."

_"I'm coming home now." _Shizuo sounded like he was gathering things up as he spoke.

"No! If you walk here he may find you first! Just stay at Shinra's!"

_"Fuck that! I'm on my way. Stay safe, you hear me?" _There was a click as the infuriating man hung up on him.

"Dammit!" Izaya hissed. This was truly the downside of being an informant. This was death threat number...one-hundred? Somewhere around those lines.

A noise from the corner made him flinch as he instinctively reached for his blade again. No one was there. Frowning, he stood up and began checking every little crevice of his apartment.

Usually, these things never fazed him much, but it had Shiki worried.

Shiki _never _worries.

"Long time, no see." Said a voice from behind him.

"Shit!" Izaya yelped as he flicked his blade out in front of him. He blinked.

Hachimenroppi, Psyche, and Hibiya were standing before him.

"Wha... What the fuck?"

"Iza-chaaaan!" Psyche yelled, running into his arms.

"Orihara," Hibiya greeted.

"Izaya," Hachimenroppi smirked.

"I... I don't understand... How are you here?" Izaya sputtered, his blood running cold. He wasn't sure if he could handle going insane again.

"Well, my dear little idiot, you haven't taken your meds in days," Roppi answered him.

Izaya frowned as he thought back. Shizuo had been busy recently...so had he. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he had taken his pills.

"Shit," he hissed, realizing he had been careless.

"Iza-chan! It's great to see you! It's been too long! Did you miss me? I missed you! I looooveee you!" Psyche said, dancing where he stood. Izaya smiled at him.

"So help me, I actually did miss you guys. I'm such a narcissist that I love anything that's associated with myself."

"Good!" Psyche said giddily, thrusting himself in Izaya's arms again.

"Psyche! Stop being such an imbecile!" Hibiya snarled at them.

"I'm not! I'm hugging my Iza-chan!" The pink clad man retorted.

"It's something a three year old would do!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

The two continued in this manner, Psyche's arms still draped around Izaya's neck.

"I'm so glad I don't deal with this on a regular basis anymore," Roppi grimaced.

"Me too," Izaya grinned. "Psyche, could you release me for a moment?"

"Eh? Oh, sorry!"

The informant headed toward his counter and located the medicine he was supposed to take daily. He opened the bottle and dry swallowed one of the pills.

"That eager to get rid of us, huh?" Roppi smirked.

"No offense, but I don't need to lose my mind again," Izaya responded.

"None taken. I hate being separate from you. It hurts a little."

Then it hit him. By splitting himself up before, he wasn't only hurting himself. He was taking parts of himself and thrusting them into a world they were never meant to be in. Of _course _it hurt them. There was something haunting about the way they were watching his every move. These beings that were part of him...they looked at him like he was their entire world.

In a way, he was. He gave them life. Even if it was short, they managed to find love. They managed to take care of him when he could no longer take care of himself.

"What... What's it like? Being part of me again?" he asked them quietly.

They all exchanged a look of surprise.

"Izaya, what are you asking these questions for?" Roppi's smooth voice drawled.

"I... I need to know...that you're all okay."

Their eyes widened as they exchanged glances again.

"Iza-chan, I love being part of you again! It's not as overwhelming as being separate. By myself, I can't really function... And...when I'm with you, I can be with Tsu-chan," Psyche smiled at him warmly.

"You really get to be with Tsugaru? And Delic? Tsuki?"

"Of course. As long as you stay with Heiwajima, we get to stay with them," Hibiya said from his place by the counter.

"I'm glad..." Izaya breathed in relief.

"So, I've been thinking..." Psyche began.

"You think? Since when?" Hibiya looked surprised.

"I think a lot, meanie! You're such a stupid face!"

"...Did you just call my face stupid?"

"Both of you, shut the fuck up! I can't even think!" Roppi growled.

"_Anyway_, I was thinking that Iza-chan is kind of like our mother," Psyche finished, shooting a nasty glare at Hibiya as he spoke.

"...I'm not your mother," Izaya said flatly.

"He has a point," Roppi interjected. "You gave us life. You're like our unwilling, completely psycho mother."

"...I'm not a woman."

"But you act like one," Hibiya grinned smugly.

"If I was your mother, I'd send you back!"

"Well, you're kind of already doing that," Roppi said, pointing to the pills.

"UGH. Just shut up till you leave," Izaya hissed, remembering why exactly he hated having them around all the time.

He looked down. The threads were all still there. The one leading to himself was much more refined this time around. It was thicker and longer. The red one was glowing.

After a few moments of silence, Izaya heard the door open. He turned to see Shizuo standing there looking very worried.

"Flea! Everything okay?" The brute asked, turning to lock the door behind him.

"Why wouldn't they be?" Izaya asked.

"Y-You said there was someone trying to kill you!"

"Oh, right. Sorry, I've been speaking to my alternates and forgot all about that."

There was a look of terror sent his way from Shizuo. The blond took a stride toward him, closing the distance between them. He looked into Izaya's eyes.

"...You have that look again..." he said in a small voice.

"What look?"

"The one where you see right through me like I'm not here. That dazed look like you don't know what's going on. That fucking stare, Izaya!"

"Shizu-chan, relax."

"DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX, GODDAMMIT!" Shizuo roared. "Do you know what it's like having to worry that this will happen again all the time?"

"I forgot to take my medicine the past few days, alright? Don't get mad at me because you forgot too!" Izaya fought back. "You've been late getting home every night this week and today you just leave without telling me!"

"That's because I- Just forget it, alright? Did you take your medicine?" Shizuo asked in a defeated voice.

"_Yes. _Can you relax now?"

"Yes..."

"Alright then," Izaya spat, turning to see his alternates still standing there.

"What?" he asked them irritably.

"He was just worried about you..." Psyche said gently.

"I know that, alright? I hate that he always has to worry about me!" Izaya hissed.

"Then don't make him worry," Roppi said.

"I DON'T MEAN TO!"

"Then stop!" Hibiya added.

"Izaya..." Shizuo said weakly. This was like deja vu. He was losing his flea again.

"You don't get it do you? None of you do! I try not to, okay? I try every fucking day to convince him that I'm better! To convince _myself_ that I'm better! But some things can't be fixed so easily! I drove myself crazy, remember? I can't ever forget that, and neither can he! _Nothing _can ever be as it was!"

"It doesn't have to be! Don't you understand? It can be better! Stop dwelling on what happened before! It's a good thing it happened! It brought you Shizuo!" Roppi yelled back at him.

"And it brought us together!" Hibiya said loudly.

"And...it brought me Tsu-chan..." Psyche whimpered tearfully.

"...Just...shut up..." Izaya said weakly, holding his head. "What are you trying to say?"

"You need to tell him the truth! Stop acting like everything never happened! Make it worth all the effort you've put in to this!" Roppi said.

The threads started to disappear again, little by little. They all watched them as they faded.

"I...I'll do that. I promise," Izaya sighed, facing them one last time.

"We love you."

"I know."

And they were gone, for the final time. Izaya turned to face Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan, I need to know something."

"What?" Shizuo asked warily. He was terrified right now.

"It never bothers you? What happened to me before? You're fine with the fact that if I skip my medicine even for a day that I risk losing it again?"

"Izaya... I thought I already told you that I'm fine with that. I mean, does it worry me? Yes. It always does. When you snapped last time I...I realized what it would mean to lose you. I can't go through that again," Shizuo explained.

"...The fact that I'm not perfect is okay with you? Of course...you've told me that before... I just...can't get passed this. A whole year later and I'm still on this..."

Shizuo took a step forward, wrapping his arms around Izaya.

"I don't need you to get passed it entirely. Because I can never truly get passed it either. But that's alright. If we know it happened, we can try to make sure it never happens again. We can work with it, and be better monsters because of it," he murmured in black locks.

"Be better monsters?" Izaya laughed.

"It seemed unfit to say 'people'."

"We are gods, Shizu-chan."

"I get to be a god now? Since when do you call me that?" Shizuo chuckled.

"Even if you're not truly on the pedestal with me...you're _my _god."

Shizuo pulled back a little to look into carmine eyes.

"And you're mine," he grinned, kissing the smaller man. A beeping noise filled the room as Izaya's email alert went off.

_Izaya, caught Kento. He was in the process of hiring someone to kill you, but we stopped him in time. Sorry to disturb you on your off day. We'll send you more names later._

_-Shiki._

"Well, we're in the clear, Shizu-chan. Want to celebrate a whole year of partnership with me the proper way?" Izaya purred, moving over to wrap his arms around the brute's waist and go inside his shirt a little.

"Fuck, yes. But...not yet..." The blond replied, looking very frazzled as he reached behind him.

"Shizu-chan?"

The brute pulled out a tiny box from his back pocket. Izaya's eyes widened as he looked at it intently.

"Look, I'm a traditional guy... It's an anniversary for us, right? So I... I had Shinra help me pick this out..." Shizuo huffed, opening the little velvet box. There was a ring inside.

"Shizu-chan..."

"I'm not asking you to marry me. I know neither of us really believes in it anyway. But...I want you to know that I want us to be together for the rest of our lives."

Izaya looked at the small box again, taking out the tiny golden circle. He held it gently in his palm, looking at the brilliant ruby in the middle of it.

"I thought...you know, it matched your eyes..." Shizuo said quietly.

The informant laughed weakly, looking from the shining ruby to the brute's coffee eyes.

"You want to be with me forever, Shizu-chan?"

"That's all I'm asking from you, Izaya."

The raven blinked, putting the ring in Shizuo's hand. The blond looked at him in alarm, thinking he was handing it back.

"I... I want you to put it on my finger, Shizu-chan," Izaya said softly.

The taller man smiled and took the raven's left hand in his own, before he placed the golden circle on his ring finger.

"Forever?" he asked, his eyes darkening as he looked at the smaller man hungrily.

"Forever," Izaya agreed, kissing the ring on his finger.

"Good," Shizuo purred, leaning forward to seal their promise with a kiss. Izaya opened his mouth, allowing the larger man to ravish him.

"I love you, flea," the blond said as he continuously devoured the informant's mouth. "I have no damn clue why, but I love you."

Izaya closed his eyes and let the words wash over him. It made his heart flutter to hear the monster say those words. It always did.

He had promised Roppi he would do this...and a promise to Roppi was a promise to himself.

Damn it if he ever broke a promise to himself!

"I...love you too."

Shizuo snapped back like a rubber band and stared at him incredulously as if he didn't believe he heard right.

"W-What did you say?"

"I said I loved you, imbecile."

Shizuo's disbelief faded and his features softened into a large smile that covered his whole face. Izaya found that he loved how the blond's eyes lit up at the three small words.

If he always got that reaction, he would say it much more.

"That's what I thought you said." Shizuo said lowly, connecting their mouths again as he lifted the informant off the floor and carried him to their room, closing the door behind them.

A whole year had passed since they first made the promise to help each other until the end. They had each kept their word, and in the process of reassembly, had somehow managed to fuse themselves together.

There could never be a Shizuo without an Izaya. A monster could never be without his flea, and the two gods could rule from the same pedestal.

After all, a moth to a flame, an informant to a bodyguard.

It's all the same, ne?

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><p><em>Sachi: I just had to write one more... I felt bad leaving it as I did with the alternates. I feel this chapter, if anything, explains more about what happened to them. <em>

_ Izaya: You just wanted to write with me some more~_

_ Sachi: That is so true._

_ Shizuo: So...was this chapter pretty much just pointless fluff?_

_ Sachi: Yup! And Izzy admitted his love~! I feel that made the whole bonus thing worth it._

_ Izaya: Review for this bonus chapter and receive a shipment of ootoro in the mail!_

_ Shizuo: That's an awful prize. Not everyone likes it as much as you do, louse._

_ Izaya: Blasphemy!_

_ Sachi: Thank you all for reading! I love you!_


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